In the wonderland of deo sprays, fairness creams, and condoms

The new age has thrown up a number of unique men centric products that were never heard of in society. One of these is the deodorant, shortened to deo spray. In my youth, ordinary bath soaps were enough to impart the fresh look and add a bit of fragrance that would keep me surrounded like an invisible halo. When going to attend marriage celebration of a family member, I would spray a bit of perfume borrowed from my mother – and, she would not know.
Times have changed and, today, it is all about deo sprays. Scantily clad models cast meaningful glances at the usually bare chested young man and swoon over him who has sprayed the exotic deo spray on his body.

Another men centric product is the fairness cream – it is touted as a cream that can impart a fair complexion to any man. And, it is promoted by a celebrity of Bollywood. In spite of that stars of the silver screen as well as of the small screen have begun to sport beards – a bit strange.
Yet another men centric product is the condom – once mentioned in undertones, it is now advertised widely on TV with celebrities endorsing the product. The latest entrant to this fold is a famous cricketer known for his sixers in IPL.


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody hopes Khajuraho will win over the new Uncle Sam (satire)

Moody was confronted with a major worry and the furrows on his forehead displayed his anxiety. He wanted to cozy up to the new Uncle Sam and, for that, he had to present him with a gift to strengthen the bond. He, therefore, rang up Baba Someday.
‘Baba-ji,’ Moody said. ‘Can you suggest a suitable gift for Uncle Sam?’
‘That would mean a lot of study,’ Baba replied. ‘Actually, I don’t have that much spare time. I am busy setting up a special unit to prepare ayurvedic instant noodles. I am determined to drive out all foreign competition from the lives of Indians.’
‘I rely on your judgment, which is why I contacted you first.’
‘I am sorry to disappoint you.’

So Moody contacted Jet Lee – another of his trusted men. He also could have been a great help. But – he was in a quandary about the next IPL. It is all about bright dazzling cricket and requires plenty of organizing and advance planning.
Then Moody tried Sue Sharma. But - she was in hospital.
Moody missed her presence – she would have been a great help in this problem since it was all about the American Dream. Not for the Americans of America but for Indians who longed to become Americans in America.
Moody had expected Clean Ton to win. That would have ensured a sort of continuity in the link already created. But, when the results went against her, Moody realized that he would have to begin all over again.
That is when he was stumped.
Being a true Indian, he believed in the moral that to have a friend in need when you want him most, you have to give him a gift when you meet him for the first time. So far, he had followed that policy and had been rewarded - best example was the Uncle Sam who was on his way out.
Moody had presented him with a statue of Hanuman and a copy of the Gita.
After that Uncle Sam literally worshipped the ground that Moody walked on and had accepted an invitation to come to attend the Republic Day program in a city where air pollution from smog was always a major irritant.
Now – what could Moody gift to the new Uncle Sam to win him over?
From what he had heard – this man was more of a business man and less of a politician. Moody himself hailed from that part of the country which is known to be the haunt of businessmen.
Suddenly his eyes lit up – Khajuraho was the answer. Yes – Khajuraho would keep the new Uncle Sam fascinated. It was all about Indian art of yore and he could commission an artist to paint the scenes of Khajuraho on the ceiling and walls of his Tower. (to be continued…)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Lord Shiva unable to fathom IPL T20 cricket (satire)

Lord Shiva was sitting in front of his TV set trying to fathom the mysteries of the so-very popular game called cricket and its pure desi version called IPL. Durga was also with him – she had picked up plenty of cricket jargon and would spice up the conversation.
‘Who are Duckworth and Lewis?’ Lord Shiva suddenly asked.
‘They are cricket experts,’ Durga replied. ‘They have evolved a system to play cricket even though it rains.’
‘You mean the two of them make raincoats like the Duckback raincoats?’
‘No. They calculate how many runs the side batting second would require to win a rain curtailed match. In T20 cricket one team must win – there is no such thing as draw.’
‘Don’t you think this T20 is a funny game?’ Shiva asked.

‘Certainly not,’ Durga replied. ‘It is a game tailored for the modern day.’
‘How do you say that?’ Shiva was not convinced.
‘People do not have time to watch a game for the whole day. So they have designed this shorter version. It is short and sweet.’
‘You mean sweet like the girls in short dresses who cheer the players and blow kisses in the wind?’
‘They are a part of the package deal,’ Durga replied.
‘They look to be imported stuff,’ Shiva said. ‘Why don’t they give this job to the locals? There are plenty of local girls who also dance to the galleries and are experts at item numbers.’
‘T20 cricket has spawned innumerable avenues of business and employment,’ Durga explained. ‘Cheer girls are one – if Delhi wants, they can clamp down on foreigners and insist that only desi girls must dance.’
‘But then – there could be problems.’
‘Why?’
‘They could insist on dress codes and ban skin-shows.’
‘You are right,’ Durga agreed. ‘That possibility does exist.’
‘The whole world has gone gaga over IPL T20 cricket and the TV channels are minting millions of rupees just to feed the needs of the masses,’ Shiva said.
‘It has its positive side,’ Durga said. ‘New venues are being created to hold the matches. That means constructing new stadiums complete with floodlights and a whole horde of people to look after them. New employment opportunities are being created. Don’t you think that is good?’
‘I think you are right,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘I can see old time cricket players on the TV screen – either giving the live commentary or giving expert advice. And – umpires of old who don new dresses to check irregularities on the field. There is an addition ‘third’ umpire who has to check and decide on contentious issues.’
‘And – girls get an equal opportunity,’ Durga added. ‘Not only as cheer leaders but also in the studio as commentators or as experts. And in the field to entertain he cricket lovers.’
‘Tell me – who coined the word cricket for this game? Why did they select cricket instead of spider or cockroach?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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