Lord Shiva cracks jokes and Durga fries samosas (satire)

Sitting high up on top of Mount Kailash, Lord Shiva was watching Ganesh stifling a yawn. Normally, he is a very active individual but, of late, he appeared to be off mood.
‘Did you get a good night’s sleep?’ Shiva asked his son.
‘Life is boring,’ Ganesh replied. ‘My disciples do not pray to me anymore. They are busy trying to wriggle out of a tricky situation of outdated banknotes.’
‘I know,’ Lakshmi said. She had joined her brother. ‘Your disciples do not pray to you but, I am besieged with prayers from my devotees. They are the women who run the households – they do not know how to account their hidden treasures.’
‘The situation is certainly gloomy,’ Shiva murmured. ‘But - I have my eyes and ears open to see the antics of the leaders.’
Durga now joined her husband. She had been in the kitchen preparing samosas – the hot snacks could liven up any dull atmosphere.

‘Since when have you got interested in politicians?’ she asked, wiping her palm on the pallu.
‘Watching them flitting from one place to another is fun,’ Shiva grinned. ‘One of them goes around the world, the other goes around the country.’
‘They want to spread their base and eliminate all types of opposition,’ Durga said.
‘That is downright silly,’ Shiva went on. ‘For life to be meaningful, there must be some sort of opposition. You must have someone to fight with. Otherwise, life becomes dull and boring.’
‘Both of them have to do something to keep themselves busy. Remember, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
‘So – they hit the trail,’ Shiva was not happy. ‘They don’t have any family to support as such. One of them is married and boasts of his 56-inch chest. But, his wife is always away on pilgrimage. The other boasts of her hawaii chappals and has not yet tied the knot.’
‘That is why none of them understands the hardships of the family man’ Durga sighed. ‘Let us not waste our time discussing them. I plan to give you a surprise for breakfast. Let me move to the kitchen.’
‘I smell samosas in the air,’ Ganesh said. ‘Must be to test the ghee you have obtained from the yoga guru, right?’ ‘All the better to fry them with,’ Durga said and moved towards her kitchen. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Didi in need of dummies and robots (satire)

Didi works round the clock and, the work involves regular activities involving meetings with her administrative staff, delegates from local and overseas industries apart from senior members of her party.
She loves talking and welcomes such meetings because dialogues can solve many problems.
But – when she has to also attend inauguration of pujas and distribution of largesse to the people, it strains her energy. So she called a meeting of those close to her.
‘I think you should delegate some of your work,’ Patro Chatto said. ‘Especially the routine stuff.’
‘Yes,’ Moo Cool agreed. ‘I know you always want to extend your personal touch everywhere but, age will always take its toll.’
‘I also agree,’ Omit Misra said. ‘In my opinion, you must have dummies. It would be a part of your security exercise also because you are now an important leader, a VVIP.’

‘Dummies will be real dummies,’ Dee Wreck assured. ‘There are quite a few actresses who would gladly stand-in for you and no one would know. It is common practice all over the world.’
‘I want complete secrecy,’ Didi cautioned. ‘I want to spend time painting pictures and writing poems. A dummy would help. How will you maintain secrecy?’
‘We will select someone from the police or the home guards,’ Moo Cool suggested.
‘Or – we could check out among the villagers of Jungle Mahal,’ Dee Wreck said.
‘Or even go abroad,’ Patro Chatto said. ‘There could be someone resembling you somewhere in the world.’
‘Or – ask our labs to create a humanoid robot,’ Show Van gave his idea. He had just entered and joined the meeting. He was delayed because of dug up roads.
At long last Didi cleared her throat and looked at Moo Cool.
‘I rely on you to locate a suitable dummy,’ she said.
‘How many do we need?’
‘At least two – in case one of them falls sick, there must be a standby.’
Moo Cool smiled and walked to the door. He opened it and ushered in four of them who were splitting images of Didi. The same sari, the same hairdo, the same Hawaii chappals.
‘One of them is a robot,’ Moo Cool said. ‘It can speak just like you, complete with accents. Its mannerisms are the same as yours and it is programed to say what you want it to say. Can you spot her?’ (to be continued …)


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