Didi’s Rose garden withers in the valley (satire)

The rose is a flower that spreads its fragrance far and wide but it also has thorns that can injure. Shakespeare has already praised the flower and said that the rose by any name remains a rose. But, when things turn sour, the garden withers and the leftovers are hard to digest.
That was Didi’s dilemma – the rose garden in the valley has withered and the stink that it has created has made life too prickly.
She was closeted with her associates Moo Cool and Dee Wreck and was racking her brain to come up with a solution. ‘I must divert attention,’ she said. ‘I want to use another weapon to blunt the threat.’

‘I have an idea,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘The solution lies in processions. Our boys are great at it and, can rustle up thousands of people in no time.’
‘What sort of procession?’ Didi asked.
‘A procession of the downtrodden that will take us closer to the masses.’
‘What exactly do you have in mind?’ Moo Cool now asked. He felt he was closer to Didi and hated to see Dee Wreck take any credit.
‘Tell me – who have been most affected by the note ban?’ Dee Wreck put a counter question.
‘Practically everyone,’ Moo Cool mumbled. ‘The queues in front of ATMs have become a permanent feature of the landscape. Queues of people staring blankly at the placard showing ‘No Cash’ or ‘ATM down’.
Dee Wreck smiled.
‘No Sir,’ he replied. ‘People most affected by the notebandi are the poor beggars and the pickpockets. Beggars are not getting alms, pockets that the pickpockets pick are empty. They will take out the processions. They will walk for a pittance’
‘What about the slogans and placards that they’ll carry?’ Didi wanted to know.
‘Simple slogans like ‘We Want Pockets Full’, ‘Down With ATMs’, ‘Say No To Plastic Money’ ‘Long Live Beggars’, ‘Give Back Our Birthright’ – the possibilities are unlimited.’
‘Good – I want to implement it immediately,’ Didi said. ‘Go ahead and ensure that the message goes out to the remotest corner. It is a fight for survival.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga discuss swipe machines (satire)

The electronic age has finally caught up with Lord Shiva, Goddess Durga and the whole of Mount Kailash. People are really growing up at last and, in spite of polluted River Ganga and people sitting on railway tracks every morning, they are learning to swipe plastic cards.

‘Did you hear the news?’ Shiva asked Durga.
‘News are always happening,’ Dutga replied. Her eyes were on the TV screen. She was watching in rapt admiration as a woman fried brinjals and, simultaneously, explained the intricate process of how to make the final product attractive. Unless it appealed to her family members, there was no majaa.
‘The lovely tinkle of coins and the feel of crisp bank notes would soon be a thing of the past,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘That is a good idea,’ Durga replied. ‘It will create a healthy society.’
‘What do you mean?’ Shiva was surprised. ‘Do you know how many people have died standing in ATM queues to collect new bank notes? And the tension they suffer from to get change for Rs 2000 notes?’
‘My dear husband, don’t you realize that coins and notes carry germs and spread diseases. They pass from one hand to another and pick up unwanted germs. Is it not a good decision to ban such disease carriers?’
‘Agreed’ Shiva smiled. ‘But – it will put the doctors out of business. And – also the manufacturers of medicines.’
‘They will go in for manufacture of swipe machines,’ Durga said. ‘The market of these machines is growing. Even beggars are keeping these with them. They also have to survive.’
‘I never looked at it in this way,’ Shiva said. ‘It will give a huge boost to the Make in India campaign. But – there is another problem.’
‘What is that?’
‘What’ll happen to the piggy banks where housewives used to store their ill-gotten gains made out of their hubby’s wallets?’
‘They have become obsolete. Wallets today are all electronic wallets.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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