Lord Shiva and his tandav dance (satire)

Lord Shiva is, as we all know, a bohemian character – and he was unhappy. No, it was not a marital tiff – he worshipped the ground that Durga walked on and, Durga also knew that her husband was in a special league because he was a bohemian. She also guessed that he was worried.
‘Want to share your thoughts?’ she asked him.
‘My life is miserable,’ he lamented.
‘Why?’ Durga asked.
‘Killing of tigers is banned and my stock of tiger skins is running out,’ Shiva said.
‘Artificial tiger skins are available online. I have shown you how to order online.’
‘What about ash? Burning ghats are vanishing, where do I get the ash to smear on my body?’
Durga laughed.

‘There are thousands of body powder in the market,’ she said. ‘Take your pick.’
‘And the bel pata, leaves of the bel tree? They also are not seen – the trees have been cut down to make space for multi storied buildings. Ganja is banned, no one dares to cultivate poppy anymore. My devotees have changed their outlook,’ Shiva sighed.
‘It is but natural,’ Durga said. ‘They now live in a world of make believe and want to grab more than they can digest. That results in indigestion.’
‘What about me? No one celebrates Shivaratri any more. Staying up all night watching movies is a thing of the past.’ ‘You are mistaken. They do watch movies throughout the night. They watch it on their smartphones.’
‘You mean movies depicting me and my lifestyle?’
‘Well – they live in a world of their own and have their own idea of Shiva.’
‘Yes, they only love my tandav dance,’ he said. ‘Both the boys and the girls shake their bodies in a way that I could never have imagined.’
‘Always look at the bright side,’ Durga smiled.
The Lord sighed.
He does live in a world of his own. He loves to smear his body with ash instead of sprinkling talcum powder. He loves to smoke ganja even though people look down upon drugs which have ruined many lives. He loves to stay in the burning ghat which is more attractive to him than the banks of the Ganges. And, he loves the company of bulls that follow him as does Bhringi, his man-of-all-seasons. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Barack Obama enters the league of top US Presidents with ranking of 12

Public tours of the White House will begin again from March 7

Explosion in French nuclear power plant in a non-nuclear zone


Didi caught in the whirlpool of industries (satire)

Moody’s love hate relationship with the raincoat (satire)

The curse of social media – cold blooded murders committed


Mumbai will get to see Justin Bieber in action on May 10

Kangana Ranaut is 'fearless Julia' in Rangoon

Shakti Kapoor holds his audience spellbound in the Khandagiri Yatra


ISIS carries out car bombing in Baghdad - kills at least 55

Suicide bomb attack kills at least 72 in a Sufi shrine in Pakistan

Mayor of London worried about ISIS attacks on the city

Lord Shiva in the world of deodorants (satire)

Lord Shiva had a lot of time on his hands because his better half Goddess Durga was busy preparing for her annual visit to her mother’s place. And, her children were also excited at the prospect of seeing and feeling the additions to the skyline that keep springing up everywhere.
Suddenly his trusted disciple Bhringi came up and drew him aside.
‘I hate to see you so lonely,’ he whispered.
‘I am waiting for them to leave,’ Shiva said. ‘Then I’ll have the whole of Mount Kailash to myself.’
‘I have an idea,’ Bhringi sidled up to him.
‘What?’ Shiva also lowered his voice.
‘Why don’t we go and visit one of those shopping malls?’

‘But I don’t need to buy anything.’
‘You don’t need to,’ Bhringi assured.
‘Why should anyone go to a shopping mall if he does not want to buy anything?’
‘The majority of them go for window shopping,’ Bhringi said. ‘Your bare body is OK, so is your long matted hair but, that tiger skin would not do.’
‘Why?’
'Tigers are a protected species and if anyone sees you in a tiger skin, they’ll put you behind bars.’
‘What is the solution?’
‘Give me a spare tiger skin and I’ll shape it into a Bermuda,’ Bhringi grinned. ‘Once the girls see you in that, they will want to take selfies with you.’
‘Selfies?’
‘Yes. That is the latest craze. They’ll presume that you are a celebrity of Bollywood or Tollywood or Hollywood or some other wood – and getting a selfie with you will boost their popularity among friends.’
And, so it came to pass that Lord Shiva and his trusted disciple landed up in one of the shopping malls in the City of Joy. At the entrance to one of the shops, enclosed in glass, were a bunch of boys and girls engaged in animated conversation.
‘What are they talking about?’ Shiva asked.
Bhringi eavesdropped and smiled.
‘They are discussing about a new brand of deo?’
‘Deo?’
‘Abbreviation for deodorant,’ Bhringi explained. ‘Obnoxious body odors ruin lives, especially for youngsters. And – good fragrance acts as magnet to attract the fair ones.’
‘You mean like animals who follow the scent to make a kill?’
‘Yes. Moreover, these deo manufacturers have spawned a whole new range of beauties who appear in ads. Their motto is to follow the scent and bag the prize.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Disneyland bans 25 things including selfie sticks in all its locations

Hillary Clinton has pneumonia - she fell ill at September 11 memorial

Lord Ganesh's laddu weighing 21-Kg auctioned for Rs 14.65 in Hyderabad


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi and her BMW dreams (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


Suicide bomb attack in Pakistani mosque during Friday prayers kill at least 25

Security beefed up for Munich Oktoberfest 2016

29 people injured in an explosion in New York - no evidence of any terror link


Shah Rukh's 'Fan' and Salman Khan's 'Sultan' to be screened at Busan International Film Festival

Sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy to release in US theaters on May 5, 2017

London-born singer Skepta wins the 25th Mercury prize fr his album Konnichiwa

Lord Shiva is a confused man of Mount Kailash (satire)

Lord Shiva, sitting in Mount Kailash, was a confused individual. He had his own worries about getting a new set of clothes but tigers were at a premium, as were their skins. He was, therefore, forced to don imitation tiger skins.
Durga did not miss the signs. She knew that the Lord was annoyed. So, she sidled up to him, humming a popular tune under her breath.
Lord Shiva looked up and moved aside to make room for her to sit down.
‘What’s biting you now?’ Durga asked.
‘I am confused,’ he said.
‘We all are,’ Durga said. ‘Unless there is confusion, no one gets noticed.’
‘Tell me – our friend Moody is inviting foreigners to come here and set up business. His buzzword is ‘Make in India’, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘And – side by side, the Pat & Jolie outfit of Baba Someday is promoting his own products. He says foreign goods are no good, go for my brands. He started with honey and is now rolling in money. His beard has got a new shine.’

‘He is doing it for charity,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘At least that is what he keeps harping on in each of his advertisements.’
‘He is making it clear that he is not benefiting at all. He is doing it for a good a noble cause – to promote homemade products.’
‘Then there is that woman Ranee-ji – she wants women to wear khadi sarees. Tell me – how many women wear sarees today. All I see are girls and women in jeans and skirts. Some even in swim suits. That has become today’s dress code.’
‘Don’t lose your sleep over such trifles. All of them are right in their own ways,’ Durga said.
‘You mean the British will come here and weave khadi, make designer clothes out of that and sell them? And, the Swiss will come here to make chocolates and export them?’
‘Very possible,’ Durga said. ‘And – I believe people will come from Zimbabwe to make artificial tiger skins. You will then get a better quality of substitute.’
Lord Shiva did not have a ready answer to that one. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Theresa May to pay upto £13,000 to families who stay on sources of shale gas

Vadodara museum bans entry of Pokemon GO players in its premises

India in 2016 Rio Olympics - both Sania Mirza and Leander Paes bow out in first stage itself


Moody’s solution for dental care – eat drumsticks (satire)

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)

Didi to gift pepper spray to all girls (satire)


Syrian city of Aleppo falls into hands of rebels and jihadists

North Korea plans to conquer the Moon in 10-year's time

One ISIS suicide bomber of Brussels attack was a cleaner at the European Parliament


Rajinikanth’s Kabali sets a box office record with Rs 600-crore collection

Edinburgh Festival 2016 will have programs on current politics from Brexit to Trump

Shah Rukh Khan could make a movie on tennis star Sania Mirza