Tragedy at Durga Puja immersion in Jalpaiguri, West Bengal when flash flood sweeps away at least 8 persons

The tragedy occurred along the banks of River Mal in the Jalpaiguri district of West Bengal. It is usual for devotees to gather at the venue of immersion to bid farewell to Goddess Durga and her retinue. They are Lakshmi, Saraswati, Kartik and Lord Ganesh, the children of Durga. Normally, such rituals rarely get prominence in the media but this was different. There was flash flood and the flow of water swept away some of the people and left a group of about 30-40 persons stranded in the middle of a river. The district administration rescued them and indicated that the deceased persons included an eight-year-old boy and a 13-year-old girl while the other six included three women. In addition, fifteen injured people required hospitalization. 2 children among 8 drowned in flash floods during Durga Puja immersion at Jalpaiguri in Bengal. The District Magistrate mentioned that there was no local prediction of rainfall. However, suddenly the water in the river rose, probably due to rainfall in higher areas like Sikkim.

The district administration suspended immersion at the spot where flash floods occurred and undertook rescue operations. Prime Minister Narendra Modi expressed grief over the incident. His office took to the social media to send condolences to those who lost their loved ones. A local political leader said - “Thousands had gathered on the banks of the river and suddenly the water rose. People had no time to rush to higher ground. Many were swept away.” Even though there has been little rain in the area for the last few days, there were reports of heavy downpour in the higher reaches and in the Bhutan hills. Incidentally, the Mal River originates in the hills, and the water accumulated in the higher reaches owing to the heavy rain there caused the flash flood. This river merges with the Teesta River in the region.

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Preparations for Durga Puja 2022

Durga Puja is the greatest festival of Bengal and Bengalis all over the world. It has become a mega event for Kolkata and there are hundreds of Pujas held at various locations in the city and its suburbs. Normally, the organizers begin the preparations much in advance – some of them have a lead-time of several months. In order to attract the people, they identify themes for the design of pandals, arrangement of lights and decorations. Huge sums of money are involved and the source is usually through sponsors. Few of them are prominent names and they make their presence felt through banners. These display their products. Already it is August and this year, the dates for the festival are in the first week of October. Obviously, work is on in full swing in Kumartuli where artisans create the idols. They make use of moulds for the faces and most of the material used are environment friendly like bamboo, straw, clay. Many of the idols go overseas where Bengalis want to retain the tradition even though they might be thousands of miles away. Durga Puja 2022: Goddess Durga idols ready for export; artists from Kolkata’s Kumartuli hopeful for more orders this year

Durga Puja is a festival when people buy new clothes, ornaments, jewelry and footwear. With very little time left, shops have begun to work overtime and stock up their inventory. Many of them dispose their old unsold stocks at reduced prices and there are buyers. This is a craze among a section of Bengalis. They usually cannot afford to spend too much money. Most shops of this category occupy space on footpaths. As a result, traveling on foot becomes a nightmare. These shops are at Gariahat in South Kolkata and Hatibagan in North Kolkata. Alongside them, there are the fast food vendors who are assured of a steady stream of customers during the festive season. After all, in order to strike a bargain, the customer has to check out different shops and move from one to another. Therefore, once they have purchased what they need, they search for a food outlet and relax with egg roll or mughlai paratha or samosa or kachuri or chicken chow or momo. Alongside eatables, there are tea, lassi, ice cream and a huge variety of sweets from rosogollas to sandesh. The choice is huge provided one has the means

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Here is the thirty first unforgettable character in my life …

Durga Puja is the largest festival of Bengalis wherever they may be and our township was no exception. When it started, those who were involved in it devoted their energies to make it a success from the very first day and managed to create a festive mood for not just the four days but the taste lingered on long after the immersion of the idols in the River Godavari.
The period was in the late seventies and the man responsible was an ex-Navy officer. He possessed a never-say-die attitude that is unique to anyone who has seen service in the armed forces. When the Bengalis decided to hold the first ever Durga Puja in the township, he led from the front and ensured that the festivities left a lasting impression on not only on the Bengali community but also the locals.

The biggest challenge was to organize entertainment packages for the four days. Since necessary funds were raised from donations and subscriptions, the donors expected to get their money’s worth. And - he took a decision to arrange programs of artistes from Mumbai and Pune. The tentative program for the four days were – inauguration, entertainment package by artistes of Mumbai or Pune, a program to the Marathi population, and an evening meant exclusively for local talents.
It was that stage in our lives when television was in its infancy and cable TV was unheard of and people would crowd to venues of entertainment to spend an evening and watch celebrities and renowned singers.
He had managed to bring famous artistes from Mumbai like Hema Malini, Manna Dey, Babla’s orchestra, Tun Tun, Sachin Shankar’s ballet and others to entrain the gatherings.
The idol of Goddess Durga and her retinue would be brought directly from Kolkata by train as would be the dhaki and there would be community lunch consisting of khichudi on all the four days that would be open to everybody, irrespective of caste, creed or religion.
However, all of a sudden, he passed away and others took off from where he left. Even today, he is remembered as the man who made things happen. The word ‘impossible’ was not in his dictionary.


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Lord Shiva and his tandav dance (satire)

Lord Shiva is, as we all know, a bohemian character – and he was unhappy. No, it was not a marital tiff – he worshipped the ground that Durga walked on and, Durga also knew that her husband was in a special league because he was a bohemian. She also guessed that he was worried.
‘Want to share your thoughts?’ she asked him.
‘My life is miserable,’ he lamented.
‘Why?’ Durga asked.
‘Killing of tigers is banned and my stock of tiger skins is running out,’ Shiva said.
‘Artificial tiger skins are available online. I have shown you how to order online.’
‘What about ash? Burning ghats are vanishing, where do I get the ash to smear on my body?’
Durga laughed.

‘There are thousands of body powder in the market,’ she said. ‘Take your pick.’
‘And the bel pata, leaves of the bel tree? They also are not seen – the trees have been cut down to make space for multi storied buildings. Ganja is banned, no one dares to cultivate poppy anymore. My devotees have changed their outlook,’ Shiva sighed.
‘It is but natural,’ Durga said. ‘They now live in a world of make believe and want to grab more than they can digest. That results in indigestion.’
‘What about me? No one celebrates Shivaratri any more. Staying up all night watching movies is a thing of the past.’ ‘You are mistaken. They do watch movies throughout the night. They watch it on their smartphones.’
‘You mean movies depicting me and my lifestyle?’
‘Well – they live in a world of their own and have their own idea of Shiva.’
‘Yes, they only love my tandav dance,’ he said. ‘Both the boys and the girls shake their bodies in a way that I could never have imagined.’
‘Always look at the bright side,’ Durga smiled.
The Lord sighed.
He does live in a world of his own. He loves to smear his body with ash instead of sprinkling talcum powder. He loves to smoke ganja even though people look down upon drugs which have ruined many lives. He loves to stay in the burning ghat which is more attractive to him than the banks of the Ganges. And, he loves the company of bulls that follow him as does Bhringi, his man-of-all-seasons. (to be continued …)


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Lord Shiva and the sight of potbellied policemen (satire)

Lord Shiva was in one of his jolly moods when he allowed himself a good laugh. It was not a normal sight because he has plenty on his mind – but, still, on some occasions he does laugh.
That is what brought Durga out of her kitchen. She was preparing aloo paratha when she heard Shiva’s loud laughter. ‘What is so funny?’ she asked as she came up beside her Lord.
‘Those policemen,’ Shiva said and held out the binocular to her.
Durga took it, focused it and grinned.
‘Poor souls,’ she sighed, ‘they are really struggling to keep their belts in place. Wonder how they manage to move about. Can they ever expect to chase and catch a thief with a figure like that?’
‘Don’t blame them,’ Shiva said. ‘A well-developed belly means a satisfied individual. He can digest his food, has a good night’s sleep and does not have a care in the world.’

‘You mean he has the world in his pocket?’ Durga asked.
‘Sort of,’ Shiva said. ‘Their minister is none other than Didi. She takes good care of her police force. She has subcontracted most of the policing work to her own people. And, the regular police take it easy. They just come, sleep and go.’
‘But – the police chief is so slim,’ Durga pointed out. ‘He has set an example, his force should follow suit.’
‘My dear, there is many a slip between the cup and the lip. And, in case you have not seen, the police in Mumbai are also wide at the middle. And, policemen we see in films follow the trend. The audience make fun of them, they are at the butt of jokes. But, nothing happens.’
‘You mean we can never see slim and smart policemen in our forces? You mean Britain and the US will get the better of us? Our police cannot compete with Scotland Yard and FBI?’
‘Don’t lose heart,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘Weight is no problem – in fact it opens up new opportunities.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You can have new gyms, new equipment like treadmills, new weight reduction programs on TV, new weight reduction pills. And, people can mint money on the sly.’ (to be contd …)


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Lord Shiva laments over full Moon and a burnt roti (satire)

Lord Shiva was a lonely man – he wandered aimlessly in Mount Kailash and his devoted Nandi and Bhringi followed him wherever he went. He used his trident to poke the stones in the fond hope of turning up something interesting – and he is still waiting for his luck to favor him.
Durga, as was her wont, was watching him from the kitchen window and knew that her Lord wanted some sort of diversion. So she came into view with a pair of binoculars dangling in her hand.
‘I think you forgot to bring this,’ she said and held it out for Shiva.
‘I left it back on purpose, there is nothing new to see.’
‘You are mistaken,’ Durga shook her head ‘A New Year has started and new things will be happening. Don’t you want to see the transformation taking place?’
‘It is the same leaders with the same slogans and same promises,’ Shiva sighed. ‘They just do not want to change. They are all building castles in the air. They live in glass houses and keep throwing stones. They spit in the air and it rebounds on them.’
‘Our very own Didi is an exception,’ Durga said. ‘Her heart bleeds for her people. She has a very big heart and cozies up to those who will help her in her mission.’
‘Don’t tell me,’ Shiva shrugged off Durga’s ideas. ‘She is a chameleon – changes her color too fast and takes everyone by surprise.’

‘Why do you say that? She wants to do good for her people. She wants to bring in industries and has gone to foreign countries to invite them over. They have come and, hopefully, things will improve.’
Shiva gave a hearty laugh.
‘Wishful thinking,’ he said. ‘You mean to say that hands that are meant to compose poems will pick up a hammer and chisel to earn a living?’
It was now Durga’s turn to laugh. ‘Have you not heard that the Coffee House culture is on the way out?’
‘That is impossible. What are Bengalis minus the Coffee House culture?’
‘They are putting up CCTVs in the Coffee House. And – whoever enters must clock in the time of entry. Obviously, the patrons will get Didi’s message and give up their pens.’
‘I see a bleak future,’ Shiva murmured. ‘There will be no more laments of the full Moon looking like a burnt roti.’ (to be continued …)


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Lord Shiva wants winter favorites, Durga raises her hands (satire)

Lord Shiva was sulking. Winter had arrived in Mount Kailash and the Lord wanted to taste the winter favorites like nalen gurer sandesh and joynagarer moah. But, Durga had raised her hands in surrender. The will was there but not the means.
‘I just do not understand why you are refusing,’ he said. ‘Has my blood sugar level gone up?’
‘No,’ Durga replied. ‘It is not that. I know that your BP and blood sugar are in control.’
‘Then why can I not have the sweets?’
‘The basic ingredients required to make the delicacies are not there.’
‘Nonsense. I can see the palm trees and, if the trees are there, the saps also must be there.’

‘Times have changed,’ Durga sighed. ‘People are not there to tap the sap, neither are there dedicated men like Amitabh who can make the delicious gur.’
‘But nalen gur is sold in the shops,’ Shiva said. ‘Who makes them?’
‘There are factories to make gur – it is a part of the resurgence of industries in the state.’
‘I see,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘The old timers are bent with age and the young ones are more interested in moving out to cities to study and look around for jobs. So, whatever little gets created are from factories for sale over the internet to earn dollars, right?’
‘Yes, sort of.’
‘If the youth hanker after jobs, it means there are innumerable jobs in the market?’
‘Of course. Jobs are aplenty – may not be the regular 9 to 5 jobs but some job that pays money. As people say – money is flying in the wind, you must know how to lay hands on them.’
‘What is the nature of these jobs?’
‘One is muscle power – it pays good money so long as he can deliver.’
‘Any other options?’
‘The tinsel world. With so many TV channels, the need for actors is huge. Once he gets a toehold, he wriggles his way in.’
Lord Shiva sighed.
‘Then what about my winter favorites?’
‘I could make some green pea kachuri – I have got ghee made from cow milk and supplied by our Yoga guru. The kachuri fried in pure desi ghee would taste great.’
‘OK,’ Shiva shrugged his shoulders. ‘I’ll go for that.’
Durga smiled.
‘You will then have to shell the peas,’ she said. ‘I am going to watch the next episode of Cooking for Fun.’(to be continued ..)


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The electronic age has finally caught up with Lord Shiva, Goddess Durga and the whole of Mount Kailash. People are really growing up at last and, in spite of polluted River Ganga and people sitting on railway tracks every morning, they are learning to swipe plastic cards.

‘Did you hear the news?’ Shiva asked Durga.
‘News are always happening,’ Dutga replied. Her eyes were on the TV screen. She was watching in rapt admiration as a woman fried brinjals and, simultaneously, explained the intricate process of how to make the final product attractive. Unless it appealed to her family members, there was no majaa.
‘The lovely tinkle of coins and the feel of crisp bank notes would soon be a thing of the past,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘That is a good idea,’ Durga replied. ‘It will create a healthy society.’
‘What do you mean?’ Shiva was surprised. ‘Do you know how many people have died standing in ATM queues to collect new bank notes? And the tension they suffer from to get change for Rs 2000 notes?’
‘My dear husband, don’t you realize that coins and notes carry germs and spread diseases. They pass from one hand to another and pick up unwanted germs. Is it not a good decision to ban such disease carriers?’
‘Agreed’ Shiva smiled. ‘But – it will put the doctors out of business. And – also the manufacturers of medicines.’
‘They will go in for manufacture of swipe machines,’ Durga said. ‘The market of these machines is growing. Even beggars are keeping these with them. They also have to survive.’
‘I never looked at it in this way,’ Shiva said. ‘It will give a huge boost to the Make in India campaign. But – there is another problem.’
‘What is that?’
‘What’ll happen to the piggy banks where housewives used to store their ill-gotten gains made out of their hubby’s wallets?’
‘They have become obsolete. Wallets today are all electronic wallets.’ (to be continued …)


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Lord Shiva cracks jokes and Durga fries samosas (satire)

Sitting high up on top of Mount Kailash, Lord Shiva was watching Ganesh stifling a yawn. Normally, he is a very active individual but, of late, he appeared to be off mood.
‘Did you get a good night’s sleep?’ Shiva asked his son.
‘Life is boring,’ Ganesh replied. ‘My disciples do not pray to me anymore. They are busy trying to wriggle out of a tricky situation of outdated banknotes.’
‘I know,’ Lakshmi said. She had joined her brother. ‘Your disciples do not pray to you but, I am besieged with prayers from my devotees. They are the women who run the households – they do not know how to account their hidden treasures.’
‘The situation is certainly gloomy,’ Shiva murmured. ‘But - I have my eyes and ears open to see the antics of the leaders.’
Durga now joined her husband. She had been in the kitchen preparing samosas – the hot snacks could liven up any dull atmosphere.

‘Since when have you got interested in politicians?’ she asked, wiping her palm on the pallu.
‘Watching them flitting from one place to another is fun,’ Shiva grinned. ‘One of them goes around the world, the other goes around the country.’
‘They want to spread their base and eliminate all types of opposition,’ Durga said.
‘That is downright silly,’ Shiva went on. ‘For life to be meaningful, there must be some sort of opposition. You must have someone to fight with. Otherwise, life becomes dull and boring.’
‘Both of them have to do something to keep themselves busy. Remember, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
‘So – they hit the trail,’ Shiva was not happy. ‘They don’t have any family to support as such. One of them is married and boasts of his 56-inch chest. But, his wife is always away on pilgrimage. The other boasts of her hawaii chappals and has not yet tied the knot.’
‘That is why none of them understands the hardships of the family man’ Durga sighed. ‘Let us not waste our time discussing them. I plan to give you a surprise for breakfast. Let me move to the kitchen.’
‘I smell samosas in the air,’ Ganesh said. ‘Must be to test the ghee you have obtained from the yoga guru, right?’ ‘All the better to fry them with,’ Durga said and moved towards her kitchen. (to be continued …)


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Lord Shiva and long ATM queues - bullock carts and ATM don't gel (satire)

Winter had arrived and Lord Shiva loved winter – it was the season of everything that is good right from sweets made of nalen gur to picnics and exhibitions and fairs. But, suddenly, he was stumped as he watched people in ATM queues, people who normally loved chaos and hated anything orderly were suddenly queuing up outside those cubicles that dispensed money at any time of the day.

Suddenly Durga appeared with a cup of hot steaming tea – the aroma was great, pure handpicked leaves of Darjeeling tea.
‘Anything interesting in your sights?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ Shiva replied lowering his binoculars. ‘There are queues in front of every ATM.’
‘ATMs dispense money 24X7 – why should be there any queue?’
‘I don’t know. That is why I am surprised.’
‘I think our Ganesh might know,’ Durga said and rang him up on the smartphone.
‘Yes mummy – what is the problem?’
‘Do you know about queues in ATMs?’
‘They are playing a new game,’ Ganesh said. ‘ATMs are not giving money any longer and people are waiting to be the first in line to collect whatever comes out.’
‘This is a very strange game,’ Shiva said. ‘I have been seeing people in jogging suits make a beeline to be the first in queue. Don’t they have to go to work?’
‘They must first have money to buy food,’ Ganesh said. ‘And – banknotes have become dud. Markets are down because there are hardly any customers. Even the online shopping has come to a standstill because they are withdrawing the COD option.’
‘I fail to understand why ATMs do not have money?’ Durga wanted to know.
‘Mummy, it is all a question of size,’ Ganesh explained. ‘New notes have been released but ATMs don’t have trays to accept them.’
‘Oh!’ Shiva was surprised. ‘When you mentioned size I thought that you were referring to the 56-inch size.’ Ganesh laughed.
‘That is now after the bullet train,’ he said.
Shiva also laughed.
‘I’d love to see bullet trains compete with bullock carts,’ he said. ‘It’d be a fantastic sight. In our part of the world, bullets are no competition against bullocks.’
'If you ask me, bullock carts and ATm somehow don't gel,' Durga added. (to be continued …)


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Lord Shiva’s views on Kalighat and marriages (satire)

Lord Shiva was taking his early morning walk among the hillocks of Mount Kailash. It was a daily routine meant to keep his body fit. His eyes suddenly fell on Kalighat – it was home to a fiery lady who loved to live simple so that her devoted followers could roll in money.
Lord Siva beckoned to Durga who was tinkering in the kitchen – she had learnt a couple of new recipes and wanted to try them out. Shiva would have to be her guinea pig.
‘What is bothering you now?’ she sounded annoyed.
‘Things are happening in Kalighat,’ Shiva said.
‘Things always happens in Kalighat,’ Durga replied in a matter-of-fact voice. ‘You know why it is famous, don’t you?'

‘You don’t understand,’ Shiva sighed. ‘The lady appears to be moving out from the place.’
‘Nonsense,’ Durga came and stood beside her Lord. ‘She is attached to it and will not leaving right now.’
‘You mean she will leave but is waiting for an auspicious time?’
‘Sort of,’ Durga replied. ‘She has set her eyes on bigger stuff. She is bubbling with energy and this place is choking her.’
‘Tell me one thing – how will she adjust herself to a life away from her home? A life minus jhal muri, telebhaja, langcha?’
Durga smiled.
‘Women can adjust to any change – it is a gift that they possess. After marriage, the girls adapt to their new homes in no time.’
It was now Shiva’s turn to smile.
‘From what I see and hear, today’s marriages do not last a lifetime,’ he said.
‘You are mistaken,’ Durga objected. ‘There are so many TV reality shows where women participants talk about their married lives, how they met, how they tied the knot, how they are living happily ever after.’
‘Fine. But – I would like to know how many of the knots are still intact? How long did the bond last? From what I know, filmdom is chock-full of actors and actresses who have married more than once. It seems to be a trend, a sort of fashion. Tell me - to succeed, do you need to change partners.’ (to be continued …)


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Shiva learns about dhanteras from Durga (satire)

Lord Shiva wore a worried look in his abode in the wilderness of Mount Kailash. Durga had returned with her children and was settling down to the dull dreary routine life but the bombardment of ads on the TV was a major distraction for Shiva.
He was unable to concentrate of how to lay hands on fresh tiger skins. Yes, he had got used to the duplicate stuff but, the feel of the original was missing.
Durga guessed that Lord Shiva had something on his mind because he was twirling his trident between his fingers.
‘A paisa for your thoughts,’ she said as she sidled up to him and occupied a seat beside him on a hillock.
‘What is this dhanteras?’ he asked.
‘You know what is dhan?’
‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘It means wealth.’
‘Well – dhanteras is a word coined to mean accumulation of wealth.’
‘I see,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘That is why jewelry shops are offering discounts on making charges of ornaments to attract customers, right?’

‘Partially. In fact, dhanteras has become a huge business opportunity for even the online fraternity. They are selling items from jewelry to sweets and clothes and footwear apart from TV sets and smart phones.’
‘You forgot to add – buying two and four wheelers on instalment. In short, dhanteras is yet another festival to milk the people.’
‘Yes, it is another festival to spread a feeling of goodness and well-being.’
‘Then why are they banning firecrackers during Diwali?’
‘That is to prevent air pollution and keep the children safe.’
‘But they burst crackers on the roads when they win elections.’
‘Those are exceptions. Remember, exception proves the rule.’
‘Then what about those who do business in firecrackers? Do you want them to switch over to making jewelry or making rasogollas or pickles?’
Durga sighed.
‘They can go in for alternate jobs like making clay lamps for Diwali. Clay lamps, wicks, bottled oils. These are in great demand because there is a ban on imported toony bulbs and Diwali means lights to drive away the darkness and evil.’
‘I doubt if Evil will ever be frightened by lights and run away,’ Shiva said. ‘They need to be bombed out.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Lord Shiva and Durga discuss opportunities for hand fans (satire)

Durga had returned to her abode in Mount Kailash and was settling down to another dreary routine life when Lord Shiva called her.
‘Did you hear anything about this new fad of immersion carnivals?’ he asked.
‘Immersion carnival?’ Durga was surprised.
She came over to Shiva and looked at the TV screen – it was a live demonstration of immersion processions presided over by the grand lady of Bengal. It is rumored that not a single leaf dares to turn or a bird dares to sing or a dog dares to bark without her permission.
‘Seems to be an interesting affair,’ Durga said as she sat down beside Shiva.
‘People are comparing it to the Rio Carnival,’ Shiva remarked.
‘That is noisier, livelier and more colorful,’ Durga said.

‘But, can this Sharad carnival draw audience from abroad?’
‘Time only can tell that,’ Durga replied.
‘I hear she had the idea during her recent visit to Europe,’ Shiva said. ‘She has already installed a Big Ben in the city and will have a giant Eye soon on the Hoogly. Probably she feels that foreigners will be impressed if they can get all such landmarks compressed into one city. A street carnival will add some weight.’
‘She certainly has outlandish ideas,’ Durga added. ‘There are rumors that next year onwards, the festival will be a 10-day affair.’
‘That means your annual trip will be a 10-day one?’
‘Yes. And – you’ll have to fend for yourself for ten whole days.’
‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll manage,’ Shiva assured. Inwardly he was happy, he would enjoy still more ganja. ‘You worry about yourself. You will have to remain cooped up in the pandals for ten days. It will be a terrible experience in the hot, humid surroundings.’
Durga laughed.
‘The organizers will install air conditioners and air blowers,’ she said. ‘They will replace the agarbatti manufacturers and become the main sponsors.’
‘Why not hand fans?’ Shiva asked. ‘It could give a boost to the hand fan manufacturing industry. If properly marketed, it could earn recognition among the foreign tourists who would be to watch the gala immersion parade on Red Road.’
Durga did not have any ready answer. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Lord Shiva’s Durga puja is about selfish people and selfies (satire)

Lord Shiva was totally relaxed. Durga had gone to her mother’s and the surroundings of Mount Kailash were calm and quiet. No sound of cooking came from the kitchen. Durga had, like a dutiful and loving Indian wife had cooked in advance and stocked the freezer with a variety of ready-to-eat dishes.
It was afternoon and Shiva was sitting in the shade of a tree after a dose of chillum when his smartphone rang. Durga was on the line.
‘Are you feeling lonely?’ he asked.
‘Not lonely but confused,’ Durga sighed.
‘Why?’
‘In one pandal, I am surrounded by broken bricks, in another pandal, it is sea shells, in a third it is coconuts. My devotees are exploiting me. To them, I have become a means to make money. There is no devotion.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Shiva consoled her. ‘It’s all for a good cause.’
‘How?’
‘This annual ritual surrounding your visit to your mother’s place has spawned a whole number of industries and generated thousands of jobs. It has reduced unemployment.’
‘I think your dose of ganja has gone to your head. You must be hallucinating.’
‘I am serious,’ Shiva said. ‘The annual puja that you are seeing is the result of a whole year’s effort by a group of people. And, these people are artists, artisans and think tanks. They are intellectuals and scour the internet to come up with revolutionary ideas to mint money.’
‘Don’t talk in riddles,’ Durga was irritated.
‘The brains behind these pujas work overtime to conjure up ways and means of making money. They select a design for the pandal and then sets the ball rolling. They have to generate enough employment potentials for their trusted followers to keep them happy.’
‘I really think you are stoned.’
‘No. I am absolutely sane. You must remember Rome was not built in a day.’
‘What has Rome got to do with Kolkata?’
‘Plenty. Believe me –the puja organizers are real genius. They dream up a theme like making the pandal out of seashells. And – procure them from people who will pay them back when required. It’s a major political game. Sponsors shell out the money and the organizers make the most of the opportunity.’
‘Now I understand why the awards go to those with political connections.’
‘Durga Puja today is about selfish people and selfies,’ Shiva said. (to be concluded …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Mahalaya is here and Durga is set for her annual trip (satire)

At last it was Mahalaya. The much awaited day had arrived and Goddess Durga was as excited as a child – waiting to go to her mother’s place for a few days of rest away from the humdrum of routine life. Suddenly Lakshmi came up to her.
‘Mummy,’ she looked worried. ‘I heard that mosquitoes are killing people down there. What should I do? I don’t want to get bitten by those pests and catch dengue.’
‘I know,’ Durga said. ‘It is a problem for not only you but for all of us. We will not die or fall sick but we can be bitten and that will hurt.’
‘Shall I get in touch with that yogi baba who creates magic potions?’
‘You mean Baba Someday?’
‘Yes. He can give us some sort of paste to rub on our body so that it acts as a shield against mosquito attack.’

Just then Lord Shiva came up to them.
‘That is why I feel you should stop this annual visit,’ he said. ‘The people down there do not bother about us. They have become selfish and are showoffs.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Durga objected. ‘You look at the women on Ashtami day. They fast and come to pray and get my blessings.’
Shiva smiled.
‘Actually they come to display their sarees and jewelry. There is no sincerity. They fast all right but, come for Anjali after booking a table at the restaurant.’
‘I agree with you,’ Ganesh said. He had also sauntered over to hear what was being discussed. ‘These people are so hungry. Immediately the anjali is over, they rush to enjoy the five course meal. Sorry – not five but it is a much longer meal.’
‘A twelve course meal,’ Shiva said. ‘It starts with begun bhaja, luchi and chholar dal and ends with rasogolla and mishti doi. In between comes the pulao, topshey fry, murgir theng, dab chingri, kasha mangsho, aloo bakhra chutney. That adds up to a twelve course meal, right?’
Durga nodded as did Ganesh.
‘Moreover the so-called devotees are more devoted to setting fashion trends,’ Shiva went on. ‘The puja is supposed to start on Saptami but, pujas ae inaugurated much before that. Do you know why?'
‘Yes, I know,’ she replied. ‘It is because celebrities are overworked. They have to inaugurate so many big budget pujas and they can’t do that in one day. So – they have to spread it out over a period of time.’
Shiva grinned.
‘I will not criticize your beloved devotees,' he said. ‘Have a happy journey and be careful of the potholes.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Lion King, Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse of Mount Kailash

As Goddess Durga and her family was engaged in small talks, in another part of Mount Kailash sat the group of animals who have become an integral part of Durga’s family. There was the Lion King, there was Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse apart from the Wise Owl and the peacock.
‘The visit down there is no longer interesting,’ Lion King moaned softly. ‘There is no jungle to romp about or chase animals.’
‘How come?’ Donald Duck quacked. ‘I keep hearing all the time about a flourishing Jungle Raj that makes things happen.’
‘That is the jungle of muscle men,’ Lion said. ‘The only jungle I know has trees and trees are hardly to be seen nowadays. They have been sacrificed to develop housing for the humans. I sometimes wonder how can they live copped up in such pigeon holes.’

‘I know how you feel,’ Donald Duck sighed. ‘Water bodies have also vanished and I miss the ponds and lakes.’
‘And – I keep sleeping,’ Wise Owl said. ‘Night never falls. There is so much artificial lighting and the merrymaking of revelers go on and on. I lose my appetite because unless night falls, I cannot go hunting for my food and have to remain hungry.’
Mickey Mouse now made his presence felt.
‘I also face difficult times when I go down there,’ he squeaked. ‘The cats have become lazy and do not chase us any longer. They cozy up with their owners and relax on sofas. They don’t need to hunt for food, it comes to them.’
‘The world is going topsy-turvy,’ Lion King yawned and stretched his muscles. ‘It is becoming monotonous trying to fight the Asuras – they are really indestructible and invincible. And – they actually keep changing their shapes. One minute they are so kind hearted, the next moment the devil in them rises.’
‘I can feel things will change,’ Wise Old Owl said.
‘Yes,’ Mickey Mouse nodded. ‘The bad ones need to be punished and Didi nows just how to get them in line.’
‘How?’ Donald Duck asked.
‘She will hold a meeting and ensure that everyone turns up to listen to her.’
‘Will they come?’
‘Of course they will come – it will be a picnic. They need not pay any fare and she will promise them a hearty breakfast of kochuri and jilepi, full lunch with machher jhol, plus tea and jhal muri. No Bengali can ignore such a spread.’
‘Where will the funds come from?’
‘From her paintings. She’ll paint a few masterpieces and sell them off.’
‘Fine. Then what?’
‘She will chide the bad ones. She will threaten them with dire consequences. And – they will never dare to go against her wishes.’
‘Good. But – will I get back my jungle?’ Lion King asked.
‘And – will I get back my pond?’ Donald Duck asked.
There was no response from the Wise Old Owl – he had fallen asleep. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)

‘How are the preparations going on?’ Lord Shiva asked to nobody in particular. He seemed to be off mood because, once Durga leaves with her kids for her mother’s home, he would be left alone to fend for himself. It was an annual affair and he had got used to it – he would enjoy the freedom.
‘The number of pujas are increasing,’ Saraswati said. ‘Kids today do not pray any longer for my intervention - they have got addicted to coaching classes and are scoring nearly full marks.’
‘I know,’ Lakshmi joined in the conversion. ‘They have unearthed innumerable methods to make money and are deserting me.’
‘You are so very right,’ Ganesh intervened. ‘Earlier, only a section of people used to worship me in Bengal. But, today, the numbers have increased. They seek my blessings for their investments in chit funds. My image is taking a beating.’
Kartika had been a silent spectator till now.

‘And what is your opinion?’ Durga prodded him. ‘You are the one who is supposed to make the fashion statement.’
‘Fashion is not there anymore,’ Kartika sighed. ‘Actors go bare bodied, actresses wear the skimpiest of dresses. And – it is not due to fashion but due to convenience.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Have you seen them dance?’
‘Yes. Every movie has dance sequences. That is the tradition.’
‘Right. But – the nature of the dance has changed. Today it is all about throwing your hands and legs in all directions. And – to perform such antics, one cannot be tied down in too much dress. It is the requirement – like in sports. Those who run to win medals wear the scantiest of dress – just to ensure respectability.’
‘Where does that leave you?’ Durga asked.
‘Stranded,’ Kartika replied.
‘Actually, Bengalis are gradually losing their culture,’ Durga sighed. ‘They want everything on a platter. Gone are the days when the women would think up new recipes to win the hearts of her family members.’
‘They don’t have time to think about such trivialities,’ Shiva murmured from his corner.
‘You can’t blame the women,’ Durga protested. ‘They now chip in with their salaries to enjoy the goodies that life has to offer.’
‘I know,’ Shiva grinned. ‘I can see that from the huge crowds in the pandals – they do not have time to pray to you. They are busy taking selfies and wondering about the table booked in the restaurant to enjoy over long forgotten Bengali menus.’
Ganesh strolled up stroking his paunch.
‘I should now,’ he said. ‘The restaurants have master chefs who try hard to replicate the recipes of their mothers and grandmothers.’
‘And – the owners roll in money while the patrons roll in agony - at the size of the bill.’
‘One has to pay to enjoy the good things of life,’ Durga became philosophical. ‘Everything comes with a price tag.’(to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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