Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Moody was excited but, as is his rule, he maintained a straight face. It was the prediction of a learned astrologer that had sent him soaring to cloud nine. He had appeared in his sleep, that too in early morning with the message – ‘go after get Big Daddy, you are sure to get him’.
And, it is said that such early morning visions are always good omen.
‘You seem to be happy,’ his right hand man Jet Lee said. He had followed Moody into the chamber.
‘Have you ever seen me unhappy?’ Moody shot back.
‘With so much worries, no one is happy,’ Jet Lee philosophized.
‘I have always been an exception,’ Moody said. ‘I am setting new trends. I want tigers and cows to drink water from the same waterhole.’
‘I know,’ Jet Lee said. ‘With Big Brother retiring next year, how will you handle the super powers?’
‘Right now I want to handle another Big name,’ Moody said.
‘How big?’
‘Very big. He is Big Daddy who has unleashed terror in the world. None of the super powers have been able to rein him in.’

‘You mean the man who loves to behead people and get the process videoed?’
‘Yes. The super powers have launched airstrikes on his bases. They have sent drones to hunt him down. But he is sitting pretty. He has evaded every super power. I want him eliminated.’
‘That is a good idea,’ Jet Lee said.
‘What idea are you talking about?’ Sue Sharma asked as she entered.
‘The idea to eliminate Big Daddy,’ Jet Lee explained. ‘We will succeed where others have failed.’
‘Yes. We have shown our might to the world in the R-Day parade and we can do what others have failed to do.’
Pyari Kar and Vicky Singh joined the group. Moody had called them in. They were his defense experts.
‘Have you decided on which weapons you will use?'
‘We have our very own fighter aircraft and missiles.’
‘But – Big Daddy has fought off all those weapons. We must take him by surprise in his den. We must go in for unconventional weapons.’
‘You mean hypnotism?’
‘Well – that is an idea. But, I have an even better one.’
‘We could go in for the boomerang,’ Pyari Kar suggested. ‘Or – even develop a Sudarshan Chakra.’
‘We do not have that much time,’ Moody said. ‘I suggest a team of archers – armed with bows and arrows. Followed by teams of lathi (stick) wielding men. The lathi is a formidable weapon in trained hands, they can overpower any army.’
‘Right,’ Jet lee nodded. ‘Lord Rama used his bow and arrows to defeat the demon king Ravana – we can also do the same.’
‘Yes,’ Pyari Kar agreed. ‘Big Daddy is the Ravana of today.’
Moody heaved a sigh of relief and reached for the customary plates of dhokla and gathias. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody in the mute mood (satire)

Normally vocal Moody, does, at times withdraw into a shell and goes into the mute mood – especially when subjects with B (beef), C (corruption) or D (dalits and dogs) become the talking points of the day. In days gone by, when he was at the other side of the fence, he used to criticize and taunt elderly leaders when they went into the mute mode.
Moody has now realized that there are moments in the life of leaders when the proverb silence is golden is most appropriate.
If he had some close friends, they would have told him – a penny for your thoughts. But, again, they might not because the very word penny is foreign. Penny is of British origin like Miss Moneypenny, the secretary in the office of M who was the boss of James Bond.
Anyway, he had to get the story of the dalit boys and the dog. He just could not fathom the relationship and, hence, was disturbed. So, he summoned Vicky Singh – the man knew plenty about warfare and Moody wanted the lowdown on the dalit killings.

How did the dalit boys get burnt? Was it in some battlefield? Was it due to some dog that came in the line of fire? ‘Vicky,’ he asked. ‘Dalit means oppressed. Right?’
‘Yes,’ Vicky settled in the chair opposite Moody.
‘How did the boys catch fire? Was it due to firecrackers?’
‘I have no idea. Some say they committed suicide.’
‘Strange. I always knew that farmers committed suicides. Or – kids who fail in their exams. Or – girls who are let down by their boyfriends. Why then did the dalit boys commit suicide?’
Vicky shrugged his shoulders.
‘How did the dogs come into the picture?’ Moody now asked.
‘There we no dogs as such,’ Vicky said.
‘But I heard you had mentioned dogs.’
‘That was just to make a comparison. Tell me, if a dog goes out of control, people stone it to death. How can any government be responsible for that?’
‘Any idea why the boys caught fire?’
‘If you ask me - they must have been involved in some dangerous activity and paid the price. Probably making firecrackers – you know Divali is round the corner.’
Moody was listening in rapt admiration. He was lucky to have assistants like Vicky – they had an answer to every question, no matter how awkward. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)


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