Moody becomes moody after surgical strike (satire)

Moody had got the news about the surgical strikes and elimination of a pack of nuisance – they kept infiltrating into his house and destroyed his garden. He wanted to erect a wall and demarcate the boundary because the infiltrators gave the excuse that their literacy was low and since there is no visible boundary, their flocks keep making mistakes.
Suddenly the hot line rang – it was Clean Ton, a woman leader who could mean a lot.
‘Yes,’ Moody picked up the receiver.
‘How did you hit upon the idea?’ she asked.
‘What idea?’
‘This surgical strike,’ Clean Ton said. ‘I thought it was about some surgical operation on a serious patient.’
‘Well – it was one such operation done on the sly, in the dark.’

‘You mean there was no light in the Operation Theater?’
‘No, it was after midnight.’
‘You mean an operation in the dark?’
‘Sort of,’ Moody said. ‘Outsiders had entered my area. They kept entering on some pretext or the other. Once it was about chasing honey bees. Then there was the case of coming for their cattle that had strayed into my territory.’
‘I see,’ Clean Ton lowered her voice. ‘I think you are the fittest man for the job I have in mind. Your experience would be an asset to me.’
‘What do you have in mind?’ Moody asked.
‘I want you to eliminate the reign of terror in the Middle East. I am determined to rid the world of the mess and, with the expertise that you have gained, I feel it would be a cakewalk for you. I have discussed it with Angel Miracle and Tressa May – both of them agree with me.’
Moody gulped. He had eliminated infiltrators from his backyard but taking it to a global level would be tough, especially the type of people who were behind the terror outfits.
‘I can’t give any guarantee,’ Moody said.
Clean Ton laughed.
‘You have a 56-inch chest, this work would be easy for you. Of course, they have teams of suicide bombers. You will have to neutralize them first.’
Clean Ton rang off and Moody called in his associates Sue Sharma, Pyari Kar and Rajanna King. They came in and Pyari Kar had three files on boundary walls – one was barbed wire, second was brick and mortar and the third was laser wall.
‘Just now Clean Ton had rung up,’ Moody said. ‘She is impressed with our surgical strike and wants us to replicate it in the Middle East to eliminate you-know-who.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody comes face to face with a hijacker in midair (satire)

Moody was off on another of his foreign jaunts and his team of ministers were there at the airport to see him off. Once inside the aircraft, and surrounded by his henchmen and muscle men, he retired to his corner, looked out of the window and watched the ground staff applying finishing touches to the takeoff.
A steward came up with a tray on which was a glass of fresh water. He removed the cover of the glass and stood at attention as Moody picked up the glass, took a sip of pure water and returned the glass.
The purity of the water was certified by the Food and Drinks department.
He now closed his eyes and went over in his mind on what he would do in the course of his visit. Yes, he would ensure meeting NRIs in those places and invite them to return back to India and become a part of his projects. He would also try to influence the leaders to invest in his various drives, especially cleanliness. He will make it a point to extract information on how they keep their surrounding so clean and how their trains are so punctual and how they track down terrorists.

Suddenly his mobile phone rang. It was Sue Sharma on the line.
‘Yes,’ he wanted to know.
‘There has been a hijacking,’ Sue whispered.
‘Any Indians involved?’ Moody asked.
‘So far no news to worry about, but my men are checking up. I’ll keep you informed.’
‘Where did this happen?’
‘In the Middle East. The hijacker wore a suicide vest.’
The aircraft was airborne by now and Moody looked around him. His bodyguards were in their seats and in the yoga mood – they had their eyes closed and were breathing in and out and he could see their chests moving rhythmically.
Moody was happy – everything was going like clockwork.
Suddenly a woman came up to him and Moody was surprised. Except for a few of his ministers like Sue Sharma, Emma Melaney, Uma-ji and Ranee-ji, he tried to avoid coming in close contact with members of the opposite sex.
She smiled at him and sat on one of the empty seats. Moody could see the skirt ride over her knees and he turned his glance away. He was annoyed – his bodyguards should not have allowed her to come into his private area.
‘Hi,’ the girl greeted him. ‘Don’t look at me like that. I’ll not harm you if you listen to me.’
She was speaking in a low tome, just above the whisper.
Moody tried to ignore her.
‘Look at me,’ she said and removed her pullover. Beneath was what looked like a special vest. She now leaned over and smiled. ‘This is a suicide vest I am wearing. I plan to hijack your plane and I want you to help me.’
Moody was sweating by now. He suddenly found that he had lost is voice. He wanted to call out to his bodyguards but they were still in the yoga trance. He tried to get up from his seat but lost his balance – and discovered that he was alone in his cubicle. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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