Ronald Grump invites Moody to Las Vegas (satire)

Moody was worried and the phone call came like a breath of fresh air to rekindle hopes of a new bond between him and Ronald Grump, the most powerful man on Earth. There was a big age gap between them and a still yawning chasm of diverse culture. But, Moody knew that he could win over Ronald.
He just need some time to size up his new found ally.
‘Hi Moody,’ Ronald said in a loud voice. ‘How are you this morning? Had a good night’s sleep? Breakfast?’
‘I rise early,’ Moody said. ‘And, I always have sound sleep. I don’t need to count sheep.’
‘I was joking,’ Ronald laughed. ‘You are waking up now and I am going to sleep. It’s the time difference. But, don’t forget – we are friends.’
‘Bahut dhanyabad,’ Moody replied.
‘Danny is bad? Which Danny?’
‘Danny is not bad,’ Moody explained. ‘I said dhanyabad which means thanks. I am counting on you to keep the pests off my back.’

‘Don’t you worry. I have my work cut out. The world will be a better place to live in with me at the helm. I’ll stop outsiders from entering my house. I’ll put up barricades. I’ll send bloodhounds after them.’
‘What do you mean by outsiders?’
‘I don’t need to spell it out. It is obvious, isn’t it? Anyway – I just called to tell you we’ll make a great pair. You and I. We’ll make things happen.’
‘That’ll be great. We must meet and chalk out a plan.’
‘Why don’t you come over and let your hair down? I’ll show you around Las Vegas – you can try your hand at the casino. And – we can have a ball at one of the night clubs,’ Ronald Grump was bubbling with excitement.’
‘Thanks for the offer – but, I am not of that type.’
‘Hey man, it’ll all be discreet,’ Ronald said in a low voice. ‘No one will know. My secret service men are experts, they will keep your media out.’
Moody gulped. He did not have a ready answer – and that has never happened before.
‘Are you afraid that your wife will find out?’
‘She is not of that type,’ Moody said. ‘She has full faith in me.’
‘I am sorry,’ Ronald apologized. ‘When I get bored, I change partners. It makes life interesting. Anyway – I’ll expect you to drop in on me. We’ll change the world.’,br> Next day the telephonic conversation between Moody and Grump was the media headline with speculation on what was discussed. No one will guess the truth. (to be contd …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody in the world of pickpockets and beggars (satire)

Moody had a mission in life – to cleanse society of all evils. He wanted a clean society – clean in all sense right from their toiletry habits to dirtying the pure waters of the Ganga to everything that is black.
The color black signifies all that is bad right from black magic to black money and black market.
The buzzing of the phone brought him back to reality.
It was Ronald Grump on the line.
‘Hi reformist,’ Grump said, ‘how was your New Year Eve?’
‘I beg your pardon,’ Moody cleared his throat, ‘New Year Eve is a western concept, to me it is just one evening like any other evening. Why should there be anything special for that?’

Ronald Grump gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I heard you have tied yourself into knots over your sudden decision to ban notes. Your people are not happy.’
‘They do not realize the amount of thought that had gone into arriving at that decision,’ Moody explained. ‘It was not only to stop corruption in all walks of life but also to plug the loopholes of those who create and store black money.’
‘I believe that you have put a whole lot of people out of business.’
‘Certainly not,’ Moody did not agree. ‘Shopkeepers are shifting over to cashless schemes and embracing e-wallets and debit cards.’
Ronald gave another hearty laugh.
‘My dear reformist – have you not put pickpockets out of business? And the beggars? If there is no loose cash, how will they survive?’
It was now Moody’s turn to laugh.
‘You must understand – the pickpockets and beggars are out of business, I agree. But that is a passing phase. Once they get trained in some trade, they will get regular employment.’
‘What trades?’
‘My cabinet is working out the details,’ Moody was not one to be hurried. ‘I am creating a new Ministry – the Ministry of Pickpockets & Beggars. It will carry out a census and keep a count of all PP & Bs and, each of them will get a one-time grant of Rs 1000 as a goodwill gesture.’
Ronald Grump laughed.
‘You mean the pickpockets and beggars will have a change of heart and mend their ways with that?’
‘Yes, I am certain they will.’
‘And – what is your timeframe?’ Ronald Grump was curious.
‘Once I make a start, everything will fall in place, as it has for notebandi,’ Moody replied. ‘Rome was not built in a day.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody gets a call from Ronald Grump (satire)

Moody, like any blacksmith, loves to strike when the iron is hot - striking has always been his strength. After the well planned and executed surgical strike, he went ahead with his black money strike. Black money is a subject that everyone loves to talk about. And black money when added to Swiss banks make for a heady cocktail.
Of course, Moody himself shies away from cocktails and no one knows for certain whether he has ever tasted the harmless mocktails.
The ringing of the hotline brought Moody back to reality. It was the new Uncle Sam better known as Ronald Grump – a man who is unpredictable.

‘Namaste Ronald-ji,’ Moody greeted him.
‘What’s that you said just now?’ Ronald asked.
‘It is our way of salutation,’ Moody explained. ‘A welcome message Ronald-ji.’
‘My name is Ronald, Ronny for short,’ Ronald grunted. ‘I hear you have taken a very bold step in a hurry and have fallen in a pit. It does not help your image. Your people are still one century behind us and you want to overtake us.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Moody replied. ‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours.’
‘That is why you have to hammer home the message about cleanliness, build toilets, clean your rivers, is it? Look buddy, your priorities are confused.’
‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours. We invented the flying machine much before you did. It was the flying chariot - Ravana used it to kidnap Sita.’
Ronald gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know all that. You invented the zero, you invented yoga, you invented the snake charmers and you have hundreds of Godmen who perform miracles. Wake up man, there is more to living than is revealed in your philosophies.’
‘OK,’ Moody replied. ‘What is it you want?’
‘I want you to know that I talked with your pal the other day. It was a pleasant surprise. He is such a nice man. I wonder why you can’t get along with him.’
‘I don’t understand who you are talking about,’ Moody murmured.
‘Your neighbor,’ Ronald laughed. ‘Both of you were buddies, you exchanged gifts and you even dropped in on him one day, unannounced. And – all of a sudden you don’t want to talk with him! What’s the problem?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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