I removed my heart blockage without surgery 20 years back and am still active

The heart is the most vital organ of any living being. This organ loses its powers with age and once the symptoms become visible, one seeks medical advice. The patient has to go in for medication as the medical team pores over the findings of various tests. Usually, the suggestion of the learned professionals is surgery. However, I did nothing of the sort when doctors advised that option. It happened in 2003 when I was in service. I still had one year left to retire and the doctors said – ‘don’t worry - you will not need to pay anything because the company will bear the expenses since you are still an employee.’ It did not convince me. Yes, my heart was weak. I was taken to the hospital from my office and preliminary investigation in Mumbai showed my LVEF to be far below limits. In those days, the cardiac scene was practically not there in Nashik and I had to go to Mumbai. I dreaded the very thought of lying unconscious on the operation table as surgeons tried to repair my damaged heart. I had never undergone any surgery until then and even now, there are no such scars on my body.

Well, when I returned back from Mumbai, a woman who worked in my section gave me a local Marathi magazine in which there was a medicine prescribed to improve the functions of the heart. It consisted of three ingredients. These were basil leaves, fresh lemon and ‘khadi’ shakkar. This is a form of sugar that comes in the form of lumps. I would pluck 10 to 12 basil leaves, clean them and make a paste with the ‘khadi’ shakkar using a marble-stone mortar and pestle. I would then put the paste in a cup, mix the juice of a fresh lemon and swallow the mixture on an empty stomach. Simultaneously, I would munch a pod of garlic along with my morning tea. I continued this ‘medication’ for nearly six months. When I next went for checkup in Mumbai, the LVEF value had gone up to a satisfactory level. I did not go for any surgery and am as fit as a fiddle even today. My age is 78.

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Moody and the half pant brigade (satire)

Moody was staring at a black and white snapshot of himself as a young man selling chai - he wore shorts in those days and felt comfortable in them. Such attires allowed a lot of freedom in movement and, when the air got hot and stifling, especially in the summer months, these half pants were indispensable.
And, all of a sudden, the decision came from above that half pants will make way for full pants.

Suddenly his hot line rang – it was Bee Rack O’Vama.
‘Hi man,’ he began, ‘how are your boundaries? Have you started to mend the fences?’
‘Mending fences is a continuous process,’ Moody replied.
‘I know,’ Bee Rack sighed. ‘I have Vladdy Putty in my hair. He is unpredictable – just like your Naa Buzz. And – I just cannot wish him away. Anyway – let us talk on something more interesting.’
‘Like Diwali?’
‘Yes. I celebrated it in my office. It shows how close we are, doesn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then why don’t you revolt?’
‘Why should I?’
‘Because your bosses are insisting that you wear full pants when I know that you love half pants.’
Moody gave a dry laugh.
‘It is not easy,’ he said. ‘Half pants were OK so long as we remained in the background. But – with the global recognition that we are getting, we have to change tracks.’
‘Hey,’ O’Vama laughed. ‘Half pants look so cute. Bermuda shorts are a craze even in your country. City folks in cars go about in bermudas and capris. Then why did you switch over to long ones?’
‘It is a decision that I cannot question or overrule,’ Moody mumbled.
‘I believe it has got something to do with promoting khadi,’ Bee Rack said. ‘Anyway – hope your better half will return soon from her pilgrimage. My wife wanted to meet her.’
‘That will have to wait,’ Moody said. ‘She lives in her world, I live in mine.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Lord Shiva is a confused man of Mount Kailash (satire)

Lord Shiva, sitting in Mount Kailash, was a confused individual. He had his own worries about getting a new set of clothes but tigers were at a premium, as were their skins. He was, therefore, forced to don imitation tiger skins.
Durga did not miss the signs. She knew that the Lord was annoyed. So, she sidled up to him, humming a popular tune under her breath.
Lord Shiva looked up and moved aside to make room for her to sit down.
‘What’s biting you now?’ Durga asked.
‘I am confused,’ he said.
‘We all are,’ Durga said. ‘Unless there is confusion, no one gets noticed.’
‘Tell me – our friend Moody is inviting foreigners to come here and set up business. His buzzword is ‘Make in India’, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘And – side by side, the Pat & Jolie outfit of Baba Someday is promoting his own products. He says foreign goods are no good, go for my brands. He started with honey and is now rolling in money. His beard has got a new shine.’

‘He is doing it for charity,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘At least that is what he keeps harping on in each of his advertisements.’
‘He is making it clear that he is not benefiting at all. He is doing it for a good a noble cause – to promote homemade products.’
‘Then there is that woman Ranee-ji – she wants women to wear khadi sarees. Tell me – how many women wear sarees today. All I see are girls and women in jeans and skirts. Some even in swim suits. That has become today’s dress code.’
‘Don’t lose your sleep over such trifles. All of them are right in their own ways,’ Durga said.
‘You mean the British will come here and weave khadi, make designer clothes out of that and sell them? And, the Swiss will come here to make chocolates and export them?’
‘Very possible,’ Durga said. ‘And – I believe people will come from Zimbabwe to make artificial tiger skins. You will then get a better quality of substitute.’
Lord Shiva did not have a ready answer to that one. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody discusses women’s fashion with Baba Someday (satire)

Moody had been wanting to induct new fasces and, seeing the performances of some of them, he wanted to sidetrack them. Many of his people were first timers and went over the top to please him – and the result had left a bad taste in his mouth.
Therefore, he rang in the changes much to the discomfort for a couple of his people.
That is when Baba Someday made his entry. He was trying his level best to expand his Pat & Jolie Empire and, simultaneously, its reach. The range of his products went from hair oil and cooking oil to honey and energy bars and even toothpaste and handwash.
‘I have come to wish you a happy journey,’ he stroked his black shining beard and said.
‘Thank you,' Moody replied.
‘Hope you will not forget to take some more samples with you,’ Baba reminded.
‘Don’t worry,’ Moody assured. ‘My men have already taken care of your products. There are gift packed boxes that I will distribute to my hosts in Africa. They know us as masters of rope tricks but they don’t know how many tricks I have up my sleeve.’

Baba Someday laughed.
‘Your cabinet reshuffle was a master stroke,’ he chuckled. ‘The poor TV star does not yet know what has hit her.’
Moody did not reply. He followed the famous management policy – never try to justify your actions. While the decision might be right, the reasons could all be wrong.
‘Assigning her to the textile ministry would be good for the industry,’ Baba went in. ‘After all –women know clothes better than men. And – we need to promote our khadi culture.’
Moody was still silent. His mind was wandering to the jungles of Africa and elephant safari. But - he must arrange to get pulses for his people. They were in short supply and the price has hit the roof. It was his responsibility to ensure that the poor get a fair share of dal. Dal with roti is what they pine for. There is even a song devoted to dal. It goes – ‘dal roti khao, prabhu ka goon gao.’
Obviously, dal is a priority item on every housewife’s list and it was his duty to see that dal floods the market. Suddenly he opened his mouth.
‘Tell me Someday-ji, how would it be if the textile ministry tied up with the Fashion Industry? They could organize fashion shows, right?’ Moody asked.
‘That would be a great idea,’ Baba replied. ‘The minister could inspire the girls and women to embrace dresses that match with our age old traditions.’
‘You mean to the Ajanta and Ellora days?’ Moody asked.
Baba Someday smiled and the smile was hidden under his beard. It was a convenient cover. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Yoga and khadi gel with Baba and Moody (satire)

Moody had always wanted to string together people from all walks of life by using a thread that will withstand the rigors of time. And – he selected the magic of yoga and khadi. Both are unique to India, the land of snake charmers and rope tricks.
The door of his chamber opened and in peered the hairy face of Baba Someday. He was enjoying life. His Pat & Jolie set up had become a terror for the MNCs because Baba has brought into the market every conceivable product from medicines to biscuits to creams and lotions.
‘Have you fixed your program?’ Moody asked.
‘Yes,’ Baba replied. ‘I will be in Hawaii on yoga day. It will be beach yoga. The locals love their beaches and I will tap that weakness.’

‘Hope you will carry with you samples of khadi towels and mats.’
‘That has already been shipped. The items will be there in Havana and my men will distribute them before commencing the yoga.’
‘Good. I have asked each of my ministers to be in their places exactly on time. They will all be dressed in khadi. It is comfortable. I must tell my backroom boys to coin a new slogan on yoga and khadi.’
‘We could rope in some Bollywood stars to promote khadi fashion. There are many out-of-work actors and actresses who would jump at the opportunity. We could dangle the carrot of some Padma awards.’
‘Not a bad idea.’ Moody said.
Suddenly Pyari Kar rang up.
‘Yes,’ Moody cleared his throat.
‘Our girls have flown,’ Pyari said.
‘Which girls? Where have they flown to? Have you informed our missions abroad?’
Pyari Kar laughed.
‘I mean our fighter pilots. The girls have flown in fighter aircraft.’
‘Good. Girls are our assets. How about training them in sword fighting?’
‘That, I think, has started.’
Moody replaced the receiver and waved Baba away.
He has shown how to influence the decision of others. Those who thought ill of him were forced to set aside the past and embrace the new Moody who has created a new lifestyle for himself. In spite of knowing that threats that lurk in every corner, he does not have machine gun toting muscle men accompanying him but relies on the stout stick wielded by his clan. The stick can be a formidable weapon in experienced hands. (to be continued…)


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