Showing posts with label Hash Budden. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hash Budden. Show all posts

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Moody embraces yoga, his medics could embrace poverty (satire)


The international day of yoga was a feather in the cap of not only Moody but of all his ministers because, at long last, the whole world has realized that in spite of reported starvation deaths, in spite of suicides of farmers, in spite of an uneducated mass who love open air toilets, there is enough reason to rejoice. Yoga has taken the world by storm and Moody has people eating out of his hands.
As he mused over how to expand the new found yoga base, his phone rang. It was Raneeji – the woman who used to be a TV star but who changed tracks in time and is now the minister who looks after education.
‘I have given the matter some thought,’ she said. ‘The world needs education. Yoga does not mean just exercises but each pose has to be understood. And – I have drawn up a list of people who can be sent to educate others.’
‘But – I wanted Baba Someday to do this,’ Moody said. ‘He has experienced people.’
‘I am thinking globally. Woman power is the need of the hour and I have in mind a team of woman yoga experts,’ Ranee-ji replied. ‘Our message must go out to all corners of the world. Everyone needs to appreciate the importance of yoga. My people have created handbooks and video cassettes that we will distribute during teaching sessions.’
‘Good work,’ Moody said. ‘Make it a compulsory part of education. Announce prizes. That sort of incentives will work wonders.’
As he replaced the receiver, his health minister Jaypee Gadda entered with Hash Budden, his earlier health minister. Both were serious.
‘Any problems?’ Moody enquired.
‘Our profession is at peril,’ Gadda murmured. ‘If yoga can cure diabetes, what will the doctors do? And – the nutritionist? They cannot just close down their chambers.’
‘Yes,’ Hash Budden added. ‘To earn the degree, one has to spend money, study, practice dissections with corpses. And - to set up practice they have to invest lakhs of rupees. Yoga will see them on the streets.’
Moody grinned.
‘Don’t panic,’ he assured. ‘I know all the ins and outs. There are many areas other than diabetes where the doctor is indispensable like road accidents, bride burnings and acid attacks. Doctors will never starve.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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HTT-40, India's homegrown basic trainer aircraft, to debut in Aero India 2017

Maithon Dam to be venue for kayaking and canoeing national championships

KVIC brings out Yogasutra, clothes made of khadi for yoga exercises


Moody’s whirlwind trip - five countries in six days (satire)

Didi’s Delhi dreams – from telebhaja to aloo chat (satire)

All about chest size and happy days (satire)


Christina Grimmie shot dead by unidentified gunman in Florida

TE3N first day box office collection of Rs 2.61 crores in India fails to impress

Sonu Nigam opens up on technology and modern day music


Suicide bomb attacks by Taliban kill more than 20 in Afghanistan

Two brothers arrested from Long Island - another possible massacre prevented

Delhi police unearths a kidney transplant racket - arrests kingpin from Kolkata

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Moody wonders why American space research firms are jittery (satire)


They had assembled in the chamber of our good friend Moody – there was Hash Budden who looked after science and technology along with Jet Lee, Nitty Gadcurry, Baba Someday, Sue Sharma and even the ladies Uma-jee and Rane-ji.
Hash Budden was excited because news had come about superiority of our scientists – it seems America space giants wants restrictions to be imposed on our space agencies. Obviously, there was fear that products like Mangalyaan could spell doom for their pet projects related to space exploration.
Hash Budden had the newspaper clipping with him and he handed it to Moody who read it and reached for his intercom.
‘Get me Williams,’ Moody spoke into the intercom.
‘You mean Prince William?’ Moody’s PA asked. ‘He has already left.’
‘I know. I mean the Williams girl from Gujarat,’ Moody said.
His PA scratched his head, unable to pinpoint the individual who the Boss wanted to talk to.
‘Arrey, I want that Williams who had gone to space,’ Moody clarified.
‘Oh, you mean the astronaut Sue Neeta Williams who had come to visit us?’
‘Yes, I want to talk to her. She must be knowing what is brewing in space.’
But Sue Neeta was not readily available – she was in the gym and could not be disturbed.
‘Why are the Americans jittery?’ Moody leaned forward and wanted to know from Hash Budden.
‘They are envious of our low cost satellites and other space items. They feel we will spoil their lucrative business.’
‘I knew this would happen,’ Moody turned to Baba Someday. ‘Our forefathers invented the pushpak rath long before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane. Remember Ravana who kidnapped Sita Mata and flew off to Sri Lanka in his airborne chariot?’
‘Yes,’ Baba Someday stroked his beard and muttered. ‘Not just the flying chariot but we discovered the zero.’
‘And,’ Nitty Gadcurry added. ‘Some of our people have already settled on the Moon.’
‘You mean the Malayalees and the Coorgis?’ Sue Sharma asked.
‘Yes,’ Gadcurry elaborated. ‘There are Malayalees who have set up facilities for remolding of tyres. Then there are the Kamats who have established outlets for idli, and dosa. And our Gujju friends who are ready with their dhoklas.’
Moody looked hard at Gadcurry.
‘How authentic is your information?’ Moody asked.
‘Hundred percent,’ Niity smiled. ‘Baba Someday will vouch for me. He makes regular visits to the Moon to train his boys for our Mars mission.’
‘But then, how is it that the American astronauts who had landed on the Moon did not see these men?’
‘They must have landed on the wrong face of the Moon,’ Hash Budden explained. ‘The Moon like everything else has two faces.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

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Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


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Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)


Moody was, as always, serious and in a thoughtful mood. He had realized that yoga is the be-all and end-all and it can wow the world as it has already done. But, in order to ensure that the memories and euphoria do not vanish, he had to revive interest in this ancient form of art that is unique to our culture.
Yes, no matter what people may say, yoga is an art.
It had been practiced by the sages of yore – and, since doctors were unheard of in the days of Ramayana and Mahabharata, yoga was the only medicine to cure all ills from indigestion to broken arms.
Suddenly the door opened a fraction of an inch and Hash Budden peeped in – he was a doctor by profession and was responsible for looking after various aspects of health. Along with him was Baba Someday – a very busy man who was adept at balancing his interests in both yoga and business.
Moody waved them in.
‘Have you worked out a strategy?’ he wanted to know.
‘We will make it a bigger affair,’ Baba Someday said. ‘My Pat & Jolie will provide all refreshments right from pure milk to crisp salted biscuits and instant noodles.’
‘Good,’ Moody nodded. ‘We want to project our indigenous products to the world and the yoga meet will be an opportunity.’
‘Who knows, someone might want to import them’ Baba Someday said. ‘After all no one can deny the health benefits of Pat & Jolie foodstuffs.’
‘I think we should invite some dignitary to be the Guest of Honor on the occasion,’ Hash Budden suggested. ‘Like we did in the R-Day.’
‘I also was thinking about it,’ Moody said. ‘Any ideas?’
Before Hash Budden could reply, Sue Sharma entered with Jet Lee. Sue Sharma looked to be excited about something.
‘We have a couple of ideas for the Yoga Meet,’ Jet Lee said. ‘If you can spare a few minutes, the lady can get it off her chest.’
‘Go ahead, I am all attention,’ Moody said.
‘I just now got a call from the land of the Eskimos,’ Sue Sharma began. ‘The lady spoke in broken English and wanted to know when you would go to visit them.’
Moody was taken aback.
‘Why should I go to visit them?’ he asked. ‘What can they offer us except polar bear furs or seal skins or penguins? I don’t think any of those would be useful.’
‘Moody-ji,’ Hash Budden intervened. ‘It is a God-sent opportunity we cannot miss.’
‘Please explain.’
‘Why don’t we invite the Eskimos for the yoga meet? Their leader could be the Guest of Honor.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


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Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


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Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Friday, January 22, 2016

Half pant brigade to participate on R-Day (satire)


#rday #makeinindia #halfpant #yoga Another R-day was looming large on the horizon and Moody was wary because his chief guest might find it difficult to have a clear vison of the impressive scenes that would unfold before his eyes. The problem was the fog and poor visibility.
‘How best can we overcome the problem?’ he asked Sue Sharma who was seated with him in his chamber along with Jet Lee and Hash Budden.
‘An exercise of odd-even had managed to reduce the problem,’ Hash Budden said. ‘But – that should not be a major problem because the tableaus would move at a snail’s pace.’
‘We could give him binoculars,’ Sue suggested. ‘That way he need not strain his eyes.’
‘And – the half pant brigade will be an added attraction,’ Moody said. ‘I want to popularize it.’
‘I know, ’Sue Sharma said. ‘There has been criticism from some quarters on this issue.’
‘I am not bothered about that. If people can go around in bermudas and hot pants, then why can’t some of them go around in half pants?’
‘You do have a point there,’ Sue agreed.
‘Moreover the half pant team would twirl their sticks and demonstrate how effective a weapon it can be. It will be a golden tribute to our Make in India concept.’
Jet Lee nodded his approval.
‘I want to take him to Varanasi also,’ Moody said. ‘I want to show him around my dream city that is coming up like its Japanese counterpart. I thought of taking him on our new train. It looks just like a foreign train.’
‘It’ll be a long journey,’ Jet Lee said.
‘Jut an overnight journey,’ Moody brushed off the remarks. ‘It will bring us closer. We can lay the groundwork for some important deals.’
‘That is right,’ Hash Budden sounded serious. ‘What deals do you have in mind?’
‘We have exported the yoga – now it is the turn of the half pant and stick,’ Moody said and reached for a dhokla. ‘I am sure once my guest sees the power of the stick that the half pant brigade can wield, he will take home the idea and introduce it in his country. It will save him money on security.’
The others also reached for their dhoklas – this had become a routine, dhokla on a regular basis along with tea minus sugar and milk. Either dhokla or gathia. They longed for snacks like samosa with tea made of a liberal dose of milk and sugar which gives extra energy. But – they had got used to these changes. (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)

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More than 23 killed in Splendid Hotel, Burkina Faso, by al-Qaeda

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Moody’s skill development program (satire)


Moody had been in saddle for more than one year and he was worried about his bunch of eager beavers who were continuously up to something or the other. His critics were there crouching in every corner, ready to corner him and pull him down but, his oratory powers stopped them in their tracks.
Still, Moody was a worried man. There was a weighty problem on his head.
He looked around at his band of trusted lieutenants and cleared his throat.
‘Hope you have come prepared?’ he asked.
All of them nodded. They dare not say that they were not informed about any agenda. Moody would not like that. So, they just nodded and prepared to brave whatever onslaught comes because no one questioned the leader – he is the Boss and the Boss is always right.
There were the usual bunch of Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Ranee-ji, Uma-ji, Nitty Gadcurry, Hash Budden and Baba Someday. ‘Do you know what I have in my hand?’ Moody asked and waved a sheaf of papers.
There was pin drop silence.
‘It is a weighty issue,’ Moody said.
‘Is our good neighbor playing pranks again?’ Jet Lee wanted to know.
‘No,’ Sue Sharma intervened. ‘He will not dare to do anything. He has got a severe baulking from you-know-who. If he plays mischief, he will not get his fighter plane.’
‘Then?’ Nitty asked no one in particular.
‘I have with me an interesting list,’ Moody said. ‘I want it to be a part of our skill development program. I want your views on it. How should we approach it.’
‘Let us have some more input,’ Jet Lee said. He was a man of finance and depended on inputs.
‘You mentioned about a weighty issue. Is it about the traders? Are they cheating with underweight measures?’ Baba Someday was alert. In his set up in Pat & Jolie, he had installed electronic devices. No manual weighing.
‘No. I think the matter pertains to Hash Budden, the doctor and Baba Someday, the yoga specialist,’ Moody said. ‘They can make useful contribution.’
‘I will certainly do my best,’ Hash Budden replied.
‘So will I,’ Baba wiped his growth of beard and said.
‘This list is about those of you who have put on weight over the last few months and I am disturbed,’ Moody said. ‘It includes the women also,’ and he cast a meaningful glance at Ranee-ji and Uma-ji. ‘I think we must make yoga a habit and not keep it reserved for only the Yoga Day.’
‘I agree with you,’ Baba said. ‘We can meet here every morning and do yoga for an hour.’
‘I want all of you to concentrate on the skill development for weight reduction,’ Moody said. ‘It will pay dividends. We will compile the findings and release a book on ‘Skill Development for weight reduction.’ Ranee-ji can make it compulsory at all levels of education.’ (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva and TV Reality shows (satire)

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)

Bengal’s solution to tackle air pollution (satire)


Goa Carnival Package by Indian Railways - train to leave Mumbai on Feb 5

Walmart surrenders to Amazon, decides to close down 269 stores in the US and Latin America

Mass burning of all cigarettes in Turkmenistan to stamp out smoking


David Bowie succumbs to his 18-month battle against cancer

Kangana Ranaut learns horse riding for her role in ‘Rangoon’

Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan to promote tourism in Bengal


At least seven killed in Jakarta suicide attacks near Starbucks cafe

More than 23 killed in Splendid Hotel, Burkina Faso, by al-Qaeda

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Moody hates to be cowed down by cows (satire)


#cows #gobargas Moody, like everyone else, was fully aware of the importance of cows. He hated to be cowed by cows. But, he was on the horns of the cow dilemma - why did the cow jump over the Moon?
He had, therefore, called a special meeting of people whom he could trust with his life. Prominent among them was Baba Someday, Jet Lee, Hash Budden, Sue Sharma and Nitty Gadcurry.
‘Tell me Baba, why did the cow jump over the Moon? Can a cow really jump that high?’ Moody asked Baba Someday. He, in Moody’s opinion, was an expert on cows.
Baba blinked. He was caught on the wrong foot. He never knew this aspect of the cow. He had been exploiting all the products of the cow. His Pat & Jolie was producing cow milk products. He had also gone in for gobar gas in a big way. He planned to use it to power a future probe to the Red Planet Mars.
But, he had not heard about a cow jumping over the Moon.
‘Are you sure it was a cow?’ he wanted to clarify.
‘Of course,’ Moody said. ‘All the kids know about it. It is in a nursery rhyme and in the school syllabus.’
Baba was stumped.
‘I think it must have been a goat,’ Nitty Gadcurry intervened. ‘They can jump over fences.’
‘Or – sheep,’ Hash Budden suggested. ‘You know – we count sheep jumping over the fence when we are unable to sleep. I have advised many of my patients on this. Counting sheep is good for insomnia.’
Moody glared at his audience.
‘No,’ he said. ‘All of us are discussing cows on every platform but, none of you seem to know that a cow can jump over the Moon. I never expected this from you. How can you convince people with such little knowledge?’
It was now Sue Sharma who spoke.
‘I have also heard about this,’ she gave everyone her trademark smile. ‘We must find out more about this.’
‘How will you go about it?’ Moody asked.
‘We can make it a part of one of our post graduate curriculum,’ she said. ‘We can set up a separate research center to study how high a cow can jump. And – train the animals to keep jumping higher and higher. I am sure if they keep trying, they can jump over the Moon.’
‘Good idea,’ Moody said. ‘But – it will take time. I want something fast.’
‘I have an alternative suggestion,’ Sue Sharma once again flashed her smile.
‘What is that?’ Moody sat forward in his seat.
‘I’ll send a mail to the Google chaps. They must know. They have all the answers.’
Moody heaved a sigh of relief.
‘That’s a wonderful idea,’ he said. ‘But, don’t worry – I’ll send the mail. A mail from me will have greater effect than a mail from someone else. I want them to feel important.’ (to be continued …)


(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)


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Sunday, January 10, 2016

Mandir robs Moody of his sleep (satire)


Moody entered his chamber and found a packet on his table. There was no name of the sender and, before he could pick up the intercom to ask his PA, the instrument broke the silence.
‘Yes?’ Moody was still drowsy. Hash Budden had prescribed mild sedatives for a good sleep but, Moody was apprehensive of such medicines. He relied more on Baba Someday’s remedies.
‘Have you got the message?’ Rum Mudda asked.
‘What message?’
‘Check your table, it must be there,’ Rum sounded irritated.
Moody looked and discovered only a pile of letters in his in tray – must be fresh arrivals.
‘There are a few letters in my in-tray,’ he said. ‘Tell me which the urgent one is. I’ll action it without any delay.’ ‘You mean you have not received the packet?’
‘Packet?’
‘Yes – it weighs around hundred grams,’ Rum Mudda asked.
‘What about its dimensions?’
‘Moody-ji, I am talking about the mandir,’ Mudda was exasperated.
‘Oh!’ Moody sighed. ‘I have explained it to you. My boys are on the job.’
‘I know,’ Rum Mudda said. ‘I have sent you a model of the temple. I want you to keep it on your table in front of your eyes. I do not want you to forget about it. Our very existence depends on the mandir.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Moody assured Rum Mudda.
‘Last year you were so busy on your foreign trips. The novelty must have worn off by now. So, it is time that you got down to business.’
Rum Mudda wanted the mandir, Subba Shami has begun talking about mandir, Baba Someday was also becoming impatient. Everyone wants the mandir and, our friend Moody was losing his precious sleep. As it is, his quota of sleep has been reducing with every passing day and, even by doing yoga, he had difficulty in remembering.
Like the time he mistook mandir for Mandira and another time fur madira – both were taboo for him. Mandira had made a name for herself in the field of cricket, and madira was a concoction that could rob you of your senses and make you dance to others’ tunes.
Suddenly he got the bright idea – there were still so many countries left to visit. He had thought of offloading the task to Sue Sharma. But – he was still the boss. The world has come to respect him. They identify India with Moody. He cannot let go of that advantage.
Mandir will not disappear but his chances might. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)

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Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Moody on climate change – promote bullock carts and tonga (satire)


#Climatechange On his return from yet another of his foreign trips, Moody called in his men to draw up a strategy on how to contribute towards reduction of greenhouse gas effect. That was a hot topic of the day and was displayed on the notice board outside his chamber.
Present were Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Nitty Gadcurry, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Vicky Singh and Ranee-ji.
‘Tell me,’ Moody opened the discussions.’ How do we reduce this bad effect of greenhouse gases that are emitted by vehicles?’
‘We have to go in for alternate fuels,’ Nitty Gadcurry said. ‘We have already taken a step in that direction. We have begun work on alternate modes of transport like river transport. Once the Ganga is cleaned, there will steamers to ferry people from one place to another.’
Moody gave him a hard stare.
‘Steamers need diesel and that produces carbon dioxide gases. We must have something that does not need such fuels.’ ‘Well – we could have sailing boats,’ Sue Sharma suggested.
‘Yes. That is a solution,’ Moody said. ‘That is for water transport. How about road transport?’
‘We could reinvent the tongas and bullock carts,’ Nitty Gadcurry gave his solution. ‘They are totally pollution free.’
‘Hmm,’ Moody drew doodles on the paper in front of him. In the course of his interaction with world leaders, he had seen them doodle and he liked the idea. ‘Now – how do we go about introducing the change?’
‘Let us give them incentive,’ Jet Lee spoke for the first time. He knew all about incentives – if you want to get any job done, announce incentives.
‘What sort of incentive?’ Moody was all ears.
‘Let us announce that anyone who opts to ride to work on a horse will get an advance increment,’ Jet Lee gave an idea. Baba Someday wiped his beard and grinned.
‘If you ask me, I will say that when a group wants to come to work on a bullock cart or a tonga, they will get a paid holiday to a yoga resort in the Andaman islands.’ ‘Moreover, we can set up factories to construct tongas and bullock carts,’ Nitty Gadcurry added – ‘we can have these facilities in backward states – they will generate employment opportunities and people will see the face of acche din.’>br> ‘Yes Nitty-ji, let us begin work. I think we can get expertise to make these from abroad. Check out where these would be suitable and let me now. I’ll make my next trip there.’
Nitty Gadcurry was crestfallen. He had expected that Moody would ask him to go to that country to have discussions. (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Lord Shiva learns of Moody’s plans to go to the Moon (satire)

The honey trap of Pat & Jolie (satire)

Baba Someday to use gobar gas and yoga for space flights (satire)


Foreign students for study in India nosedives from 13,961 in 2013 to 3,737 in 2014

Water scarcity in Prime Minister's constituency - blame it on Coca Cola

World Cup cricketer of Vadodara sells moong kachoris to make ends meet


Big B rides a scooter in Kolkata - shooting for another movie

International Jazz Festival at Stone Water Eco Resort in Goa

Ben Affleck talks on 'Batman V Superman'


Russian airstrike in Syrian town of Ariha kills at least 40

Turkey downed two Russian fighter jets - Putin says the US leaked its flight path

Gunman attacks Colorado abortion clinic - leaves 3 dead, 9 wounded

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Moody’s ideas to revamp the media (satire)


The news shown on the national media appears to be bland and lacks the verve and zing of private channels and Moody was determined to set that right. Therefore, during one of his brief sessions at home, he summoned his I & B Minister.
‘Why should private TV channels have all the fun?’ he asked Jet Lee.
‘They have the money power,’ Jet Lee replied.
‘Let us clear the anomaly, let us give the employees a raise.’
‘Actually, they work on a shoestring budget,’ Jet Lee wrung his hands. ‘We have to increase that also.’
‘I don’t think that should pose any problem,’ Moody said. ‘We have generated plenty of funds through different means.’
‘That is OK – but, private channels enjoy much more freedom to work. They can experiment and they can induct talent and discard the deadwood.’
‘I think we should form a committee – who do you think should be in the committee?’
‘Well – we must have representations from women. Hence Ranee-ji and Sue-ji would be automatic choices.’
‘Yes – they have plenty of ideas.’
‘And, then we can have Baba Someday who can give ideas on alternative medicines. Hash Budden can also contribute his knowledge while Vicky Singh can look after the effects of global turmoil that needs to be analyzed in the proper perspective.’
‘Well – that would be a start for the audio visual medium. What about the broadcasting media? How can we make it more exciting? I want to make it more appealing to the masses. But. I am told that the people listen to only film songs. They have no time for anything serious.’
‘No Sir,’ Jet Lee hastened to assure him. ‘We have made listening to the radio compulsory, at least once a month.’ ‘That is good. Let us improve the frequency. Let us wean people away from the world of make believe and promote the culture and traditions that we are proud of.’
‘Yes – we must do that. The masses are addicted to alien cultures and values. That must change.’
Suddenly the phone rang. Moody picked up the receiver and the muscles on his face softened.
‘Have you heard the news?’ he asked Jet Lee.
‘Which news?’
‘Cricket is good for health and wealth.’
‘Health I understand but, how about wealth?’
‘Don’t you know - all our cricketers are crorepatis.’
‘I know,’ Jet Lee sighed. ‘It’s a wonderful diversion.' Then murmured under his breath - 'if I knew earlier, I could have gone in for cricket.'
‘Then arrange some more matches – if necessary, have a new format.’
‘But the IPL season has yet to take off.’
‘Forget IPL - let us explore new areas. Let us contact the Eskimos – they can come up with a new look team.’ ‘And, pitch them against teams from the deserts. That will make beautiful contrasts.’
‘And, give exclusive rights to the national media for telecast and broadcast. That will create a new platform for us to spread our messages.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)


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Fight fire with fire - have ‘Award Return Festivals’

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Fossils and eggshells of baby dinosaurs found in Gobi Desert

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Sunday, November 1, 2015

Operation unearthing Black Money (satire)


Black Money had been an obsession with Moody long before he came to the hot seat. He had come from a humble background and, to him, black meant coal. He used it to light up the ovens to make tea. But, his trusted band of lieutenants and followers had coined wonderful phrases on black money which did pay dividends but not in the way he would have liked them to.
He wanted to unearth the huge amounts of that particular brand of money stashed away in foreign banks and distribute them to the common man – he had gone to the extent of promising that he would transfer it to individual bank accounts. And – the people were floored!
But, alas, reality was hard to swallow.
That is why he had called for a meeting with his trusted lieutenants Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Hash Budden and Baba Someday. ‘Why have you not met the deadline?’ Moody was not in the best of tempers.
‘It’s a big mystery,’ Sue Sharma explained. ‘The foreign banks were most courteous, they rolled out the red carpets and have given us a tiny slip of paper with names of a few people.’
‘That was just the tip of the iceberg,’ Moody was not happy. ‘Why are they so cagey?’
‘I have no idea,’ Sue mumbled.
‘Well – get idea,’ Moody gave a sarcastic grin. ‘Why do they have hesitation to part with the information?’
‘Could be that the list is a huge one and contains names of people that would cause undue embarrassment,’ Jet Lee suggested.
‘Let us be the judge,’ Moody said. ‘If the people were influential and wielded tremendous power and came from different political formations, should we let the sleeping dogs lie?’
It was at this point that Baba Someday intervened.
He was a wise man determined to root out any and every thing that was bad for the masses. He wanted to have a world devoid of disease and, hence, many doctors were his sworn enemies. He preached yoga and had a huge setup where he had started setups to manufacture biscuits, noodles, honey, plus pure ghee etcetera.
‘Moody-ji,’ he said, ‘which ever country you have gone to, you have broached the subject, yes?’
Moody nodded.
‘You have sent Sue-ji and Jet Lee-ji also – yes?’
‘Yes,’ Moody again nodded.
‘That means you have exhausted all natural channels, right?’
‘Yes. Sort of.’
‘Then let us invoke the Gods, have a yagna, invite all the world leaders to the program. They will jump at the opportunity.’
‘But – how will that help bring back the black money?’
‘Well – in my honest opinion, unearthing black money is a subject where God only can help us. Let us, therefore, invoke the Gods.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)


Some more interesting links -

The global broom campaign (satire)

Moody searching for a place where no leader has gone (Satire)

Moody, Jet Lee and missing pulses (Satire)


Fossils and eggshells of baby dinosaurs found in Gobi Desert

Parama Island flyover adds to traffic jams in Kolkata – made one-way

Future of street foods in Delhi bleak - Delhi bans cooking on roads


Arnold Schwarzenegger could play in Rajinikanth-starrer 'Enthiran 2'

Emma Roberts and her horror-comedy series "Scream Queens"

India is one of 81 countries vying for Best Foreign Film in the 88th Academy Awards


Despite US airstrikes, ISIS still makes £300-million a year from oil

Syrian gang caught trying to smuggle 20-tonnes of cannabis worth £150million into Europe

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters

Friday, October 30, 2015

Give It Up – embrace a DOG’s life (satire)


Moody was on top of the world. He was pleased with himself because world leaders were falling over themselves in order to get into his good books. It was one of those rare occasions when he happened to be in the country and he had called his followers for discussions in general. The topic for discussion was ‘Give It Up’.
Jet Lee was there along with Sue Sharma, Hash Budden, Ranee, Nitty Gadcurry and Pyari Kar.
‘Where do we stand on the Give It up campaign?’ Moody asked to no one in particular.
‘Well – we have had success on all fronts,’ Jet Lee gave a diplomatic reply.
‘Let us talk about dal first,’ Sue Sharma was serious as always. ‘With cost spiraling beyond control, people have welcomed the slogan Give It Up. They have given up the concept of dal-roti and are looking for alternatives. Eating houses have already hiked prices of dal fry. Dal has also practically vanished from other dishes. And, as suggested by Baba Someday, the sage, ordinary people are giving dals a miss and going in for other vegetables.’
‘That is a good sign,’ Hash Budden remarked. ‘I have seen ads on TV where they say dals are treated with chemicals to impart a fresh glow to the products. When people go in for veggies, the problem of adulteration would, automatically, be taken care of and it will improve their health.’
‘People have also supported the Give It Up campaign for onions,’ Nitty Gadcurry now spoke. ‘Here again, the rising prices have helped the cause.’
‘What about LPG?’ Moody enquired. That was a subject dear to his heart.
‘Response has been good,’ Jet Lee once again went in for diplomacy.
‘Let us make it a success,’ Moody said. ‘I want to see LPG connections in every shack. The poor women have to shed tears every time they sit down to cook. It is the smoke from firewood that makes them cry. I want to change all that. I want our women to always smile.'
Of course, just how surrendering of LPG subsidy would get converted to LPG cylinders for the poor is something of a mystery.
‘I think we are on the right track,’ Pyari Kar smiled. ‘Achhe din aah gaye – the good days have arrived. Let the people embrace the DOG’s life.’
‘DOG’s life?’ Sue Sharma could not understand.
‘Dal, Onion and Gas – they add up to DOG, don’t they?’
Suddenly Moody’s phone rang.
‘Excuse me,’ he picked up the receiver, listened and stood up, ‘my flight is ready. I have to leave.’ (to be continued …)
(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)


Some more interesting links -

The global broom campaign (satire)

Moody searching for a place where no leader has gone (Satire)

Moody, Jet Lee and missing pulses (Satire)


Fossils and eggshells of baby dinosaurs found in Gobi Desert

Parama Island flyover adds to traffic jams in Kolkata – made one-way

Future of street foods in Delhi bleak - Delhi bans cooking on roads


Arnold Schwarzenegger could play in Rajinikanth-starrer 'Enthiran 2'

Emma Roberts and her horror-comedy series "Scream Queens"

India is one of 81 countries vying for Best Foreign Film in the 88th Academy Awards


Despite US airstrikes, ISIS still makes £300-million a year from oil

Syrian gang caught trying to smuggle 20-tonnes of cannabis worth £150million into Europe

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Good bye floods and droughts (satire)


Water is essential for life as we know it and, as we try to migrate to other planets, our first concern is water. The logic is, if water exists, so can lifeforms. On our planet Earth, water is available in plenty but, the distribution is haphazard. While some areas pine for a drop of water, other areas suffer from an abundance in the form of floods.
That is why Moody has deep furrows on his forehead – a sign of worry.
Every year there are scenes of flooded localities with relief packages being airdropped and people running to collect the food packets. There are the aerial surveys by the minister concerned to flood affected areas to assess the extent of drainage which would translate into the amount of central aid.
Side by side there are droughts – farmers sit hunched up on their parched farmlands waiting for rains and, unable to repay the loans they had taken, resort to committing suicides.
Moody wants to change all that. He does not like to hear about unhappiness among his people. He wants them to be happy. Share is his message. Those who have plenty should not hesitate to share some of it with others who are not so fortunate.
Moody, therefore, sent for two of his assistants - Hash Budden and Nitty Gadcurry.
‘I want to discuss water,’ he said.
‘Well,’ Hash Budden began. ‘There are many water purifiers in the market. All of them guarantee pure water. If we go for bulk purchase, we will get huge discounts.’
‘I don’t mean that,’ Moody shook his head.
‘Oh! You mean you want to discuss bottled mineral water?’
‘No. I am worried about water for the masses.’
‘Then we must be careful. The ground water is depleting and, to preserve whatever is available, we must ban bore wells. Moreover, these bore wells are dangerous. Kids keep falling into them and the media people have to spend hours in the night suffering mosquito bites as they give live coverage of rescue operations.’
‘Hash-ji, I am on a different frequency,’ Moody appeared to be exasperated.
‘Oh!’ Hash Budden was deflated.
‘Why don’t we link up the rivers?’ Moody shot his question.
‘We are drawing up plans,’ Nitty joined in the conservation.
‘I don’t want plans. I want action. How soon can we link up the Ganges with the Godavari and Cauvery?’
‘Well – work has started and we can expect to see results soon.’
‘Give me a timeframe,’ Moody demanded.
‘That is not easy,’ Gadcurry shifted in the chair. ‘There are many uncertainties. Especially with the Ganges. It needs to be cleaned up first otherwise the pollution would spread to all the other rivers.’
‘I see,’ Moody nodded his head. Then he began to doodle on the pad in front of him. The doodle looked like a meandering river. (to be continued …)
(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)


Some more interesting links -

The global broom campaign (satire)

Moody searching for a place where no leader has gone (Satire)

Moody, Jet Lee and missing pulses (Satire)


Fossils and eggshells of baby dinosaurs found in Gobi Desert

Parama Island flyover adds to traffic jams in Kolkata – made one-way

Future of street foods in Delhi bleak - Delhi bans cooking on roads


Arnold Schwarzenegger could play in Rajinikanth-starrer 'Enthiran 2'

Emma Roberts and her horror-comedy series "Scream Queens"

India is one of 81 countries vying for Best Foreign Film in the 88th Academy Awards


Despite US airstrikes, ISIS still makes £300-million a year from oil

Syrian gang caught trying to smuggle 20-tonnes of cannabis worth £150million into Europe

US airdrops 50-tons of ammunition for M-16s and AK-47 to Syrian fighters