Moody hopes Khajuraho will win over the new Uncle Sam (satire)

Moody was confronted with a major worry and the furrows on his forehead displayed his anxiety. He wanted to cozy up to the new Uncle Sam and, for that, he had to present him with a gift to strengthen the bond. He, therefore, rang up Baba Someday.
‘Baba-ji,’ Moody said. ‘Can you suggest a suitable gift for Uncle Sam?’
‘That would mean a lot of study,’ Baba replied. ‘Actually, I don’t have that much spare time. I am busy setting up a special unit to prepare ayurvedic instant noodles. I am determined to drive out all foreign competition from the lives of Indians.’
‘I rely on your judgment, which is why I contacted you first.’
‘I am sorry to disappoint you.’

So Moody contacted Jet Lee – another of his trusted men. He also could have been a great help. But – he was in a quandary about the next IPL. It is all about bright dazzling cricket and requires plenty of organizing and advance planning.
Then Moody tried Sue Sharma. But - she was in hospital.
Moody missed her presence – she would have been a great help in this problem since it was all about the American Dream. Not for the Americans of America but for Indians who longed to become Americans in America.
Moody had expected Clean Ton to win. That would have ensured a sort of continuity in the link already created. But, when the results went against her, Moody realized that he would have to begin all over again.
That is when he was stumped.
Being a true Indian, he believed in the moral that to have a friend in need when you want him most, you have to give him a gift when you meet him for the first time. So far, he had followed that policy and had been rewarded - best example was the Uncle Sam who was on his way out.
Moody had presented him with a statue of Hanuman and a copy of the Gita.
After that Uncle Sam literally worshipped the ground that Moody walked on and had accepted an invitation to come to attend the Republic Day program in a city where air pollution from smog was always a major irritant.
Now – what could Moody gift to the new Uncle Sam to win him over?
From what he had heard – this man was more of a business man and less of a politician. Moody himself hailed from that part of the country which is known to be the haunt of businessmen.
Suddenly his eyes lit up – Khajuraho was the answer. Yes – Khajuraho would keep the new Uncle Sam fascinated. It was all about Indian art of yore and he could commission an artist to paint the scenes of Khajuraho on the ceiling and walls of his Tower. (to be continued…)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody hates black money and strikes at midnight (satire)

Moody hates black, especially if it is related to money. This black money is more slippery than an eel dipped in oil. When he first said that he would unearth all the back money stashed away in foreign locations, people laughed.
One of his ardent followers Baba Someday kept reminding him about the black money and, Moody finally decided to act. He confided in his colleague Jet Lee and, together, they drew up the strike plan – it was the midnight strike.

‘I hate anything that is black including blackberries,’ Moody was frank. ‘My beard is white, my jacket is white, and my trousers are white.’
Baba Someday shifted uneasily in his chair. His beard was jet black!
Jet Lee noticed Baba’s discomfort and came to his rescue.
‘Moody-ji – all blacks are not bad. Especially the hair dyes that make one look younger. The jhakas look as is shown in one of the ads.’
Just then Sue Sharma entered.
‘How did Tressa May enjoy the trip?’ Moody asked.
‘She is fascinated by our sarees,’ Sue replied.
‘Did you broach the subject of making them in India under our Make In India scheme?’
‘I talked to her team,’ Sue said. ‘They have made a note of it and will come back to us.’
‘What about the new Uncle Sam? I have already wished him on his victory. He loves us. That’s why he adapted our famous slogan for his successful campaign.’
‘Yes. It is a catchy slogan and strikes the right chord.’
Moody now looked at Jet Lee.
‘Talking about strikes - what about our black money campaign?’
‘I have studied the subject and feel the time is ripe to carry out our plan. We must take everyone by surprise. It will become the new talking point and will drive irritating subjects like surgical strikes out of focus.’
Sue Sharma cleared her throat and coughed.
‘Are you not well?’ Moody enquired.
‘It is the effect of air pollution and smog,’ she replied.
At this moment Nitty Gadcurry came in.
‘I will out an end to smog,’ he said. ‘I want to stop plying of all vehicles on the roads during the day. People will have to go in for alternate modes of transport.’
‘You mean cycling or walking?’ Baba wanted to know.
‘No. They’ll commute by either air or by water. I have talked to a few parties who are keen to start chopper shuttle service. And also run steamers on the Yamuna.’
‘But – if you stop smog what will happen to the new unit of Pat and Jolie that has started to manufacture gas masks and air purifiers?’
‘We will export them,’ Jet Lee said. ‘Nothing will go waste.’
‘Good,’ Moody was relaxed. ‘Our aim is to tackle black money. Let us launch our strike.’ (to be continued ..)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody and the half pant brigade (satire)

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Moody not happy with the outcome of the meeting (satire)

Moody was in a serious closed door meeting with his lieutenants. Present were Sue Sharma, Jet Lee, Pyari Kar, Baba Someday, Banka Nadoo, Rajanna King and others.
His agenda was bricks, tons of them including brickbats and he was not happy with the outcome of the meeting.
‘What did I do wrong?’ Moody asked.
‘You just cannot do anything wrong,’ Sue Sharma assured him.
‘Then why did Vlady Putty not scold Na Buzz?’
‘But, he did agree that our neighbors are not following procedures,’ Jet Lee said.

‘I wanted Putty to do much more,’ Moody sighed. ‘I had boosted him sky high when I said that one old friend is an asset and much more than ten new friends.’
‘He did appreciate that,’ Sue Sharma said. ‘I was watching him and I saw him smile.’
‘I know, I also saw that,’ Moody went on. ‘Just to keep him happy, I made him and the others wear my trademark jacket – and they gladly did that.’
‘That was a master stroke,’ Pyari Kar added. ‘It was a memorable photo ops.’
‘I even signed the contract with Putty to buy so many choppers from him,’ Moody said. ‘I wanted him to chide Na Buzz for all the tricks he is playing. His cattle roam into my house, his pigeons fly into my territory. But – Putty found nothing wrong.’
‘Neither did Jean Ping,’ Banka Nadoo complained. ‘He also sidestepped the issue. And we were hoping that he would take our side.’
‘He is probably not pleased with our policy of banning his items this Diwali,’ Baba Someday had his say. ‘He must realize that our products must get a market. I have asked my Pat & Jolie setup to make clay lamps. I will sell them along with a bottle of oil – it will come free. I want my people to light these lamps. Diwali is a festival of lamps, not of flickering bulbs.’
When the world leaders had gathered at the beachside venue to discuss serious matters, Moody was happy. When they agreed to wear jackets like him, he was still more happy. And, when Moody mentioned that an old friend was always an asset compared to ten new friends, and Vlady Putty smiled, Moody’s joys knew no bounds.
But it did not end the way he wanted it to – it left a bad taste in his mouth. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Three cheers for Didi – the Jill of all trades (satire)


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Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Moody was all praises for the participants of the 2016 Rio Olympics but was saddened at the lack of gold medals – gold is the accepted recognition and when tiny nondescript countries can boast of a crop of gold, such is not the case with Moody’s land of several billion.
Moody therefore called in his team of specialists – Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Uma-ji, Ranee-ji, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Emma Melaney, Pro Cash, Banka Nadoo and Rum Mudda. Each of them was a gem and could contribute to the cause.
‘Koel-ji,’ Moody looked towards Vee Jay Koel who had a close association with the Olympics team in Rio. ‘You have seen the Olympics from very close quarters. What is your impression? Why could others bag so many gold but not us?’ ‘It is their attitude,’ Koel-ji said. ‘They train from the KG stage – and aim for the gold.’
‘Why can’t we do it here?’ Moody asked.
‘Who said we can’t?’ Koel retorted.
‘Then let us do it,’ Moody said. ‘All the heads are here today and we can work out a strategy.’
‘We could concentrate on swimming,’ Koel-ji said. ‘Our children swim to their schools and there is a cry to build bridges to cross the rivers. I think we should not do that.’
‘Nonsense,’ Moody said. ‘We must look after their welfare. They are our assets.’
‘I know,’ Koel-ji smiled. ‘We will give them swimwear and encourage them to swim to school. Give award to kids who prove their stamina.’

Jet Lee now cleared his throat.
‘Actually, here our farmers toil in the fields to grow crops – but, that does not get us any gold,’ he said. ‘We must train them to always have the concept of gold in front of their eyes.’
‘I can help in this respect,’ Baba Someday intervened.
‘Let us hear your idea,’ Moody glanced towards the shiny black beard of the Baba.
‘I can rename the fertilizers as Gold fertilizers,’ he said. ‘And my ad pitch for it would be – use bags of Gold to bag Olympics Gold.’
It was now the turn of Pro Cash to have his say. He was the man responsible to develop human resources.
‘In my opinion, we have a brilliant pool of gold medalists who break their heads to unearth IT solutions,’ Pro Cash said. ‘They are in great demand abroad. It is difficult for them to divert their attention to Olympics Gold.’ Moody laughed.
‘Exceptions can always emerge,’ he said. ‘There are engineers who are stars in cricket. Then why can’t a gold medalist in computers bag a gold in shooting? That does not require physical strength like in boxing or wrestling or in gymnastics or in marathon running.’
Pro Cash gulped.
‘I think we can take inspiration from some famous songs,’ Emma Melaney said. ‘Songs like ‘mera dharti sona ugle, ugle heera moti …’
‘Let me make it clear,’ Moody spoke again. ‘We must reverse the trend. I want our sportspersons to bag golds – one for each state.’(to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody’s diktat – send tomatoes underground (satire)

Moody was not his pleasant self. The glass of juice that he took in the morning after his yoga practice tasted different. He asked his man Friday about it and got a shocking reply. The juice was not the original tomato juice but a watered down one – because the reddish vegetable was selling at exorbitant rates. Hence, in keeping with the traditions of austerity, it was diluted with water.
He immediately summoned his core group for a meeting and, at the appointed hour, they trooped into his chamber. There was Jet Lee, Banka Nadoo, Pass One, Sue Sharma and Nitty Gadcurry.
‘Are you aware of what is happening?’ Moody asked.

No one replied because so many things were happening all the time and no one could guess which of these Moody was talking about.
‘I am in contact with our foreign missions,’ Sue Sharma broke the silence. ‘They have designed a system by which I will know immediately if some of our people wants assistance from us. Right now, my team is working on the girl who went missing while returning from a party.’
‘I am not talking on that subject,’ Moody said.
‘I have checked the highway extension plans and they are proceeding as we want them to, where we want them to,’ Nitty Gadcurry chipped in. ‘The benefits will go to those who toe our line.’
‘I am not interested in highways,’ Moody said.
‘I have already working on my next list of Smart Cities,’ Venka Nadoo said. ‘It will be a surprise.’
‘Why is no one talking about the most important topic of today?’
They all exchanged glances and shrugged their shoulders.
‘Do you know that my morning glass of juice tasted horrible?’
Again they all exchanged glances.
‘Tell me, why has the price of a simple item like tomatoes gone so high?’
‘Actually it is a product of Nature,’ Pass One said. ‘No one has any control over it. If there is more rain, the products rot. If there is less rainfall, the yield is less.’
‘Nonsense,’ Moody was not happy with the reply. ‘You should have foreseen the possibility and taken procurement action from other sources.’
‘We are taking action against hoarders,’ Pass One explained. ‘The tomatoes go underground heaping miseries on those above ground.’
Moody grinned.
‘Why don’t you take them underground first?’ he asked.
Pass One gulped as did all the others. How could Moody support such moves?
‘Dear Pass One,’ Moody explained. ‘Let us have underground storage facilities for items like tomatoes and onions. Let us beat the hoarders at their game.’ Then Moody looked at Venka Nadoo. ‘Do not give Smart City tags unless the cities create such provisions.’
‘I think that is a very good idea,’ Venka Nadoo said. ‘I’ll ask my men to recast the new list.’ (to be continued ..)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody’s whirlwind trip - five countries in six days (satire)

From the general perception of people, a few traits have emerged that would tend to describe our friend Moody as a man who loves to travel. He does have ministers who are assigned to look after external affairs but Moody is very particular about his foreign contacts. He, therefore, relies on no one else but himself to draw up his strategies.
He had called for a meeting with his trusted ministers and accordingly they had arrived. There was Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Banka Nadoo, Emma Melanie, Nitty Gad Curry, Ranee-ji, Uma-ji and, of course, Baba Someday.
‘We wish you a happy journey,’ Sue Sharma said at the end of the meeting.
‘Thank you,’ Moody relied.
‘I hope you will take good care of your health,’ Emma Melanie said. ‘You have a very hectic schedule ahead of you with the Yoga Day appearing. I will be presenting a new form of dance with my group on the occasion.’

‘You mean the Yogi dance?’ Ranee-ji asked in a whisper.
‘Yes,’ Emma also lowed her voice.
‘And then there are the two most important points,’ Baba Someday reminded.
‘You mean Black money?’
‘Yes,’ Baba wiped his moustaches. ‘You had committed to get them back and I was confident that you would. But – time is passing and there is not much progress.’
‘We are already in dialogue with the foreign authorities,’ Jet Lee intervened.
‘You are talking like your predecessors,’ Baba was not convinced.
At last Moody spoke.
‘I have my priorities,’ he said. ‘Right now I am on a mission to invite business. I want foreigners to come here and make their products. I also want our products to flood the world markets. Baba here has already made a wonderful start and, during my visit, I’ll pursue this point also.’
‘I’ll get some samples of honey loaded in your plane,’ Baba said.
‘You don’t have to worry about that,’ Moody said. ‘My men have already got them loaded in the plane. Remember, I am running the country and I know what is best.’
‘Have you loaded some bottles of Gangajal?’ Uma-ji wanted to know.
‘Yes. I’ll distribute the samples to Indians in those countries. I want to spread the message of goodwill and peace.’ ‘Would you drop in unannounced on any one this time?’ Sue Sharma was curious to know.
‘I might, ‘Moody said. ‘Our neighbor is in hospital with some heart related problem.’
‘He should get a change of heart,’ Sue said. ‘Then there would be real peace in our surroundings.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Didi wants Red Road to be renamed (satire)

Didi wanted the oath-taking ceremony to be a very grand affair attended by dignitaries of every hue and color. She had proved to the world at large that she can deliver the goods even when faced with all sort of odds. She was also satisfied that the Reds had been put in their place.
Suddenly Moo Cool rang her up. She had entrusted him with the task of inviting the glitterati of Delhi and, therefore, he had flown down to the capital.
‘Yes Moo Cool, how is it going?’ she asked.
‘Fine. I have met all those who matter and they have assured that they’ll make it a point to be present. But – Jet Lee has some doubts. He wants to talk with you.’
‘OK – I’ll ring him up.’
‘Don’t worry. He is right here with me.’

‘Fine. Put him on.’
‘Congrats Madam,’ Jet Lee wished her. ‘I knew you will come through.’
‘I also knew. I kept it a secret.’
‘Your toils have paid off. Watching you going from one place to another and convincing the masses was done beautifully. You have plenty of admirers here.’
‘Thanks. I had to fight with a handicap of 34 years of misrule and empty coffers. The Reds had left me a legacy of a huge burden debts.’
Jet Lee laughed.
‘You have put the Reds in their place now. You deserve full credit. We’ll come to the program. By the way – where are you holding it? ’
‘I want to invite the whole city,’ Didi said. ‘Therefore I’ve decided to have it in the open, on the road.’
‘You mean in the Maidan or outside Nabanna?’
‘No. It will be on a still bigger road.’
‘It is monsoon season. Don’t you think it would be risky to do this program outdoors when rains can spoil the show at any moment?’
It was now Didi’s turn to laugh.
‘We have the best super soppers with us. We have used it during cricket matches.’
‘Good. Then we need not worry,’ Jet Lee said. ‘Hope you will arrange for choppers to take us to the venue from the airport.’
‘Leave all that to my team of Moo Cool and Dee Wreck,’ Didi said. ‘They are experts.’
‘Fine. And – where is this venue?’
‘It is the Red Road,’ Didi said.
‘Red Road? But – you have driven out all the Reds from your territory, haven’t you?’
‘Don’t worry. This Red will also go one day. We love to rename roads.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Chopper scam and Moody’s questions (satire)

Immediately he received the message, Pyari Kar ran on the double to Moody’s office. He did not even have time to finish his breakfast because Moody was a hard taskmaster and hated to be kept waiting. So Pyari had to hurry. He found Moody hunched up in his chair, deep in thought.
‘May I come in?’ he asked.
‘What is the chopper problem?’ Moody shot at him.
‘Chopper?’
‘Yes. I have seem hundreds of types of choppers. I don’t recollect any woman saying that they are problematic.’

Pyari Kar gulped. Chopper and woman meant the chopper scam and he would now have to explain the whole story to Moody. He himself was still not clear about who were involved in the scam and who paid what to whom. Now he would have to cut a sorry figure before his boss.
Suddenly the door opened and Jet Lee entered with Sue Sharma at his heels.
‘You wanted me?’ Jet Lee asked.
‘I want to know all about the choppers,’ Moody said. ‘How can there be any scam on choppers?’
‘As far as my knowledge goes, it’s all a bad legacy we have carried forward,’ Jet Lee said.
‘And – big names are involved,’ Sue Sharma added.
‘I still do not understand why anyone can scam on choppers,’ Moody sighed. ‘How many were involved?’
‘I think it was less than a hundred,’ Pyari Kar replied.
‘And – who wanted them?’
‘The Air Force.’
‘But – there are thousands of canteens in the Air Force,’ Moody mumbled. ‘Why then scam for hardly a hundred?’
‘Air Force canteen?’ Jet Lee exchanged glances with Sue Sharma and Pyari Kar.
‘That is what you said,’ Moody said. ‘Choppers are used in kitchens to chop onions and vegetables. And – you only said that it was a requirement of the Air Force. Why should anyone go in for scams on choppers? It should be covered in the Make in India bracket. It should be a cottage industry.’
‘Actually I meant helicopters,’ Pyari Kar said. ‘In Air Force language, they call helicopters as choppers. It was the Augusta chopper scam.’
‘You mean Agastya, the great sage? How can he be associated in scams?’
‘It was not Agastya but Augusta,’ Pyari Kar clarified. ‘An Italian firm. No connection with Agastya, the sage.’
‘I see,’ Moody looked at him. ‘And – what is the scam about?’
‘Money changed hands to close the deal,’ Pyari went on. ‘We have a few names but it is difficult to pinpoint the blame.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody and University degrees (satire)

Moody was in discussion with people who mattered to him – he had Ranee-ji, Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Banka Nadoo and Nitty Gadcurry. The problem at hand revolved around a University degree and the media had gone to town on the sensitive subject.
‘What does it matter if a leader has a degree or not?’ Moody looked at Ranee-ji who had proved her worth in handling several issues in universities and the student community.
‘If you ask me, what matters is whether the leader knows important facts like the location of New York and London and Paris and Moscow,’ she answered. ‘And, once there, he should be able to impress the foreigners with the great heritage that we have.’

‘It is knowledge that matters,’ Sue Sharma had her say.
‘Then why such a fuss?’ Moody appeared annoyed. ‘There are thousands of instances where kids worked in chai shops and later became important personalities.’
‘You are absolutely right,’ Jet Lee said. ‘And not just here in India but abroad also. I had seen a report of a school boy studying under the light reflected from a pizza joint.’
‘I think we must introduce some sort of legislation about degrees and leaders,’ Moody murmured. ‘They must be delinked. Those who have degrees can go in for teaching in schools and colleges and leave non-degree holders to look after the well-being of the country and its people.’
‘You do have a point,’ Ranee-ji agreed. ‘Just imagine – did the bright men and women of IITs ever think about ideas like Skill India, Digital India, Make in India, Smart Cities and Clean Ganga Mission? No – those were brainwaves of a common man like you.’
‘I agree with Ranee-ji,’ Nitty Gadcurry said. ‘No one needs any fancy degree to think big. It comes from experience.’
‘Like the free LPG to women,’ Banka Nadoo joined in. ‘It was a master stroke. First ask people to surrender their subsidies and then look after the welfare of the poor souls who live below poverty level. My heart bleeds for them when I see them huddled up in roadside shacks trying to escape from the rains. I think we should initiate some projects to house these poor souls – otherwise where will they keep their LPG cylinders?’
‘You have raised a very valid point,’ Moody appreciated the idea. ‘We could do it in the PPP model. Do you know of anyone who could agree to undertake this?’
‘It will depend on whether you want to go to China or Japan.’
‘I think we can identify parties nearer home – they have expertise in low cost housing. China and Japan will prefer to go for nothing lesser than skyscrapers.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Baya weaver birds return to Ganjam district in Odisha

28 thrillseekers stuck in Alton Towers Galactica rollercoaster ride for 40 minutes

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Moody wonders why American space research firms are jittery (satire)

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Sujjo Kanto and Ritu Bruto on free LPG connections (satire)


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Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

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Disney plans live action fairytales for 2017, 2018 and 2019 - specific films not disclosed

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Moody wonders why American space research firms are jittery (satire)

They had assembled in the chamber of our good friend Moody – there was Hash Budden who looked after science and technology along with Jet Lee, Nitty Gadcurry, Baba Someday, Sue Sharma and even the ladies Uma-jee and Rane-ji.
Hash Budden was excited because news had come about superiority of our scientists – it seems America space giants wants restrictions to be imposed on our space agencies. Obviously, there was fear that products like Mangalyaan could spell doom for their pet projects related to space exploration.
Hash Budden had the newspaper clipping with him and he handed it to Moody who read it and reached for his intercom.
‘Get me Williams,’ Moody spoke into the intercom.

‘You mean Prince William?’ Moody’s PA asked. ‘He has already left.’
‘I know. I mean the Williams girl from Gujarat,’ Moody said.
His PA scratched his head, unable to pinpoint the individual who the Boss wanted to talk to.
‘Arrey, I want that Williams who had gone to space,’ Moody clarified.
‘Oh, you mean the astronaut Sue Neeta Williams who had come to visit us?’
‘Yes, I want to talk to her. She must be knowing what is brewing in space.’
But Sue Neeta was not readily available – she was in the gym and could not be disturbed.
‘Why are the Americans jittery?’ Moody leaned forward and wanted to know from Hash Budden.
‘They are envious of our low cost satellites and other space items. They feel we will spoil their lucrative business.’
‘I knew this would happen,’ Moody turned to Baba Someday. ‘Our forefathers invented the pushpak rath long before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane. Remember Ravana who kidnapped Sita Mata and flew off to Sri Lanka in his airborne chariot?’
‘Yes,’ Baba Someday stroked his beard and muttered. ‘Not just the flying chariot but we discovered the zero.’
‘And,’ Nitty Gadcurry added. ‘Some of our people have already settled on the Moon.’
‘You mean the Malayalees and the Coorgis?’ Sue Sharma asked.
‘Yes,’ Gadcurry elaborated. ‘There are Malayalees who have set up facilities for remolding of tyres. Then there are the Kamats who have established outlets for idli, and dosa. And our Gujju friends who are ready with their dhoklas.’
Moody looked hard at Gadcurry.
‘How authentic is your information?’ Moody asked.
‘Hundred percent,’ Niity smiled. ‘Baba Someday will vouch for me. He makes regular visits to the Moon to train his boys for our Mars mission.’
‘But then, how is it that the American astronauts who had landed on the Moon did not see these men?’
‘They must have landed on the wrong face of the Moon,’ Hash Budden explained. ‘The Moon like everything else has two faces.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody gives Sue Sharma a chance to go abroad (satire)

Moody is seldom in any dilemma. He is always one step ahead of others and has mastered the art of always being in the limelight. But, there comes a time in the life of every man when he finds himself at the crossroads and has to make a judicious decision.
Therefore it came to pass that he called in his elite group of most trusted lieutenants and announced his decision. ‘I think Sue Sharma will be the best choice,’ he said.
Sue Sharma appeared surprised while Jet Lee and Nitty Gadcurry exchanged glances and Baba Someday looked at Ranee-ji and Uma-ji and shrugged his shoulders.
‘Yes,’ Moody clarified. ‘I will be busy with my tours to the states because my voice can win over the people from there into our camp. I want to see lotuses flourish everywhere.’

‘And – Sue Sharma-ji will make the trips to follow up the latest development on the port in Iran and also have talks with the leaders behind the bamboo curtain on terrorism, right?’ Jet Lee asked.
‘Yes,’ Moody said. ‘Only – Sue-ji must wear something that does not hurt the feelings of our hosts. They are very conservative, especially with their attire.’
‘The women there cover their body from head to toe with their unique dress. And – the cover must include the hair also.’
‘I know,’ Sue Sharma said. ‘I’ll never wear anything that will harm our interests. I, like all of us here, want good relation with everybody. I will be a brand ambassador for our country and will always have an eye open for business potentials.’
‘Yes – keep in mind our buzzwords,’ Moody reminded. ‘Skill, digital, swatchh, make - and, it all has to do with our country. We want to shed all the earlier tags and prosper.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Sue assured. ‘I know the tricks of the trade.’
‘The bamboo curtain people are two faced,’ Moody cautioned. ‘They lost out on the bullet train and are trying to twist our arm on the terrorism affair.’
‘I will take care of that,’ Sue smiled. ‘I can put a spoke in their plans to market their cheap decorative garlands this Diwali.’
‘Yes,’ Baba Someday was all ears. ‘I have set up a separate factory to manufacture those multicolored garlands and the products will hit the markets before Diwali. I can easily ease out foreign competition.’
When Sue Sharma left the chamber, she was in high spirits. At last she was getting some sort of recognition. Probably her boss was tired of spending his days and nights cooped up in the aircraft on the tarmac. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Moody’s policy – love thy neighbor (satire)

Moody’s policy – love thy neighbor (satire) Moody is a very religious leader – he follows all the rituals dutifully and when the situation demands, he can remain active as always on just a few glasses of water. It was all thanks to the discipline and yoga – both are necessary to take care of uncertainties.
But – the behavior of his neighbor had him totally confused even though his policy is ‘love thy neighbor’.
That is why he had sent an urgent SMS to Sue Sharma and Jet Lee – the two individuals who were closest to him. They had heaps of knowledge on anything pertaining to other countries.

‘The sudden about turn of our neighbor is really strange, don’t you think so?’ Moody asked Sue Sharma.
‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘We had high hopes for him. And – the opposition is now saying that the shawl-saree strategy has backfired.’
‘No, I don’t think so,’ Moody shook his head. ‘My poor friend is passing through terrible times. He has few people that he can trust. He was not knowing about that incident in our air force base. I think it was a case of mistaken identity. Something to do with cattle that had crossed the borders and entered our base searching for fresh grass.’
‘Yes,’ Jet Lee joined the conservation. ‘We can’t blame the poor animals – after all, our side of the border is greener as compared to theirs. And - animals don’t believe in borders and barbed wires. When hungry, they just locate new pastures.’
‘Tell me,’ Moody leaned forward in his chair and asked – ‘how does one define terrorism? Who is a terrorist?’
‘A very tough question,’ Jet Lee cleared his throat and gave a diplomatic reply.
‘I find it difficult to accept the fact that when people are on the give and take concept with regard to shawls and sarees, how can the relationship sour up so soon?’ Sue Sharma commented. ‘There must be something that we are missing.’
‘Exactly,’ Moody heaved a sigh of relief. ‘I want to get to the bottom of this. Let us form a committee to go deep into the matter and find a solution.’
‘I think that would be just fine,’ Jet Lee said. ‘I’ll get it organized.’
‘Also, check up the latest design of pashmina shawls that have come in the market,’ Moody added. ‘I must keep another set ready to gift my neighbor the next time we meet.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Moody learns about the Panama Papers (satire)

It had come like a bolt from the blue and had got Moody worried – it was the Panama Papers scandal and involved innumerable big names from all over the world. Some of them were Big names from the cine world. And – all of them had apparently stashed away millions of their money in this offshore tax haven.
Moody had heard about Panama hats and the Panama Canal and also a cigarette whose brand name was Panama – but, this Panama Papers was a new one.

Suddenly Jet Lee entered his office. He had shed some more weight.
‘What is this Panama Papers leak all about?’ Moody asked him.
‘It is another tax haven,’ Jet Lee replied. ‘Some big names have emerged and they are big enough to take care of themselves.’
‘You mean we do not have to worry?’
‘Yes, sort of,’ Jet Lee assured.
‘I heard some of our movie stars feature in the list,’ Moody said.
‘Well – when they boast of earnings of crores of rupees from every movie, they know how to keep their money secure.’
‘Then how about working out a scheme to make them part with a portion of that money?’
At this point, Baba Someday entered. He looked excited.
‘Have you heard?’ he came up to Moody and asked. ‘First the Swiss banks and now the Panama connection. Achhe Din is fast approaching. I think you can now fulfill your pre-election promise of transferring Rs 35,000 to everybody’s bank account.’
‘Baba-ji, it is not so simple,’ Jet Lee explained. ‘There are lots of formalities and legal hurdles. My boys are already on the job. We will get the money back and happy days will be here again.’
The Panama Papers connection had added yet another dimension to the hunt for Black Money that Moody has talked about. He had been led to believe that all unaccounted money was hidden in Swiss banks. He had also presumed that those who held money there used to go on Swiss vacations and bring back portions of their ill-gotten gains.
But – it was not a simple affair. He had sent Sue Sharma to try and convince the bankers to part with the information and she came back with a list of a few hundred when the expectation was in millions. Moody had also sent Jet Lee on the mission and he himself was always trying to bring up the subject at every forum. However, the expectation of quick results did not materialize and, his promises of acche din kept going out of reach. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

A single video derails Didi’s poll campaign (satire)

Today’s world is too fast paced for comfort and, with video enabled Smartphones in practically every pocket, the world is flooded with videos of a wide variety from monkeys jumping the hoop to politicians getting caught in dangerous loops.
That is how a single video has derailed what should have been a smooth poll campaign.
And, Didi was not at all happy. She is known for her high level of honesty and, therefore, when she first saw it, she just could not believe her eyes. How can her trusted companions pull the rug from under her feet?
She immediately rang up Patro Chatto.
‘What is the latest?’ she asked.
‘There is utter confusion,’ Patro said.
‘The opposition must be happy at this video,’ she commented.
‘Don’t you worry,’ Patro assured. ‘It is acting as a diversion. Every party is trying to take credit in trying to discredit us but, they can never succeed. We have our Money Rule, Arra Bull and Anu Mandel.’

Didi sighed. She had faith in Patro Chatto and Omit Misra but she could sense some uneasiness in Patro’s assurances. So, she rang up to Omit Misra.
‘Omit-babu, how is your balance sheet shaping up?’ she asked.
‘The task of balancing is a tough one,’ he admitted. ‘Even more difficult than that of an acrobat on the rope.’
Didi was getting in a panic. In desperation, she now rang up Moody in Delhi.
But – he was busy with his Tussauds waxworks. He was excited like a child with a new toy. There were photographers all over his office with his PRO man in tow along with his fashion designer. They were arguing as to what dress would be most appropriate for the wax display. They had to keep in mind the latest modification from above – no half pant. Half pant does not look good in the international arena. Will khadi send out the right signal or should it be the gold embroidered one?
Failing to contact Moody, our Didi, therefore, tried to get in touch with Jet Lee.
She knew that Jet Lee will come up with a solution – but, he was in a holiday mood. There was a long weekend ahead with Holi and Easter and he had planned for a short trip away from the madding crowd. It seems he had not confided to even his close circle of friends about where he was going.
Didi sighed and looked out of the window. She was in the north for her campaign and looked out of her window at the mountains - they were laughing. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody wants to see smiling faces all around (satire)

It was a tough job to tackle growing menace of people who should keep their mouths shut but, no matter how he reacted, Moody discovered that there will always be people who spew venom and he had to rein in such rowdy elements. That was his agenda of the day and, in order to assist him in his exercise, he had with him the brains - on top of the list were his trusted lieutenants Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Banka Nadoo, Nitty Gadcurry and Rajanna King.
‘I pity the young man,’ Moody chuckled to himself. ‘He should know that little knowledge is a dangerous thing.’
‘It is a result of faulty upbringing,’ Banka Nadoo said. ‘Empty vessels make most sound.’
‘Yes,’ Sue Sharma agreed. ‘I felt pity for the kid. He was tying himself up into knots.’

‘Of course he had a purpose,’ Jet Lee sounded serious. ‘He was, no doubt, playing to the galleries but the galleries were empty. He is moving ahead. He has changed over time and will be fun to play around with.’
Moody looked at Rajanna King who was playing the role of a silent spectator.
‘What is your opinion?’ Moody asked him directly.
‘We should take a proper decision,’ he said.’ We must not rush into anything. It may boomerang as we have seen with that other kid.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Moody was calm. ‘That is a passing phase. Our people are there and they know how to tackle such situations. Youngsters will shout their heads off and we, as seniors, can keep a watch on developments. Talking about developments – where has your river linking project come Gadcurry-ji?’
‘Actually Uma-ji is deep into her Ganga cleaning activities and I am waiting for her feedback on how deep the water is. Once I get that feedback, I will plan my routes. Varanasi will, of course, be in the center of activities.’
“And – center of attraction,’ Moody reminded. ‘It will undergo sea change and become a mini Japanese city. Our friends in the land of the rising Sun are excited.’
‘I know,’ Nitty Gadcurry said. ‘Bullet and Varanasi are our trump cards. Folks from behind the bamboo curtain are unhappy but we cannot please everybody, can we?’
‘The black money is a tricky issue,’ Jet Lee admitted. ‘Baba Someday is also unhappy. He had expected that the money would roll in and fill our coffers but, that is not happening.’
Moody became philosophical.
‘We all know that Rome was not built in a day,’ he said. ‘We must have patience. We have many more miles to go. This is not the end of the world. I want to see smiling faces all around me. Let us smile for a selfie.’ (to be continued …)


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Moody’s train on track – no increase in fares (satire)

It was a Big Day for not only Moody but all his men and women – it was the day when Soo Race Babu would be the center of attraction because he would open his magic box and bring out one after another goodies for the common man.
It was budget day for the railways and Moody had given strict instructions that increase in fares must not be on the agenda. If the minister needed money to run the trains, he would have to arrange it on his own.
Poor Soo Race Babu was confused when he had met Moody before drafting his budget.
‘Unless I can generate the funds, how will the railways survive?’ he had asked.

‘Think up alternate methods,’ Moody was blunt. ‘I do not want to add to the burden of the common man. They have brought us to power and must be respected.’
‘Yes,’ Jet Lee added. He was also present in the meeting. ‘Boss is right. It is better not to talk about any increase right now.’
Nitty Gadcurry smiled. He always had a ready smile on his lips and loved to share it whenever he got the chance.
‘Money is never any problem Babu-ji,’ he said. ‘Very soon bullets will speed through our countryside. The railways we have right now are ancient and once the bullets run, money will roll in.’
Poor Babu was still not convinced.
‘I want to introduce new trains,’ he said. ‘I have also coined new names because that is the tradition.’
‘That is a good idea,’ Moody looked sat him. ‘What names have you thought of?’
‘One of our previous ministers had dreamt up the ‘garib rath’ or the chariot of the poor. Then there was another one who had introduced the ‘duronto’ or wild. I want to do something similar.’
‘No one is stopping you,’ Moody said. ‘But – remember, no increase in fares.’
‘I want to introduce bio-toilets in the coaches and I want to have provision of supply of milk for children.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Nitty Gadcurry remarked. ‘We could ask Pat & Jolie to supply pure milk from his farm.’
‘Yes, that also is a good idea,’ Moody agreed. ‘But, no increase in fares. I am against that.’
Soo Race Babu threw up his hands in despair.
‘How can my projects go ahead minus funds?’
‘There is a time and place for everything,’ Moody said.
‘What it means is that you can do that exercise after a couple of months,’ Nitty Gadcurry explained under his breath.
Suddenly, Babu’s face lit up. He smiled. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Moody was, as always, serious and in a thoughtful mood. He had realized that yoga is the be-all and end-all and it can wow the world as it has already done. But, in order to ensure that the memories and euphoria do not vanish, he had to revive interest in this ancient form of art that is unique to our culture.
Yes, no matter what people may say, yoga is an art.
It had been practiced by the sages of yore – and, since doctors were unheard of in the days of Ramayana and Mahabharata, yoga was the only medicine to cure all ills from indigestion to broken arms.
Suddenly the door opened a fraction of an inch and Hash Budden peeped in – he was a doctor by profession and was responsible for looking after various aspects of health. Along with him was Baba Someday – a very busy man who was adept at balancing his interests in both yoga and business.
Moody waved them in.
‘Have you worked out a strategy?’ he wanted to know.

‘We will make it a bigger affair,’ Baba Someday said. ‘My Pat & Jolie will provide all refreshments right from pure milk to crisp salted biscuits and instant noodles.’
‘Good,’ Moody nodded. ‘We want to project our indigenous products to the world and the yoga meet will be an opportunity.’
‘Who knows, someone might want to import them’ Baba Someday said. ‘After all no one can deny the health benefits of Pat & Jolie foodstuffs.’
‘I think we should invite some dignitary to be the Guest of Honor on the occasion,’ Hash Budden suggested. ‘Like we did in the R-Day.’
‘I also was thinking about it,’ Moody said. ‘Any ideas?’
Before Hash Budden could reply, Sue Sharma entered with Jet Lee. Sue Sharma looked to be excited about something.
‘We have a couple of ideas for the Yoga Meet,’ Jet Lee said. ‘If you can spare a few minutes, the lady can get it off her chest.’
‘Go ahead, I am all attention,’ Moody said.
‘I just now got a call from the land of the Eskimos,’ Sue Sharma began. ‘The lady spoke in broken English and wanted to know when you would go to visit them.’
Moody was taken aback.
‘Why should I go to visit them?’ he asked. ‘What can they offer us except polar bear furs or seal skins or penguins? I don’t think any of those would be useful.’
‘Moody-ji,’ Hash Budden intervened. ‘It is a God-sent opportunity we cannot miss.’
‘Please explain.’
‘Why don’t we invite the Eskimos for the yoga meet? Their leader could be the Guest of Honor.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Moody’s Ministry of Missing Indians (satire)

Moody was in consultation with his close associates Jet Lee, Nitty Gadcurry, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Pro Cash and Banka Nadoo. The subject was that of setting up a separate ministry to take care of missing Indians. ‘In my opinion, it should be a part and parcel of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs,’ Jet Lee said.
‘I know,’ Moody agreed. ‘That is what we have been doing till now. Sue Sharma has done a good job and we are proud of the fact.’
‘Yes,’ Banka Nadoo nodded. ‘But that girl she brought in has not yet been identified in spite of the media coverage.’ ‘That is her bad luck,’ Hash Budden said. ‘She is disabled, she cannot speak. Still we have tried.’
‘One family claimed that she was their long lost daughter but DNAs did not match,’ Moody was worried. ‘I do not want such things to happen again. I want positive results, not halfhearted attempts.’

It was at this moment that the door opened and Sue Sharma entered – the large bindi glowed bright on her forehead.
‘You sent for me?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ Moody looked up. ‘That girl you had brought in – has her family been traced?’
‘No – there are several families who have laid claims. My staff are trying their best to ensure that the poor girl gets back her rightful place in society.’
‘And, how many such cases do you have on hand?’ ‘Quite a few. People go to other countries in search of jobs and get lost. Then there are NRIs who come here, get married and vanish. And, people who are already working abroad and suddenly there is no trace of them. Rumors are there that they have been killed in terror activities. My ministry is overloaded with such cases.’
‘Obviously, you have a lot to do,’ Nitty Gadcurry commented.
‘That is why I called you,’ Moody said. ‘I was wondering whether we should have a separate ministry to attend to such cases.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Sue Sharma murmured. She was the Foreign Minister but, when the Boss grabs all opportunities of foreign travel, she has to be content with smaller countries nearer home.
‘We will call it the Ministry of Missing Indians,’ Moody said.
‘OK,’ Sue Sharma nodded. If she was made in-charge, she could get more chances to travel to follow up those cases.
‘I would like to make a point,’ Jet Lee cleared his throat.
‘Yes?’ Moody looked at him.
‘Modify it to ‘Missing Indians and Money,’ Jet Lee replied. ‘The new department could also pursue the cases of black money.’
‘Good idea,’ Moody agreed. ‘Both are important for us and will endear us to the masses. We must always have their interests uppermost in our mind.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Moody was excited but, as is his rule, he maintained a straight face. It was the prediction of a learned astrologer that had sent him soaring to cloud nine. He had appeared in his sleep, that too in early morning with the message – ‘go after get Big Daddy, you are sure to get him’.
And, it is said that such early morning visions are always good omen.
‘You seem to be happy,’ his right hand man Jet Lee said. He had followed Moody into the chamber.
‘Have you ever seen me unhappy?’ Moody shot back.
‘With so much worries, no one is happy,’ Jet Lee philosophized.
‘I have always been an exception,’ Moody said. ‘I am setting new trends. I want tigers and cows to drink water from the same waterhole.’
‘I know,’ Jet Lee said. ‘With Big Brother retiring next year, how will you handle the super powers?’
‘Right now I want to handle another Big name,’ Moody said.
‘How big?’
‘Very big. He is Big Daddy who has unleashed terror in the world. None of the super powers have been able to rein him in.’

‘You mean the man who loves to behead people and get the process videoed?’
‘Yes. The super powers have launched airstrikes on his bases. They have sent drones to hunt him down. But he is sitting pretty. He has evaded every super power. I want him eliminated.’
‘That is a good idea,’ Jet Lee said.
‘What idea are you talking about?’ Sue Sharma asked as she entered.
‘The idea to eliminate Big Daddy,’ Jet Lee explained. ‘We will succeed where others have failed.’
‘Yes. We have shown our might to the world in the R-Day parade and we can do what others have failed to do.’
Pyari Kar and Vicky Singh joined the group. Moody had called them in. They were his defense experts.
‘Have you decided on which weapons you will use?'
‘We have our very own fighter aircraft and missiles.’
‘But – Big Daddy has fought off all those weapons. We must take him by surprise in his den. We must go in for unconventional weapons.’
‘You mean hypnotism?’
‘Well – that is an idea. But, I have an even better one.’
‘We could go in for the boomerang,’ Pyari Kar suggested. ‘Or – even develop a Sudarshan Chakra.’
‘We do not have that much time,’ Moody said. ‘I suggest a team of archers – armed with bows and arrows. Followed by teams of lathi (stick) wielding men. The lathi is a formidable weapon in trained hands, they can overpower any army.’
‘Right,’ Jet lee nodded. ‘Lord Rama used his bow and arrows to defeat the demon king Ravana – we can also do the same.’
‘Yes,’ Pyari Kar agreed. ‘Big Daddy is the Ravana of today.’
Moody heaved a sigh of relief and reached for the customary plates of dhokla and gathias. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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