Moody learns about honey traps (satire)

Even after being in office for more than two years, Moody still finds himself as helpless as a fish out of the water. He is now admired all over the world as a leader who can make things happen and the world listens to him when he talks.
But – he appears to have failed in his attempts to woo over one of his neighbors. He began with exchange of gifts and followed it up with a sudden visit. Unfortunately, his efforts have not borne any fruit.
Suddenly his hot line rang. It was his friend Bee Rack O’Vama.
‘Hi,’ he greeted Moody. ‘I hear you want Na Buzz to dance to your tune.’
‘I am a great dance master,’ Moody said. ‘I can do the garba and bhangra and the kathak. Wherever I go, I don their dresses and make them dance to my tunes. I have mastered the art. But – I wonder why I am unable to get Na Buzz fall in line.’
‘You must cultivate the art of honey traps,’ Bee Rack said. They will always pay dividends.’

‘Honey traps?’ Moody was surprised. ‘Actually, honey is a different matter altogether. My trusted friend Baba Someday is a master in extracting honey from unwilling bees – he makes the world’s best honey.’
‘Honey trap has no relation with bees.’
‘Then?’
‘It is a method to influence stubborn people, especially politicians,’ Bee Rack explained. ‘Those who set the traps are experts and level of satisfaction is of a very high order.’
‘I’ll ask my men to get more information on this.’
‘I think Emma Melanie could help you out,’ Bee Rack said. ‘She will know some of the tricks. A good student of honey trap must be a good actor and you have quite a few actors in your fold.’
Bee Rack hung up and Moody asked his secretary to send in Pyari Kar, Sue Sharma, Ranee-ji and Emma Melanie.
Since his worries were centered on Na Buzz, he wanted his foreign team for brainstorming. He must recreate a sense of bonhomie with his hard-to-get neighbor. And, if a suitable honey trap could be set up to snare him, it would solve plenty of problems.
When they were all seated, Moody looked up.
‘Have you heard about honey traps?’ he asked.
His audience squirmed uneasily in their seats.
‘If you have not heard then search and get the information,’ Moody said. ‘Then let us plan to set a honey trap.’ Suddenly Baba Someday burst into the room – perspiration glistening on his body.
‘This is not right Moody-ji,’ he complained. ‘You are discussing honey and have forgotten me who is master in all aspects of honey from honey bees to honeymoon.’
‘We are discussing honey traps,’ Moody said with a straight face.
‘What is that?’
‘Yes. That is what we are trying to find out.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Didi meets Puja organisers and outlines her do's and dont's

Researchers unearth reasons of why people snore

Population of blackbuck in Bareilly district have fallen by more than 71% in three years


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi to search for the stolen gold medallion (satire)

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)


Man slips while watching bull running in Spain and gored to death

Suicide bomb and gun attacks in northwestern Pakistan leave at least 13 dead

Explosion in a street market in Philipines kills at least 12


MTV's Video Music Awards in New York - Beyonce walked away with top honours

Sonakshi Sinha breaks bones and throws punches in Akira

Lindsay Lohan wants to participate in a Russian talk show with President Putin

Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Moody was all praises for the participants of the 2016 Rio Olympics but was saddened at the lack of gold medals – gold is the accepted recognition and when tiny nondescript countries can boast of a crop of gold, such is not the case with Moody’s land of several billion.
Moody therefore called in his team of specialists – Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Uma-ji, Ranee-ji, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Emma Melaney, Pro Cash, Banka Nadoo and Rum Mudda. Each of them was a gem and could contribute to the cause.
‘Koel-ji,’ Moody looked towards Vee Jay Koel who had a close association with the Olympics team in Rio. ‘You have seen the Olympics from very close quarters. What is your impression? Why could others bag so many gold but not us?’ ‘It is their attitude,’ Koel-ji said. ‘They train from the KG stage – and aim for the gold.’
‘Why can’t we do it here?’ Moody asked.
‘Who said we can’t?’ Koel retorted.
‘Then let us do it,’ Moody said. ‘All the heads are here today and we can work out a strategy.’
‘We could concentrate on swimming,’ Koel-ji said. ‘Our children swim to their schools and there is a cry to build bridges to cross the rivers. I think we should not do that.’
‘Nonsense,’ Moody said. ‘We must look after their welfare. They are our assets.’
‘I know,’ Koel-ji smiled. ‘We will give them swimwear and encourage them to swim to school. Give award to kids who prove their stamina.’

Jet Lee now cleared his throat.
‘Actually, here our farmers toil in the fields to grow crops – but, that does not get us any gold,’ he said. ‘We must train them to always have the concept of gold in front of their eyes.’
‘I can help in this respect,’ Baba Someday intervened.
‘Let us hear your idea,’ Moody glanced towards the shiny black beard of the Baba.
‘I can rename the fertilizers as Gold fertilizers,’ he said. ‘And my ad pitch for it would be – use bags of Gold to bag Olympics Gold.’
It was now the turn of Pro Cash to have his say. He was the man responsible to develop human resources.
‘In my opinion, we have a brilliant pool of gold medalists who break their heads to unearth IT solutions,’ Pro Cash said. ‘They are in great demand abroad. It is difficult for them to divert their attention to Olympics Gold.’ Moody laughed.
‘Exceptions can always emerge,’ he said. ‘There are engineers who are stars in cricket. Then why can’t a gold medalist in computers bag a gold in shooting? That does not require physical strength like in boxing or wrestling or in gymnastics or in marathon running.’
Pro Cash gulped.
‘I think we can take inspiration from some famous songs,’ Emma Melaney said. ‘Songs like ‘mera dharti sona ugle, ugle heera moti …’
‘Let me make it clear,’ Moody spoke again. ‘We must reverse the trend. I want our sportspersons to bag golds – one for each state.’(to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Cannes bans burkinis on its beaches due to terror threats

Street vendors in Bengaluru want to remain open and do business till 1am

Karnataka bans selfies in specific tourist spots like waterfalls, dams, cliffs etc


Didi’s naughty boys tie her up in knots (satire)

Lord Shiva loves and enjoys dancing (satire)

Moody discusses women’s fashion with Baba Someday (satire)


War waged on ISIS by the US and UK has destroyed 26000 targets

France to impart lessons in schools on survival techniques in case of ISIS attacks

Suspected chlorine gas attack in Aleppo kill at least four


Action hero and Rustom star Akshay Kumar talks about daredevil stunts

'Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah' crosses 2000 episodes - enters Limca Book of Records

Next James Bond movie would not come before 2018

Lord Shiva is a confused man of Mount Kailash (satire)

Lord Shiva, sitting in Mount Kailash, was a confused individual. He had his own worries about getting a new set of clothes but tigers were at a premium, as were their skins. He was, therefore, forced to don imitation tiger skins.
Durga did not miss the signs. She knew that the Lord was annoyed. So, she sidled up to him, humming a popular tune under her breath.
Lord Shiva looked up and moved aside to make room for her to sit down.
‘What’s biting you now?’ Durga asked.
‘I am confused,’ he said.
‘We all are,’ Durga said. ‘Unless there is confusion, no one gets noticed.’
‘Tell me – our friend Moody is inviting foreigners to come here and set up business. His buzzword is ‘Make in India’, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘And – side by side, the Pat & Jolie outfit of Baba Someday is promoting his own products. He says foreign goods are no good, go for my brands. He started with honey and is now rolling in money. His beard has got a new shine.’

‘He is doing it for charity,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘At least that is what he keeps harping on in each of his advertisements.’
‘He is making it clear that he is not benefiting at all. He is doing it for a good a noble cause – to promote homemade products.’
‘Then there is that woman Ranee-ji – she wants women to wear khadi sarees. Tell me – how many women wear sarees today. All I see are girls and women in jeans and skirts. Some even in swim suits. That has become today’s dress code.’
‘Don’t lose your sleep over such trifles. All of them are right in their own ways,’ Durga said.
‘You mean the British will come here and weave khadi, make designer clothes out of that and sell them? And, the Swiss will come here to make chocolates and export them?’
‘Very possible,’ Durga said. ‘And – I believe people will come from Zimbabwe to make artificial tiger skins. You will then get a better quality of substitute.’
Lord Shiva did not have a ready answer to that one. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Theresa May to pay upto £13,000 to families who stay on sources of shale gas

Vadodara museum bans entry of Pokemon GO players in its premises

India in 2016 Rio Olympics - both Sania Mirza and Leander Paes bow out in first stage itself


Moody’s solution for dental care – eat drumsticks (satire)

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)

Didi to gift pepper spray to all girls (satire)


Syrian city of Aleppo falls into hands of rebels and jihadists

North Korea plans to conquer the Moon in 10-year's time

One ISIS suicide bomber of Brussels attack was a cleaner at the European Parliament


Rajinikanth’s Kabali sets a box office record with Rs 600-crore collection

Edinburgh Festival 2016 will have programs on current politics from Brexit to Trump

Shah Rukh Khan could make a movie on tennis star Sania Mirza

Moody embraces yoga, his medics could embrace poverty (satire)

The international day of yoga was a feather in the cap of not only Moody but of all his ministers because, at long last, the whole world has realized that in spite of reported starvation deaths, in spite of suicides of farmers, in spite of an uneducated mass who love open air toilets, there is enough reason to rejoice. Yoga has taken the world by storm and Moody has people eating out of his hands.
As he mused over how to expand the new found yoga base, his phone rang. It was Raneeji – the woman who used to be a TV star but who changed tracks in time and is now the minister who looks after education.
‘I have given the matter some thought,’ she said. ‘The world needs education. Yoga does not mean just exercises but each pose has to be understood. And – I have drawn up a list of people who can be sent to educate others.’
‘But – I wanted Baba Someday to do this,’ Moody said. ‘He has experienced people.’
‘I am thinking globally. Woman power is the need of the hour and I have in mind a team of woman yoga experts,’ Ranee-ji replied. ‘Our message must go out to all corners of the world. Everyone needs to appreciate the importance of yoga. My people have created handbooks and video cassettes that we will distribute during teaching sessions.’

‘Good work,’ Moody said. ‘Make it a compulsory part of education. Announce prizes. That sort of incentives will work wonders.’
As he replaced the receiver, his health minister Jaypee Gadda entered with Hash Budden, his earlier health minister. Both were serious.
‘Any problems?’ Moody enquired.
‘Our profession is at peril,’ Gadda murmured. ‘If yoga can cure diabetes, what will the doctors do? And – the nutritionist? They cannot just close down their chambers.’
‘Yes,’ Hash Budden added. ‘To earn the degree, one has to spend money, study, practice dissections with corpses. And - to set up practice they have to invest lakhs of rupees. Yoga will see them on the streets.’
Moody grinned.
‘Don’t panic,’ he assured. ‘I know all the ins and outs. There are many areas other than diabetes where the doctor is indispensable like road accidents, bride burnings and acid attacks. Doctors will never starve.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

HTT-40, India's homegrown basic trainer aircraft, to debut in Aero India 2017

Maithon Dam to be venue for kayaking and canoeing national championships

KVIC brings out Yogasutra, clothes made of khadi for yoga exercises


Moody’s whirlwind trip - five countries in six days (satire)

Didi’s Delhi dreams – from telebhaja to aloo chat (satire)

All about chest size and happy days (satire)


Christina Grimmie shot dead by unidentified gunman in Florida

TE3N first day box office collection of Rs 2.61 crores in India fails to impress

Sonu Nigam opens up on technology and modern day music


Suicide bomb attacks by Taliban kill more than 20 in Afghanistan

Two brothers arrested from Long Island - another possible massacre prevented

Delhi police unearths a kidney transplant racket - arrests kingpin from Kolkata

Moody’s whirlwind trip - five countries in six days (satire)

From the general perception of people, a few traits have emerged that would tend to describe our friend Moody as a man who loves to travel. He does have ministers who are assigned to look after external affairs but Moody is very particular about his foreign contacts. He, therefore, relies on no one else but himself to draw up his strategies.
He had called for a meeting with his trusted ministers and accordingly they had arrived. There was Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Banka Nadoo, Emma Melanie, Nitty Gad Curry, Ranee-ji, Uma-ji and, of course, Baba Someday.
‘We wish you a happy journey,’ Sue Sharma said at the end of the meeting.
‘Thank you,’ Moody relied.
‘I hope you will take good care of your health,’ Emma Melanie said. ‘You have a very hectic schedule ahead of you with the Yoga Day appearing. I will be presenting a new form of dance with my group on the occasion.’

‘You mean the Yogi dance?’ Ranee-ji asked in a whisper.
‘Yes,’ Emma also lowed her voice.
‘And then there are the two most important points,’ Baba Someday reminded.
‘You mean Black money?’
‘Yes,’ Baba wiped his moustaches. ‘You had committed to get them back and I was confident that you would. But – time is passing and there is not much progress.’
‘We are already in dialogue with the foreign authorities,’ Jet Lee intervened.
‘You are talking like your predecessors,’ Baba was not convinced.
At last Moody spoke.
‘I have my priorities,’ he said. ‘Right now I am on a mission to invite business. I want foreigners to come here and make their products. I also want our products to flood the world markets. Baba here has already made a wonderful start and, during my visit, I’ll pursue this point also.’
‘I’ll get some samples of honey loaded in your plane,’ Baba said.
‘You don’t have to worry about that,’ Moody said. ‘My men have already got them loaded in the plane. Remember, I am running the country and I know what is best.’
‘Have you loaded some bottles of Gangajal?’ Uma-ji wanted to know.
‘Yes. I’ll distribute the samples to Indians in those countries. I want to spread the message of goodwill and peace.’ ‘Would you drop in unannounced on any one this time?’ Sue Sharma was curious to know.
‘I might, ‘Moody said. ‘Our neighbor is in hospital with some heart related problem.’
‘He should get a change of heart,’ Sue said. ‘Then there would be real peace in our surroundings.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

World's smallest porpoise of Mexico is on the verge of extinction

Coca-Cola to stop production of its beverage in Venezuela because of sugar shortage

Melting of Totten Glacier due to global warming could raise sea levels by three meters


Moody’s mind flits from Black Money to White House (satire)

Lord Shiva and Durga on home delivery and drones (satire)

Didi plans new conquests via Rabindrasangeet (satire)


Daniel Craig is through with James Bond - turns down £68 million offer from MGM

Snoop Dogg and Lucy Liu will be seen together in thriller 'Future World'

Kavita Kaushik to play the role of an Army doctor in TV show “Dr. Bhanumati on Duty”


Was the EgyptAir crash an act of terrorism by the ISIS?

Suicide bombings in Baghdad kill 43 - brings total death in 7 days to more than 145

One more Chibok girl rescued - she was kidnapped along with 275 others in April 2014

Moody and University degrees (satire)

Moody was in discussion with people who mattered to him – he had Ranee-ji, Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Banka Nadoo and Nitty Gadcurry. The problem at hand revolved around a University degree and the media had gone to town on the sensitive subject.
‘What does it matter if a leader has a degree or not?’ Moody looked at Ranee-ji who had proved her worth in handling several issues in universities and the student community.
‘If you ask me, what matters is whether the leader knows important facts like the location of New York and London and Paris and Moscow,’ she answered. ‘And, once there, he should be able to impress the foreigners with the great heritage that we have.’

‘It is knowledge that matters,’ Sue Sharma had her say.
‘Then why such a fuss?’ Moody appeared annoyed. ‘There are thousands of instances where kids worked in chai shops and later became important personalities.’
‘You are absolutely right,’ Jet Lee said. ‘And not just here in India but abroad also. I had seen a report of a school boy studying under the light reflected from a pizza joint.’
‘I think we must introduce some sort of legislation about degrees and leaders,’ Moody murmured. ‘They must be delinked. Those who have degrees can go in for teaching in schools and colleges and leave non-degree holders to look after the well-being of the country and its people.’
‘You do have a point,’ Ranee-ji agreed. ‘Just imagine – did the bright men and women of IITs ever think about ideas like Skill India, Digital India, Make in India, Smart Cities and Clean Ganga Mission? No – those were brainwaves of a common man like you.’
‘I agree with Ranee-ji,’ Nitty Gadcurry said. ‘No one needs any fancy degree to think big. It comes from experience.’
‘Like the free LPG to women,’ Banka Nadoo joined in. ‘It was a master stroke. First ask people to surrender their subsidies and then look after the welfare of the poor souls who live below poverty level. My heart bleeds for them when I see them huddled up in roadside shacks trying to escape from the rains. I think we should initiate some projects to house these poor souls – otherwise where will they keep their LPG cylinders?’
‘You have raised a very valid point,’ Moody appreciated the idea. ‘We could do it in the PPP model. Do you know of anyone who could agree to undertake this?’
‘It will depend on whether you want to go to China or Japan.’
‘I think we can identify parties nearer home – they have expertise in low cost housing. China and Japan will prefer to go for nothing lesser than skyscrapers.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Baya weaver birds return to Ganjam district in Odisha

28 thrillseekers stuck in Alton Towers Galactica rollercoaster ride for 40 minutes

Walking is the best exercise in polluted cities


Moody wonders why American space research firms are jittery (satire)

Lord Shiva and Durga on home delivery and drones (satire)

Sujjo Kanto and Ritu Bruto on free LPG connections (satire)


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


Michael Fassbender to portray the role of a serial killer in 'Entering Hades'

Disney plans live action fairytales for 2017, 2018 and 2019 - specific films not disclosed

Matt Damon to return in new Jason Bourne film

Moody and his American connections (satire)

Moody grinned to himself as he remembered the first time he had set foot on American soil. There had been apprehensions about how his visit would turn out but, he need not have worried because Lord Hanuman was a constant companion of the President of the United States. He always carried an idol of Lord Hanuman in his pocket.
Suddenly Sue Sharma entered his cabin.
There was a huge smile on her face and a bunch of newspapers in her hand. It was obvious that she was in good spirits and her health was OK.
‘Have you got the news?’ she asked as she occupied the chair opposite Moody’s.
‘News are always happening,’ Moody said. ‘Including breaking news. Tell me – what is your news about?’
‘Fighter planes,’ Sue Sharma replied.

‘You mean our fighter plane Tejas has found a market?’
‘Not Tejas, I’m talking about the Americans.’
‘Americans? I don’t understand. I’m supposed to go there next month to address their leaders. They want to know our secret of leadership. To them, ours is a one man show. I want to correct that perception.’
‘I’m talking about the fighter planes America was supposed to sell to our neighbor.’
‘Oh that?’ Moody was at ease with himself. ‘You’ll tell me that they have backed out, right?’
‘How did you guess?’ Sue was surprised.
‘I have my methods,’ Moody said. ‘You say they have backed out?’
‘Not exactly backed out but they have put some conditions.’
‘That was my masterstroke,’ Moody said. ‘I had agreed to attend their June event provided they cancelled the deal with our neighbor. I had told them – if you want my advice you must agree to my terms.’
‘And they want your advice badly, right?’
‘Yes, the tea shop is a wonderful platform for learning the nitty gritty of politics. I should know.’
‘That is why the Bengalis are so politically conscious,’ Sue added. ‘They have tea shops at every street corner. And – the kids graduate from those tea shops to coffee house’
Suddenly the door opened and Emma Melaney entered with Ranee-ji and Uma-ji in tow.
‘Have you heard the latest?’ Emma asked.
‘You mean about our Bollywood actress who got invited by the President to his dinner?’
‘Who told you?’
‘I have my methods,’ Moody said. ‘It is linked to fighters.’
‘Fighter planes,’ Sue added. ‘Fighter planes and neighbors. Our Boss knows just how to keep them in their places. It’s all about the right connections.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Sujjo Kanto and Ritu Bruto on free LPG connections (satire)

It was a closed door meeting of the new kids on the block. They were excited because they could feel the wind blowing in their favor. It was getting clear from the way Didi was ranting and pacing the dais of her meeting with the masses. There was anger in her pose and voice.
The venue was jam-packed with women and children but, from the expression on their faces, it looked as if they were not much interested in the figures that Didi was belting out.
‘I think we need to draw up some strategies that will pay rich dividends,’ Sujjo Kanto said.

‘Yes,’ Audi Choudy agreed. ‘Our ideas must be to generate employment for the masses. And, invite industries to return.’
‘We could consider going solar,’ Ritu Bruto said. ‘That is the latest craze. The e-boats launched in Varanasi is the best example. They are pollution free, safe and clean. And – the new generation of boatmen can remain connected to their smart phones and tabs.’
Momad Sulley smiled.
‘That Moody character is real smart,’ he said. ‘He is winning over the people who matter. His free LPG to the poor women is another beauty. He has handed out cardboard replicas and the real stuff will follow.’
‘I agree with you,’ Sujjo Kanto said. ‘But – many of these poor women do not have any roof over their heads. They do not have any permanent address. How will the gas company maintain records?’
‘They will develop the skills via Skill India programs,’ Ritu Bruto said.
‘These women usually toil throughout the day and engage in menial jobs to earn money and augment the family income,’ Sujjo Kanto went on. ‘They are used to fuels like dry sticks, wood and cow dung cakes. Now, they will cook their meals on LPG stoves.’
‘Yes, these are the forerunners of Achhe Din,’ Momad Sulley added. ‘Where there is a will, there is a way. We must not under estimate the women who would get the free LPG connection. They will have to cultivate the habit of protecting the gas stove from rains. They will have to ensure that rats do not gnaw way the rubber tube.’
‘I heard that Moody’s boys are organizing special classes to train the new entrants into the world of cooking on gas,’ Audi Choudy sad. ‘His minister Ranee-ji has taken the task on her shoulders. And – she plans to reach out to all new users through weekly radio programs.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Moody wonders why American space research firms are jittery (satire)

They had assembled in the chamber of our good friend Moody – there was Hash Budden who looked after science and technology along with Jet Lee, Nitty Gadcurry, Baba Someday, Sue Sharma and even the ladies Uma-jee and Rane-ji.
Hash Budden was excited because news had come about superiority of our scientists – it seems America space giants wants restrictions to be imposed on our space agencies. Obviously, there was fear that products like Mangalyaan could spell doom for their pet projects related to space exploration.
Hash Budden had the newspaper clipping with him and he handed it to Moody who read it and reached for his intercom.
‘Get me Williams,’ Moody spoke into the intercom.

‘You mean Prince William?’ Moody’s PA asked. ‘He has already left.’
‘I know. I mean the Williams girl from Gujarat,’ Moody said.
His PA scratched his head, unable to pinpoint the individual who the Boss wanted to talk to.
‘Arrey, I want that Williams who had gone to space,’ Moody clarified.
‘Oh, you mean the astronaut Sue Neeta Williams who had come to visit us?’
‘Yes, I want to talk to her. She must be knowing what is brewing in space.’
But Sue Neeta was not readily available – she was in the gym and could not be disturbed.
‘Why are the Americans jittery?’ Moody leaned forward and wanted to know from Hash Budden.
‘They are envious of our low cost satellites and other space items. They feel we will spoil their lucrative business.’
‘I knew this would happen,’ Moody turned to Baba Someday. ‘Our forefathers invented the pushpak rath long before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane. Remember Ravana who kidnapped Sita Mata and flew off to Sri Lanka in his airborne chariot?’
‘Yes,’ Baba Someday stroked his beard and muttered. ‘Not just the flying chariot but we discovered the zero.’
‘And,’ Nitty Gadcurry added. ‘Some of our people have already settled on the Moon.’
‘You mean the Malayalees and the Coorgis?’ Sue Sharma asked.
‘Yes,’ Gadcurry elaborated. ‘There are Malayalees who have set up facilities for remolding of tyres. Then there are the Kamats who have established outlets for idli, and dosa. And our Gujju friends who are ready with their dhoklas.’
Moody looked hard at Gadcurry.
‘How authentic is your information?’ Moody asked.
‘Hundred percent,’ Niity smiled. ‘Baba Someday will vouch for me. He makes regular visits to the Moon to train his boys for our Mars mission.’
‘But then, how is it that the American astronauts who had landed on the Moon did not see these men?’
‘They must have landed on the wrong face of the Moon,’ Hash Budden explained. ‘The Moon like everything else has two faces.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Moody comes face to face with a hijacker in midair (satire)

Moody was off on another of his foreign jaunts and his team of ministers were there at the airport to see him off. Once inside the aircraft, and surrounded by his henchmen and muscle men, he retired to his corner, looked out of the window and watched the ground staff applying finishing touches to the takeoff.
A steward came up with a tray on which was a glass of fresh water. He removed the cover of the glass and stood at attention as Moody picked up the glass, took a sip of pure water and returned the glass.
The purity of the water was certified by the Food and Drinks department.
He now closed his eyes and went over in his mind on what he would do in the course of his visit. Yes, he would ensure meeting NRIs in those places and invite them to return back to India and become a part of his projects. He would also try to influence the leaders to invest in his various drives, especially cleanliness. He will make it a point to extract information on how they keep their surrounding so clean and how their trains are so punctual and how they track down terrorists.

Suddenly his mobile phone rang. It was Sue Sharma on the line.
‘Yes,’ he wanted to know.
‘There has been a hijacking,’ Sue whispered.
‘Any Indians involved?’ Moody asked.
‘So far no news to worry about, but my men are checking up. I’ll keep you informed.’
‘Where did this happen?’
‘In the Middle East. The hijacker wore a suicide vest.’
The aircraft was airborne by now and Moody looked around him. His bodyguards were in their seats and in the yoga mood – they had their eyes closed and were breathing in and out and he could see their chests moving rhythmically.
Moody was happy – everything was going like clockwork.
Suddenly a woman came up to him and Moody was surprised. Except for a few of his ministers like Sue Sharma, Emma Melaney, Uma-ji and Ranee-ji, he tried to avoid coming in close contact with members of the opposite sex.
She smiled at him and sat on one of the empty seats. Moody could see the skirt ride over her knees and he turned his glance away. He was annoyed – his bodyguards should not have allowed her to come into his private area.
‘Hi,’ the girl greeted him. ‘Don’t look at me like that. I’ll not harm you if you listen to me.’
She was speaking in a low tome, just above the whisper.
Moody tried to ignore her.
‘Look at me,’ she said and removed her pullover. Beneath was what looked like a special vest. She now leaned over and smiled. ‘This is a suicide vest I am wearing. I plan to hijack your plane and I want you to help me.’
Moody was sweating by now. He suddenly found that he had lost is voice. He wanted to call out to his bodyguards but they were still in the yoga trance. He tried to get up from his seat but lost his balance – and discovered that he was alone in his cubicle. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Where is my Swatchh Bharat asks Moody (satire)

Moody and his cronies were in a closed door meeting – these meetings are quite common affair but, there is always a veil of secrecy surrounding such meetings and there are strict orders to the media to show a standard video footage where an invariably serious Moody is seen walking in the company of those he trusts most.
This meeting was a very important one because even after 22-months, his programs were not running as he would have wanted to.
‘I hear there is not enough water in many states,’ he looked at Banka Nadoo.
‘You have heard right,’ Banka nodded. ‘It is a perennial problem. People have got used to it.’
‘But non availability of water would spoil the charm of our Swatchh Bharat mission.’

‘The blame lies with the weather,’ Banka replied.
‘Yes,’ Uma-ji supported Banka Nadoo. ‘I am struggling with by huge amount of water and the sudden rains in the mountains are throwing my plans out of gear.’
‘What about our plan to link the rivers?’ Moody looked at Rajiv Rowdy. ‘I thought you would have developed some skills by now in all spheres.’
‘My learning process is on,’ Rajiv flashed his smile. ‘Our engineers are drawing up plans to join the rivers but there are hindrances.’
‘Hindrances?’
‘Yes – there is a body known as the Green body,’ Rajiv explained. ‘They want guarantees for a whole lot of areas like whether floods and droughts will really vanish. Presuming that floods would really vanish, they want us to spell out the disposal action for all the helicopters in the inventory and that are used to carry out aerial surveys of flood affected areas.’
‘That is a good thinking,’ Moody appreciated and looked at Banka. ‘We can constitute a committee to study this in detail.’
‘Yes,’ Banka agreed.
‘By the way, how are the toilets coming up?’
‘My trains will be totally transformed,’ Soo Race Babu said. ‘It will all be converted to bio toilets. No mess anywhere, the train tracks will be clean. My boys are studying with experts of foreign countries on whether we can bring it in the ambit of ‘Make in India’. I have sent teams abroad.’
‘What about public toilets and toilets in schools for girls?’
‘I have added a chapter in all social science books on hygiene,’ Ranee-ji said. ‘It is a compulsory subject and girls are loving the images of toilets in foreign countries. That exposure will make them change their mindsets. I have also asked my ministry to create videos to highlight the advantages of bio toilets and vacuum how to use them.’
‘Wonderful, they will learn to appreciate our efforts,’ Uma-ji added. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

Moody gets a call from Uncle Sam and takes a trip to Mars (satire)

Narad queers the pitch for Didi & Co (satire)


Budget airline from Dubai crashes during landing in Russia - 62 killed

A 1939 Japanese Lilliput robot and Flash Gordon spaceship up for auction

Gujarat Police learn the finer points of crime from hardened criminals


Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'


Clash between people of a Roma settlement of Tula and Russian riot police

President Obama imposes tough sanctions on North Korea

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Moody was on cloud nine – Parliament was in session and, orator that he is and egged on by his own men, he was able to talk down all sections of the opposition.
He now wanted to assess the progress on his pet projects that were to have brought in a sea change in the mindset of his people. Hence his dream projects ‘Skill India’, ‘Digital India’, ‘Swatchh Bharat’, and ‘Namami Gange’.
His backend boys had done a fantastic job by coining sets of words which are impressive no doubt but, how effective were they?
He had called in Banka Nadoo, one of his ministers who is associated with the ‘Swatchh Bharat’ project to get the low down on the latest status.
Moody moved aside the papers on his table and looked at Banka Nadoo.
‘You have already declared the first list of Smart Cities, right?’
‘Yes,’ Banka Nadoo said. ‘The next will also be announced on time.’
‘I believe that our schools now have sufficient toilets?’

Banka Nadoo nodded – actually, he himself was in the dark about how many toilets have sprouted up and who had made them. There was too much overlap of responsibilities. Some of these were to be built by respective municipalities, others by corporate houses.
‘Tell me, we have released a number of animation ads to spread the message of cleanliness. How is the response?’
‘The ads are impressive,’ Banka Nadoo said.
‘How effective are they? Have the children realized that they must wash their hands before taking food?’
‘Yes,’ Banka Nadoo said. ‘Ranee-ji’s ministry has added a compulsory chapter on hand washing in all books. It is made compulsory also.’
‘Good. Have we made enough provision of supplying water?’
‘Water will be no problem. Already we have started action on cleaning the Ganga. Uma-ji is on the job and once Namami Gange is ready, there will be an abundance of water.’
‘Fine,’ Moody appeared to be satisfied. ‘Now you must rope in all the soap companies and ensure that every child gets a monthly quota of soap free of cost to clean their hands before taking food.’
‘But – the soap companies would need some incentive,’ Banka Nadoo said.
‘Talk to our finance men, they will find out some way to compensate them,’ Moody said. ‘We must always keep the health of the Nation uppermost in our mind. The child is the father of the man and its health is our responsibility. I will talk on this subject in my next Monkey Baat.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva does the treadmill as Sarasawti advises students (satire)

Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Didi announces holiday for Maha Shivratri (satire)


Jaipur Railway Station goes solar - will mean annual savings of Rs 7.2 lakh on power bills

Alphonso mango, the King of Fruits, make its appearance in Mumbai

Legalise cannabis and pick up £1bn a year in taxes


Tila Tequila evicted from Celebrity Big Brother because of her praise of Hitler

West Bengal tourism to ride piggy-back on Amitabh Bachhan starrer 'Te3n'

‘Heidi’ based on the children’s novel of 1881 becoming a movie from Hollywood


Russia to train five dolphins for its underwater combat fleet

Iran gets ready to launch its Somorgh missile into outer space

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily