Lord Shiva and his tandav dance (satire)

Lord Shiva is, as we all know, a bohemian character – and he was unhappy. No, it was not a marital tiff – he worshipped the ground that Durga walked on and, Durga also knew that her husband was in a special league because he was a bohemian. She also guessed that he was worried.
‘Want to share your thoughts?’ she asked him.
‘My life is miserable,’ he lamented.
‘Why?’ Durga asked.
‘Killing of tigers is banned and my stock of tiger skins is running out,’ Shiva said.
‘Artificial tiger skins are available online. I have shown you how to order online.’
‘What about ash? Burning ghats are vanishing, where do I get the ash to smear on my body?’
Durga laughed.

‘There are thousands of body powder in the market,’ she said. ‘Take your pick.’
‘And the bel pata, leaves of the bel tree? They also are not seen – the trees have been cut down to make space for multi storied buildings. Ganja is banned, no one dares to cultivate poppy anymore. My devotees have changed their outlook,’ Shiva sighed.
‘It is but natural,’ Durga said. ‘They now live in a world of make believe and want to grab more than they can digest. That results in indigestion.’
‘What about me? No one celebrates Shivaratri any more. Staying up all night watching movies is a thing of the past.’ ‘You are mistaken. They do watch movies throughout the night. They watch it on their smartphones.’
‘You mean movies depicting me and my lifestyle?’
‘Well – they live in a world of their own and have their own idea of Shiva.’
‘Yes, they only love my tandav dance,’ he said. ‘Both the boys and the girls shake their bodies in a way that I could never have imagined.’
‘Always look at the bright side,’ Durga smiled.
The Lord sighed.
He does live in a world of his own. He loves to smear his body with ash instead of sprinkling talcum powder. He loves to smoke ganja even though people look down upon drugs which have ruined many lives. He loves to stay in the burning ghat which is more attractive to him than the banks of the Ganges. And, he loves the company of bulls that follow him as does Bhringi, his man-of-all-seasons. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Barack Obama enters the league of top US Presidents with ranking of 12

Public tours of the White House will begin again from March 7

Explosion in French nuclear power plant in a non-nuclear zone


Didi caught in the whirlpool of industries (satire)

Moody’s love hate relationship with the raincoat (satire)

The curse of social media – cold blooded murders committed


Mumbai will get to see Justin Bieber in action on May 10

Kangana Ranaut is 'fearless Julia' in Rangoon

Shakti Kapoor holds his audience spellbound in the Khandagiri Yatra


ISIS carries out car bombing in Baghdad - kills at least 55

Suicide bomb attack kills at least 72 in a Sufi shrine in Pakistan

Mayor of London worried about ISIS attacks on the city

Lord Shiva’s Durga puja is about selfish people and selfies (satire)

Lord Shiva was totally relaxed. Durga had gone to her mother’s and the surroundings of Mount Kailash were calm and quiet. No sound of cooking came from the kitchen. Durga had, like a dutiful and loving Indian wife had cooked in advance and stocked the freezer with a variety of ready-to-eat dishes.
It was afternoon and Shiva was sitting in the shade of a tree after a dose of chillum when his smartphone rang. Durga was on the line.
‘Are you feeling lonely?’ he asked.
‘Not lonely but confused,’ Durga sighed.
‘Why?’
‘In one pandal, I am surrounded by broken bricks, in another pandal, it is sea shells, in a third it is coconuts. My devotees are exploiting me. To them, I have become a means to make money. There is no devotion.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Shiva consoled her. ‘It’s all for a good cause.’
‘How?’
‘This annual ritual surrounding your visit to your mother’s place has spawned a whole number of industries and generated thousands of jobs. It has reduced unemployment.’
‘I think your dose of ganja has gone to your head. You must be hallucinating.’
‘I am serious,’ Shiva said. ‘The annual puja that you are seeing is the result of a whole year’s effort by a group of people. And, these people are artists, artisans and think tanks. They are intellectuals and scour the internet to come up with revolutionary ideas to mint money.’
‘Don’t talk in riddles,’ Durga was irritated.
‘The brains behind these pujas work overtime to conjure up ways and means of making money. They select a design for the pandal and then sets the ball rolling. They have to generate enough employment potentials for their trusted followers to keep them happy.’
‘I really think you are stoned.’
‘No. I am absolutely sane. You must remember Rome was not built in a day.’
‘What has Rome got to do with Kolkata?’
‘Plenty. Believe me –the puja organizers are real genius. They dream up a theme like making the pandal out of seashells. And – procure them from people who will pay them back when required. It’s a major political game. Sponsors shell out the money and the organizers make the most of the opportunity.’
‘Now I understand why the awards go to those with political connections.’
‘Durga Puja today is about selfish people and selfies,’ Shiva said. (to be concluded …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Taiwan struck by Typhoon Megi, third typhoon in two weeks

Terrorist alarm in Uran was the figment of a 12-year-old schoolgirl's imagination

Tourist season in Kaziranga National Park to start from October 1 instead of November 1


Moody is off mood – Na Buzz had fooled him again (satire)

Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


9300 people killed in Russian airstrikes in Syria during last year

MH17 flight shot down by rocket over Ukraine in 2014 was work of pro-Moscow rebels

Shooting in Burlington - gunman on the run after shooting dead four women in a shopping center


Mark Wahlberg talks about movie on Deepwater Horizon explosion in the Gulf of Mexico

Adele creates a record - her latest album 25 has gone platinum in the US

Movie memorabilia go under the hammer - Batman's batpod fetches £312,000