Didi’s Rose garden withers in the valley (satire)

The rose is a flower that spreads its fragrance far and wide but it also has thorns that can injure. Shakespeare has already praised the flower and said that the rose by any name remains a rose. But, when things turn sour, the garden withers and the leftovers are hard to digest.
That was Didi’s dilemma – the rose garden in the valley has withered and the stink that it has created has made life too prickly.
She was closeted with her associates Moo Cool and Dee Wreck and was racking her brain to come up with a solution. ‘I must divert attention,’ she said. ‘I want to use another weapon to blunt the threat.’

‘I have an idea,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘The solution lies in processions. Our boys are great at it and, can rustle up thousands of people in no time.’
‘What sort of procession?’ Didi asked.
‘A procession of the downtrodden that will take us closer to the masses.’
‘What exactly do you have in mind?’ Moo Cool now asked. He felt he was closer to Didi and hated to see Dee Wreck take any credit.
‘Tell me – who have been most affected by the note ban?’ Dee Wreck put a counter question.
‘Practically everyone,’ Moo Cool mumbled. ‘The queues in front of ATMs have become a permanent feature of the landscape. Queues of people staring blankly at the placard showing ‘No Cash’ or ‘ATM down’.
Dee Wreck smiled.
‘No Sir,’ he replied. ‘People most affected by the notebandi are the poor beggars and the pickpockets. Beggars are not getting alms, pockets that the pickpockets pick are empty. They will take out the processions. They will walk for a pittance’
‘What about the slogans and placards that they’ll carry?’ Didi wanted to know.
‘Simple slogans like ‘We Want Pockets Full’, ‘Down With ATMs’, ‘Say No To Plastic Money’ ‘Long Live Beggars’, ‘Give Back Our Birthright’ – the possibilities are unlimited.’
‘Good – I want to implement it immediately,’ Didi said. ‘Go ahead and ensure that the message goes out to the remotest corner. It is a fight for survival.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody in the world of pickpockets and beggars (satire)

Moody had a mission in life – to cleanse society of all evils. He wanted a clean society – clean in all sense right from their toiletry habits to dirtying the pure waters of the Ganga to everything that is black.
The color black signifies all that is bad right from black magic to black money and black market.
The buzzing of the phone brought him back to reality.
It was Ronald Grump on the line.
‘Hi reformist,’ Grump said, ‘how was your New Year Eve?’
‘I beg your pardon,’ Moody cleared his throat, ‘New Year Eve is a western concept, to me it is just one evening like any other evening. Why should there be anything special for that?’

Ronald Grump gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I heard you have tied yourself into knots over your sudden decision to ban notes. Your people are not happy.’
‘They do not realize the amount of thought that had gone into arriving at that decision,’ Moody explained. ‘It was not only to stop corruption in all walks of life but also to plug the loopholes of those who create and store black money.’
‘I believe that you have put a whole lot of people out of business.’
‘Certainly not,’ Moody did not agree. ‘Shopkeepers are shifting over to cashless schemes and embracing e-wallets and debit cards.’
Ronald gave another hearty laugh.
‘My dear reformist – have you not put pickpockets out of business? And the beggars? If there is no loose cash, how will they survive?’
It was now Moody’s turn to laugh.
‘You must understand – the pickpockets and beggars are out of business, I agree. But that is a passing phase. Once they get trained in some trade, they will get regular employment.’
‘What trades?’
‘My cabinet is working out the details,’ Moody was not one to be hurried. ‘I am creating a new Ministry – the Ministry of Pickpockets & Beggars. It will carry out a census and keep a count of all PP & Bs and, each of them will get a one-time grant of Rs 1000 as a goodwill gesture.’
Ronald Grump laughed.
‘You mean the pickpockets and beggars will have a change of heart and mend their ways with that?’
‘Yes, I am certain they will.’
‘And – what is your timeframe?’ Ronald Grump was curious.
‘Once I make a start, everything will fall in place, as it has for notebandi,’ Moody replied. ‘Rome was not built in a day.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Didi on black money and ‘Notebandi – the Note Bandits’ (satire)

Didi always plays her cards right. She knows just when to strike the red hot iron so that it takes the proper shape. The scrapping of old notes was what she needed – it was a chink in the armor of her opponents – black money continued to remain hidden.
She wanted to drive the wedge in.
‘What do I do now?’ she asked Moo Cool, her closest confidante.
‘Bulldoze,’ he replied.
‘Bulldoze? But bull is related to cattle,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to be associated with any form of cattle. It could send out wrong signals to my dedicated vote bank.’
Moo Cool sighed.

‘I can assure you that your vote bank will remain intact,’ he said. ‘What you must do now is to keep hitting the opposition. They are now at a disadvantage because the common man is still crying. They have money but cannot use it. They are wasting hours in front of ATMs or in bank queues and are even dying. These are your weapons.’
At this point, Dee Wreck joined the discussion.
‘I have studied the present situation,’ he said. ‘I think the time is ripe to launch an attack that will cripple the opposition.’
‘And what is that?’ Didi asked.
‘Bowl them over with your googlies.’
‘How?’
‘There are so many movie stars young and old in our ranks, right?’ Dee Wreck asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And - there is one from Bollywood who also owns a cricket club in our city. They can all be roped in for a special movie titled ‘Notebandi – the Note bandits’. It will be a runway hit.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Moo Cool added. ‘There could be a detective angle with a character like our so popular Boom Cash – the ultimate detective. He could go about hunting for the bandits.’
‘And – it will be in black and white,’ Dee Wreck added. ‘No color.’
‘Why?’ Didi asked.
‘Because its theme will be black. It will have blacks – right from black money, black market, blackout, black cat, black deed, black magic, black flags, blackbird etcetera.’ (to be continued…)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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