Lord Shiva and Durga discuss opportunities for hand fans (satire)

Durga had returned to her abode in Mount Kailash and was settling down to another dreary routine life when Lord Shiva called her.
‘Did you hear anything about this new fad of immersion carnivals?’ he asked.
‘Immersion carnival?’ Durga was surprised.
She came over to Shiva and looked at the TV screen – it was a live demonstration of immersion processions presided over by the grand lady of Bengal. It is rumored that not a single leaf dares to turn or a bird dares to sing or a dog dares to bark without her permission.
‘Seems to be an interesting affair,’ Durga said as she sat down beside Shiva.
‘People are comparing it to the Rio Carnival,’ Shiva remarked.
‘That is noisier, livelier and more colorful,’ Durga said.

‘But, can this Sharad carnival draw audience from abroad?’
‘Time only can tell that,’ Durga replied.
‘I hear she had the idea during her recent visit to Europe,’ Shiva said. ‘She has already installed a Big Ben in the city and will have a giant Eye soon on the Hoogly. Probably she feels that foreigners will be impressed if they can get all such landmarks compressed into one city. A street carnival will add some weight.’
‘She certainly has outlandish ideas,’ Durga added. ‘There are rumors that next year onwards, the festival will be a 10-day affair.’
‘That means your annual trip will be a 10-day one?’
‘Yes. And – you’ll have to fend for yourself for ten whole days.’
‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll manage,’ Shiva assured. Inwardly he was happy, he would enjoy still more ganja. ‘You worry about yourself. You will have to remain cooped up in the pandals for ten days. It will be a terrible experience in the hot, humid surroundings.’
Durga laughed.
‘The organizers will install air conditioners and air blowers,’ she said. ‘They will replace the agarbatti manufacturers and become the main sponsors.’
‘Why not hand fans?’ Shiva asked. ‘It could give a boost to the hand fan manufacturing industry. If properly marketed, it could earn recognition among the foreign tourists who would be to watch the gala immersion parade on Red Road.’
Durga did not have any ready answer. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Didi wants Red Road to be renamed (satire)

Didi wanted the oath-taking ceremony to be a very grand affair attended by dignitaries of every hue and color. She had proved to the world at large that she can deliver the goods even when faced with all sort of odds. She was also satisfied that the Reds had been put in their place.
Suddenly Moo Cool rang her up. She had entrusted him with the task of inviting the glitterati of Delhi and, therefore, he had flown down to the capital.
‘Yes Moo Cool, how is it going?’ she asked.
‘Fine. I have met all those who matter and they have assured that they’ll make it a point to be present. But – Jet Lee has some doubts. He wants to talk with you.’
‘OK – I’ll ring him up.’
‘Don’t worry. He is right here with me.’

‘Fine. Put him on.’
‘Congrats Madam,’ Jet Lee wished her. ‘I knew you will come through.’
‘I also knew. I kept it a secret.’
‘Your toils have paid off. Watching you going from one place to another and convincing the masses was done beautifully. You have plenty of admirers here.’
‘Thanks. I had to fight with a handicap of 34 years of misrule and empty coffers. The Reds had left me a legacy of a huge burden debts.’
Jet Lee laughed.
‘You have put the Reds in their place now. You deserve full credit. We’ll come to the program. By the way – where are you holding it? ’
‘I want to invite the whole city,’ Didi said. ‘Therefore I’ve decided to have it in the open, on the road.’
‘You mean in the Maidan or outside Nabanna?’
‘No. It will be on a still bigger road.’
‘It is monsoon season. Don’t you think it would be risky to do this program outdoors when rains can spoil the show at any moment?’
It was now Didi’s turn to laugh.
‘We have the best super soppers with us. We have used it during cricket matches.’
‘Good. Then we need not worry,’ Jet Lee said. ‘Hope you will arrange for choppers to take us to the venue from the airport.’
‘Leave all that to my team of Moo Cool and Dee Wreck,’ Didi said. ‘They are experts.’
‘Fine. And – where is this venue?’
‘It is the Red Road,’ Didi said.
‘Red Road? But – you have driven out all the Reds from your territory, haven’t you?’
‘Don’t worry. This Red will also go one day. We love to rename roads.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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