Didi announces holiday for Maha Shivratri (satire)

It is well known that our beloved Didi is a generous woman – her heart bleeds for the millions of kids who do not have shoes, for the millions of girls who do not have bicycles, for the millions of youth who are educated but do not have any job. She wants her people to be happy.
Suddenly her phone rang – it was Moo Cool.
‘Yes,’ she said.
‘I have drafted the notification for the holiday,’ Moo Cool said. ‘Shall I bring it to you for signature?’
‘Give it to Patro Chatto,’ Didi instructed. ‘He knows what to do. With a holiday on Maha Shivratri our people will be happy. That is what I want. I want my people to be happy. They will get a long weekend and will enjoy it in the zoo garden or Nico Park.’

‘And – the rumors of tie up is increasing,’ Moo Cool added.
‘I am not worried. I have come up the hard way,’ she went on. ‘I have my own strategies. I know how to cozy up to whom and when. I will never be distracted by anybody.’
‘Some of our boys are misbehaving again and again,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They are becoming greedy.’
‘I have scolded them. You are there to take care of Arra Bull, Money Rule and Anu Mandel. People like you yourself, Dee Wreck, Abhi Shake are my pillars. You know how to deal with them.’
And, Didi cut off the phone.
It is a vicious circle in which she was caught – but, she was not worried. She had at her disposal several Gouri Sens who would willingly bend over backwards to fulfil her wishes, no matter how outlandish they may be.
Sitting in her chamber in Nabanna, our Didi knew that she has the world eating out of her hand. She knew that she had a whole lot of enemies but she was not afraid – she had created a team of Franksteins and it was a formidable force.
She called them her team of naughty boys (and, girls). Yes, she had empowered the girls also because it was a war to her and, as the saying goes, all is fair in love and war.
With a sigh, she removed the covering from the canvas on the easel and picked up the paint brush. The time had come to paint another rosy picture. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Moody’s train on track – no increase in fares (satire)

It was a Big Day for not only Moody but all his men and women – it was the day when Soo Race Babu would be the center of attraction because he would open his magic box and bring out one after another goodies for the common man.
It was budget day for the railways and Moody had given strict instructions that increase in fares must not be on the agenda. If the minister needed money to run the trains, he would have to arrange it on his own.
Poor Soo Race Babu was confused when he had met Moody before drafting his budget.
‘Unless I can generate the funds, how will the railways survive?’ he had asked.

‘Think up alternate methods,’ Moody was blunt. ‘I do not want to add to the burden of the common man. They have brought us to power and must be respected.’
‘Yes,’ Jet Lee added. He was also present in the meeting. ‘Boss is right. It is better not to talk about any increase right now.’
Nitty Gadcurry smiled. He always had a ready smile on his lips and loved to share it whenever he got the chance.
‘Money is never any problem Babu-ji,’ he said. ‘Very soon bullets will speed through our countryside. The railways we have right now are ancient and once the bullets run, money will roll in.’
Poor Babu was still not convinced.
‘I want to introduce new trains,’ he said. ‘I have also coined new names because that is the tradition.’
‘That is a good idea,’ Moody looked sat him. ‘What names have you thought of?’
‘One of our previous ministers had dreamt up the ‘garib rath’ or the chariot of the poor. Then there was another one who had introduced the ‘duronto’ or wild. I want to do something similar.’
‘No one is stopping you,’ Moody said. ‘But – remember, no increase in fares.’
‘I want to introduce bio-toilets in the coaches and I want to have provision of supply of milk for children.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Nitty Gadcurry remarked. ‘We could ask Pat & Jolie to supply pure milk from his farm.’
‘Yes, that also is a good idea,’ Moody agreed. ‘But, no increase in fares. I am against that.’
Soo Race Babu threw up his hands in despair.
‘How can my projects go ahead minus funds?’
‘There is a time and place for everything,’ Moody said.
‘What it means is that you can do that exercise after a couple of months,’ Nitty Gadcurry explained under his breath.
Suddenly, Babu’s face lit up. He smiled. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Industries – the Achilles Heel of Didi (satire)

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Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)


Commuters go in for online purchase via smartphones when in packed subways

US and Cuba to restore commercial flights after 50-years

Tea and toast out of fashion in Britain just like fish and chips


Quantum jump for Priyanka Chopra from Quantico to Baywatch

Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

British actor Tom Hardy could become the new face of James Bond after Daniel Craig


Airstrikes in Syria target schools and hospitals - nearly 50 children killed

F-22 Stealth Bombers of the US fly low over South Korea skies

North Korea plans to carry out terror attacks on South Korea

Lord Shiva does the treadmill as Sarasawti advises students (satire)

Lord Shiva was on the treadmill working hard to shed those unwanted kilograms that kept gathering around his waist. His wife kept taunting him about the paunch and she had made it mandatory that he does the treadmill every morning before breakfast. He ha argued that he would do sit-ups or parallel bars but Durga insisted that it must be the treadmill and, treadmill it was. She had purchased it online and kept a tab on its usage.
Shiva looked at the Sun and understood that he had done enough for the day – he could now safely switch off the machine. But, Durga was watching from her kitchen window.
‘OK for today,’ she said. ‘You are five minutes short. Tomorrow you must make it up.’
Shiva wiped the perspiration from his neck and signaled to his trusted disciple Bhringi who was hiding behind a clump of bushes. He knew what his master wanted and was ready with the chillum of Shiva’s favorite mood setter.
Suddenly Lakshmi and Saraswati emerged from their rooms. While Lakshmi had been on her laptop trying to solve the complicated problems of finance, her sister Saraswati had plenty on her mind because board exams were on and she was getting desperate pleas for help from distant corners. The callers were the students.
The ringing of the mobile phone broke the silence. It was for Saraswati from one of her millions of fans.
‘Yes,’ Saraswati responded.

‘I am in trouble,’ the girl at the other end was in tears.
‘What happened?’ Saraswati asked.
‘Today it is English exams as per schedule and I have come prepared for that. I have mugged off all the latest suggestions.’
‘So – what is your problem?’
‘I have mixed up the dates.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Today is Monday, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘The actual exams today is for Bengali. English is next Monday.’
‘You mean you mixed up the week?’
‘Yes – what do I do now?’
‘Well – answer the Bengali paper.’
‘But – I have not come prepared. You must help me.’
‘I just don’t understand why a Bengali girl cannot answer questions in Bengali. Concentrate and put pen to paper. Something will come out.’
‘Oh dear God,’ the girl cried. ‘How can you let me down like this? I always pray to you, I have your photo on my table, I fasted on the Puja day. You can’t let me down.’
Saraswati disconnected and the phone rang again. It was another student. (to be continued …)


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Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Moody was, as always, serious and in a thoughtful mood. He had realized that yoga is the be-all and end-all and it can wow the world as it has already done. But, in order to ensure that the memories and euphoria do not vanish, he had to revive interest in this ancient form of art that is unique to our culture.
Yes, no matter what people may say, yoga is an art.
It had been practiced by the sages of yore – and, since doctors were unheard of in the days of Ramayana and Mahabharata, yoga was the only medicine to cure all ills from indigestion to broken arms.
Suddenly the door opened a fraction of an inch and Hash Budden peeped in – he was a doctor by profession and was responsible for looking after various aspects of health. Along with him was Baba Someday – a very busy man who was adept at balancing his interests in both yoga and business.
Moody waved them in.
‘Have you worked out a strategy?’ he wanted to know.

‘We will make it a bigger affair,’ Baba Someday said. ‘My Pat & Jolie will provide all refreshments right from pure milk to crisp salted biscuits and instant noodles.’
‘Good,’ Moody nodded. ‘We want to project our indigenous products to the world and the yoga meet will be an opportunity.’
‘Who knows, someone might want to import them’ Baba Someday said. ‘After all no one can deny the health benefits of Pat & Jolie foodstuffs.’
‘I think we should invite some dignitary to be the Guest of Honor on the occasion,’ Hash Budden suggested. ‘Like we did in the R-Day.’
‘I also was thinking about it,’ Moody said. ‘Any ideas?’
Before Hash Budden could reply, Sue Sharma entered with Jet Lee. Sue Sharma looked to be excited about something.
‘We have a couple of ideas for the Yoga Meet,’ Jet Lee said. ‘If you can spare a few minutes, the lady can get it off her chest.’
‘Go ahead, I am all attention,’ Moody said.
‘I just now got a call from the land of the Eskimos,’ Sue Sharma began. ‘The lady spoke in broken English and wanted to know when you would go to visit them.’
Moody was taken aback.
‘Why should I go to visit them?’ he asked. ‘What can they offer us except polar bear furs or seal skins or penguins? I don’t think any of those would be useful.’
‘Moody-ji,’ Hash Budden intervened. ‘It is a God-sent opportunity we cannot miss.’
‘Please explain.’
‘Why don’t we invite the Eskimos for the yoga meet? Their leader could be the Guest of Honor.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

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Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

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Didi knows that ghosts have their uses (satire)

‘Have they arrived?’ Didi was blunt and to the point.
‘Yes,’ Moo Cool replied in a whisper.
‘You realize that time is short,’ Didi said, also in a whisper.
‘Yes,’ Moo Cool said. ‘I’ll take care of the whole thing.’
‘Good, they are our trump cards,’ Didi said. ‘They may be invisible to others but we know they exist and will come to our rescue.’
‘I know,’ Moo Cool nodded his head. He had grown old all of a sudden. The one year that he had been out in the cold had its effect on his physique. But he knew that he was back in the seat and had to deliver.
Abhi Shake sat beside him. Poor Abhi was not happy. He has thought of usurping the place occupied by Moo Cool but that is now a pipe dream. Moo Cool is back in the saddle and Didi has rewarded him.

‘Remember,’ Didi warned Moo Cool. ‘The whole world is looking at us and we must emerge with flying colors.’
Patro Chatto cleared his throat and shifted his bulk in the chair.
‘Yes?’ Didi looked at him.
‘We must not take undue risks,’ he was apprehensive.
‘Have faith in me,’ Moo Cool assured him with his trademark smile. ‘Ghosts have a power of their own. They can make or break empires.’
‘Yes, when they join together, they can be a formidable force to reckon with,’ Omit Misra added.
‘We have seen their strength in that beauty of a movie ‘Bhooter Bhabishyat’,’ Moo Cool said.
‘Well – who all have you invited for the meeting?’ Didi asked.
‘Names do not matter,’ Moo Cool said. ‘What matters is their participation as a whole. They belong to all parties because, once you go up there, you have no separate identity. Therefore, all of them belong to us.’
‘But, our opposition parties will also rope in their own people,’ Didi cautioned.
‘That would be a tiny percentage. I am quite confident that they would not make any dent in the final outcome. You can leave it all to me.’
Even as Didi and Moo Cool were conversing, the door opened a fraction of an inch and in trooped the crowd. Some of them wore pyjamas, others lungi, and a few wore trousers or bermudas. But their faces were hidden behind mufflers – if by chance the muffler went out of place, the sight that would be revealed would make any normal man run for cover. All of them were ghosts. They had ceased to exist physically but remained on paper in the voters’ list. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

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The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


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Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Sure shot way to woo tourists – bait them with the Big Ben and Eiffel Tower (satire)

‘The die has been cast and very soon no one need to go to London to see the Big Ben or to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower,’ Didi announced. ‘They’ll get it all here in our city.’
‘Yes,’ Moo Cool added. ‘Many such masterpieces would soon decorate the City of Joy. They will add to its charms and bring in the tourists.’
‘All thanks must go to Didi,’ Patro Chatto said. ‘We can proudly say ‘I have seen the Big Ben from up close’ or ‘I have clicked a selfie in front of the Eiffel Tower.’
‘This is a major step in our efforts to woo tourists,’ Didi gave a wry smile. ‘We must arrange some more promotional videos with our brand ambassador.’

‘Don’t worry, ‘Dee Wreck assured. ‘We have covered the tram. Our next target is the hand pulled rickshaw. Our model actually wanted to draw the rickshaw and not just sit in it as a passenger with the strains of the super hit song ‘mein rickshaw wallah…’ in the background.’
‘I know him,’ Didi smiled. ‘He loves to live his role. Ensure that he gets a suitable actress as company. He flowers in the company of women.’
‘What is the next landmark in your sight?’ Moo Col wanted to know.
‘I am debating on getting either the White House or the Berlin Wall,’ Didi said. ‘Both are equally good.’
‘What about the location?’ Dee Wreck was curious.
‘We have installed the Big Ben in Lake Town, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘And plan to have the Eiffel Tower in the Eco Park, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then the White House can come up in the Millennium Park on the banks of the Hoogly.’
‘But – we had planned to have the giant Ferris Wheel there? Like ‘The Eye’ in London?’ Dee Wreck reminded.
‘Plans can and do change,’ Didi said. ‘Moreover London is already symbolized by the Big Ben.’
‘Then what about the Berlin Wall?’ Moo Cool asked.
‘I have not yet decided,’ Didi admitted. ‘It will be a toss-up between the Berlin Wall and the Great Wall of China.’
‘And, you want it on the borders?’
‘No – installing it on the border will send out the wrong message. It might affect the supply of ilish and I will lose the support of the ilish lovers. I don’t want that.’
‘Then where will you position it?’
‘All around Nabanna,’ Didi said. ‘It will save my policemen the trouble of wearing helmets all the time. Helmets can become a nuisance because you keep sweating - have you not seen cricketers on the field remove the helmet to get rid of the accumulated water?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

‘Make in India’ concept to market Ganga water (satire)

#makeindia When you have a new entity venturing into the world of development and when the top brains from all over the world remains at his beck and call, you can expect to get blasts of slogans like the ‘Make in India.’
‘It is a revolutionary concept,’ Rum Mudda praised its creator. ‘It is curiosity that will attract the manufacturers. We have created the zero and, we were the first to fly in the chariot.’
‘Exactly,’ Banka Nadoo agreed with Rum Mudda. ‘The Pushpak Rath happened millions of years before the Wright brothers saw the light of day.’
‘Yes – Make In India will turn out to be a win-win situation,’ Jet Lee joined the conversation. ‘It is a modified P-P-P module. The foreigners will come here with their expertise, make their products here with our manpower and market them all over the globe.’

‘Actually, I am not depending on foreigners,’ Baba Someday wiped his beard and said. ‘My ‘Pat & Jolie’ outfit is totally Indian. I make in India and sell them all over the world. My trade secret will die with me.’
‘I think the agarbatties could do with some French touch,’ Emma Melaney said. ‘We have our indigenous fragrances but a French connection would add to the charm.’
‘I know,’ Moody spoke at last. ‘I have mentioned it in passing to the French delegation when they had come here for the R-Day.’
‘What about our expertise in dhokla?’ Sue Sharma asked.
‘The Chinese have shown interest,’ Moody clarified. ‘They want to join the food wagon. They want to Make in India and present to the world. They have even plans to send samples to the Space Station.’
‘Good idea,’ Pro Cash gave his charming smile. ‘Stuff like dhokla, idili, dosa are all examples of fermentation. And, proper nurturing of the taste buds can win over any opposition.’
‘But we should not lose track of major industries,’ Rum Mudda reminded.
‘Don’t worry,’ Moody assured. ‘We have our sights on collaboration in the fields that matter.’
‘Yes,’ Nitty Gadcurry said. ‘We will get hold of P-P-P in manufacturing buses, trains, aero planes, ships and even two wheelers. The future belongs to us.’
‘What about cleaning the Ganga?’ Uma-ji wanted to know.
‘That is also in the agenda. But – someone has to explain how to market it?’ Jet Lee explained.
‘Why?’ Uma-ji was hurt. ‘We will market its water as fresh water. If some country can sell fresh air, there will certainly be a market for fresh water.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Industries – the Achilles Heel of Didi (satire)

The full team had assembled in Didi’s house and everyone was serous. There was Moo Cool, Patro Chatto, Abhi Shake, Omit Misra and Dee Wreck. They were Didi’s most trusted assistants and they knew that wooing industrialists to invest in the state had become a pipe dream.
Like the airport waiting for international flights to start operations.
Or – launching domestic flight routes that did not attract passengers.
‘How do we come out of the rut?’ Moo Cool asked.
‘We have to wait and watch,’ Abhi Shake said. ‘Our leader knows what is best and she will succeed where others have failed. Have faith in her. She is in the saddle and we have to support her initiatives.’
‘Yes,’ Omit Misra peered through his glasses at his compatriots and agreed. ‘We have held meetings with so many big shots. They have come here and we have made them feel at home.’

‘But – the end result is getting delayed,’ Moo Cool mumbled.
‘We just cannot put up our hands and surrender,’ Dee Wreck appeared excited. ‘I have coined a song.’
‘Let us hear it.’ Abhi Shake prodded him.
‘We have seen industries in London, we have seen industries in Singapore but industries in our state are the best by far,’ Dee Wreck sang in tune with ‘ … the ladies of Calcutta are the best by far.’
‘The trouble is the perennial tussle of which came first – the egg or the hen,’ Patro Chatto shifted his bulk in the chair to reposition himself.
‘What do you mean?’ Moo Cool demanded to know.
‘It is the fight over the land,’ Patro explained. ‘We want big industries but that requires land. If we part with the land, our farmers will desert us. And, if we do not give them land, the industries will not come. It is a Catch-22 situation.’
Suddenly Didi made her appearance.
‘How many did you catch?’ Didi looked at Patro. He blinked. He imagined that Didi wanted to know how many he caught cheating in the exams.
‘Actually, the exams went off peacefully,’ he assured her. ‘No cheating.’
‘Good – that means there would be an addition of another five lakhs educated next year?’
‘Yes.’
‘And – we have to arrange jobs for them?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then let us plan from today itself,’ Didi said. ‘Once we know the figures, we can make realistic estimates of how many cycles we will need next year. And, how many sarees. It will also help me to work out how many more paintings I will have to create and how many more books I must write next year’
‘And – it will help Omit-ji draw up his financial strategies,’ Moo Cool added. ‘He is an expert in balancing the budget.’ (To be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Kartika prepares for Valentine’s Day as Lord Shiva looks on (satire)

It was spring. Lord Shiva was sitting on a hillock with Nandi grazing nearby. Shiva’s obedient disciple Bhringi was feeding Nandi grass.
Shiva was observing his son Kartika dressing up. He appeared to be dressing up for an important occasion because he was wearing bright colored bermudas and black color sleeveless banyans. He had his hair sticking up over his heads, thanks to his newfound fascination for hair gels.
‘Where are you off to?’ Shiva asked him.
‘I want to enjoy V-Day,’ Kartika answered.
‘V-Day? What is that?’
‘Have you not heard of Valentine’s Day?’ Kartika shot back.

He appeared to be in a bad mood. He had ordered the latest brand of Deo Spray that was supposed to make the girls swoon but the product that came to him via the courier was not what he wanted. And, there was no time left to wait for the replacement.
‘I always knew V-Day to be the Victory Day,’ Shiva said.
‘Your ideas are all outdated,’ Kartika said and went to the garage to take out his motorcycle. His peacock followed him but Kartika shooed it away. He did not want any old-fashioned stuff around him when he embarked on his mission. He wanted to mingle with the mortals and get the feel of meeting girls. He wanted to exchange Valentine’s Day greetings. He had already procured gifts for them. These gifts were in his backpack.
Kartika was the symbol of today’s young generation.
Ganesh-ji was also watching the antics of his brother from a distance as was Lakshmi and their mother Durga.
Exception was Saraswati – she was away doing duty among the mortals. It was the day when school children and college going boys and girls join to celebrate her Pujas. It was an annual ritual and they do it to keep Saraswati happy. She was the Goddess of Learning and all the students worshipped her.
She loved this annual event – it was the meeting ground of innumerable landmark events related to boys and girls. It was the occasion when the girls wear the saree in public for the first time. It was the occasion when the shy girls gather up courage to smile at boys – and, tentative seeds of relationships are sown.
Some of these could, over a period of time, mature into more serious relationships – while others could remain as nothing but sweet memories. (to be continued ..)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Moody’s Ministry of Missing Indians (satire)

Moody was in consultation with his close associates Jet Lee, Nitty Gadcurry, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Pro Cash and Banka Nadoo. The subject was that of setting up a separate ministry to take care of missing Indians. ‘In my opinion, it should be a part and parcel of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs,’ Jet Lee said.
‘I know,’ Moody agreed. ‘That is what we have been doing till now. Sue Sharma has done a good job and we are proud of the fact.’
‘Yes,’ Banka Nadoo nodded. ‘But that girl she brought in has not yet been identified in spite of the media coverage.’ ‘That is her bad luck,’ Hash Budden said. ‘She is disabled, she cannot speak. Still we have tried.’
‘One family claimed that she was their long lost daughter but DNAs did not match,’ Moody was worried. ‘I do not want such things to happen again. I want positive results, not halfhearted attempts.’

It was at this moment that the door opened and Sue Sharma entered – the large bindi glowed bright on her forehead.
‘You sent for me?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ Moody looked up. ‘That girl you had brought in – has her family been traced?’
‘No – there are several families who have laid claims. My staff are trying their best to ensure that the poor girl gets back her rightful place in society.’
‘And, how many such cases do you have on hand?’ ‘Quite a few. People go to other countries in search of jobs and get lost. Then there are NRIs who come here, get married and vanish. And, people who are already working abroad and suddenly there is no trace of them. Rumors are there that they have been killed in terror activities. My ministry is overloaded with such cases.’
‘Obviously, you have a lot to do,’ Nitty Gadcurry commented.
‘That is why I called you,’ Moody said. ‘I was wondering whether we should have a separate ministry to attend to such cases.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Sue Sharma murmured. She was the Foreign Minister but, when the Boss grabs all opportunities of foreign travel, she has to be content with smaller countries nearer home.
‘We will call it the Ministry of Missing Indians,’ Moody said.
‘OK,’ Sue Sharma nodded. If she was made in-charge, she could get more chances to travel to follow up those cases.
‘I would like to make a point,’ Jet Lee cleared his throat.
‘Yes?’ Moody looked at him.
‘Modify it to ‘Missing Indians and Money,’ Jet Lee replied. ‘The new department could also pursue the cases of black money.’
‘Good idea,’ Moody agreed. ‘Both are important for us and will endear us to the masses. We must always have their interests uppermost in our mind.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Didi plans to punish her naughty boys (satire)

Didi was furious. She exhibited her fury and rage in open meetings – that was to impress her followers and for the benefit of the electronic media. She, like any other leader, knew that these media persons have to earn their living and they need to be pampered once in a while.
Like the time when she shared a packet of jhaal moori with a member of a different party. Jhaal-moori is a favorite fast food of Bengalis and the media went to town on it - she and her jhaal-moori companion enjoyed the episode. The media blew it out of proportion and it kept the rumor mongers busy dreaming up future scenarios.

But – this time Didi was really furious because of continuous infighting among her followers.
‘Why don’t you control your men?’ she asked Patro Chatto, her right hand man. ‘We had thrown out that Arrah Bull character and have brought him back. Then that Money Rule and Anu Mandel – they keep talking their mouths off. Why can’t you keep them in check?’
‘They are worried about their future,’ Moo Cool said in a soft voice. Actually, he had lost his voice totally but had managed to get it back – thanks to Didi’s kindness. He had realized which side of his bread was buttered by whom.
‘They know that their syndicate raaj is sitting on a bed of quicksand that can swallow them any moment,’ Omit Misra explained. ‘All of them want to eat the pie.’
‘That is fine,’Didi sad. ‘I understand – they also have to survive. But – they need not make a hue and cry over it. They can resolve their differences quietly. Anyway, I will punish those naughty boys.’
Moo Cool and Patro Chatto exchanged glances with Omit Misra. Didi had branded those ‘boys’ as naughty boys long ago but she cannot do without them. What punishment can she mete out?
‘I want it to be a public punishment,’ she said.
‘Public?’ Moo Cool was shocked.
‘Yes,’ Didi was calm. ‘Arrange for a public meeting. Let them be there on the stage.’
Once again Moo Cool, Patro Chatto and Omit Misra exchanged glances. They knew that Didi would do justice. But – she was unpredictable. What sort of punishment did she have in mind?
‘Yes,’ she was firm. ‘I will punish them in public. I will not talk to them. I will ignore them. They will realize that I am not happy. And – let the media take note of that. Dee Wreck must do that. By the way - where is he?’
‘He is preparing the write up for loading on the social media site,’ Moo Cool replied. (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Didi and her books in Book Fair (satire)

Lord Shiva waits for his patisapta (satire)


Brazil declares war on mosquitoes that carry the Zika virus

The FMCG world belongs to Baba Ramdev - worship noodles instead of yoga

Beggar of Mehsana with a heart of gold – gifts gold earrings to 10 poor girls


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Moody wants bows and arrows to eliminate Big Daddy (satire)

Moody was excited but, as is his rule, he maintained a straight face. It was the prediction of a learned astrologer that had sent him soaring to cloud nine. He had appeared in his sleep, that too in early morning with the message – ‘go after get Big Daddy, you are sure to get him’.
And, it is said that such early morning visions are always good omen.
‘You seem to be happy,’ his right hand man Jet Lee said. He had followed Moody into the chamber.
‘Have you ever seen me unhappy?’ Moody shot back.
‘With so much worries, no one is happy,’ Jet Lee philosophized.
‘I have always been an exception,’ Moody said. ‘I am setting new trends. I want tigers and cows to drink water from the same waterhole.’
‘I know,’ Jet Lee said. ‘With Big Brother retiring next year, how will you handle the super powers?’
‘Right now I want to handle another Big name,’ Moody said.
‘How big?’
‘Very big. He is Big Daddy who has unleashed terror in the world. None of the super powers have been able to rein him in.’

‘You mean the man who loves to behead people and get the process videoed?’
‘Yes. The super powers have launched airstrikes on his bases. They have sent drones to hunt him down. But he is sitting pretty. He has evaded every super power. I want him eliminated.’
‘That is a good idea,’ Jet Lee said.
‘What idea are you talking about?’ Sue Sharma asked as she entered.
‘The idea to eliminate Big Daddy,’ Jet Lee explained. ‘We will succeed where others have failed.’
‘Yes. We have shown our might to the world in the R-Day parade and we can do what others have failed to do.’
Pyari Kar and Vicky Singh joined the group. Moody had called them in. They were his defense experts.
‘Have you decided on which weapons you will use?'
‘We have our very own fighter aircraft and missiles.’
‘But – Big Daddy has fought off all those weapons. We must take him by surprise in his den. We must go in for unconventional weapons.’
‘You mean hypnotism?’
‘Well – that is an idea. But, I have an even better one.’
‘We could go in for the boomerang,’ Pyari Kar suggested. ‘Or – even develop a Sudarshan Chakra.’
‘We do not have that much time,’ Moody said. ‘I suggest a team of archers – armed with bows and arrows. Followed by teams of lathi (stick) wielding men. The lathi is a formidable weapon in trained hands, they can overpower any army.’
‘Right,’ Jet lee nodded. ‘Lord Rama used his bow and arrows to defeat the demon king Ravana – we can also do the same.’
‘Yes,’ Pyari Kar agreed. ‘Big Daddy is the Ravana of today.’
Moody heaved a sigh of relief and reached for the customary plates of dhokla and gathias. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Didi is allergic to anything red (satire)


Odisha offers windsurfing, snorkeling and other water sports on the Mahanadi River

Goat farming brings joy to people of Nag Tibba in Tehri

Foods that help to lower cholesterol levels and control heart disease


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Didi’s underwater restaurant to woo tourists (satire)

Bruto Bose was excited – the brand ambassador of the state had, at last, found some time to come down and shoot a few videos to highlight the tourism potentials of the state. Bruto knew that Didi would be happy at his results.
But, things did not work out as he had expected when he met her face to face. She was there in her office with Moo Cool, Abhi Shake, Patro Chatto and Omit Misra – they were her most trusted four pillars of support. Her team of Fantastic Four.
‘Where you have shot the videos?’ Didi asked Bruto.
‘The hills of Darjeeling, the beaches of Digha and the forests of the Sunderbans,’ Bruto explained.
‘That is why I keep getting annoyed at you,’ Didi was blunt. ‘You are a well-known actor yourself, why could you not influence another actor to do something different?’ she gave a sarcastic grin. It was her specialty.
‘I forgot, we shot a video in the millennium park on the banks of the Ganges,’ Bruto said.

‘You must have also enjoyed a 5-star lunch on the floating restaurant?’ again she passed another sarcastic comment. Bruto Bose shifted uneasily in his chair. He knew that it was a difficult task to ask tourists to come to the state. In fact, the locals were trying to move out because of lack of opportunities. This in spite of Bengalis loving their wide variety of foods, their abundance of festivals, and multitude of fairs be they of books or handicrafts.
‘Have you given some thought to my idea?’ Didi asked.
Bruto Bose blinked. Didi was always having ideas. Which idea was she talking about now?
‘Didi wants to know about the underwater restaurant,’ Moo Cool whispered. ‘Like the one that has come up recently in Ahmedabad.’
‘I have thought about it,’ Bruto cleared his throat and said. ‘I have discussed with the engineers. They will draw up plans of the restaurant. It has to withstand the pressure of water. And, we have to decide on the location.’
‘I have already said it must be in Outram Ghat,’ Didi said.
‘There should be more than one,’ Bruto said. ‘Outram Ghat is one location. I think we should decide on other locations. More such restaurants mean more tourists.’
The worst part is that Didi was aware of the pitfalls of attracting tourists but, she always put up a brave face and never surrenders. In order to improve air connectivity, she had inaugurated several air routes – but, passengers are not coming.
Her motto is ‘ekla chalo’ or ‘go it alone’.
She had successfully won over the people with her philosophy and hold the reins of the state. Is she gradually realizing that she had bitten off more than she could chew?
‘What are you waiting for?’ Didi asked. ‘Put your heads together and work out the modalities.’
‘Yes,’ Moo Cool agreed. ‘Let us do that. Let us woo tourists with our underwater restaurants.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Didi is allergic to anything red (satire)


Odisha offers windsurfing, snorkeling and other water sports on the Mahanadi River

Goat farming brings joy to people of Nag Tibba in Tehri

Foods that help to lower cholesterol levels and control heart disease


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks

Lord Ganesha and Kartika discuss the game of cricket (satire)

Lord Ganesha and his brother Kartika were having a heated argument over the game of cricket which is the rage on the day. There was the senior team, the under-19 team, the women’s team and, players kept getting in and out of the team while a selected few continued to remain in the side, come what may.
‘I insist that cricket is a game of fools,’ Kartika said. ‘Remember what a learned person had said about cricket?’ ‘What?’ Lord Ganesha asked.
‘He had said that cricket is a game of fools. One fool throws the ball, another fool hits the ball, eleven fools chase the ball and millions of fools watch the ball?’
Ganesha laughed.
‘That needs to be modified,’ he said.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You forgot to add another three more fools who keep track of the ball.’
‘I don’t understand.’

‘I mean the umpires – there are three of them to keep track of the ball. Two on-field, the third one isolated and sitting in an air-conditioned box with his eyes glued to the TV screen.’
It was at this time that Lord Shiva came into view. He had been in the gym doing the treadmill because Durga had warned him to reduce his weight because a Shiva with a paunch is not a pleasant sight.
He had Bhringi with him, he was carrying towels and Shiva was using it to wipe the perspiration from his body.
‘What are you boys fighting over now?’ he asked.
‘Cricket,’ Kartika said. ‘I said that it is a game of fools but my brother does not agree.’
‘I see,’ Shiva said and occupied a seat on another hillock. ‘In my opinion, cricket is a game of the intelligent.’
‘How come?’ Kartika objected.
‘Those who play the game are experts in geometry,’ Shiva explained.
‘Geometry?’ Kartika was aghast.
’Yes,’ Shiva grinned. ‘Unless you know your geometry, you just cannot guide the ball with the bat through open spaces to avoid the fielders and score runs.’
‘I don’t agree,’ Kartika said. ‘Many of the players have not even graduated, they have no idea of tangents and angles.’
‘That is the beauty of cricket,’ Shiva grinned. ‘With so much cricket being played, let us keep the debate open on whether cricket is a game of chance or needs deep knowledge of the sciences.’
‘Of course it is a game of chance,’ Ganesha gave his opinion. ‘The outcome on any game depends on the toss – and, that is chance.’
‘Unless the coin is doctored, like in Sholay’ Kartika added. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Didi is allergic to anything red (satire)


Odisha offers windsurfing, snorkeling and other water sports on the Mahanadi River

Goat farming brings joy to people of Nag Tibba in Tehri

Foods that help to lower cholesterol levels and control heart disease


“The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar” - Disney’s upcoming television movie

'Avatar 2', sequel to 'Avatar' of 2009 expected to release in December 2017

Aamir Khan no longer the face of Incredible India


Bomb attack kills 9 persons in Cairo near road leading to Egyptian pyramids

Woman with fake passport in a British Airways flight from Ibiza leads to panic

Tourists to Morocco told by Foreign Office to be vigilant about possible terror attacks