He came to attend my marriage all the way from Nashik

Here is the twelfth unforgettable character in my life …

I was surprised to see him at the venue of my marriage. I had distributed the invitation cards to my colleagues and friends in Nashik and had come to Kolkata for the ceremony. When I gave him the card, he had never hinted that he would come all the way from Nashik to join in the merrymaking. The reason of his sudden arrival was that both of us hailed from Kolkata proper while most of the other Bengalis in Nashik at that time came from various districts. He was from Kalighat and I was from Lake Town.

This friend of mine was a born orator and it was natural that he become a leader in the employee’s union. He would go on stage and keep his audience spellbound with his power of speech. Being a union leader he enjoyed special privileges and was always in demand.
One more feather got added to his cap when the regular priest, who performed Durga Puja, retired and moved out from the township – my friend was the automatic choice since, by then, he had acquired some experience as assistant to his senior. During Kali puja, he would maintain a maun-brata (period of silence) for more than twenty four hours – till completion of the rituals.
In private life, he had two daughters and his in-laws stayed with him. Both the daughters are happily married.
Throughout his life he had maintained his health, had remained slim with no accumulation of belly fat and, when the fashion of yoga came into practice, he mastered the art. He used to conduct classes for others and took pride in his staying powers. But, suddenly, he suffered a stroke. He was struck by paralysis and, finally, left for heavenly abode.


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

New outlets for fresh fish from Chilika

The Great Indian Bustard makes a comeback

Trekking options open up in Uttarakhand


Another boss who understood my feelings

My boss rode a scooter and wore a wig

The man who loved his work


Airstrikes kill at least 27 ISIS militants in Iraq

US police arrest serial killer of Phoenix who had killed at least nine people

Gunmen disguised as doctors shoot dead 38 persons in a Kabul hospital


Sequel of ABBA's hit musical Mamma Mia on the cards

Hackers demand ransom for Disney’s latest Pirates film

'Wonder Woman' with Gal Gadot arriving in India in June

Moody gets a call from Ronald Grump (satire)

Moody, like any blacksmith, loves to strike when the iron is hot - striking has always been his strength. After the well planned and executed surgical strike, he went ahead with his black money strike. Black money is a subject that everyone loves to talk about. And black money when added to Swiss banks make for a heady cocktail.
Of course, Moody himself shies away from cocktails and no one knows for certain whether he has ever tasted the harmless mocktails.
The ringing of the hotline brought Moody back to reality. It was the new Uncle Sam better known as Ronald Grump – a man who is unpredictable.

‘Namaste Ronald-ji,’ Moody greeted him.
‘What’s that you said just now?’ Ronald asked.
‘It is our way of salutation,’ Moody explained. ‘A welcome message Ronald-ji.’
‘My name is Ronald, Ronny for short,’ Ronald grunted. ‘I hear you have taken a very bold step in a hurry and have fallen in a pit. It does not help your image. Your people are still one century behind us and you want to overtake us.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Moody replied. ‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours.’
‘That is why you have to hammer home the message about cleanliness, build toilets, clean your rivers, is it? Look buddy, your priorities are confused.’
‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours. We invented the flying machine much before you did. It was the flying chariot - Ravana used it to kidnap Sita.’
Ronald gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know all that. You invented the zero, you invented yoga, you invented the snake charmers and you have hundreds of Godmen who perform miracles. Wake up man, there is more to living than is revealed in your philosophies.’
‘OK,’ Moody replied. ‘What is it you want?’
‘I want you to know that I talked with your pal the other day. It was a pleasant surprise. He is such a nice man. I wonder why you can’t get along with him.’
‘I don’t understand who you are talking about,’ Moody murmured.
‘Your neighbor,’ Ronald laughed. ‘Both of you were buddies, you exchanged gifts and you even dropped in on him one day, unannounced. And – all of a sudden you don’t want to talk with him! What’s the problem?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Make in Odisha conclave attracts investment of more than Rs 22000 crore on first day

Guwahati airport could become a major airline hub and gateway to the Southeast Asia

Patna zoo adds Chyawanprash to its menu to protect chimpanzees from cold


Lord Shiva cracks jokes and Durga fries samosas (satire)

Moody hates black money and strikes at midnight (satire)

Didi sharpens her weapons to conquer the Hindi belt (satire)


Ohio student stabs people with a butcher knife before being shot dead

Ukraine plans missile tests, Russia responds by sending warships to the Black Sea

London Police deputes anti-terrorism patrol units under Operation Servator


Sir Roger Moore says he could play James Bond once again

President Putin grants Russian citizenship to Hollywood star Steven Seagal

US President Barack Obama presents Medal of Freedom to Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, Robert De Niro, Diana Ross and Bill Gates

Didi wants to promote small scale industries (satire)

Back in power for a second term, Didi has realized that industries are a must for development and, she called the leaders close to her for a brainstorming session – the objective was to identify those industries that can co-exist with rice fields and coconut trees.
‘I want industries,’ she announced. ‘Tell me Moo Cool – how do we start?’
Moo Col gulped and cleared his throat. He knew Didi’s interpretation of industries and, he must think up something that would suit the Boss.
‘We could go in for ceiling fans,’ he said. ‘There used to be such factories once upon a time, we can revive them.’
Didi looked at him hard.
‘How can you think of ceiling fans when air-conditioners are the norms of today?’
‘If you ask me, I’ll say we could consider hand held fans,’ Abhi Shake spoke.

‘You mean like hand held computers?’ Dee Wreck asked.
‘Those operate on batteries,’ Abhi Shake explained. ‘What I mean are the fans made from the leaves of the palm tree. The talpatar pakha, an example of Make in India. It would appeal to the leaders in Delhi.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Didi said. ‘Moreover, it will help tone up and maintain the muscles of the arm – an extended form of yoga. It will be a boon for the musclemen. We could even export the hand fans to Bangladesh and other such nearby areas. And – who knows, they could even enter the European market. I’ll talk about it when I go to the Vatican.’
‘I have another idea,’ Patro Chatto said. ‘Let us bring back the horse carriages. Someone has made an air-conditioned horse drawn carriage and is renting it out for weddings. We can make them in thousands and, not only run them in the city but even export them. There will be a ready market because it is environment friendly.’
‘I think this is a good idea,’ Omit Misra said. ‘This also falls in the Make in India bracket and will find favor with Delhi. I can discuss it with Jet Lee and try to get some separate grant for this industry.’
‘Fine,’ Didi said. ‘You do that. Remember – we must have industries. Even the small ones help. Little drops of water go to make the mighty ocean.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Powerful tornado hits eastern China killing at least 51 people

British Airlines have suspended all flights to Sharm el-Sheikh in Egypt indefinitely

People in Gujarat prefer mobile phones to toilets inside the house


Yoga and khadi gel with Baba and Moody (satire)

Didi’s ideas to prevent suicides in Metro Rail (satire)

Goddess Saraswati is furious with toppers toppled (satire)


Tom Hanks to receive the lifetime achievement award at the Rome Film Fest

Darth Vader, the galactic man in black, to make a comeback in Rogue One

'The Jungle Book' inches towards the Rs 200 crore mark - Disney contemplates a sequel


20-year-old British man wanted to kill Donald Trump in Las Vegas

Violence in Sirte between ISIS and pro-government militiamen kills at least 60

Terror suspect in Brussels shopping mall wore a fake suicide vest

Moody embraces yoga, his medics could embrace poverty (satire)

The international day of yoga was a feather in the cap of not only Moody but of all his ministers because, at long last, the whole world has realized that in spite of reported starvation deaths, in spite of suicides of farmers, in spite of an uneducated mass who love open air toilets, there is enough reason to rejoice. Yoga has taken the world by storm and Moody has people eating out of his hands.
As he mused over how to expand the new found yoga base, his phone rang. It was Raneeji – the woman who used to be a TV star but who changed tracks in time and is now the minister who looks after education.
‘I have given the matter some thought,’ she said. ‘The world needs education. Yoga does not mean just exercises but each pose has to be understood. And – I have drawn up a list of people who can be sent to educate others.’
‘But – I wanted Baba Someday to do this,’ Moody said. ‘He has experienced people.’
‘I am thinking globally. Woman power is the need of the hour and I have in mind a team of woman yoga experts,’ Ranee-ji replied. ‘Our message must go out to all corners of the world. Everyone needs to appreciate the importance of yoga. My people have created handbooks and video cassettes that we will distribute during teaching sessions.’

‘Good work,’ Moody said. ‘Make it a compulsory part of education. Announce prizes. That sort of incentives will work wonders.’
As he replaced the receiver, his health minister Jaypee Gadda entered with Hash Budden, his earlier health minister. Both were serious.
‘Any problems?’ Moody enquired.
‘Our profession is at peril,’ Gadda murmured. ‘If yoga can cure diabetes, what will the doctors do? And – the nutritionist? They cannot just close down their chambers.’
‘Yes,’ Hash Budden added. ‘To earn the degree, one has to spend money, study, practice dissections with corpses. And - to set up practice they have to invest lakhs of rupees. Yoga will see them on the streets.’
Moody grinned.
‘Don’t panic,’ he assured. ‘I know all the ins and outs. There are many areas other than diabetes where the doctor is indispensable like road accidents, bride burnings and acid attacks. Doctors will never starve.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

HTT-40, India's homegrown basic trainer aircraft, to debut in Aero India 2017

Maithon Dam to be venue for kayaking and canoeing national championships

KVIC brings out Yogasutra, clothes made of khadi for yoga exercises


Moody’s whirlwind trip - five countries in six days (satire)

Didi’s Delhi dreams – from telebhaja to aloo chat (satire)

All about chest size and happy days (satire)


Christina Grimmie shot dead by unidentified gunman in Florida

TE3N first day box office collection of Rs 2.61 crores in India fails to impress

Sonu Nigam opens up on technology and modern day music


Suicide bomb attacks by Taliban kill more than 20 in Afghanistan

Two brothers arrested from Long Island - another possible massacre prevented

Delhi police unearths a kidney transplant racket - arrests kingpin from Kolkata

Yoga and khadi gel with Baba and Moody (satire)

Moody had always wanted to string together people from all walks of life by using a thread that will withstand the rigors of time. And – he selected the magic of yoga and khadi. Both are unique to India, the land of snake charmers and rope tricks.
The door of his chamber opened and in peered the hairy face of Baba Someday. He was enjoying life. His Pat & Jolie set up had become a terror for the MNCs because Baba has brought into the market every conceivable product from medicines to biscuits to creams and lotions.
‘Have you fixed your program?’ Moody asked.
‘Yes,’ Baba replied. ‘I will be in Hawaii on yoga day. It will be beach yoga. The locals love their beaches and I will tap that weakness.’

‘Hope you will carry with you samples of khadi towels and mats.’
‘That has already been shipped. The items will be there in Havana and my men will distribute them before commencing the yoga.’
‘Good. I have asked each of my ministers to be in their places exactly on time. They will all be dressed in khadi. It is comfortable. I must tell my backroom boys to coin a new slogan on yoga and khadi.’
‘We could rope in some Bollywood stars to promote khadi fashion. There are many out-of-work actors and actresses who would jump at the opportunity. We could dangle the carrot of some Padma awards.’
‘Not a bad idea.’ Moody said.
Suddenly Pyari Kar rang up.
‘Yes,’ Moody cleared his throat.
‘Our girls have flown,’ Pyari said.
‘Which girls? Where have they flown to? Have you informed our missions abroad?’
Pyari Kar laughed.
‘I mean our fighter pilots. The girls have flown in fighter aircraft.’
‘Good. Girls are our assets. How about training them in sword fighting?’
‘That, I think, has started.’
Moody replaced the receiver and waved Baba away.
He has shown how to influence the decision of others. Those who thought ill of him were forced to set aside the past and embrace the new Moody who has created a new lifestyle for himself. In spite of knowing that threats that lurk in every corner, he does not have machine gun toting muscle men accompanying him but relies on the stout stick wielded by his clan. The stick can be a formidable weapon in experienced hands. (to be continued…)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Vistara to begin a daily flight from Kolkata to Delhi for travelers to Europe

Colony of red squirrels in Wales scared stiff due to rave parties

Turkey's plan to boost tourism - sends an Airbus A300 at the sea bottom


Mama comes calling on Moody (satire)

Didi plans new conquests via Rabindrasangeet (satire)

Lord Shiva and achhe din through Gangajal (satire)


Christina Grimmie shot dead by unidentified gunman in Florida

TE3N first day box office collection of Rs 2.61 crores in India fails to impress

Sonu Nigam opens up on technology and modern day music


Ukraine police arrest a French citizen to foil terror bid during Euro 2016

Delhi police unearths a kidney transplant racket - arrests kingpin from Kolkata

Car bomb attack on Istanbul police leave 11 dead

Moody’s mind flits from Black Money to White House (satire)

Moody had a tight schedule ahead of him. He wanted to rejig his ministers because many of them we not pulling their weight. Rather they were putting on weight and that soils the image of an efficiently run organization – the organization in this case was India.
He had a sheet of paper on his table with a list of ministers – both senior and junior. His laptop was also open and he was going through details of each and every one to weed out the unwanted.
Suddenly his intercom rang. It was Sue Sharma – she had been released from hospital and was gradually getting back into the groove.
‘I wanted to meet you urgently,’ Sue said.
‘What is it about?’
‘Your visit to America.’

‘There is time,’ Moody said.
‘We have to work out some strategy,’ Sue said. ‘The situation there is changing.’
‘I know. Our friend Bee Rack O’Vama will be leaving and a new man will take over.’
‘Could be a woman also,’ Sue reminded. ‘No one really knows but we have to be prepared for any eventuality.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Moody said.
‘Last time you had taken a gift that impressed our friend.’
‘Yes. It was a copy of the Bhagavat Gita.’
‘What’ll you take this time?’
‘His successors may not appreciate such gifts,’ Sue Sharma cautioned.
‘But – why should I worry about them now?’ Moody asked. ‘My friend still holds office and I’ll interact with him. He and I are good friends. When the guard changes, I’ll also change my strategy. Don’t worry about these issues – take rest.’
Moody went back to his research but there was another disturbance. It was Baba Someday and, from the way he entered, it was clear that he had something on his mind.
‘Yes Baba-ji – have you come to know the latest on Black Money?’
Baba gave a wry smile.
‘No, I have sent it to the back seat,’ he said as he occupied the chair. ‘It is about your visit to the White House.’
‘Please continue. I’m all attention.’
‘I want you to be my brand ambassador.’
‘For what?’
‘Yoga and Ayurveda,’ Baba said. ‘Both are great for maintaining health and America is a huge potential market. I want to enter that market in a big way and bring in the dollars. I want you to put in a few words in places that matter that will help the cause.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Cruise ship Harmony of the Seas can accommodate more than 8,000 passengers and crew

Leopards in search of food on the prowl in streets of Gujarat

Bust the obesity timebomb with grapes and oranges


Monsoons and Didi’s flipflops aka Hawaii chappals (satire)

Chopper scam and Moody’s questions (satire)

Baba Someday, his yoga and Pat & Jolie face cream (satire)


High alert in Cannes for the film festival where 45000 people would attend

Kavita Kaushik to play the role of an Army doctor in TV show “Dr. Bhanumati on Duty”

Lady Gaga to portray legendary singer Dionne Warwick in 'Dionne'


Bombs rock Baghdad - ISIS car bombs kill at least 89

No buyers for Zimmerman's gun that killed Trayvon Martin in 2012

Australian police arrest five men who planned to go to Syria by boat to join ISIS

Baba Someday, his yoga and Pat & Jolie face cream (satire)

Baba Someday is always into something or the other that would benefit the masses. His heart bleeds for the misguided folks who gorge on foreign stuff and, he is determined to change their eating habits.
Hence, he was excited to have with him Bhaloo-ji who could be influenced to become Baba’s brand ambassador. As it is, Baba was himself his brand ambassador and he was confident of handling it on his own. But, two heads are better than one, hence his idea to rope in Bhaloo-ji.

‘Bhaloo-ji, I want you to try out mu products,’ he had suggested to Bhaloo-ji when they had met at a gathering.
‘What sort of products?’ Bhaloo-ji had asked. He had recently been out of hospital after some heart problems.
‘My Pat & Jolie setup has developed a face cream,’ Baba said. ‘It is purely ayurvedic and it is made up of readily available herbs from the Himalayas.’
‘What is its advantage?’ Bhaloo-ji asked. ‘My daughters are always trying out the latest products that appear in the TV ads. If it is not available in the local market, they get it online.’
‘My cream will make your skin glow like never before,’ Baba said. ‘It is much more effective compared to the face cream promoted by that King character of Bollywood movies.’
‘Well, I don’t mind trying it out,’ Bhaloo-ji said.
‘Then I will for you in my office,’ Baba said. He knew that an endorsement from a renowned person like Bhaloo-ji could give his product that extra cutting edge.
Bhaloo-ji was famous in his own special way – he loved cows and, it is rumored that all his cows enjoy air conditioned comfort in their cowsheds. His philosophy – look after the cows and they’ll look after you. Of course, he was involved in a fodder scam – but, which leader isn’t?
Baba also had a fondness for cows. His cows gave not only milk but, ghee and butter as well and it was a market that was growing day by day.
Yoga was another weakness of Baba. He has toiled real hard to bring yoga into the limelight and, impressed by his involvement in this ancient method of exercising all your faculties, he succeeded in earning global recognition and acceptance. Yoga was now on everybody’s lips and it has displaced aerobics from many countries.
Suddenly there was a commotion in the crowd. The media persons moved aside to make way for Bhaloo-ji who made his grand entry – the hair on his ears were carefully combed back to give him that extra appeal. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Baya weaver birds return to Ganjam district in Odisha

28 thrillseekers stuck in Alton Towers Galactica rollercoaster ride for 40 minutes

Walking is the best exercise in polluted cities


Moody wonders why American space research firms are jittery (satire)

Lord Shiva and Durga on home delivery and drones (satire)

Sujjo Kanto and Ritu Bruto on free LPG connections (satire)


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


Michael Fassbender to portray the role of a serial killer in 'Entering Hades'

Disney plans live action fairytales for 2017, 2018 and 2019 - specific films not disclosed

Matt Damon to return in new Jason Bourne film

Moody’s policy – love thy neighbor (satire)

Moody’s policy – love thy neighbor (satire) Moody is a very religious leader – he follows all the rituals dutifully and when the situation demands, he can remain active as always on just a few glasses of water. It was all thanks to the discipline and yoga – both are necessary to take care of uncertainties.
But – the behavior of his neighbor had him totally confused even though his policy is ‘love thy neighbor’.
That is why he had sent an urgent SMS to Sue Sharma and Jet Lee – the two individuals who were closest to him. They had heaps of knowledge on anything pertaining to other countries.

‘The sudden about turn of our neighbor is really strange, don’t you think so?’ Moody asked Sue Sharma.
‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘We had high hopes for him. And – the opposition is now saying that the shawl-saree strategy has backfired.’
‘No, I don’t think so,’ Moody shook his head. ‘My poor friend is passing through terrible times. He has few people that he can trust. He was not knowing about that incident in our air force base. I think it was a case of mistaken identity. Something to do with cattle that had crossed the borders and entered our base searching for fresh grass.’
‘Yes,’ Jet Lee joined the conservation. ‘We can’t blame the poor animals – after all, our side of the border is greener as compared to theirs. And - animals don’t believe in borders and barbed wires. When hungry, they just locate new pastures.’
‘Tell me,’ Moody leaned forward in his chair and asked – ‘how does one define terrorism? Who is a terrorist?’
‘A very tough question,’ Jet Lee cleared his throat and gave a diplomatic reply.
‘I find it difficult to accept the fact that when people are on the give and take concept with regard to shawls and sarees, how can the relationship sour up so soon?’ Sue Sharma commented. ‘There must be something that we are missing.’
‘Exactly,’ Moody heaved a sigh of relief. ‘I want to get to the bottom of this. Let us form a committee to go deep into the matter and find a solution.’
‘I think that would be just fine,’ Jet Lee said. ‘I’ll get it organized.’
‘Also, check up the latest design of pashmina shawls that have come in the market,’ Moody added. ‘I must keep another set ready to gift my neighbor the next time we meet.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Moody comes face to face with a hijacker in midair (satire)

Moody was off on another of his foreign jaunts and his team of ministers were there at the airport to see him off. Once inside the aircraft, and surrounded by his henchmen and muscle men, he retired to his corner, looked out of the window and watched the ground staff applying finishing touches to the takeoff.
A steward came up with a tray on which was a glass of fresh water. He removed the cover of the glass and stood at attention as Moody picked up the glass, took a sip of pure water and returned the glass.
The purity of the water was certified by the Food and Drinks department.
He now closed his eyes and went over in his mind on what he would do in the course of his visit. Yes, he would ensure meeting NRIs in those places and invite them to return back to India and become a part of his projects. He would also try to influence the leaders to invest in his various drives, especially cleanliness. He will make it a point to extract information on how they keep their surrounding so clean and how their trains are so punctual and how they track down terrorists.

Suddenly his mobile phone rang. It was Sue Sharma on the line.
‘Yes,’ he wanted to know.
‘There has been a hijacking,’ Sue whispered.
‘Any Indians involved?’ Moody asked.
‘So far no news to worry about, but my men are checking up. I’ll keep you informed.’
‘Where did this happen?’
‘In the Middle East. The hijacker wore a suicide vest.’
The aircraft was airborne by now and Moody looked around him. His bodyguards were in their seats and in the yoga mood – they had their eyes closed and were breathing in and out and he could see their chests moving rhythmically.
Moody was happy – everything was going like clockwork.
Suddenly a woman came up to him and Moody was surprised. Except for a few of his ministers like Sue Sharma, Emma Melaney, Uma-ji and Ranee-ji, he tried to avoid coming in close contact with members of the opposite sex.
She smiled at him and sat on one of the empty seats. Moody could see the skirt ride over her knees and he turned his glance away. He was annoyed – his bodyguards should not have allowed her to come into his private area.
‘Hi,’ the girl greeted him. ‘Don’t look at me like that. I’ll not harm you if you listen to me.’
She was speaking in a low tome, just above the whisper.
Moody tried to ignore her.
‘Look at me,’ she said and removed her pullover. Beneath was what looked like a special vest. She now leaned over and smiled. ‘This is a suicide vest I am wearing. I plan to hijack your plane and I want you to help me.’
Moody was sweating by now. He suddenly found that he had lost is voice. He wanted to call out to his bodyguards but they were still in the yoga trance. He tried to get up from his seat but lost his balance – and discovered that he was alone in his cubicle. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Moody gets a call from Uncle Sam and takes a trip to Mars (satire)

It was a long time that Moody had not gone abroad and, therefore, he was wondering if the world had forgotten all about him. He remembered the famous saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ and shook his head. No – he did not want the world to forget him. He had made a name for himself within a very short time knew that he held all the aces.
It was at this moment that his phone rang – it was the direct hotline with Uncle Sam.
‘Hi there,’ Uncle Sam wished him. ‘How are things out there?’
‘Fine,’ Moody said. ‘Everything is just fine. How about you? And, your retirement plans?’
‘It’s all taken care of. Tell me – I heard that you are getting waxing done.’
Moody laughed.
‘It is all for a good cause,’ he explained. ‘They want me in the company of celebrities and, I just cannot refuse them.’

‘You are lucky. You have blazed a trail like no other. With so many selfies to your credit, and so many millions of followers on Twitter, you have an identity. I have a suggestion.’
‘Go ahead, I am all ears.’
‘I think you have plans to send a satellite to Mars?’
‘Of course. My men have the capability. Remember – we have invented the flying machine long before the Wright Brothers. The Demon King Ravana used it to kidnap our beloved Sita-mata.’
‘Yes, I know all about that. Only – it has not been recorded properly in the annals of history. Anyway – what is latest about your Mangalyaan?’
‘It is working fine. You said you wanted to put forth a suggestion?’
‘Yes. I just want to know what items you will send to Mars in the first lot.’
‘My technical team is on the job. I hate to interfere in their workings.’
‘But – you must have given them some broad guidelines.’
‘Of course. Our first batch of items would include ayurvedic roots, barks of medicinal trees, CDs of yoga practices. These would be invaluable to the first batch of Indian astronauts who will land on the Red Planet Mars.’
‘You mean your men would depend on yoga and roots to survive on the distant planet?’
‘Why not? Our sages used to sit under trees and meditate for years. The journey to Mars would be no problem.’
‘What about space suits and zero gravity? How’ll your boys overcome that?’
‘Yoga my friend is the solution. Baba Someday is already on the job training the future astronauts. In a secret cave in the Himalayas he is busy on Mission Mars.’
‘Happy dreams,’ Uncle Sam rang off, Moody woke up with a start and rubbed his eyes. Then he reached for his intercom. He must get the latest on Mangalyaan. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva does the treadmill as Sarasawti advises students (satire)

Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Didi announces holiday for Maha Shivratri (satire)


Jaipur Railway Station goes solar - will mean annual savings of Rs 7.2 lakh on power bills

Alphonso mango, the King of Fruits, make its appearance in Mumbai

Legalise cannabis and pick up £1bn a year in taxes


Tila Tequila evicted from Celebrity Big Brother because of her praise of Hitler

West Bengal tourism to ride piggy-back on Amitabh Bachhan starrer 'Te3n'

‘Heidi’ based on the children’s novel of 1881 becoming a movie from Hollywood


Russia to train five dolphins for its underwater combat fleet

Iran gets ready to launch its Somorgh missile into outer space

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Moody was, as always, serious and in a thoughtful mood. He had realized that yoga is the be-all and end-all and it can wow the world as it has already done. But, in order to ensure that the memories and euphoria do not vanish, he had to revive interest in this ancient form of art that is unique to our culture.
Yes, no matter what people may say, yoga is an art.
It had been practiced by the sages of yore – and, since doctors were unheard of in the days of Ramayana and Mahabharata, yoga was the only medicine to cure all ills from indigestion to broken arms.
Suddenly the door opened a fraction of an inch and Hash Budden peeped in – he was a doctor by profession and was responsible for looking after various aspects of health. Along with him was Baba Someday – a very busy man who was adept at balancing his interests in both yoga and business.
Moody waved them in.
‘Have you worked out a strategy?’ he wanted to know.

‘We will make it a bigger affair,’ Baba Someday said. ‘My Pat & Jolie will provide all refreshments right from pure milk to crisp salted biscuits and instant noodles.’
‘Good,’ Moody nodded. ‘We want to project our indigenous products to the world and the yoga meet will be an opportunity.’
‘Who knows, someone might want to import them’ Baba Someday said. ‘After all no one can deny the health benefits of Pat & Jolie foodstuffs.’
‘I think we should invite some dignitary to be the Guest of Honor on the occasion,’ Hash Budden suggested. ‘Like we did in the R-Day.’
‘I also was thinking about it,’ Moody said. ‘Any ideas?’
Before Hash Budden could reply, Sue Sharma entered with Jet Lee. Sue Sharma looked to be excited about something.
‘We have a couple of ideas for the Yoga Meet,’ Jet Lee said. ‘If you can spare a few minutes, the lady can get it off her chest.’
‘Go ahead, I am all attention,’ Moody said.
‘I just now got a call from the land of the Eskimos,’ Sue Sharma began. ‘The lady spoke in broken English and wanted to know when you would go to visit them.’
Moody was taken aback.
‘Why should I go to visit them?’ he asked. ‘What can they offer us except polar bear furs or seal skins or penguins? I don’t think any of those would be useful.’
‘Moody-ji,’ Hash Budden intervened. ‘It is a God-sent opportunity we cannot miss.’
‘Please explain.’
‘Why don’t we invite the Eskimos for the yoga meet? Their leader could be the Guest of Honor.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Half pant brigade to participate on R-Day (satire)

#rday #makeinindia #halfpant #yoga Another R-day was looming large on the horizon and Moody was wary because his chief guest might find it difficult to have a clear vison of the impressive scenes that would unfold before his eyes. The problem was the fog and poor visibility.
‘How best can we overcome the problem?’ he asked Sue Sharma who was seated with him in his chamber along with Jet Lee and Hash Budden.
‘An exercise of odd-even had managed to reduce the problem,’ Hash Budden said. ‘But – that should not be a major problem because the tableaus would move at a snail’s pace.’
‘We could give him binoculars,’ Sue suggested. ‘That way he need not strain his eyes.’
‘And – the half pant brigade will be an added attraction,’ Moody said. ‘I want to popularize it.’

‘I know, ’Sue Sharma said. ‘There has been criticism from some quarters on this issue.’
‘I am not bothered about that. If people can go around in bermudas and hot pants, then why can’t some of them go around in half pants?’
‘You do have a point there,’ Sue agreed.
‘Moreover the half pant team would twirl their sticks and demonstrate how effective a weapon it can be. It will be a golden tribute to our Make in India concept.’
Jet Lee nodded his approval.
‘I want to take him to Varanasi also,’ Moody said. ‘I want to show him around my dream city that is coming up like its Japanese counterpart. I thought of taking him on our new train. It looks just like a foreign train.’
‘It’ll be a long journey,’ Jet Lee said.
‘Jut an overnight journey,’ Moody brushed off the remarks. ‘It will bring us closer. We can lay the groundwork for some important deals.’
‘That is right,’ Hash Budden sounded serious. ‘What deals do you have in mind?’
‘We have exported the yoga – now it is the turn of the half pant and stick,’ Moody said and reached for a dhokla. ‘I am sure once my guest sees the power of the stick that the half pant brigade can wield, he will take home the idea and introduce it in his country. It will save him money on security.’
The others also reached for their dhoklas – this had become a routine, dhokla on a regular basis along with tea minus sugar and milk. Either dhokla or gathia. They longed for snacks like samosa with tea made of a liberal dose of milk and sugar which gives extra energy. But – they had got used to these changes. (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)

Bengal’s solution to tackle air pollution (satire)


Goa Carnival Package by Indian Railways - train to leave Mumbai on Feb 5

Walmart surrenders to Amazon, decides to close down 269 stores in the US and Latin America

Mass burning of all cigarettes in Turkmenistan to stamp out smoking


David Bowie succumbs to his 18-month battle against cancer

Kangana Ranaut learns horse riding for her role in ‘Rangoon’

Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan to promote tourism in Bengal


At least seven killed in Jakarta suicide attacks near Starbucks cafe

More than 23 killed in Splendid Hotel, Burkina Faso, by al-Qaeda

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily