Lord Shiva unable to fathom IPL T20 cricket (satire)

Lord Shiva was sitting in front of his TV set trying to fathom the mysteries of the so-very popular game called cricket and its pure desi version called IPL. Durga was also with him – she had picked up plenty of cricket jargon and would spice up the conversation.
‘Who are Duckworth and Lewis?’ Lord Shiva suddenly asked.
‘They are cricket experts,’ Durga replied. ‘They have evolved a system to play cricket even though it rains.’
‘You mean the two of them make raincoats like the Duckback raincoats?’
‘No. They calculate how many runs the side batting second would require to win a rain curtailed match. In T20 cricket one team must win – there is no such thing as draw.’
‘Don’t you think this T20 is a funny game?’ Shiva asked.

‘Certainly not,’ Durga replied. ‘It is a game tailored for the modern day.’
‘How do you say that?’ Shiva was not convinced.
‘People do not have time to watch a game for the whole day. So they have designed this shorter version. It is short and sweet.’
‘You mean sweet like the girls in short dresses who cheer the players and blow kisses in the wind?’
‘They are a part of the package deal,’ Durga replied.
‘They look to be imported stuff,’ Shiva said. ‘Why don’t they give this job to the locals? There are plenty of local girls who also dance to the galleries and are experts at item numbers.’
‘T20 cricket has spawned innumerable avenues of business and employment,’ Durga explained. ‘Cheer girls are one – if Delhi wants, they can clamp down on foreigners and insist that only desi girls must dance.’
‘But then – there could be problems.’
‘Why?’
‘They could insist on dress codes and ban skin-shows.’
‘You are right,’ Durga agreed. ‘That possibility does exist.’
‘The whole world has gone gaga over IPL T20 cricket and the TV channels are minting millions of rupees just to feed the needs of the masses,’ Shiva said.
‘It has its positive side,’ Durga said. ‘New venues are being created to hold the matches. That means constructing new stadiums complete with floodlights and a whole horde of people to look after them. New employment opportunities are being created. Don’t you think that is good?’
‘I think you are right,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘I can see old time cricket players on the TV screen – either giving the live commentary or giving expert advice. And – umpires of old who don new dresses to check irregularities on the field. There is an addition ‘third’ umpire who has to check and decide on contentious issues.’
‘And – girls get an equal opportunity,’ Durga added. ‘Not only as cheer leaders but also in the studio as commentators or as experts. And in the field to entertain he cricket lovers.’
‘Tell me – who coined the word cricket for this game? Why did they select cricket instead of spider or cockroach?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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