Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Didi loves bicycles – she keeps gifting these to school children to teach them that going green is the mantra of today. Those who use these human propelled two wheelers never complain of potholes. They learn to circumvent such terror of the roads early in life and that strengthens their resolve to conquer any obstacle.
Moreover, bicycle industry does not require much land!
She called in Moo Cool, her Jack of all trades, and he came running into her office.
‘I just now had a fantastic idea,’ she said. ‘I am sure no one can ever think about it.’
‘Is it about Durga Puja inauguration schedule?’ Moo Cool asked cautiously. He had drawn up a schedule keeping in mind innumerable points so that she did not have any complaint. If she changed it now, his efforts would have gone waste and he would have to struggle because time was running out.
‘No. It is about cycles,’ Didi smiled. ‘Bicycles. They will solve plenty of problems related to the roads riddled with potholes.’
‘I have already dispatched 10,000 bicycles for the school children,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They will be there for distribution before you reach the venue.’

‘I know about that,’ Didi said. ‘I am thinking about manufacturing bicycles under the head of industry. We can borrow expertise from Punjab. My friend Cage Reball will help us out. He has promised to help me.’
‘That is good news,’ Moo Cool heaved a sigh of relief. ‘But – you mentioned potholes. And, they are not good news. We want foreigners to come here but the condition of roads are bad.’
‘Don’t lose heart,’ Didi assured. ‘We will provide them with palkis and horse drawn carriages. Such attention will win them over. It will help us to prove our commitment to have a clean, pollution free environment.’
‘But, how are bicycles and potholes related?’
‘Don’t you understand - their combination would generate employment,’ Didi sounded excited.
Moo Cool scratched his head.
‘Arrey bhai, potholes mean broken axles of cars and buses and trucks and damage to vehicles, right?’
Moo Cool nodded.
‘To take care of them, thousands of repair shops have already sprouted up all over the cities. And – self-employment has increased, right?'
Again Moo Cool nodded.
‘We will make cycling to work compulsory for all employees who live within a five kilometer radius of his or her office. That will generate still more self-employed people. They will man cycle repair shops.’
‘Didi,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘You are a real genius.’
‘I know,’ she smiled. ‘We will also identify our ABCD and give an increment to those who cycle to work. For those who do not do so, we will penalize them by imposing a fine. We will change the work culture. We will promote the green concept.’
‘By the way, what exactly is this ABCD?’ Moo Cool appeared to be stumped.
‘All Bengal Cycling Day,’ Didi said. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Didi wants to promote small scale industries (satire)

Back in power for a second term, Didi has realized that industries are a must for development and, she called the leaders close to her for a brainstorming session – the objective was to identify those industries that can co-exist with rice fields and coconut trees.
‘I want industries,’ she announced. ‘Tell me Moo Cool – how do we start?’
Moo Col gulped and cleared his throat. He knew Didi’s interpretation of industries and, he must think up something that would suit the Boss.
‘We could go in for ceiling fans,’ he said. ‘There used to be such factories once upon a time, we can revive them.’
Didi looked at him hard.
‘How can you think of ceiling fans when air-conditioners are the norms of today?’
‘If you ask me, I’ll say we could consider hand held fans,’ Abhi Shake spoke.

‘You mean like hand held computers?’ Dee Wreck asked.
‘Those operate on batteries,’ Abhi Shake explained. ‘What I mean are the fans made from the leaves of the palm tree. The talpatar pakha, an example of Make in India. It would appeal to the leaders in Delhi.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Didi said. ‘Moreover, it will help tone up and maintain the muscles of the arm – an extended form of yoga. It will be a boon for the musclemen. We could even export the hand fans to Bangladesh and other such nearby areas. And – who knows, they could even enter the European market. I’ll talk about it when I go to the Vatican.’
‘I have another idea,’ Patro Chatto said. ‘Let us bring back the horse carriages. Someone has made an air-conditioned horse drawn carriage and is renting it out for weddings. We can make them in thousands and, not only run them in the city but even export them. There will be a ready market because it is environment friendly.’
‘I think this is a good idea,’ Omit Misra said. ‘This also falls in the Make in India bracket and will find favor with Delhi. I can discuss it with Jet Lee and try to get some separate grant for this industry.’
‘Fine,’ Didi said. ‘You do that. Remember – we must have industries. Even the small ones help. Little drops of water go to make the mighty ocean.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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