Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga discuss swipe machines (satire)

The electronic age has finally caught up with Lord Shiva, Goddess Durga and the whole of Mount Kailash. People are really growing up at last and, in spite of polluted River Ganga and people sitting on railway tracks every morning, they are learning to swipe plastic cards.

‘Did you hear the news?’ Shiva asked Durga.
‘News are always happening,’ Dutga replied. Her eyes were on the TV screen. She was watching in rapt admiration as a woman fried brinjals and, simultaneously, explained the intricate process of how to make the final product attractive. Unless it appealed to her family members, there was no majaa.
‘The lovely tinkle of coins and the feel of crisp bank notes would soon be a thing of the past,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘That is a good idea,’ Durga replied. ‘It will create a healthy society.’
‘What do you mean?’ Shiva was surprised. ‘Do you know how many people have died standing in ATM queues to collect new bank notes? And the tension they suffer from to get change for Rs 2000 notes?’
‘My dear husband, don’t you realize that coins and notes carry germs and spread diseases. They pass from one hand to another and pick up unwanted germs. Is it not a good decision to ban such disease carriers?’
‘Agreed’ Shiva smiled. ‘But – it will put the doctors out of business. And – also the manufacturers of medicines.’
‘They will go in for manufacture of swipe machines,’ Durga said. ‘The market of these machines is growing. Even beggars are keeping these with them. They also have to survive.’
‘I never looked at it in this way,’ Shiva said. ‘It will give a huge boost to the Make in India campaign. But – there is another problem.’
‘What is that?’
‘What’ll happen to the piggy banks where housewives used to store their ill-gotten gains made out of their hubby’s wallets?’
‘They have become obsolete. Wallets today are all electronic wallets.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Didi’s plans go awry – black money rears its head (satire)

Didi woke up to a new day after the wonderful evening spent in the company of celebrities of the silver screen. She personally handed over to them her paintings that are high value items – she had sold them to arrange finances for the historic campaign that brought to power.
But – there was gloom around her because there was a sea of housewives outside her house. They were badly affected by the sudden decision of scrapping old bank notes.
It was a real shock to these housewives because they had accumulated quite a lot of money in their secret piggy banks by diversion of funds allotted to them by their hubbies to take care of family expenses.

The amounts in these piggy banks came in handy for extra expenses and, keeping it secret was a sort of game that they played with their hubbies. It was an expression of saying in their way that ‘I too care’.
They were now at a loss of how to keep their treasure trove a secret.
Didi gave them a patient hearing and assured them that she would take up the matter with Delhi.
By the time they dispersed, there was another delegation that had arrived at her doorstep.
They were small time traders who dealt in the goodies of winter – goodies like nalen gur and joynagarer moah. All of a sudden they were stranded because there were no buyers. They wanted Didi to buy off their items and help them out. They suggested that she could store the products and sell them off through her well-oiled machinery as she did for potatoes.
Once again Didi assured them to look into the matter and explore possibilities of helping them out of this predicament.
By the time they left, there was a third group of people. They were the organizers of the exhibitions that are held during winter.
And – behind them were members of various syndicates. They did not know how to take care of the accumulated black money. They wanted her advice.
Didi immediately called an emergency meeting of her confidantes and, within no time, they arrived. There was Moo Cool, Patro Chatto, Show Van, Omit Misra, Dee Wreck, Golla Sen and, Chandi Ma. All of them appeared to be off mood. They had missed their Sunday special lunch of mutton dishes. None of the shops accepted Rs 2000 notes as payment towards of 1-Kg of mutton worth Rs 500 – they just did not have the change to give back! (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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