Moody becomes moody after surgical strike (satire)

Moody had got the news about the surgical strikes and elimination of a pack of nuisance – they kept infiltrating into his house and destroyed his garden. He wanted to erect a wall and demarcate the boundary because the infiltrators gave the excuse that their literacy was low and since there is no visible boundary, their flocks keep making mistakes.
Suddenly the hot line rang – it was Clean Ton, a woman leader who could mean a lot.
‘Yes,’ Moody picked up the receiver.
‘How did you hit upon the idea?’ she asked.
‘What idea?’
‘This surgical strike,’ Clean Ton said. ‘I thought it was about some surgical operation on a serious patient.’
‘Well – it was one such operation done on the sly, in the dark.’

‘You mean there was no light in the Operation Theater?’
‘No, it was after midnight.’
‘You mean an operation in the dark?’
‘Sort of,’ Moody said. ‘Outsiders had entered my area. They kept entering on some pretext or the other. Once it was about chasing honey bees. Then there was the case of coming for their cattle that had strayed into my territory.’
‘I see,’ Clean Ton lowered her voice. ‘I think you are the fittest man for the job I have in mind. Your experience would be an asset to me.’
‘What do you have in mind?’ Moody asked.
‘I want you to eliminate the reign of terror in the Middle East. I am determined to rid the world of the mess and, with the expertise that you have gained, I feel it would be a cakewalk for you. I have discussed it with Angel Miracle and Tressa May – both of them agree with me.’
Moody gulped. He had eliminated infiltrators from his backyard but taking it to a global level would be tough, especially the type of people who were behind the terror outfits.
‘I can’t give any guarantee,’ Moody said.
Clean Ton laughed.
‘You have a 56-inch chest, this work would be easy for you. Of course, they have teams of suicide bombers. You will have to neutralize them first.’
Clean Ton rang off and Moody called in his associates Sue Sharma, Pyari Kar and Rajanna King. They came in and Pyari Kar had three files on boundary walls – one was barbed wire, second was brick and mortar and the third was laser wall.
‘Just now Clean Ton had rung up,’ Moody said. ‘She is impressed with our surgical strike and wants us to replicate it in the Middle East to eliminate you-know-who.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody has too many women around (satire)

Moody was proud of his 56-inch chest but, the world around him was falling apart and women were forcing their way into the male bastion. As a result, the ever-so-smart Moody, who loved to coin new words and phrases was in a dither.
Women were fine in the kitchen and in the maternity wards, but why barge into the predominantly male domain of politics.

The ringing of the phone brought him back to reality. The caller was Vladdy Putty.
‘Our friend Day Weed has gone,’ Putty said. ‘It was sad to see him leave. Poor man – he had to pack his own belongings.’
‘I know,’ Moody said. ‘Here we do it differently.’
‘How?’
‘We just do not leave our bungalows,’ Moody said. ‘Actually, I want to change all that.’
‘Can you really do it?’ Putty asked. ‘Will your people like it?’
‘Don’t worry,’ Moody said. ‘I have my methods. I have made people give up their LPG subsidy. I can make leaders to vacate their accommodations also. But – that is not likely to happen in the near future.’
‘Anyway – that is your headache,’ Putty went on. ‘I actually called you on another subject.’
‘What is that?’
‘Day Weed has gone, Bee Rack O’Vama is also on the way out. We already have Angel Miracle and Tressa May and there could be Clean Ton to follow. There will now be some more women in our sights.’
‘Yes. I am not worried. I can handle women,’ Moody replied.
‘Remember, these women wield enough power to keep their men in check,’ Putty said. ‘They have funny ideas and can play spoilsport at will. It is difficult to trust them.’
‘I don’t trust anybody,’ Moody said. ‘Not even my wife.’
Putty laughed.
‘We men are all alike,’ he said. ‘But – invariably, they get the better of us. And – in international politics that can be disastrous.’
‘I can put in place any woman who becomes too big for her boots. I have done it recently. The poor woman does not know what has hit her,’ Moody said. ‘My policy is - Men must tower, women must cower.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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