Angel Miracle talks to Moody about the spaceship (satire)

Moody was on cloud nine with the launch of 104 satellites at one go – it was a feat worth celebrating and, as he watched the live event, he dreamt of the spaceship. How nice it would be if he launched a spaceship that would be manned by his own people and, still have room to take in outsiders. Even if they were his enemies.
It would all be for a common cause, namely to spread the message of his brand of goodwill through lathi wielding men.
The phone call disturbed his conversation, the caller was that German woman.
‘Is that Herr Moody?’ her voices came over the line.
‘Ji haah,’ Moody replied. ‘Aap kaun?’
‘Guten Morgen Moody,’ she said. ‘I am Angel Miracle. I rang up to congratulate you on the launch. But, why did you launch 104, why not 100 or 125 or even 150. What is so special about 104? Was it to commemorate any major event that was 104 years old? Was it the 104th birth anniversary of any forgotten leader?’

Moody was embarrassed. He had never thought on those lines.
‘Actually, 104 is divisible by 4 and there are four directions North, South, East and West. Then there is the cow, it has four legs. And, a car has four wheels. We cannot ignore four.’
‘Whatever it be, do you know why I rang you up?’ she asked.
‘No,’ Moody admitted.
‘I want to talk about your spaceship,’ she said. ‘I heard you plan to launch a spaceship. What is its name? Does it rhyme with Mangalyaan and Chandrayaan?’
‘The naming part is with a special committee,’ Moody explained. ‘I cannot rush such matters.’
‘Who is the brain behind this project?’
‘Pushpak Rath was the original flying machine and it was built here. Ravana used it to kidnap Sita and the western people stole the idea.’
‘But that doesn’t answer my question.’
Suddenly the door opened and Baba Someday entered – he was all smiles. He was carrying a bunch of drawings and, Moody knew that it was about the spaceship – it would soon see the light of day. (to be continued ..)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Barack Obama enters the league of top US Presidents with ranking of 12

Public tours of the White House will begin again from March 7

Explosion in French nuclear power plant in a non-nuclear zone


Didi caught in the whirlpool of industries (satire)

Moody’s love hate relationship with the raincoat (satire)

The curse of social media – cold blooded murders committed


Mumbai will get to see Justin Bieber in action on May 10

Kangana Ranaut is 'fearless Julia' in Rangoon

Shakti Kapoor holds his audience spellbound in the Khandagiri Yatra


ISIS carries out car bombing in Baghdad - kills at least 55

Suicide bomb attack kills at least 72 in a Sufi shrine in Pakistan

Mayor of London worried about ISIS attacks on the city

Moody’s love hate relationship with the raincoat (satire)

Moody was allergic to raincoats – when the movie was released, he just could not get an opportunity to see it because he was busy selling tea and then climbing the ladder of success. Building an empire of his liking was more important than even caring for his better half. He allowed her complete freedom to go on pilgrimage.
The telephone rang and distracted his attention. He picked up the receiver and heard a feminine voice. The caller was Tressa May.
‘I heard you peeped into a bathroom and have got involved in a raincoat affair?’ she asked.

Moody gulped.
‘You have been misinformed,’ he said. ‘Why should I go peeping into bathrooms?’
‘Well – the news has gone viral that there is a Peeping Tom on the prowl. Anyway, tell me – why should you pick on an aged man to be the butt of your joke? Why did you not pick someone your size? Of course 56-inch chest is not a common sight.’
Moody gulped again. He had never realized that raincoats could create such a sticky situation. By the time he thought up a suitable reply, Tressa May had gone off the line and Baba Someday entered the cabin.
Moody’s eyes lit up. He could discuss raincoats with him. The Baba had never felt the need of a raincoat till now – his glistening black beard and topless figure was the envy of every Bollywood star.
‘Tell me Baba,’ Moody asked him. ‘How can you survive without a raincoat when it is pouring cats and dogs?’
‘I just enjoy the raindrops giving me a natural full body wash,’ Baba grinned. ‘It is something that no beauty salon can give. You can also give it a try.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

New luxury cruise liner Seabourn Encore is labeled as 'sexiest ship at sea'

Mahatma Gandhi’s samadhi at Rajghat gets a new look

200-year-old banyan tree uprooted by cyclone Vardah replanted in Chennai


The curse of social media – cold blooded murders committed

Saraswati Puja means entering a new phase of life

Moody on UFO, Mangalyaan and Moon Mission for monkey baat (satire)


Naomie Harris gets Oscar nomination in the best-supporting actress category for Moonlight

Nicole Kidman could earn $8 million if she writes her autobiography

Sets of the film Padmavati in Jaipur vandalised, Bhansali cancels shooting


Mayor of London worried about ISIS attacks on the city

Militants in Indonesia looking for women terrorists

Six people shot dead by gunmen in a mosque in Quebec City during evening prayers

Moody on UFO, Mangalyaan and Moon Mission for monkey baat (satire)

Moody had made a name for himself in a number of areas that had never been charted by any other political leader – one was his passion for selfies, another was his passion for coining new phrases and the third was his passion for talking. He was the most popular leader and, if and when, an Extra Terrestrial landed from outer Space, it would be sure to look him up.
Suddenly, the phone on his desk rang.
‘Yes, Moody here,’ he picked up the receiver and said.
There was a lot of crackling noise in the line followed by a continuous shrill blast of a whistle and then a voice came over.

‘Am I speaking to the most popular man on Earth?’ the voice asked.
‘Of course I am the most popular man on Earth,’ Moody replied.
‘And the man who loves selfies?’
‘Yes, undoubtedly. I set the trend and other leaders are following.’
‘And, the man who has travelled to all the countries in the world.’
‘Yes again,’ Moody was getting irritated. ‘But, who are you? I don’t recollect meeting you.’
‘You are right. We have not met yet.’
‘How did you get my number?’ Moody panicked. ‘Only a few top leaders of the world have access to my number.’
‘I am an alien, I don’t come under the control of any Earthling. I have my own UFO and can travel at will wherever I want to go. Do you want to meet me?’
Moody was amused. If an alien did come to meet him, it would be a unique experience.
‘OK Mr. Alien, please do make your entry,’ he said.
He was an orator par excellence and loved to hear his own voice. That is how monkey baat, the monthly radio program, took off. However, the novelty soon wore off and Moody was worried about which topic to talk on to hold the attention of his audience.
He had his answer. He would talk about UFOs in his next monkey baat, UFO, Mangalyaan, and Moon Mission. They all begin with M, just like his own name. Such a session would draw the younger generation to the radio.
A discreet knock on the door brought him back to reality. (to be continued …)


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Mars mission very much on the cards - six scientists are getting ready in Hawaii

Remembering Princess Diana on her 20th death anniversary

Restaurant offering only organic food opens in Jubilee Hills, Hyderabad


Didi to UP on a selling mission (satire)

Ronald Grump invites Moody to Las Vegas (satire)

In the wonderland of deo sprays, fairness creams, and condoms


Sets of the film Padmavati in Jaipur vandalised, Bhansali cancels shooting

Indian born actress Priyanka Bose talks about the movie 'Lion'

Pakistan government lifts the ban on Indian films with 'Raees' and 'Kaabil'


Fire in a mosque in Texas - the Islamic Center of Victoria badly damaged

ISIS had plans to launch chemical warfare - evidence unearthed in Mosul

26-year-old man mows down four people and injures another 25 in Melbourne CBD

Ronald Grump invites Moody to Las Vegas (satire)

Moody was worried and the phone call came like a breath of fresh air to rekindle hopes of a new bond between him and Ronald Grump, the most powerful man on Earth. There was a big age gap between them and a still yawning chasm of diverse culture. But, Moody knew that he could win over Ronald.
He just need some time to size up his new found ally.
‘Hi Moody,’ Ronald said in a loud voice. ‘How are you this morning? Had a good night’s sleep? Breakfast?’
‘I rise early,’ Moody said. ‘And, I always have sound sleep. I don’t need to count sheep.’
‘I was joking,’ Ronald laughed. ‘You are waking up now and I am going to sleep. It’s the time difference. But, don’t forget – we are friends.’
‘Bahut dhanyabad,’ Moody replied.
‘Danny is bad? Which Danny?’
‘Danny is not bad,’ Moody explained. ‘I said dhanyabad which means thanks. I am counting on you to keep the pests off my back.’

‘Don’t you worry. I have my work cut out. The world will be a better place to live in with me at the helm. I’ll stop outsiders from entering my house. I’ll put up barricades. I’ll send bloodhounds after them.’
‘What do you mean by outsiders?’
‘I don’t need to spell it out. It is obvious, isn’t it? Anyway – I just called to tell you we’ll make a great pair. You and I. We’ll make things happen.’
‘That’ll be great. We must meet and chalk out a plan.’
‘Why don’t you come over and let your hair down? I’ll show you around Las Vegas – you can try your hand at the casino. And – we can have a ball at one of the night clubs,’ Ronald Grump was bubbling with excitement.’
‘Thanks for the offer – but, I am not of that type.’
‘Hey man, it’ll all be discreet,’ Ronald said in a low voice. ‘No one will know. My secret service men are experts, they will keep your media out.’
Moody gulped. He did not have a ready answer – and that has never happened before.
‘Are you afraid that your wife will find out?’
‘She is not of that type,’ Moody said. ‘She has full faith in me.’
‘I am sorry,’ Ronald apologized. ‘When I get bored, I change partners. It makes life interesting. Anyway – I’ll expect you to drop in on me. We’ll change the world.’,br> Next day the telephonic conversation between Moody and Grump was the media headline with speculation on what was discussed. No one will guess the truth. (to be contd …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Tejas Light Combat Aircraft to debut at the 2017 Republic Day parade

Many of the Trump hats are not made in America but in China, Vietnam and Bangladesh

Chinese firm to invest over Rs 1300 crore in Toto rickshaw manufacture in Howrah


Didi visualizes industrial revival via nalen gur (satire)

Lord Shiva and the sight of potbellied policemen (satire)

In the wonderland of health drinks


Shah Rukh Khan's movie Raees to release in Dubai on January 25

James Cameron plans to resurrect his Terminator franchise in 2019

Bollywood actress Vidya Balan wants more power to women in 2017


ISIS destroys portions of Roman amphitheatre in the ancient city of Palmyra

Kim Jong-Un plans to send a message to Donald Trump by launching a missile

Bomb blast in a vegetable market in Parachinar kills at least 20

Moody in the world of pickpockets and beggars (satire)

Moody had a mission in life – to cleanse society of all evils. He wanted a clean society – clean in all sense right from their toiletry habits to dirtying the pure waters of the Ganga to everything that is black.
The color black signifies all that is bad right from black magic to black money and black market.
The buzzing of the phone brought him back to reality.
It was Ronald Grump on the line.
‘Hi reformist,’ Grump said, ‘how was your New Year Eve?’
‘I beg your pardon,’ Moody cleared his throat, ‘New Year Eve is a western concept, to me it is just one evening like any other evening. Why should there be anything special for that?’

Ronald Grump gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I heard you have tied yourself into knots over your sudden decision to ban notes. Your people are not happy.’
‘They do not realize the amount of thought that had gone into arriving at that decision,’ Moody explained. ‘It was not only to stop corruption in all walks of life but also to plug the loopholes of those who create and store black money.’
‘I believe that you have put a whole lot of people out of business.’
‘Certainly not,’ Moody did not agree. ‘Shopkeepers are shifting over to cashless schemes and embracing e-wallets and debit cards.’
Ronald gave another hearty laugh.
‘My dear reformist – have you not put pickpockets out of business? And the beggars? If there is no loose cash, how will they survive?’
It was now Moody’s turn to laugh.
‘You must understand – the pickpockets and beggars are out of business, I agree. But that is a passing phase. Once they get trained in some trade, they will get regular employment.’
‘What trades?’
‘My cabinet is working out the details,’ Moody was not one to be hurried. ‘I am creating a new Ministry – the Ministry of Pickpockets & Beggars. It will carry out a census and keep a count of all PP & Bs and, each of them will get a one-time grant of Rs 1000 as a goodwill gesture.’
Ronald Grump laughed.
‘You mean the pickpockets and beggars will have a change of heart and mend their ways with that?’
‘Yes, I am certain they will.’
‘And – what is your timeframe?’ Ronald Grump was curious.
‘Once I make a start, everything will fall in place, as it has for notebandi,’ Moody replied. ‘Rome was not built in a day.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Bhitarkanika National Park in Odisha unable to attract foreign tourists

Alert Uber cab driver in California saves a 16-year-old girl from pimps

China to ban trade and processing of all domestic ivory by end 2017


Didi in jitters – keeps flying in and out of her city (satire)

Lord Shiva wants winter favorites, Durga raises her hands (satire)

Moody gets a call from Ronald Grump (satire)


Woman beheaded in Afghanistan for entering a city without her husband

Killer in Santa Claus costume kills 39 in New Year Eve party in Istanbul

Two suicide bombers kill at least 27 in Baghdad market


2016 - the year of biopics in Bollywood with cricketers ruling

Pop superstar George Michael (53) dies of suspected of heart failure

Carrie Fisher of Star Wars fame stops breathing on board a non-stop London-Los Angeles flight

Moody in silent mode over black money (satire)

The ringing of the phone startled Moody. It was Tressa May on the line – she loves the saree - an Indian attire. So, she loves Indians.
‘My dear fellow, I hear that you have lost your sound box. Is it true?’ she asked.
‘Not really,’ Moody spoke softly. ‘It was a passing phase.’
‘Did it have any link to black money? Don’t get me wrong – but, have you bitten off more than you can chew?’
‘No, nothing of the sort. Black money is not a problem. I have stopped all avenues of generating the evil. I have plugged all loopholes.’

‘I see,’ Tressa May lowered her voice. ‘I read in the media that your people are not happy. Business is in the doldrums. How will your vison take shape?’
‘I think you are misinformed,’ Moody was calm as cucumber. ‘I don’t get rattled easily.’
‘I knew as much,’ Tressa said. ‘I have heard you speak. You are a fine orator. Your decibel levels are fantastic.’
‘I have come up from the ranks,’ Moody said. ‘You know I used to sell tea. And, unless you raise your voice, you just cannot survive as a tea seller.’
‘Yes. I have heard about your humble beginnings. It’s all about selling tea clad in half pants.’
‘And with the fifty six inch chest. That is my trademark.’
‘Then why did you maintain such a silence? I know silence is golden but, it depends on the situation. When the opposition bays for your blood, you must growl if not bark.’
‘My dear lady,’ Moody said. ‘The silence was forced upon me.’
‘Any blackmail in the background?’
‘No, no – nothing black can tarnish my image. I have a clean slate.’
‘Then why did you go on the silent mode?’
‘It was black of another kind – related to coal. It is difficult to explain.’
‘Have a try,’ Tressa coaxed him.
‘It was all because of Baba Someday and his Pat & Jolie outfit.’
‘You mean the Yoga guru? He tripped you?’
‘Yes. I had a toothache and he wanted me to try out his latest toothpaste. I paid the price. It was a coal based affair and left a black mark on my teeth. So, I had to keep my mouth closed.’ (to be contd …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Squirrels of Seattle, Boston and Toronto are stealing Christmas light bulbs

Petrol tanker crashes into other vehicles in Kenya - leaves at least 30 dead

Qantas to fly non-stop from Perth to London in 17 and a half hours


Moody and the half pant brigade (satire)

Lord Shiva cracks jokes and Durga fries samosas (satire)

Didi sharpens her weapons to conquer the Hindi belt (satire)


AR Rahman contender for Oscar nomination for Pele: Birth of a Legend

Julia Roberts of 'Pretty Woman' fame to star in her first TV series

Meryl Streep creates history with her 30th Golden Globes nomination


Suicide bomber kills at least 49 people in a military camp in Aden

US estimates that active ISIS fighters in Iraq and Syria have dropped considerably

Syrian forces shoot dead 82 Aleppo civilians in their homes

Moody gets a call from Ronald Grump (satire)

Moody, like any blacksmith, loves to strike when the iron is hot - striking has always been his strength. After the well planned and executed surgical strike, he went ahead with his black money strike. Black money is a subject that everyone loves to talk about. And black money when added to Swiss banks make for a heady cocktail.
Of course, Moody himself shies away from cocktails and no one knows for certain whether he has ever tasted the harmless mocktails.
The ringing of the hotline brought Moody back to reality. It was the new Uncle Sam better known as Ronald Grump – a man who is unpredictable.

‘Namaste Ronald-ji,’ Moody greeted him.
‘What’s that you said just now?’ Ronald asked.
‘It is our way of salutation,’ Moody explained. ‘A welcome message Ronald-ji.’
‘My name is Ronald, Ronny for short,’ Ronald grunted. ‘I hear you have taken a very bold step in a hurry and have fallen in a pit. It does not help your image. Your people are still one century behind us and you want to overtake us.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Moody replied. ‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours.’
‘That is why you have to hammer home the message about cleanliness, build toilets, clean your rivers, is it? Look buddy, your priorities are confused.’
‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours. We invented the flying machine much before you did. It was the flying chariot - Ravana used it to kidnap Sita.’
Ronald gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know all that. You invented the zero, you invented yoga, you invented the snake charmers and you have hundreds of Godmen who perform miracles. Wake up man, there is more to living than is revealed in your philosophies.’
‘OK,’ Moody replied. ‘What is it you want?’
‘I want you to know that I talked with your pal the other day. It was a pleasant surprise. He is such a nice man. I wonder why you can’t get along with him.’
‘I don’t understand who you are talking about,’ Moody murmured.
‘Your neighbor,’ Ronald laughed. ‘Both of you were buddies, you exchanged gifts and you even dropped in on him one day, unannounced. And – all of a sudden you don’t want to talk with him! What’s the problem?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Make in Odisha conclave attracts investment of more than Rs 22000 crore on first day

Guwahati airport could become a major airline hub and gateway to the Southeast Asia

Patna zoo adds Chyawanprash to its menu to protect chimpanzees from cold


Lord Shiva cracks jokes and Durga fries samosas (satire)

Moody hates black money and strikes at midnight (satire)

Didi sharpens her weapons to conquer the Hindi belt (satire)


Ohio student stabs people with a butcher knife before being shot dead

Ukraine plans missile tests, Russia responds by sending warships to the Black Sea

London Police deputes anti-terrorism patrol units under Operation Servator


Sir Roger Moore says he could play James Bond once again

President Putin grants Russian citizenship to Hollywood star Steven Seagal

US President Barack Obama presents Medal of Freedom to Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, Robert De Niro, Diana Ross and Bill Gates

Moody hopes Khajuraho will win over the new Uncle Sam (satire)

Moody was confronted with a major worry and the furrows on his forehead displayed his anxiety. He wanted to cozy up to the new Uncle Sam and, for that, he had to present him with a gift to strengthen the bond. He, therefore, rang up Baba Someday.
‘Baba-ji,’ Moody said. ‘Can you suggest a suitable gift for Uncle Sam?’
‘That would mean a lot of study,’ Baba replied. ‘Actually, I don’t have that much spare time. I am busy setting up a special unit to prepare ayurvedic instant noodles. I am determined to drive out all foreign competition from the lives of Indians.’
‘I rely on your judgment, which is why I contacted you first.’
‘I am sorry to disappoint you.’

So Moody contacted Jet Lee – another of his trusted men. He also could have been a great help. But – he was in a quandary about the next IPL. It is all about bright dazzling cricket and requires plenty of organizing and advance planning.
Then Moody tried Sue Sharma. But - she was in hospital.
Moody missed her presence – she would have been a great help in this problem since it was all about the American Dream. Not for the Americans of America but for Indians who longed to become Americans in America.
Moody had expected Clean Ton to win. That would have ensured a sort of continuity in the link already created. But, when the results went against her, Moody realized that he would have to begin all over again.
That is when he was stumped.
Being a true Indian, he believed in the moral that to have a friend in need when you want him most, you have to give him a gift when you meet him for the first time. So far, he had followed that policy and had been rewarded - best example was the Uncle Sam who was on his way out.
Moody had presented him with a statue of Hanuman and a copy of the Gita.
After that Uncle Sam literally worshipped the ground that Moody walked on and had accepted an invitation to come to attend the Republic Day program in a city where air pollution from smog was always a major irritant.
Now – what could Moody gift to the new Uncle Sam to win him over?
From what he had heard – this man was more of a business man and less of a politician. Moody himself hailed from that part of the country which is known to be the haunt of businessmen.
Suddenly his eyes lit up – Khajuraho was the answer. Yes – Khajuraho would keep the new Uncle Sam fascinated. It was all about Indian art of yore and he could commission an artist to paint the scenes of Khajuraho on the ceiling and walls of his Tower. (to be continued…)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

President Pranab Mukherjee to be present for Vikramshila Mahotsav

Baliyatra fair on the banks of the Mahanadi sees over one lakh visitors on opening day

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin to bury the hatchet and work together to fight terrorism


Lord Shiva and long ATM queues - bullock carts and ATM don't gel (satire)

Moody fires cannons to eliminate mosquitoes (satire)

Fuchka Festival in Kolkata and selfies (satire)


Spanish police arrest two suspected ISIS terrorists in Barcelona and Madrid

At least 52 killed and more than 100 injured in a bomb blast at a remote Sufi shrine in Pakistan

Joint action by RFA, Royal Navy and US Coast Guard nets huge haul of cocaine from the sea


La La Land to have its Indian premiere at the Jio MAMI Film Club

Jackie Chan gets an Oscar after a 56-year career

Spider-Man: Homecoming will see Michael Keaton as Spider-Man's main adversary Vulture

Moody hates black money and strikes at midnight (satire)

Moody hates black, especially if it is related to money. This black money is more slippery than an eel dipped in oil. When he first said that he would unearth all the back money stashed away in foreign locations, people laughed.
One of his ardent followers Baba Someday kept reminding him about the black money and, Moody finally decided to act. He confided in his colleague Jet Lee and, together, they drew up the strike plan – it was the midnight strike.

‘I hate anything that is black including blackberries,’ Moody was frank. ‘My beard is white, my jacket is white, and my trousers are white.’
Baba Someday shifted uneasily in his chair. His beard was jet black!
Jet Lee noticed Baba’s discomfort and came to his rescue.
‘Moody-ji – all blacks are not bad. Especially the hair dyes that make one look younger. The jhakas look as is shown in one of the ads.’
Just then Sue Sharma entered.
‘How did Tressa May enjoy the trip?’ Moody asked.
‘She is fascinated by our sarees,’ Sue replied.
‘Did you broach the subject of making them in India under our Make In India scheme?’
‘I talked to her team,’ Sue said. ‘They have made a note of it and will come back to us.’
‘What about the new Uncle Sam? I have already wished him on his victory. He loves us. That’s why he adapted our famous slogan for his successful campaign.’
‘Yes. It is a catchy slogan and strikes the right chord.’
Moody now looked at Jet Lee.
‘Talking about strikes - what about our black money campaign?’
‘I have studied the subject and feel the time is ripe to carry out our plan. We must take everyone by surprise. It will become the new talking point and will drive irritating subjects like surgical strikes out of focus.’
Sue Sharma cleared her throat and coughed.
‘Are you not well?’ Moody enquired.
‘It is the effect of air pollution and smog,’ she replied.
At this moment Nitty Gadcurry came in.
‘I will out an end to smog,’ he said. ‘I want to stop plying of all vehicles on the roads during the day. People will have to go in for alternate modes of transport.’
‘You mean cycling or walking?’ Baba wanted to know.
‘No. They’ll commute by either air or by water. I have talked to a few parties who are keen to start chopper shuttle service. And also run steamers on the Yamuna.’
‘But – if you stop smog what will happen to the new unit of Pat and Jolie that has started to manufacture gas masks and air purifiers?’
‘We will export them,’ Jet Lee said. ‘Nothing will go waste.’
‘Good,’ Moody was relaxed. ‘Our aim is to tackle black money. Let us launch our strike.’ (to be continued ..)


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Some more interesting links -

British Prime Minister Theresa May's visit to India - mango and visa on the agenda

Air India Express to provide improved air connectivity between Kolkata and Singapore

Mamata Banerjee to visit the United States in 2017 to woo industries


Lord Shiva’s views on Kalighat and marriages (satire)

Moody and the half pant brigade (satire)

Didi’s idea - deflate tyres to punish unruly drivers (satire)


Iraq special forces advanced into Mosul while ISIS militants killed 20

British police have foiled 12 terror plots against Britain in the last three years

No-fly zones to be imposed over jails to prevent drones from being used to smuggle drugs into prisons


Michael Fassbender says no to next James Bond - will a woman take over?

Second trailer of Wonder Woman released- will be in the cinemas in July 2017

Kolkata International Film Festival (KIFF) begins 11 November

Moody and the half pant brigade (satire)

Moody was staring at a black and white snapshot of himself as a young man selling chai - he wore shorts in those days and felt comfortable in them. Such attires allowed a lot of freedom in movement and, when the air got hot and stifling, especially in the summer months, these half pants were indispensable.
And, all of a sudden, the decision came from above that half pants will make way for full pants.

Suddenly his hot line rang – it was Bee Rack O’Vama.
‘Hi man,’ he began, ‘how are your boundaries? Have you started to mend the fences?’
‘Mending fences is a continuous process,’ Moody replied.
‘I know,’ Bee Rack sighed. ‘I have Vladdy Putty in my hair. He is unpredictable – just like your Naa Buzz. And – I just cannot wish him away. Anyway – let us talk on something more interesting.’
‘Like Diwali?’
‘Yes. I celebrated it in my office. It shows how close we are, doesn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then why don’t you revolt?’
‘Why should I?’
‘Because your bosses are insisting that you wear full pants when I know that you love half pants.’
Moody gave a dry laugh.
‘It is not easy,’ he said. ‘Half pants were OK so long as we remained in the background. But – with the global recognition that we are getting, we have to change tracks.’
‘Hey,’ O’Vama laughed. ‘Half pants look so cute. Bermuda shorts are a craze even in your country. City folks in cars go about in bermudas and capris. Then why did you switch over to long ones?’
‘It is a decision that I cannot question or overrule,’ Moody mumbled.
‘I believe it has got something to do with promoting khadi,’ Bee Rack said. ‘Anyway – hope your better half will return soon from her pilgrimage. My wife wanted to meet her.’
‘That will have to wait,’ Moody said. ‘She lives in her world, I live in mine.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Pine needles to produce electricity in Uttarakhand

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Fuchka Festival in Kolkata and selfies (satire)

Moody fires cannons to eliminate mosquitoes (satire)

Lord Shiva’s Durga puja is about selfish people and selfies (satire)


Carey Mulligan leaves teddy bears outside gates of 10 Downing Street to protest attacks on Aleppo

Battle to liberate Mosul rages and ISIS fighters flee the city dressed as women

Group clashes in prisons in Brazil kill at least 18 inmates


The Guardians of the Galaxy 2 trailer released

Trailer of xXx: Return of Xander Cage starring Deepika Padukone launched in four Indian languages

Jackie Chan's Kung Fu Yoga to release on 28th January 2017

Moody not happy with the outcome of the meeting (satire)

Moody was in a serious closed door meeting with his lieutenants. Present were Sue Sharma, Jet Lee, Pyari Kar, Baba Someday, Banka Nadoo, Rajanna King and others.
His agenda was bricks, tons of them including brickbats and he was not happy with the outcome of the meeting.
‘What did I do wrong?’ Moody asked.
‘You just cannot do anything wrong,’ Sue Sharma assured him.
‘Then why did Vlady Putty not scold Na Buzz?’
‘But, he did agree that our neighbors are not following procedures,’ Jet Lee said.

‘I wanted Putty to do much more,’ Moody sighed. ‘I had boosted him sky high when I said that one old friend is an asset and much more than ten new friends.’
‘He did appreciate that,’ Sue Sharma said. ‘I was watching him and I saw him smile.’
‘I know, I also saw that,’ Moody went on. ‘Just to keep him happy, I made him and the others wear my trademark jacket – and they gladly did that.’
‘That was a master stroke,’ Pyari Kar added. ‘It was a memorable photo ops.’
‘I even signed the contract with Putty to buy so many choppers from him,’ Moody said. ‘I wanted him to chide Na Buzz for all the tricks he is playing. His cattle roam into my house, his pigeons fly into my territory. But – Putty found nothing wrong.’
‘Neither did Jean Ping,’ Banka Nadoo complained. ‘He also sidestepped the issue. And we were hoping that he would take our side.’
‘He is probably not pleased with our policy of banning his items this Diwali,’ Baba Someday had his say. ‘He must realize that our products must get a market. I have asked my Pat & Jolie setup to make clay lamps. I will sell them along with a bottle of oil – it will come free. I want my people to light these lamps. Diwali is a festival of lamps, not of flickering bulbs.’
When the world leaders had gathered at the beachside venue to discuss serious matters, Moody was happy. When they agreed to wear jackets like him, he was still more happy. And, when Moody mentioned that an old friend was always an asset compared to ten new friends, and Vlady Putty smiled, Moody’s joys knew no bounds.
But it did not end the way he wanted it to – it left a bad taste in his mouth. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody fires cannons to eliminate mosquitoes (satire)

Moody was basking in the glory of surgical strikes. He had proved to the world at large that his boast of a 56-inch chest was no figment of imagination. He could deliver the goods when required. But – all of a sudden, a couple of unwanted visitors dropped in and he had to use cannons to fight off some measly mosquitoes.
The first man to congratulate him on his achievement was Vladdy Putty.
‘I have loved every moment of your 58-hour episode to eliminate a couple of mosquitoes,’ he said. ‘How many rounds of ammunition have you used up?’
‘Actually my man Pyari Kar will know the exact figures,’ Moody said. ‘And – it was a 57-hour battle, not 58.’ Moody corrected. He wanted to put the records straight.
‘Battle?’ Vladdy Putty was surprised.
‘Of course,’ Moody said. ‘They had holed up in a seven-storied building and it had sixty rooms and sixty bathrooms. It took time to locate them without damaging the items in the rooms. My men have done a wonderful job.’

After Vladdy Putty finished, Angel Miracle came on the line.
‘Congratulations on winning yet another round,’ she complimented Moody. ‘But why did it take so long? Don’t you think that 57-hours was a bit too long to eliminate only two miscreants?’
‘It was a tricky job,’ Moody explained. ‘We had to keep the building surrounded. Time was no problem because it was a sort of practical training for my boys. They have to always be battle ready.’
‘I believe that you had choppers circling overhead?’
‘Yes. We wanted to maintain continuous surveillance. We did not want them to slip away.’
‘But – your expert fighters could have taken the aerial route and dropped from the skies. They could have entered from the roof or through the windows.’
‘They did what was best,’ Moody said. ‘My man Pyari Kar was following their moves.’
‘If you ask me, I would have finished the elimination within a few hours.’
Once Angel Miracle finished, there was Tressa May on the line.
‘You have done a great job,’ she said. ‘But – do you not use tear gas? If I had to do it my way, I would have lobbed in a couple of tear gas shells. That would have brought them out in the open faster.’
‘Actually we tried to starve them,’ Moody explained. ‘We knew they had brought dry food with them and once that finished, they would have to come out.’
‘But, I believe that there was a canteen on the topmost floor. Then how would they starve?’
Moody could feel his overseas friends laughing behind his back.
They had lauded his surgical strikes but could not swallow the fact that it took 57-hours to eliminate two mosquitoes. And, hundreds of bullets were spent in the process as well as manpower plus expenses related to diesel for continuous chopper and drone operations. (to be continued …)


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Moody becomes moody after surgical strike (satire)

Moody had got the news about the surgical strikes and elimination of a pack of nuisance – they kept infiltrating into his house and destroyed his garden. He wanted to erect a wall and demarcate the boundary because the infiltrators gave the excuse that their literacy was low and since there is no visible boundary, their flocks keep making mistakes.
Suddenly the hot line rang – it was Clean Ton, a woman leader who could mean a lot.
‘Yes,’ Moody picked up the receiver.
‘How did you hit upon the idea?’ she asked.
‘What idea?’
‘This surgical strike,’ Clean Ton said. ‘I thought it was about some surgical operation on a serious patient.’
‘Well – it was one such operation done on the sly, in the dark.’

‘You mean there was no light in the Operation Theater?’
‘No, it was after midnight.’
‘You mean an operation in the dark?’
‘Sort of,’ Moody said. ‘Outsiders had entered my area. They kept entering on some pretext or the other. Once it was about chasing honey bees. Then there was the case of coming for their cattle that had strayed into my territory.’
‘I see,’ Clean Ton lowered her voice. ‘I think you are the fittest man for the job I have in mind. Your experience would be an asset to me.’
‘What do you have in mind?’ Moody asked.
‘I want you to eliminate the reign of terror in the Middle East. I am determined to rid the world of the mess and, with the expertise that you have gained, I feel it would be a cakewalk for you. I have discussed it with Angel Miracle and Tressa May – both of them agree with me.’
Moody gulped. He had eliminated infiltrators from his backyard but taking it to a global level would be tough, especially the type of people who were behind the terror outfits.
‘I can’t give any guarantee,’ Moody said.
Clean Ton laughed.
‘You have a 56-inch chest, this work would be easy for you. Of course, they have teams of suicide bombers. You will have to neutralize them first.’
Clean Ton rang off and Moody called in his associates Sue Sharma, Pyari Kar and Rajanna King. They came in and Pyari Kar had three files on boundary walls – one was barbed wire, second was brick and mortar and the third was laser wall.
‘Just now Clean Ton had rung up,’ Moody said. ‘She is impressed with our surgical strike and wants us to replicate it in the Middle East to eliminate you-know-who.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody in deep trouble with river waters (satire)

Moody was jotting down points for his next monthly speech over the radio. He wanted to do so many things for the poor, especially ensuring lakhs and lakhs of toilets dotting the landscape. But, the sequence of events was taking him away from his objectives. There was the second infiltration and loss of several lives.
And, to add to that, he was having trouble with the river waters.
He was keen to clean the Ganges and create a Japan-like city on its banks. He longed to see steamers plying on the river carrying people from one place to another. He wanted water transport to share the burden of traffic. But, work on it was progressing too slowly. It could take another couple of centuries.
Then there was another river whose waters were shared by neighboring states. Here also there was continuous bickering about who will get how much water.

And, the latest river was one that originated in another country and, after passing through his own territory, emptied itself in a third country. This river was more important than the other two because it was a strategic option. If properly exploited, it could pay rich dividends.
As Moody was pondering over his line of action, the hotline rang. It was his really good friend Bee Rack O’Vama.
‘Hey man,’ he said. ‘What is this I hear? You want to block water supply to Na Buzz who is supposed to be your buddy?’
Moody gulped.
‘Why should I do that?’ he replied like a true leader. Answer awkward questions by posing a counter question. ‘Water is God’s gift and I cannot deny that to even my worst enemy.’
‘Worst enemy?’ Bee Rack was surprised. ‘I thought that you were real buddies. You had exchanged gifts.’
‘That is history,’ Moody sighed.
‘Why?’
‘He wanted something that I could not give.’
‘And – what was that?’
‘A crate of Alphonso mangoes. This year the quality of mangoes was bad so I could not agree. That made him angry.’
‘But don’t you think that waging a war over water is unbecoming of a man who boasted of his 56-inch-chest?’ Bee Rack asked.
Moody did not have a ready reply.
Suddenly the door to his office opened and Uma-ji entered. There were a number of files in her hand all marked Namami Gange. Behind her came the defense department people and external affairs team. Their files read Indus. And then there were others with files marked Cauvery and Teesta.
All the rivers were in spate and poor Moody was caught in the whirlpool. (to be continued …)


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Moody is off mood – Na Buzz had fooled him again (satire)

Moody, like anybody else, wanted to enjoy his birthday. He wanted it to be a quiet affair but the media did not give him any elbow space. With nothing to talk about, they hit up on the plan to get him some sort of international recognition – one of them said: ‘let us keep count of people who wished him on his birthday.’
Anyway, Moody left it all to his PR men – they knew best how to project him where he would get talked about and benefit the most.
But – the phone call from his friend Bee Rack O’Vama shook him out of his slumber.
‘What man,’ Bee Rack sighed. ‘How can your security be so slack? How could they not know about the infiltrators?’
‘They had come dressed in our uniforms,’ Moody explained. ‘And – their hair was cropped like our men!’
Bee Rack sighed again.

‘You are planning to go to Mars but you don’t have any mechanism to identify the original from a duplicate!’ Bee Rack said. ‘Of course your movies are full of duplicates. But you must design some mechanism to prevent such attacks.’
‘It is all a fault of one of my neighbors.’
‘You mean the neighbor on whom you dropped in all of a sudden on his birthday?’
‘Yes. I had dropped in on him on his birthday to wish him and, on my birthday, his people kill my men!!’
Bee Rack disconnected the phone and Moody immediately convened a high level meeting with Pyari Kar, Rajanna King and Sue Sharma – they were all involved in looking after the defense aspects and foreign affairs.
‘How did it happen?’ he shot the question.
‘They took us by surprise,’ Pyari Kar replied. ‘It was early morning and the time of the day when the eyelids get heavy and it is difficult to keep them open.’
‘Moreover, they were dressed just like our own men,’ Rajanna King added.
‘Na Buzz has fooled us again,’ Sue Sharma ground her teeth in anger. ‘He is a slippery character and is buzzing all around the world and talking too much about the ‘K’ word at every forum.’
‘Not just slippery but more slippery than a snake dipped in oil,’ Moody added. ‘He will say something today and, do a ninety degree turn the next day. I never expected such behavior from him. I had believed him to be a true friend.’
‘We must teach him a lesson,’ Pyari Kar said. ‘We could do something similar to what they have done. The latest incident was nothing short of a betrayal. Just imagine an attack at dawn that killed a whole lot of innocent soldiers.'
‘I am hurt,’ Moody stared into the distance. ‘How could a leader who had exchanged gifts when we met for the first time do this to me?’
Just then his phone rang – it was Tressa May.
‘What is this I hear?’ she shrieked. ‘How could anyone fool you? Last time it was a group of men from across your border who were chasing runaway cows and entered your air base. What is it this time?’
‘I heard they were chasing some birds and lost their way,’ Moody replied. (to be continued …)


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Moody learns about honey traps (satire)

Even after being in office for more than two years, Moody still finds himself as helpless as a fish out of the water. He is now admired all over the world as a leader who can make things happen and the world listens to him when he talks.
But – he appears to have failed in his attempts to woo over one of his neighbors. He began with exchange of gifts and followed it up with a sudden visit. Unfortunately, his efforts have not borne any fruit.
Suddenly his hot line rang. It was his friend Bee Rack O’Vama.
‘Hi,’ he greeted Moody. ‘I hear you want Na Buzz to dance to your tune.’
‘I am a great dance master,’ Moody said. ‘I can do the garba and bhangra and the kathak. Wherever I go, I don their dresses and make them dance to my tunes. I have mastered the art. But – I wonder why I am unable to get Na Buzz fall in line.’
‘You must cultivate the art of honey traps,’ Bee Rack said. They will always pay dividends.’

‘Honey traps?’ Moody was surprised. ‘Actually, honey is a different matter altogether. My trusted friend Baba Someday is a master in extracting honey from unwilling bees – he makes the world’s best honey.’
‘Honey trap has no relation with bees.’
‘Then?’
‘It is a method to influence stubborn people, especially politicians,’ Bee Rack explained. ‘Those who set the traps are experts and level of satisfaction is of a very high order.’
‘I’ll ask my men to get more information on this.’
‘I think Emma Melanie could help you out,’ Bee Rack said. ‘She will know some of the tricks. A good student of honey trap must be a good actor and you have quite a few actors in your fold.’
Bee Rack hung up and Moody asked his secretary to send in Pyari Kar, Sue Sharma, Ranee-ji and Emma Melanie.
Since his worries were centered on Na Buzz, he wanted his foreign team for brainstorming. He must recreate a sense of bonhomie with his hard-to-get neighbor. And, if a suitable honey trap could be set up to snare him, it would solve plenty of problems.
When they were all seated, Moody looked up.
‘Have you heard about honey traps?’ he asked.
His audience squirmed uneasily in their seats.
‘If you have not heard then search and get the information,’ Moody said. ‘Then let us plan to set a honey trap.’ Suddenly Baba Someday burst into the room – perspiration glistening on his body.
‘This is not right Moody-ji,’ he complained. ‘You are discussing honey and have forgotten me who is master in all aspects of honey from honey bees to honeymoon.’
‘We are discussing honey traps,’ Moody said with a straight face.
‘What is that?’
‘Yes. That is what we are trying to find out.’ (to be continued …)


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Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Moody was all praises for the participants of the 2016 Rio Olympics but was saddened at the lack of gold medals – gold is the accepted recognition and when tiny nondescript countries can boast of a crop of gold, such is not the case with Moody’s land of several billion.
Moody therefore called in his team of specialists – Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Uma-ji, Ranee-ji, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Emma Melaney, Pro Cash, Banka Nadoo and Rum Mudda. Each of them was a gem and could contribute to the cause.
‘Koel-ji,’ Moody looked towards Vee Jay Koel who had a close association with the Olympics team in Rio. ‘You have seen the Olympics from very close quarters. What is your impression? Why could others bag so many gold but not us?’ ‘It is their attitude,’ Koel-ji said. ‘They train from the KG stage – and aim for the gold.’
‘Why can’t we do it here?’ Moody asked.
‘Who said we can’t?’ Koel retorted.
‘Then let us do it,’ Moody said. ‘All the heads are here today and we can work out a strategy.’
‘We could concentrate on swimming,’ Koel-ji said. ‘Our children swim to their schools and there is a cry to build bridges to cross the rivers. I think we should not do that.’
‘Nonsense,’ Moody said. ‘We must look after their welfare. They are our assets.’
‘I know,’ Koel-ji smiled. ‘We will give them swimwear and encourage them to swim to school. Give award to kids who prove their stamina.’

Jet Lee now cleared his throat.
‘Actually, here our farmers toil in the fields to grow crops – but, that does not get us any gold,’ he said. ‘We must train them to always have the concept of gold in front of their eyes.’
‘I can help in this respect,’ Baba Someday intervened.
‘Let us hear your idea,’ Moody glanced towards the shiny black beard of the Baba.
‘I can rename the fertilizers as Gold fertilizers,’ he said. ‘And my ad pitch for it would be – use bags of Gold to bag Olympics Gold.’
It was now the turn of Pro Cash to have his say. He was the man responsible to develop human resources.
‘In my opinion, we have a brilliant pool of gold medalists who break their heads to unearth IT solutions,’ Pro Cash said. ‘They are in great demand abroad. It is difficult for them to divert their attention to Olympics Gold.’ Moody laughed.
‘Exceptions can always emerge,’ he said. ‘There are engineers who are stars in cricket. Then why can’t a gold medalist in computers bag a gold in shooting? That does not require physical strength like in boxing or wrestling or in gymnastics or in marathon running.’
Pro Cash gulped.
‘I think we can take inspiration from some famous songs,’ Emma Melaney said. ‘Songs like ‘mera dharti sona ugle, ugle heera moti …’
‘Let me make it clear,’ Moody spoke again. ‘We must reverse the trend. I want our sportspersons to bag golds – one for each state.’(to be continued …)


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Moody and the cow syndrome (satire)

It had been taught in schools that the cow is a sacred animal – it gives milk and its solid and liquid wastes have tremendous market value. The solid waste known also as gobar is used to produce electricity to bring light to many villages.
Moody was worried because a certain of people were using the cow to settle scores and it was not a good trend. It was sending the wrong signals to the outside world and he wanted to check that.
Suddenly his phone rang. It was his good friend Vladdy Putty.
‘Your national animal is the tiger, is it not?’ he asked.
‘Yes. Everyone knows it. We have launched a program to save the tiger.’
‘And – I believe that one of your political parties have the tiger as an emblem?’
‘Yes. That also is true. Only – it does not roar any more, neither does it bite.’
‘I see,’ Putty lowered his voice. ‘I hear you want to change your national animal and go on for some other animal.’ Moody laughed.
‘Why should we?’ he asked. ‘The tiger remains our national animal.’
‘What about the cow?’
‘Well – there is a nursery rhyme about the cow jumping over the Moon. Do you mean that or do you mean our Moon launch plans.’
‘Are you interested in cowsheds? We could consider a joint venture under your Make in India category.’
‘Thanks for the offer. We don’t want foreign interference in our goshalas.’

Putty disconnected and, immediately, Tressa May came on the line. She was excited.
‘My dear fellow,’ she began. ‘I have come to know that you have patented the DD Fuel?’
‘DD fuel?’ Moody blinked.
‘Yes – the Dry Dung fuel,’ Tressa said. ‘A modified version of the cow dung cake that is a popular fuel for many. Gems Pond has informed that it is being made in a secret location in the Himalayas under the guidance of one Baba Someday.’
Moody scratched his head. Baba was always up to some thing or the other. And – he always springing surprises. If Gems Pond knew about it, why did Baba not keep him in the loop?
‘I think I will discuss this matter with you in person,’ Moody said and hung up. (to be continued …)


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Lord Shiva is a confused man of Mount Kailash (satire)

Lord Shiva, sitting in Mount Kailash, was a confused individual. He had his own worries about getting a new set of clothes but tigers were at a premium, as were their skins. He was, therefore, forced to don imitation tiger skins.
Durga did not miss the signs. She knew that the Lord was annoyed. So, she sidled up to him, humming a popular tune under her breath.
Lord Shiva looked up and moved aside to make room for her to sit down.
‘What’s biting you now?’ Durga asked.
‘I am confused,’ he said.
‘We all are,’ Durga said. ‘Unless there is confusion, no one gets noticed.’
‘Tell me – our friend Moody is inviting foreigners to come here and set up business. His buzzword is ‘Make in India’, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘And – side by side, the Pat & Jolie outfit of Baba Someday is promoting his own products. He says foreign goods are no good, go for my brands. He started with honey and is now rolling in money. His beard has got a new shine.’

‘He is doing it for charity,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘At least that is what he keeps harping on in each of his advertisements.’
‘He is making it clear that he is not benefiting at all. He is doing it for a good a noble cause – to promote homemade products.’
‘Then there is that woman Ranee-ji – she wants women to wear khadi sarees. Tell me – how many women wear sarees today. All I see are girls and women in jeans and skirts. Some even in swim suits. That has become today’s dress code.’
‘Don’t lose your sleep over such trifles. All of them are right in their own ways,’ Durga said.
‘You mean the British will come here and weave khadi, make designer clothes out of that and sell them? And, the Swiss will come here to make chocolates and export them?’
‘Very possible,’ Durga said. ‘And – I believe people will come from Zimbabwe to make artificial tiger skins. You will then get a better quality of substitute.’
Lord Shiva did not have a ready answer to that one. (to be continued …)


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