Moody’s skill development program (satire)

Moody had been in saddle for more than one year and he was worried about his bunch of eager beavers who were continuously up to something or the other. His critics were there crouching in every corner, ready to corner him and pull him down but, his oratory powers stopped them in their tracks.
Still, Moody was a worried man. There was a weighty problem on his head.
He looked around at his band of trusted lieutenants and cleared his throat.
‘Hope you have come prepared?’ he asked.
All of them nodded. They dare not say that they were not informed about any agenda. Moody would not like that. So, they just nodded and prepared to brave whatever onslaught comes because no one questioned the leader – he is the Boss and the Boss is always right.
There were the usual bunch of Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Ranee-ji, Uma-ji, Nitty Gadcurry, Hash Budden and Baba Someday. ‘Do you know what I have in my hand?’ Moody asked and waved a sheaf of papers.
There was pin drop silence.
‘It is a weighty issue,’ Moody said.
‘Is our good neighbor playing pranks again?’ Jet Lee wanted to know.
‘No,’ Sue Sharma intervened. ‘He will not dare to do anything. He has got a severe baulking from you-know-who. If he plays mischief, he will not get his fighter plane.’
‘Then?’ Nitty asked no one in particular.

‘I have with me an interesting list,’ Moody said. ‘I want it to be a part of our skill development program. I want your views on it. How should we approach it.’
‘Let us have some more input,’ Jet Lee said. He was a man of finance and depended on inputs.
‘You mentioned about a weighty issue. Is it about the traders? Are they cheating with underweight measures?’ Baba Someday was alert. In his set up in Pat & Jolie, he had installed electronic devices. No manual weighing.
‘No. I think the matter pertains to Hash Budden, the doctor and Baba Someday, the yoga specialist,’ Moody said. ‘They can make useful contribution.’
‘I will certainly do my best,’ Hash Budden replied.
‘So will I,’ Baba wiped his growth of beard and said.
‘This list is about those of you who have put on weight over the last few months and I am disturbed,’ Moody said. ‘It includes the women also,’ and he cast a meaningful glance at Ranee-ji and Uma-ji. ‘I think we must make yoga a habit and not keep it reserved for only the Yoga Day.’
‘I agree with you,’ Baba said. ‘We can meet here every morning and do yoga for an hour.’
‘I want all of you to concentrate on the skill development for weight reduction,’ Moody said. ‘It will pay dividends. We will compile the findings and release a book on ‘Skill Development for weight reduction.’ Ranee-ji can make it compulsory at all levels of education.’ (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Baba Someday to use gobar gas and yoga for space flights (satire)

Baba Someday was busy planning the launch of his spaceship with his select bunch of astronauts to make a trip to the Moon. He was delighted to have got the nod from none other than Moody himself. It did not take much convincing because Moody had implicit faith in the powers and abilities of Baba Someday.
Their meeting was short and to the point – no beating around the bush.
‘I have got just what you want,’ Baba Someday grinned as he occupied the chair opposite Moody. The Baba had a way with people. His charisma coupled with his black beard, black hair and the bare torso was an envy of many. He knew that he always stood out in any crowd.
‘Well what have you decided?’ Moody lowered his voice and asked in a whisper.
He was a firm believer in the saying that walls have ears and he did not want the secrets to leak out. Who knows – with the advancement of technology, there could be eavesdroppers thousands of miles away in USA or Russia or China or Japan.
‘Gobar gas,’ Baba Someday replied.
‘You mean gobar gas will propel your space vehicle?’ Moody asked.

‘Yes,’ the Baba replied calmly. ‘We have our cows. We are getting their milk and from that we are preparing ghee. We have also set up facilities to convert their dung into gas. It is already used for lighting our houses and the streets and even the biscuit and noodle factories.’
‘Wonderful – you are a true lover of the environment,’ Moody relaxed. ‘I must give you an award on Republic Day.’
‘Thank you.’
‘So much so for the propulsion system of your space vehicle. What about the astronauts? Have you formed your team?’ ‘They are already undergoing training.’
‘What? How have you managed to make a anti-G chamber so soon? How will they get accustomed to weightlessness? What about their diet?’
Baba Someday grinned.
‘It is all done through yoga. My team is training on fasting for at least 30-days at a time. Then they are getting trained on hypnotism. These are what our sages used to do. They used to sit under trees and meditate for months together.’
‘Good – if they could have done it, why not your boys!’
‘And, I am redesigning their training course to make it compatible to modern times,’ Baba added. ‘I am sure they will succeed in their mission.’
Moody heaved a sigh of relief. Baba Someday can be trusted to deliver – he will help Moody add yet another feather to his already crowded cap. (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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Fight fire with fire - have ‘Award Return Festivals’ (satire)

It was a really high level meeting – the topic was ‘how to eliminate intolerance’ and the venue was the penthouse of a skyscraper – hence, a high level meeting.
Moody was surrounded by his band of trusted men and women and each of them was serious because the subject was intolerance and, it was hogging the limelight. It had become a topic of discussion, and debate at every forum and, with people either returning their awards, or threatening to do so, Moody had his hands full.
‘Can anybody explain what exactly intolerance is?’ he asked.
‘If you ask me,’ Baba Someday spoke up – ‘it is the state of mind when you are not able to adjust to changes in situations’.
‘Please be more precise,’ Moody looked at Baba.
‘I can tolerate extreme changes in temperatures. Whether it is sweltering heat or freezing cold, I am fine with my dress code. Thanks to yoga, my tolerance level is high.’

‘I see,’ Moody was thoughtful. ‘That is tolerance and dress. That is why some people love to go about wearing next to nothing on the beaches while others pile up clothes like the Eskimos.’
‘Yes,’ Baba grinned.
‘But - what about intolerance in society?’ Moody asked.
‘That also is a state of the mind. Some people do not like anything to be thrust upon them. They have fixed notions of life and hate to change.’
‘May I intervene?’ Ranee asked. She knew all about education and how to change mindsets.
‘Go on,’ Moody looked at her. ‘This is a mind-blowing session.’
‘Actually such sessions are called brainstorming sessions,’ Ranee smiled.
‘Both are same, aren’t they? They involve the mind and the brain.’
Ranee did not comment. ‘To remove intolerance, we must bring everyone to a common platform,’ she said. ‘Tune them to the same frequency.’
‘How can we do that?’
‘Fight fire with fire. When people want to return awards, let us organize ‘Award Return Festivals’. Let us do it on a large scale, invite the foreign media. Let us not be cowed down by intolerance but take the bull by the horns and face the challenge bravely.’
Moody was a much relieved man as were his assistants. Ranee was a real gem, she had come up with a wonderful solution. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)


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Some live years after retirement, others do not

It is a fact that we do not have any control over our birth or death – these are two things that happen and, because there is birth, there has to be death. Of course, while birth is predicable to a certain extent depending on the condition of the pregnant mother, death is totally unpredictable. It just strikes without giving any warning or advance information.
Therefore, after retirement, every man dreads that moment which would be his last breath on this planet. Man is not immortal and has to take leave from this world one day. But, for some, it may be a long drawn process when he is ill and bedridden while for others it just happens when one least expects it.
Like a friend of mine – he retired a couple of months before me. In his service, he was a go-getter. He would get involved in any social activity and his very presence lent strength to whatever it was. He played the tabla well and, hence, in any gathering where singing was involved, he would be there.

He was also a member of the employee’s union and attended meetings with local authorities and even with national labor leaders. And, he was not just an avid follower of yoga but a yoga teacher also, long before it became a fashion statement, thanks to our Prime Minister.
Well – one day I came to know that he had suffered a stroke and one portion of his body was paralyzed. It was just unthinkable that a person who did not have a single ounce of extra fat on his body, who could perform difficult yoga asanas with ease, was lying in bed depending on others for his daily activities.
Well – he did recover and, after some months, could begin walking but, finally, he passed away. (to be continued …)
(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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