Didi’s Rose garden withers in the valley (satire)

The rose is a flower that spreads its fragrance far and wide but it also has thorns that can injure. Shakespeare has already praised the flower and said that the rose by any name remains a rose. But, when things turn sour, the garden withers and the leftovers are hard to digest.
That was Didi’s dilemma – the rose garden in the valley has withered and the stink that it has created has made life too prickly.
She was closeted with her associates Moo Cool and Dee Wreck and was racking her brain to come up with a solution. ‘I must divert attention,’ she said. ‘I want to use another weapon to blunt the threat.’

‘I have an idea,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘The solution lies in processions. Our boys are great at it and, can rustle up thousands of people in no time.’
‘What sort of procession?’ Didi asked.
‘A procession of the downtrodden that will take us closer to the masses.’
‘What exactly do you have in mind?’ Moo Cool now asked. He felt he was closer to Didi and hated to see Dee Wreck take any credit.
‘Tell me – who have been most affected by the note ban?’ Dee Wreck put a counter question.
‘Practically everyone,’ Moo Cool mumbled. ‘The queues in front of ATMs have become a permanent feature of the landscape. Queues of people staring blankly at the placard showing ‘No Cash’ or ‘ATM down’.
Dee Wreck smiled.
‘No Sir,’ he replied. ‘People most affected by the notebandi are the poor beggars and the pickpockets. Beggars are not getting alms, pockets that the pickpockets pick are empty. They will take out the processions. They will walk for a pittance’
‘What about the slogans and placards that they’ll carry?’ Didi wanted to know.
‘Simple slogans like ‘We Want Pockets Full’, ‘Down With ATMs’, ‘Say No To Plastic Money’ ‘Long Live Beggars’, ‘Give Back Our Birthright’ – the possibilities are unlimited.’
‘Good – I want to implement it immediately,’ Didi said. ‘Go ahead and ensure that the message goes out to the remotest corner. It is a fight for survival.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Didi on black money and ‘Notebandi – the Note Bandits’ (satire)

Didi always plays her cards right. She knows just when to strike the red hot iron so that it takes the proper shape. The scrapping of old notes was what she needed – it was a chink in the armor of her opponents – black money continued to remain hidden.
She wanted to drive the wedge in.
‘What do I do now?’ she asked Moo Cool, her closest confidante.
‘Bulldoze,’ he replied.
‘Bulldoze? But bull is related to cattle,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to be associated with any form of cattle. It could send out wrong signals to my dedicated vote bank.’
Moo Cool sighed.

‘I can assure you that your vote bank will remain intact,’ he said. ‘What you must do now is to keep hitting the opposition. They are now at a disadvantage because the common man is still crying. They have money but cannot use it. They are wasting hours in front of ATMs or in bank queues and are even dying. These are your weapons.’
At this point, Dee Wreck joined the discussion.
‘I have studied the present situation,’ he said. ‘I think the time is ripe to launch an attack that will cripple the opposition.’
‘And what is that?’ Didi asked.
‘Bowl them over with your googlies.’
‘How?’
‘There are so many movie stars young and old in our ranks, right?’ Dee Wreck asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And - there is one from Bollywood who also owns a cricket club in our city. They can all be roped in for a special movie titled ‘Notebandi – the Note bandits’. It will be a runway hit.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Moo Cool added. ‘There could be a detective angle with a character like our so popular Boom Cash – the ultimate detective. He could go about hunting for the bandits.’
‘And – it will be in black and white,’ Dee Wreck added. ‘No color.’
‘Why?’ Didi asked.
‘Because its theme will be black. It will have blacks – right from black money, black market, blackout, black cat, black deed, black magic, black flags, blackbird etcetera.’ (to be continued…)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva and long ATM queues - bullock carts and ATM don't gel (satire)

Winter had arrived and Lord Shiva loved winter – it was the season of everything that is good right from sweets made of nalen gur to picnics and exhibitions and fairs. But, suddenly, he was stumped as he watched people in ATM queues, people who normally loved chaos and hated anything orderly were suddenly queuing up outside those cubicles that dispensed money at any time of the day.

Suddenly Durga appeared with a cup of hot steaming tea – the aroma was great, pure handpicked leaves of Darjeeling tea.
‘Anything interesting in your sights?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ Shiva replied lowering his binoculars. ‘There are queues in front of every ATM.’
‘ATMs dispense money 24X7 – why should be there any queue?’
‘I don’t know. That is why I am surprised.’
‘I think our Ganesh might know,’ Durga said and rang him up on the smartphone.
‘Yes mummy – what is the problem?’
‘Do you know about queues in ATMs?’
‘They are playing a new game,’ Ganesh said. ‘ATMs are not giving money any longer and people are waiting to be the first in line to collect whatever comes out.’
‘This is a very strange game,’ Shiva said. ‘I have been seeing people in jogging suits make a beeline to be the first in queue. Don’t they have to go to work?’
‘They must first have money to buy food,’ Ganesh said. ‘And – banknotes have become dud. Markets are down because there are hardly any customers. Even the online shopping has come to a standstill because they are withdrawing the COD option.’
‘I fail to understand why ATMs do not have money?’ Durga wanted to know.
‘Mummy, it is all a question of size,’ Ganesh explained. ‘New notes have been released but ATMs don’t have trays to accept them.’
‘Oh!’ Shiva was surprised. ‘When you mentioned size I thought that you were referring to the 56-inch size.’ Ganesh laughed.
‘That is now after the bullet train,’ he said.
Shiva also laughed.
‘I’d love to see bullet trains compete with bullock carts,’ he said. ‘It’d be a fantastic sight. In our part of the world, bullets are no competition against bullocks.’
'If you ask me, bullock carts and ATm somehow don't gel,' Durga added. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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