Moody gets a call from Ronald Grump (satire)

Moody, like any blacksmith, loves to strike when the iron is hot - striking has always been his strength. After the well planned and executed surgical strike, he went ahead with his black money strike. Black money is a subject that everyone loves to talk about. And black money when added to Swiss banks make for a heady cocktail.
Of course, Moody himself shies away from cocktails and no one knows for certain whether he has ever tasted the harmless mocktails.
The ringing of the hotline brought Moody back to reality. It was the new Uncle Sam better known as Ronald Grump – a man who is unpredictable.

‘Namaste Ronald-ji,’ Moody greeted him.
‘What’s that you said just now?’ Ronald asked.
‘It is our way of salutation,’ Moody explained. ‘A welcome message Ronald-ji.’
‘My name is Ronald, Ronny for short,’ Ronald grunted. ‘I hear you have taken a very bold step in a hurry and have fallen in a pit. It does not help your image. Your people are still one century behind us and you want to overtake us.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Moody replied. ‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours.’
‘That is why you have to hammer home the message about cleanliness, build toilets, clean your rivers, is it? Look buddy, your priorities are confused.’
‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours. We invented the flying machine much before you did. It was the flying chariot - Ravana used it to kidnap Sita.’
Ronald gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know all that. You invented the zero, you invented yoga, you invented the snake charmers and you have hundreds of Godmen who perform miracles. Wake up man, there is more to living than is revealed in your philosophies.’
‘OK,’ Moody replied. ‘What is it you want?’
‘I want you to know that I talked with your pal the other day. It was a pleasant surprise. He is such a nice man. I wonder why you can’t get along with him.’
‘I don’t understand who you are talking about,’ Moody murmured.
‘Your neighbor,’ Ronald laughed. ‘Both of you were buddies, you exchanged gifts and you even dropped in on him one day, unannounced. And – all of a sudden you don’t want to talk with him! What’s the problem?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Yoga and khadi gel with Baba and Moody (satire)

Moody had always wanted to string together people from all walks of life by using a thread that will withstand the rigors of time. And – he selected the magic of yoga and khadi. Both are unique to India, the land of snake charmers and rope tricks.
The door of his chamber opened and in peered the hairy face of Baba Someday. He was enjoying life. His Pat & Jolie set up had become a terror for the MNCs because Baba has brought into the market every conceivable product from medicines to biscuits to creams and lotions.
‘Have you fixed your program?’ Moody asked.
‘Yes,’ Baba replied. ‘I will be in Hawaii on yoga day. It will be beach yoga. The locals love their beaches and I will tap that weakness.’

‘Hope you will carry with you samples of khadi towels and mats.’
‘That has already been shipped. The items will be there in Havana and my men will distribute them before commencing the yoga.’
‘Good. I have asked each of my ministers to be in their places exactly on time. They will all be dressed in khadi. It is comfortable. I must tell my backroom boys to coin a new slogan on yoga and khadi.’
‘We could rope in some Bollywood stars to promote khadi fashion. There are many out-of-work actors and actresses who would jump at the opportunity. We could dangle the carrot of some Padma awards.’
‘Not a bad idea.’ Moody said.
Suddenly Pyari Kar rang up.
‘Yes,’ Moody cleared his throat.
‘Our girls have flown,’ Pyari said.
‘Which girls? Where have they flown to? Have you informed our missions abroad?’
Pyari Kar laughed.
‘I mean our fighter pilots. The girls have flown in fighter aircraft.’
‘Good. Girls are our assets. How about training them in sword fighting?’
‘That, I think, has started.’
Moody replaced the receiver and waved Baba away.
He has shown how to influence the decision of others. Those who thought ill of him were forced to set aside the past and embrace the new Moody who has created a new lifestyle for himself. In spite of knowing that threats that lurk in every corner, he does not have machine gun toting muscle men accompanying him but relies on the stout stick wielded by his clan. The stick can be a formidable weapon in experienced hands. (to be continued…)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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