Showing posts with label #GodessDurga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #GodessDurga. Show all posts

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Lord Shiva in the world of deodorants (satire)


Lord Shiva had a lot of time on his hands because his better half Goddess Durga was busy preparing for her annual visit to her mother’s place. And, her children were also excited at the prospect of seeing and feeling the additions to the skyline that keep springing up everywhere.
Suddenly his trusted disciple Bhringi came up and drew him aside.
‘I hate to see you so lonely,’ he whispered.
‘I am waiting for them to leave,’ Shiva said. ‘Then I’ll have the whole of Mount Kailash to myself.’
‘I have an idea,’ Bhringi sidled up to him.
‘What?’ Shiva also lowered his voice.
‘Why don’t we go and visit one of those shopping malls?’
‘But I don’t need to buy anything.’
‘You don’t need to,’ Bhringi assured.
‘Why should anyone go to a shopping mall if he does not want to buy anything?’
‘The majority of them go for window shopping,’ Bhringi said. ‘Your bare body is OK, so is your long matted hair but, that tiger skin would not do.’
‘Why?’
'Tigers are a protected species and if anyone sees you in a tiger skin, they’ll put you behind bars.’
‘What is the solution?’
‘Give me a spare tiger skin and I’ll shape it into a Bermuda,’ Bhringi grinned. ‘Once the girls see you in that, they will want to take selfies with you.’
‘Selfies?’
‘Yes. That is the latest craze. They’ll presume that you are a celebrity of Bollywood or Tollywood or Hollywood or some other wood – and getting a selfie with you will boost their popularity among friends.’
And, so it came to pass that Lord Shiva and his trusted disciple landed up in one of the shopping malls in the City of Joy. At the entrance to one of the shops, enclosed in glass, were a bunch of boys and girls engaged in animated conversation.
‘What are they talking about?’ Shiva asked.
Bhringi eavesdropped and smiled.
‘They are discussing about a new brand of deo?’
‘Deo?’
‘Abbreviation for deodorant,’ Bhringi explained. ‘Obnoxious body odors ruin lives, especially for youngsters. And – good fragrance acts as magnet to attract the fair ones.’
‘You mean like animals who follow the scent to make a kill?’
‘Yes. Moreover, these deo manufacturers have spawned a whole new range of beauties who appear in ads. Their motto is to follow the scent and bag the prize.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Disneyland bans 25 things including selfie sticks in all its locations

Hillary Clinton has pneumonia - she fell ill at September 11 memorial

Lord Ganesh's laddu weighing 21-Kg auctioned for Rs 14.65 in Hyderabad


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi and her BMW dreams (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


Suicide bomb attack in Pakistani mosque during Friday prayers kill at least 25

Security beefed up for Munich Oktoberfest 2016

29 people injured in an explosion in New York - no evidence of any terror link


Shah Rukh's 'Fan' and Salman Khan's 'Sultan' to be screened at Busan International Film Festival

Sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy to release in US theaters on May 5, 2017

London-born singer Skepta wins the 25th Mercury prize fr his album Konnichiwa

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Lord Shiva and the auto hub that did not happen (satire)


Durga was happy that there was hardly one month left to go before she would make the annual journey to her mother’s place. But, she was worried about Lord Shiva. He seemed to be having a lot of worries.
‘What is preying on your mind?’ she asked him.
He gave a dry smile.
‘No, it is not what you think,’ he assured her. ‘I know that you are excited about your trip. I have got used to it. My disciples Nandi and Bhringi will keep me company as always.’
‘And – you will go high on the weeds,’ Durga said.
‘That is my way to maintain my balance,’ Shiva grinned.
‘Then what is biting you?’
‘It is that auto hub that finally did not happen,’ Shiva sighed. ‘The court has given its decision and the farmers will get back their land.’
‘They are happy,’ Durga said. ‘They are farmers and love the soil. They want to grow their crops and are not interested in making automobiles.’
‘Actually, they are a divided lot,’ Shiva murmured. ‘One group wants it. Another group does not want it. And, the leaders are laying a dangerous game.’
‘I saw in the TV news just now - a group of people have gone to Germany. They want to bring home German automobiles. But – where will they give them land?’
‘German cars are really small,’ Durga explained. ‘They do not need too much land. Moreover, they can go in for three or four tier manufacture. That way, the need for land will reduce. And, I believe, one section of farmers actually want an auto hub in the same plot of land.’
‘But – I saw bulldozers tearing up the roads and mowing down the grass.’
‘That is how change takes place. Keep the main idea intact and add frills so that there is happiness all around.’ ‘You mean it’s a game?’
‘Yes. They will rebuild them,’ Durga said. ‘I know. The syndicate is ready to take over when the bulldozers call it a day. The leaders play to the gallery. They repackage old wine in a new bottle. Everyone does it.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Didi meets Puja organisers and outlines her do's and dont's

Researchers unearth reasons of why people snore

Population of blackbuck in Bareilly district have fallen by more than 71% in three years


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi to search for the stolen gold medallion (satire)

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)


Man slips while watching bull running in Spain and gored to death

Suicide bomb and gun attacks in northwestern Pakistan leave at least 13 dead

Explosion in a street market in Philipines kills at least 12


MTV's Video Music Awards in New York - Beyonce walked away with top honours

Sonakshi Sinha breaks bones and throws punches in Akira

Lindsay Lohan wants to participate in a Russian talk show with President Putin

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Lord Shiva is a confused man of Mount Kailash (satire)


Lord Shiva, sitting in Mount Kailash, was a confused individual. He had his own worries about getting a new set of clothes but tigers were at a premium, as were their skins. He was, therefore, forced to don imitation tiger skins.
Durga did not miss the signs. She knew that the Lord was annoyed. So, she sidled up to him, humming a popular tune under her breath.
Lord Shiva looked up and moved aside to make room for her to sit down.
‘What’s biting you now?’ Durga asked.
‘I am confused,’ he said.
‘We all are,’ Durga said. ‘Unless there is confusion, no one gets noticed.’
‘Tell me – our friend Moody is inviting foreigners to come here and set up business. His buzzword is ‘Make in India’, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘And – side by side, the Pat & Jolie outfit of Baba Someday is promoting his own products. He says foreign goods are no good, go for my brands. He started with honey and is now rolling in money. His beard has got a new shine.’
‘He is doing it for charity,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘At least that is what he keeps harping on in each of his advertisements.’
‘He is making it clear that he is not benefiting at all. He is doing it for a good a noble cause – to promote homemade products.’
‘Then there is that woman Ranee-ji – she wants women to wear khadi sarees. Tell me – how many women wear sarees today. All I see are girls and women in jeans and skirts. Some even in swim suits. That has become today’s dress code.’
‘Don’t lose your sleep over such trifles. All of them are right in their own ways,’ Durga said.
‘You mean the British will come here and weave khadi, make designer clothes out of that and sell them? And, the Swiss will come here to make chocolates and export them?’
‘Very possible,’ Durga said. ‘And – I believe people will come from Zimbabwe to make artificial tiger skins. You will then get a better quality of substitute.’
Lord Shiva did not have a ready answer to that one. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Theresa May to pay upto £13,000 to families who stay on sources of shale gas

Vadodara museum bans entry of Pokemon GO players in its premises

India in 2016 Rio Olympics - both Sania Mirza and Leander Paes bow out in first stage itself


Moody’s solution for dental care – eat drumsticks (satire)

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)

Didi to gift pepper spray to all girls (satire)


Syrian city of Aleppo falls into hands of rebels and jihadists

North Korea plans to conquer the Moon in 10-year's time

One ISIS suicide bomber of Brussels attack was a cleaner at the European Parliament


Rajinikanth’s Kabali sets a box office record with Rs 600-crore collection

Edinburgh Festival 2016 will have programs on current politics from Brexit to Trump

Shah Rukh Khan could make a movie on tennis star Sania Mirza

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Lord Shiva loves and enjoys dancing (satire)


It was time for the telly and Lord Shiva, like any other addict of the idiot box, was watching a dance program of children. He loves dancing – not only his tandaba dance but other dances as well. Durga sat beside him. ‘It is nice to see kids learn dancing so early in life,’ Shiva said. ‘Some of these kids are hardly five or six year old.’
‘Yes,’ Durga sighed. ‘They are getting trained on how to make others dance to their tunes. When they come of age, they’ll turn into stars of the big screen.’
‘Catch them young seems to be the message,’ Shiva said.
‘Yes,’ Durga agreed. ‘The world is tough and early grooming ensures for them a better future. Their parents go to any length to see their kids appear on these shows.’
‘What about their studies?’
‘Who worries about studies if they can mint money by virtue of their skills in dancing?’
‘You must not forget singing also,’ Shiva reminded. ‘If you ask me, the kids should go in for singing or mimicry rather than dancing.’
‘Why?’
‘Well – a dancer minus beauty would not get any place,’ Shiva said.
‘But –they are so sweet and beautiful.’
‘Will that last for another twenty years?’
Durga laughed.
‘My dear Lord,’ she said. ‘Keeping them beautiful is the work of experts. And – there is no shortage of beauticians and stylists. Once these kids make the grade on this platform, they need not look back.’
‘But they may put on weight and become ugly. They will then lose their market value.’
Durga laughed again.
‘That will never happen,’ she said. ‘They will have sponsors running after them with teams of beauticians and stylists and, loads of offers.’
‘Fine,’ Shiva was not convinced. ‘How many dancers can climb on the bandwagon?’
‘Plenty. The number of movies being made runs into thousands if you consider the number of languages. And – dance is a common factor. The really good dancers become stars, the others become the crowds.’
‘Do you think RUM could teach them a thing or two?’
‘Ram?’ Durga was surprised. ‘He was no dancer.’
‘I know. I am talking about RUM – the combination of Rambha, Urvashi and Menoka.’
‘Oh,’ Durga grinned. ‘Why don’t you ask them yourself?’
‘I will – when they come next time.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Efforts on by Odisha to get UNESCO Heritage tag for Bhitarkanika national park

Alitalia pilot refused to fly from Beirut to Rome because he was tired - passengers stuck for 16 hours at Beirut

Wildfire in California spreads over 11,000 acres - residents evacuated


Didi not happy seeing urchins in Howrah Station (satire)

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)

Moody embraces yoga, his medics could embrace poverty (satire)

Lone wolf attack in Munich mall kills 10 including the attacker

Youth attacks train commuters with an axe - leaves more than 20 injured, some seriously

ISIS carries out suicide attack in Kabul - 80 killed, death toll could rise


Sir Michael Caine forced to change his name because of ISIS

Irrfan Khan meets Arvind Kejriwal before release of his film 'Madaari'

Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)


Lord Shiva, sitting on top of Mount Kailash, was peering through his binoculars and watching the sea of humanity in the city as it made its way to the central place – the reason: it was the 21st. It was an undeclared holiday for many and a day of rejoicing.
The city used to witness bandhs when there would be a total breakdown of transport and a forced holiday. Nowadays there are no bandhs as such but calls for assembling in a central place has the same effect as a bandh.
Durga had come out of her kitchen. She was wiping her wet hands on the pallu of her saree and observing the Lord.
‘Things are always happening down there,’ she said. ‘What is it now?’
‘I don’t know. Is there any festival that I am not aware of?’ Shiva asked.
‘Yes,’ Durga replied. ‘It is a festival of free meals.’
‘How come?’
‘The leader wants to talk to her subjects and has called them to the city,’ Durga explained.
‘What does she want to talk about?’
‘About her vision,’ Durga said. ‘She is a visionary and loves her Hawaii chappal and the plain white saree. And - she does cover her head on certain occasions to impress certain groups.’
‘That is nothing new,’ Shiva muttered. ‘All political leaders do it – they love to get themselves photographed in the dress of other cultures. Leaders are like chameleons. But – tell me. How did she get the villages to come to the city all together? What is the magic?’
‘It is the magic of free food,’ Durga said. ‘They have arrived in the night and had dinner. Next morning it was breakfast followed by lunch.’
‘But they were supposed to listen to her messages.’
‘It is all a one-woman show,’ Durga sighed. ‘She loves to hear her own voice. She allows her imagination to run wild and build castles in the air. She is not bothered about who has heard her and who has not.’
‘She is no exception. That is what all politicians do.’
‘Moreover, our lady is an accomplished artist,’ Durga reminded. ‘Her canvases sell for lakhs of rupees. She can paint real rosy pictures.’
‘Yes,’ Shiva said and placed the binoculars on the hillock. ‘She is an asset.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Boost to religious tourism - 2.3-Km permanent bridge planned from Beyt Dwarka to Okha mainland

Boeing celebrates 100-years of manufacturing aircraft

Spanish Talgo trying to impress the lovers of Bullet trains with its peformance


Yoga and khadi gel with Baba and Moody (satire)

Didi wants to promote small scale industries (satire)

Lord Shiva feels rains are the best option for cleaning (satire)


80 killed and over 100 injured in Nice as truck rams into revelers celebrating Bastille Day

Failed coup attempt in Turkey - 161 people killed and 1,440 wounded

Synthetic marijuana sees 33 people collapse simultaneously on the streets of New York


Leonardo DiCaprio to donate USD 15.7 million to help solve environmental issues

Shah Rukh Khan could make a movie on tennis star Sania Mirza

Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr rejoin to bring back the era of The Beatles

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Lord Shiva feels rains are the best option for cleaning (satire)


Lord Shiva had a huge smile on his face because it was the monsoon season and it was raining cats and dogs. The cities were flooded and most of the rivers were in spate. People ventured out only if really necessary – otherwise, they remained indoors to enjoy the beautiful sight and sound of the gushing waters. Either through the drainpipes or the roadside nullahs or the rivers.
Rain meant water and water meant life. That is why man was intensifying search for water on other planets.
Suddenly Durga came out of her kitchen.
‘Is the khichudi ready?’ Shiva asked.
‘Nearly,’ she said.
‘And what is the menu?’
‘Khichudi with an assorted set of fries like begun bhaja, aloor chop and papad.’
‘Good,’ Shiva said. ‘These are what make the monsoons memorable. By the way – the rains are a blessing in disguise for those who are crying themselves hoarse over Swatchh Bharat. The rain waters are washing away the dirt and muck from the rivers.’
‘Yes – it is lovely to see all those water hyacinths floating away downstream.’
‘I heard that there is a separate ministry set up to clean the Ganga.’
‘Yes, it is actually to keep the people engaged,’ Durga explained. ‘The Ganga has not become dirty all of a sudden. It has been a gradual affair and a result of not just ignorance but also of a couldn’t-care-less attitude of politicians who are patrons of industries.’
‘I know,’ Durga agreed. ‘Industrial waste goes into the waters just like all the wastes from cities that line the banks of the river.’
‘And the funds go down the drain,’ Durga added. ‘No amount of money can really clean all that dirt. To me, it is all eyewash.’
‘They have coined some nice sounding slogans like Namami Gange,’ Shiva smiled. ‘It sounds better than Ganga Action Plan but I doubt if they can go beyond slogans. The minister who is in charge now may suddenly be replaced by someone more near to the bosses.’
‘That is the saddest part,’ Durga sighed. ‘No one is serious. They all believe in cosmetic changes.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

San Fermin bull-running festival kicks off in Pamplona

Three new crew members from US, Russia and Japan on their way to the International Space Station

2016 Rio Olympics - Rio de Janeiro gets ready to welcome 5,00,000 tourists


Didi not happy seeing urchins in Howrah Station (satire)

Moody discusses women’s fashion with Baba Someday (satire)

Lord Shiva and the mystery of haunted houses (satire)


Two suspected ISIS jihadists arrested in Ataturk Airport

There were more than 2000 gun related violence in Chicago during 2016

Four killed and nine police officers injured in terror attack in Bangladesh during Eid prayer


Salman Khan starrer Sultan set to enter the Rs 100-crore club by Day-3

A R Rahman off on his UK Intimate Tour - will perform in London on September 22

Katy Perry creates microblogging history with over 90-million followers on Twitter

Friday, July 1, 2016

Lord Shiva and the mystery of haunted houses (satire)


It was another bright sunny morning. Normally, it should have been cloudy because it was monsoon time and, as a rule, skies are supposed to be overcast and rains are supposed to be the order of the day. And – the lady of the house should be busy preparing for khichudi, begun bhaja and other such mouthwatering items. But – that has not been happening. Hence, Goddess Durga had to dream up some other equally attractive dishes and browse the net for ideas.
She saw Lord Shiva with the day’s newspapers and came over to him.
‘You have had already seen the important news on the TV news channels, right?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ Lord Shiva nodded his head. ‘That keeps ones mind active.’
‘How?’
‘TV news is an exercise in keeping your senses alert - you have to correlate the audio and the video and, simultaneously, decipher what the news anchor is saying. At times they speak so fast that you just cannot make out what they are saying.’
‘I think they have a quota to fulfill,’ Durga explained. ‘Probably they are rated by the number of words they can speak in a minute. And – how many words they can utter without taking a breath. At times it sounds as if they are being chased by a mad dog and must finish their lines before being bitten!’
‘You do have a point,’ Shiva agreed. ‘Competition is tough and news anchors have to have that ability. Their job is glamourous and dangerous.’
‘OK, fine,’ Durga now said. ‘After seeing so many TV news, why do you need the newspaper?’
‘Because newspapers pick up juicy news items that never get to the TV audience, Shiva said.
‘For example?’ Durga prodded.
‘Haunted houses,’ Shiva said.
Durga laughed.
‘There is no such thing,’ she said. ‘Those are optical illusions.’
‘No my dear,’ Shiva replied. ‘People have seen shadows flitting through the houses. They have heard nasal voices crying at night. They have woken up from sleep after hearing rattling of utensils. And – dogs keep whining.’
‘And – all of these happen only at night, right?’
‘Of course. That is the tradition of ghosts. They wake up at night.’
Durga sighed.
‘You shouldn’t have seen the movie ‘Night at the Museum.’
‘But – the newspapers have given a full report on ghosts.’>br> ‘That is all a strategy to get the occupants to leave the house. Probably the owner wants to sell it off to some promoter.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Powerful tornado hits eastern China killing at least 51 people

British Airlines have suspended all flights to Sharm el-Sheikh in Egypt indefinitely

People in Gujarat prefer mobile phones to toilets inside the house


Yoga and khadi gel with Baba and Moody (satire)

Didi’s ideas to prevent suicides in Metro Rail (satire)

Goddess Saraswati is furious with toppers toppled (satire)


Tom Hanks to receive the lifetime achievement award at the Rome Film Fest

Darth Vader, the galactic man in black, to make a comeback in Rogue One

'The Jungle Book' inches towards the Rs 200 crore mark - Disney contemplates a sequel


20-year-old British man wanted to kill Donald Trump in Las Vegas

Violence in Sirte between ISIS and pro-government militiamen kills at least 60

Terror suspect in Brussels shopping mall wore a fake suicide vest

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Lord Shiva bamboozled by the storylines of TV serials (satire)


When the Sun goes down and quietness descends on Mount Kailash, it is time to sit down in front of the TV for the daily dose of serials that seem to go on and on without any rhyme or reason.
As usual Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga were watching one of the serials when Lord Shiva yawned, stretched his legs and reached for the packet of crispy chips. But – Durga beat him to the punch and removed the packet beyond reach of her lord.
‘Don’t do this to me,’ Shiva pleaded. ‘I know just how the story will unfold and it is tie for the ad break. I also want a break from this dull routine.’
‘I don’t think you can predict how the story will now unfold,’ Durga said. ‘The story writers are clever. They will introduce twists and turns at every step and keep you guessing.’
‘Thy must be wadding in money,’ Shiva muttered.
‘Of course,’ Durga said. ‘It is their pen that brings the TRPs. And, if the TRP drops, the writer is also dropped. Hence, a successful story writer has to keep his wits about him. He has to create the suspense so that the viewer waits for the next episode.’
‘But – why do they have these ad breaks? And – why the same ads?’
‘Actually these breaks are to give you a chance to get out of the couch and stretch your legs,’ Durga grinned. ‘Or – for me to peep into the kitchen and see if the eggs have boiled. Or – if the cake is baked.’
Usually the half-an-hour episodes of each serial has three segments – and, the time in between each segment is packed with advertisements. These range from toffee to coffee, toothpick to toothpaste and mosquito sprays to deodorant sprays.
‘I don’t understand why they have an episode every day of the week,’ Shiva sighed. ‘Don’t they need any weekly off?’
‘They have their adjustments,’ Durga explained. ‘In order to maintain morale of the actors, they go to exotic outdood locations for shooting.’
‘Exotic locations?’
‘Yes. Bengalis go to Digha or Darjeeling or Puri. And – the Hindi brigade goes to Australia or Phuket.’
‘How I long for the days of Doordarshan,’ Shiva sighed. ‘One serial every day and it has to be finished within 13 episodes. And – ad breaks were very few and far between.’
Durga also sighed.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I miss serials like Buniyaad, Udaan, Malgudi Days, and Hum Paanch.’
‘So do I,’ Shiva agreed. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

HTT-40, India's homegrown basic trainer aircraft, to debut in Aero India 2017

Maithon Dam to be venue for kayaking and canoeing national championships

KVIC brings out Yogasutra, clothes made of khadi for yoga exercises


Moody’s whirlwind trip - five countries in six days (satire)

Didi’s Delhi dreams – from telebhaja to aloo chat (satire)

All about chest size and happy days (satire)


Christina Grimmie shot dead by unidentified gunman in Florida

TE3N first day box office collection of Rs 2.61 crores in India fails to impress

Sonu Nigam opens up on technology and modern day music


Suicide bomb attacks by Taliban kill more than 20 in Afghanistan

Two brothers arrested from Long Island - another possible massacre prevented

Delhi police unearths a kidney transplant racket - arrests kingpin from Kolkata

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Lord Shiva and achhe din through Gangajal (satire)


Lord Shiva was not happy. He had just got the news that people are drawing up plans to make money out of something that is nature’s gift.
Durga saw him pacing up and down in front of his cave in the Himalayas with his disciples Nandi and Bhringi crouching behind a clump of bushes and could guess that Lord Shiva worried.
‘What is the problem now?’ she asked. ‘Did you not sleep well?’
Shiva stopped his pacing and stood in front of Durga.
‘This is not good,’ he said.
‘What is not good?’
‘Those people down there want to make money by selling that which comes for free.’
‘What is it they want to sell?’
‘Water from the River Ganges – they want to package it and sell it to the people. They have taken up the task of cleaning the River and, I think their funds have run dry. So they want to sell its waters to generate funds.’
Durga laughed.
‘I think you forgot that some other country is already selling fresh air. It’s a seller’s world and the demands of people keep changing.’
It was at this time that Ganesh joined them.
‘If you ask me, it’s a good business proposition,’ he said. ‘The demand for the holy water is tremendous. There is a ready market not only here but abroad also. And – I hear that they will market it online. And, the project will also help boost the morale of postmen.’
‘Postmen?’ both Shiva and Durga said together.
‘Yes. Right now all post offices are dying. No one sends letters or telegrams or money orders and the morale of the staff have reached rock bottom. Hence they need a morale booster.’
‘You mean to say that the morale booster will come from Gangajal?’
‘Yes because it will be sold and distributed through post offices. Moreover, it will spawn a new range of products for packaging. The delivery process could be subcontracted to drone operators. The possibilities are unlimited.’
‘You mean acche din through Gangajal?’’ Lord Shiva asked.
‘Yes,’ Ganesh said. ‘And – there could be foreign experts involved in the process. That is today’s tradition.’
‘By the way – where are they setting up the water purification plant?’
‘In Varanasi,’ Ganesh said with a smile.
‘I knew,’ Lord Shiva threw up his hands in despair. ‘They can’t see beyond their noses.’
‘And – they will be going solar,’ Ganesh added. ‘The distilling plants will run on solar and gobar – the pair of alternate energy.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

World's smallest porpoise of Mexico is on the verge of extinction

Coca-Cola to stop production of its beverage in Venezuela because of sugar shortage

Melting of Totten Glacier due to global warming could raise sea levels by three meters


Moody’s mind flits from Black Money to White House (satire)

Lord Shiva and Durga on home delivery and drones (satire)

Didi plans new conquests via Rabindrasangeet (satire)


Daniel Craig is through with James Bond - turns down £68 million offer from MGM

Snoop Dogg and Lucy Liu will be seen together in thriller 'Future World'

Kavita Kaushik to play the role of an Army doctor in TV show “Dr. Bhanumati on Duty”


Was the EgyptAir crash an act of terrorism by the ISIS?

Suicide bombings in Baghdad kill 43 - brings total death in 7 days to more than 145

One more Chibok girl rescued - she was kidnapped along with 275 others in April 2014

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Lord Shiva unable to fathom IPL T20 cricket (satire)


Lord Shiva was sitting in front of his TV set trying to fathom the mysteries of the so-very popular game called cricket and its pure desi version called IPL. Durga was also with him – she had picked up plenty of cricket jargon and would spice up the conversation.
‘Who are Duckworth and Lewis?’ Lord Shiva suddenly asked.
‘They are cricket experts,’ Durga replied. ‘They have evolved a system to play cricket even though it rains.’
‘You mean the two of them make raincoats like the Duckback raincoats?’
‘No. They calculate how many runs the side batting second would require to win a rain curtailed match. In T20 cricket one team must win – there is no such thing as draw.’
‘Don’t you think this T20 is a funny game?’ Shiva asked.
‘Certainly not,’ Durga replied. ‘It is a game tailored for the modern day.’
‘How do you say that?’ Shiva was not convinced.
‘People do not have time to watch a game for the whole day. So they have designed this shorter version. It is short and sweet.’
‘You mean sweet like the girls in short dresses who cheer the players and blow kisses in the wind?’
‘They are a part of the package deal,’ Durga replied.
‘They look to be imported stuff,’ Shiva said. ‘Why don’t they give this job to the locals? There are plenty of local girls who also dance to the galleries and are experts at item numbers.’
‘T20 cricket has spawned innumerable avenues of business and employment,’ Durga explained. ‘Cheer girls are one – if Delhi wants, they can clamp down on foreigners and insist that only desi girls must dance.’
‘But then – there could be problems.’
‘Why?’
‘They could insist on dress codes and ban skin-shows.’
‘You are right,’ Durga agreed. ‘That possibility does exist.’
‘The whole world has gone gaga over IPL T20 cricket and the TV channels are minting millions of rupees just to feed the needs of the masses,’ Shiva said.
‘It has its positive side,’ Durga said. ‘New venues are being created to hold the matches. That means constructing new stadiums complete with floodlights and a whole horde of people to look after them. New employment opportunities are being created. Don’t you think that is good?’
‘I think you are right,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘I can see old time cricket players on the TV screen – either giving the live commentary or giving expert advice. And – umpires of old who don new dresses to check irregularities on the field. There is an addition ‘third’ umpire who has to check and decide on contentious issues.’
‘And – girls get an equal opportunity,’ Durga added. ‘Not only as cheer leaders but also in the studio as commentators or as experts. And in the field to entertain he cricket lovers.’
‘Tell me – who coined the word cricket for this game? Why did they select cricket instead of spider or cockroach?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

World's smallest porpoise of Mexico is on the verge of extinction

Coca-Cola to stop production of its beverage in Venezuela because of sugar shortage

Melting of Totten Glacier due to global warming could raise sea levels by three meters


Moody’s mind flits from Black Money to White House (satire)

Lord Shiva and Durga on home delivery and drones (satire)

Didi plans new conquests via Rabindrasangeet (satire)


Daniel Craig is through with James Bond - turns down £68 million offer from MGM

Snoop Dogg and Lucy Liu will be seen together in thriller 'Future World'

Kavita Kaushik to play the role of an Army doctor in TV show “Dr. Bhanumati on Duty”


Was the EgyptAir crash an act of terrorism by the ISIS?

Suicide bombings in Baghdad kill 43 - brings total death in 7 days to more than 145

One more Chibok girl rescued - she was kidnapped along with 275 others in April 2014

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Lord Shiva, Bengali politicians and the results (satire)


Lord Shiva was glued to the TV screen – judgment day had come and all the TV channels were trying to outwit the others to claim ‘I am the best.’ The anchors and participants were having a field day and the audience were becoming more and more confused.
Durga came a sat beside the Lord – she had brought with her a plate of pakoras. There were two varieties – one was of brinjal and the other of potatoes. The sky was overcast and the occasion deserved a celebration of sorts.
She offered the plate to Shiva and looked at the TV screen. Two of the participants were engaged in a verbal duel and appeared to be coming to blows. But – she knew that it was all a sort of reality show. She had, at times, seen the men smiling as they sipped tea behind the scenes.
‘Why are they so agitated?’ she asked.
‘They are all tense – I doubt if they will have a good night’s sleep.’
‘Are they not well?’
‘They are caught up in the result fever,’ Shiva explained.
‘But the results of all exams have already been declared,’ Durga said.
‘This is an exam they have to undertake once every five years,’ Shiva said. ‘And – those who emerge winners can mint money for the next five years.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘They are the politicians,’ Shiva said. ‘If they are happy, they’ll keep you happy. They’ll celebrate your festival in a more gorgeous way.’
‘I see,’ Durga said and picked up the binoculars. She focused down below abs saw several dhakis – sitting forlorn on the roadside. ‘Why are the dhakis sad? If the men win, they’ll need the dhakis to dance in the celebrations.’
‘They have been told to stay off,’ Shiva said. ‘I just heard it in the news.’
‘Why?’
‘Didi’s orders,’ Shiva said. ‘She does not know what fate awaits her once the ballot boxes are opened. So – she is playing it safe.’
‘I see,’ Durga said. ‘The sweet shops are also empty. How will they celebrate without sweets?’
‘They have procured boxes of chocolates,’ Shiva said. ‘They come cheap and have greater shelf life. They will not go waste if the leaders fail to make the mark.’
‘You mean the situation is so bad?’
‘Yes – no one has any idea of what the EVMs hold.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Cruise ship Harmony of the Seas can accommodate more than 8,000 passengers and crew

Leopards in search of food on the prowl in streets of Gujarat

Bust the obesity timebomb with grapes and oranges


Monsoons and Didi’s flipflops aka Hawaii chappals (satire)

Chopper scam and Moody’s questions (satire)

Baba Someday, his yoga and Pat & Jolie face cream (satire)


High alert in Cannes for the film festival where 45000 people would attend

Kavita Kaushik to play the role of an Army doctor in TV show “Dr. Bhanumati on Duty”

Lady Gaga to portray legendary singer Dionne Warwick in 'Dionne'


Bombs rock Baghdad - ISIS car bombs kill at least 89

No buyers for Zimmerman's gun that killed Trayvon Martin in 2012

Australian police arrest five men who planned to go to Syria by boat to join ISIS

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Lord Shiva and Durga on home delivery and drones (satire)


Lord Shiva was going through the daily newspaper. Like anyone else, he also wanted to keep abreast of happenings around the world. Suddenly, from between the pages of the paper came out a number of colorful leaflets advertising new products and services.
Durga immediately pounced on them.
‘Last time they had sent leaflets offering posh flats and luxurious bungalows,’ Lord Siva said. ‘What have they sent across now?’ Lord Shiva asked.
‘One is for a pack of cosmetics,’ Durga replied. ‘And, another of clinics for slimming, apart from gyms and, fast foods through home delivery.’
‘This home delivery is a new fad,’ Shiva said.
‘Yes,’ Durga agreed. ‘It is on the rise because people are so engrossed in their regular activities like chatting and watching TV serials that they do not have the time to go shopping and, would rather, just order the food online.’
‘I don’t get the logic behind the illogical TV serials,’ Shiva muttered. ‘All the TV serials showcase a lifestyle meant for the rich and famous. The heroines are decked up in all their finery from head to toe and go to bed wearing their ornaments. The heroes are all well-to-do and own of business empires – but, there is usually only one servant for the whole household. Isn’t it silly?’
Durga smiled.
‘The serial makers know just what sells and there are some who have minted millions by encashing on the sentiments of women, especially the ma-in-law daughter-in-law relationship.’
‘I see,’ Shiva grunted. ‘And – what about the home delivery?'
‘Home delivery means employment for a whole lot of youngsters,’ Durga explained. ‘Have you not seen how efficiently they operate? The smart boys and girls take the orders and the delivery boys take them to the addressees.’
It was now Shiva’s turn to smile.
‘You always have a ready reply,’ he appreciated.
‘But – I am worried. Soon the delivery boys will vanish,’ Durga muttered.
‘You mean home delivery would stop?'
‘No – that work will be taken over by machines.’
‘Oh – robots will enter the scene?’
‘Sort of. The drones will take over.’
‘But drones are insects that make an awful buzzing noose when they fly.’
‘Why are you so ignorant? Drones are pilotless flying machines. Once they are preprogrammed, they can go to any destination.’
‘You mean those machines that are used by the army to destroy selected targets?’
‘Yes. Only – these will not destroy but deliver. Obviously, the delivery boys will make way for these new method of delivery.’
‘And – add another problem.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Unemployment will increase, unless the drone manufacturers give them alternate jobs.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage