Thursday, December 31, 2015

Lord Shiva wants temples on the Moon and Mars (satire)


Lord Shiva came out of his cave in Mount Kailash and was surprised to see a festive mood all around. Nandi, his faithful bull was chewing the cud leisurely at the entrance to the cave while Bhringi, his trusted Man Friday was busy hanging up colored festoons.
‘What is the matter? Shiva asked no one in particular. He knew that Durga must be somewhere nearby and would brief him.
‘We will be celebrating,’ Durga came into view followed by her tame lion, swishing its tail. ‘What celebration?’ Shiva wanted to know.
‘New Year Day,’ Durga replied. ‘I have sent SMS to Menoka and Rambha. They are brushing up on the latest dance numbers and will be here with their troupes.’
‘I don’t recollect holding of any such celebrations in the past in Mount Kailash,’ Lord Shiva leaned on his trishul and mused.
‘Times are changing,’ Durga said. ‘Today, everyone wants an occasion to celebrate.’
‘That may be OK for the measly humans, but why should we copy their lifestyle? We belong to a different world!’
‘My dear husband, boundaries are crumbling,’ Durga said. ‘Sworn enemies suddenly drop by to meet over a birthday, shake hands and return home hoping to end hostilities.’
‘I heard earthlings want to leave this earth and go and settle on other planets.’
‘Yes – I have also heard about that,’ Durga said. ‘They want to settle on the Moon and on Mars. I wonder whether they will find other Durga and Shiva up there! If they do, then our days will be numbered’
‘I have an idea,’ Shiva whispered.
‘What?’
‘You know that Moody fellow? The one who is always on the move?’
‘What about him?’
‘I believe he is a dynamic go-getter,’ Shiva went on. ‘Get into his dream one of these days and tell him to send our statues to the Moon and to Mars in the next space ship that ISRO plans to send. That will be the solution.’
‘How?’
‘He and his people are obsessed with temples, right?’ Shiva grinned.
‘Yes.’
‘Well – let them be the first to build Shiva and Durga temples on other distant planets like the Moon and Mars before anybody can even think of building churches or gurdwaras or mosques.’
‘That’ll be a great idea,’ Durga agreed. ‘I’ll target Moody and all of his followers, especially that Rum Mudda character.’ (to be continued …)

Some more interesting links -

Moody on climate change – promote bullock carts and tonga (satire)

Baba Someday to use gobar gas and yoga for space flights (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Winterline carnival in Mussourie - enjoy hot air balloon rides

Mamata Banerjee visits Digha sea beach and outlines her plans

Elon Musk finally gets it right - SpaceX rocket lands back on Earth vertically


'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' takes the world by storm - set to break records

Batman Ben Affleck, the Dark Knight, speaks up

When Bollywood film stars fall in love with Kolkata


British Muslim family not allowed to travel to Disneyland from Gatwick airport

ISIS chooses jungles of Philippines as its training camp

Terror attacks in Paris makes the US issue global alert for its citizens

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Emma Melaney ready to dance, thanks to Moody (satire)


There was a gentle knock on the door and, opening it a fraction of an inch, a face peeped in to find the mighty Moody twirling a pencil as he looked at the papers on his table.
‘May I come in?’ the owner of the face asked.
Moody looked up, recognized Emma Melaney, the dancer, and nodded. Moody was a man of few words – it seems people in his position need to keep mum most of the time. It was a precedent set by the earlier incumbent and Moody had embraced it. It saved a lot of trouble.
Emma entered, gave Moody a huge smile and said – ‘Thank you.’
‘For what?’ Moody wanted to know.
‘For giving me the land to set up my dance school,’ Emma said and sat down in a chair opposite Moody. ‘I have been trying to get it for the last two decades and now my dream will come true.’
‘Oh,’ Moody said. ‘But – two decades back I was not in the picture. So – why thank me?’
‘You are so humble,’ Emma Melaney said. ‘I know you had given the go ahead for the idea. Unless you approve, even the leaves would not dare to move. You are so strong. People are afraid of your might and your 56-inch chest.’
‘Allotment of land is not a problem,’ Moody said. ‘There is a proposal to have another new Parliament building – I think you know about that?’
‘Yes – you are the harbinger of change,’ Emma praised Moody sky high. ‘World leaders hold you in high esteem. Because of you, tigers and cows drink from the same pond. You have become an expert in running with the hares and hunting with the foxes.’
Moody closed his eyes and wandered off to another world.
The year was coming to an end and, in spite of his monthly ‘monkey baat’ he still had plenty to say. He wanted to see Emma dance, he wanted to see the Bullet train run, he wanted to see a new Parliament House, he wanted to see a clean Ganga, he wanted to see spotlessly clean cities, he wanted to see pollution free atmosphere, he wanted to see corruption free society – his wish list was a long one.
Suddenly the hotline rang. It was from the Big Man himself.
‘Yes,’ Moody forgot Emma and half stood up from his chair.
‘Remember your tasks for 2016?’ Rum Mudda asked.
‘Yes – the temple,’ Moody said.
‘And?’
‘Reunification – create the undivided Bharat,’ Moody replied.(to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Some more interesting links -

Moody on climate change – promote bullock carts and tonga (satire)

Baba Someday to use gobar gas and yoga for space flights (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Winterline carnival in Mussourie - enjoy hot air balloon rides

Mamata Banerjee visits Digha sea beach and outlines her plans

Elon Musk finally gets it right - SpaceX rocket lands back on Earth vertically


'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' takes the world by storm - set to break records

Batman Ben Affleck, the Dark Knight, speaks up

When Bollywood film stars fall in love with Kolkata


British Muslim family not allowed to travel to Disneyland from Gatwick airport

ISIS chooses jungles of Philippines as its training camp

Terror attacks in Paris makes the US issue global alert for its citizens

Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)


Moody was in a good mood, he had set yet another trend in diplomacy. He has gifted his neighbor a turban on his birthday and has been hailed as a true statesman who does not believe in boundaries between neighbors.
‘Yes,’ Sue Sharma was all praises for her boss. ‘You have shown real courage in dropping by on our neighbor disregarding normal procedures.’
‘I have always wanted to take everyone by surprise. I want to do things in my way,’ Moody said.
‘I know,’ Jet Lee joined in – he had just entered. He was accompanied by Nitty Gadcurry, Pro Cash, Uma-ji and Baba Someday. ‘Formal meetings do not produce desired results. It is the age of short cuts.’
‘Tell me, do they have plans to link up to our Golden Quadrangle?’
‘That did not come up for discussions,’ Moody said. ‘We must not rush our fences. We have to proceed cautiously.’ ‘You must have broached the subject of Pat & Jolie?’
‘It was just a courtesy call,’ Moody reminded. ‘I had gone to wish him on his birthday. And – the turban I always carry with me came in handy. He was so happy.’
‘What was the sequence of events?’ Pro Cash wanted to know.
‘Actually when I was waiting for the flight to take off from Kabul, I checked the list of birthdays stored in my mobile,’ Moody explained. ‘That is when I came across his name. I wanted to send him an SMS but decided against it - SMS is so impersonal’
‘So?’ Jet Lee prompted.
‘I rang him up,’ Moody went on. ‘He was overjoyed. Poor fellow – he does not have any close friends to talk to.’
‘And?’ it was now Sue Sharma’s turn to prompt him.
‘The rest is history,’ Moody said. ‘He invited me over for lunch – just like a good neighbor. I checked and found that I had a turban with me. That would be fine as a gift.’
‘What else do you carry with you on your trips to give as gifts?’ Baba Someday asked.
‘That is my trade secret,’ Moody smiled – which was very seldom.
‘Tell me, how dirty are the rivers there?’ Uma-ji asked. ‘Would I get a chance to clean up their rivers? With my experience, I think I could do a good job.’
‘I don’t think it matters much,’ Moody said. ‘River cleaning was not on my agenda.’ (to be continued ..)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Some more interesting links -

Moody on climate change – promote bullock carts and tonga (satire)

Baba Someday to use gobar gas and yoga for space flights (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Winterline carnival in Mussourie - enjoy hot air balloon rides

Mamata Banerjee visits Digha sea beach and outlines her plans

Elon Musk finally gets it right - SpaceX rocket lands back on Earth vertically


'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' takes the world by storm - set to break records

Batman Ben Affleck, the Dark Knight, speaks up

When Bollywood film stars fall in love with Kolkata


British Muslim family not allowed to travel to Disneyland from Gatwick airport

ISIS chooses jungles of Philippines as its training camp

Terror attacks in Paris makes the US issue global alert for its citizens

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Didi is always painting pictures (satire)


There were serious looking faces all around. As the day progressed and crowds kept pouring in to join the meeting of the Red Brigade in the city from all corners, the leaders squirmed in their chairs. Tension was high.
‘What is the attendance like?’ Didi asked.
‘It was impressive,’ Moo Cool replied.
‘Did it cross 10-lakhs?’ Didi was fidgety.
‘Can’t say but the TV coverage showed a sea of heads,’ Moo Cool said. He also appeared to be worried. His condition was precarious.
‘It is all a drama,’ Abhi Shake assured Didi. ‘We know they cannot dislodge us from our perch. We will be here for another 5-years.’
‘What are our naughty boys and girls doing?’ Didi looked at Abhi Shake.

‘They are sharpening their weapons,’ Abhi said. ‘They have their work cut out. Thy will ensure that the Reds do not raise their heads.’
Another round of tea came along with hot pakoras. Didi never forgot to have a continuous supply of energy to keep her flock happy and intact. She was aware of poachers and she would hate to lose any of her men. She did have worries abut Moo Cool – and, that fear was still there. She had to be careful.
‘I heard that they brought up that old story of reviving the car factory?’
No one replied. All of then knew that it was their Achilles Heel – they had come to power with promises and, at the end of their term, they did not have anything to show off.
‘I think you must draw a few more pictures,’ Omit Misra opened his mouth. ‘Our financial position is not too good. We need money and, you must draw some more of your wonderful pictures. WE ca sell them off and get a few more hundreds of crores.’
‘I know,’ Didi sighed. ‘I am so tied up with inaugurations that I just do not get the time to sit with my paint brush.’ ‘Why don’t we declare that you are not well, that you need rest?’ Dee Wreck suggested. ‘That way you can get some rest and use that time to paint pictures.’
‘I am always painting pictures. Some sell for crores of rupees, others sell for crores of smiles,’ Didi smiled. ‘Only – the canvas keep changing.’ (to be continued…)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Some more interesting links -

Moody on climate change – promote bullock carts and tonga (satire)

Baba Someday to use gobar gas and yoga for space flights (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Winterline carnival in Mussourie - enjoy hot air balloon rides

Mamata Banerjee visits Digha sea beach and outlines her plans

Elon Musk finally gets it right - SpaceX rocket lands back on Earth vertically


'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' takes the world by storm - set to break records

Batman Ben Affleck, the Dark Knight, speaks up

When Bollywood film stars fall in love with Kolkata


British Muslim family not allowed to travel to Disneyland from Gatwick airport

ISIS chooses jungles of Philippines as its training camp

Terror attacks in Paris makes the US issue global alert for its citizens

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Moody’s inner circle and their ‘things to do’ list (satire)


Jet Lee - no relation to Dracula Christopher Lee or cricketer-cum-singer Brett Lee or martial artist Bruce Lee or all-rounder Sir Richard Hadlee – the most important ‘things to do’ for Jet Lee in 2016 is to look for recreation outlets other than bat, ball and wickets. The game if full of pitfalls from fixing to slanging and sledging and one has to be in a position to smile and bear things.
Baba Someday – he has made a name for himself in yoga and, with his Pat & Jolie outfit, had manufactured a huge range of foodstuffs to challenge players entrenched in the field. He should now look for alternate areas to explore. Like oil. This is because it is oil that drives everything in this world right from machinery to administration. Baba’s ‘things to do’ should be to explore possibilities of entering the world of oils.
Nitty Gadcurry – his ‘things to do’ list should be cycling. He should take the initiative to promote non-mechanized transport. That will reduce pollution and allow fresh air to circulate which, in turn, will eliminate a whole lot of diseases like cough and cold and breathing problems. Of course, he may go into the bad books of the doctors and manufacturers of cough syrups. But – it will endear him to the masses.
Sue Sharma – one of her ‘things to do’ is to try and fit into an ordinary sized chair. It is a known fact that when one continues to occupy a chair, he gradually tends to take the shape of the chair. That is not a healthy trend. Her smile is OK, her huge red sign on the forehead is also passe but not her out-of-shape physique.
Ranee-ji – she, unfortunately, yet another example of how to ruin one’s charms and personality. When one is a well-known TV actress, she has to maintain her figure – otherwise, the TV serial in which she is the main attraction loses its TRP rating. If worst comes to worse, she will be shown the door. But – once out of that vicious circle, one indulges in fulfilling all unfulfilled desires – and, begins to add the kilograms. For her, the ‘thing to do’ must include regular visits to the gym and working out on the treadmill.
Uma-ji – she has a tough task assigned by Moody. She has to clean up the holy river and transform it to one of beauty where steamers will transport people from one place to another. It is a thankless job because no matter how much she tries, water will continue to flow over head. If she was more skinny and glamorous, she would have made a better impression wherever she went. Her ‘thing to do’ list must, therefore, have a slot reserved for becoming fashion conscious.’ (to be continued ..)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Rice on rooftops – a masterplan (satire)

Didi to gift soaps and towels to kids (satire)

Saraswati and Lakshmi and their girlish talks (satire)


Juhi Chawla learns how to ride a scooty

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

Eagles Of Death Metal to perform at the Olympia Theatre on 16 February


No country liquor in Bihar from April - only Indian Made Foreign Liquor (IMFL)

Thieves make away with sandalwood trees from Santiniketan

76% of butterflies vanishing in Britain - a result of climate change


1,000 British troops and Special forces going to Libya to eliminate ISIS jihadists

United States faced with Syrian refugee influx - nearly 100,000 have entered since 2012

Scotland Yard launches biggest ever crackdown on guns in London

Friday, December 25, 2015

Moody to do stunts with animals (satire)


Moody was impressed with Putty's stunts with animals like flying with cranes and snuggling with a polar bear in the North Pole. Moody is keen to go one better – he wants to do stunts with at least four animals. His selection is peacock, cow, tiger and monkey – they are all dear to his heart.
This was a problem he had to solve – it had been bothering him while he was on the flight back home. Therefore, he called up Pro Cash, his environment minister and Sue Sharma, the foreign minister.
‘Do you think I can handle animals?’ he asked.
Pro Cash and Sue Sharma looked at each other unable to understand what Moody wanted.
‘What sort of animals?’ Pro Cash asked cautiously.
‘If someone can fly with cranes or play with polar bears, can I not do something similar?’
‘You can do better than that,’ Pro Cash said. ‘If the circus fellows can play with tigers and elephants, there is no reason why others cannot do that,’ Pro Cash said. ‘It will require some training and determination.’
‘Then let us get started,’ Moody said. ‘Find out a trainer.’
‘But - will you be able to devote any time? You have such tight schedules – will you be able to find time?’
‘I know,’ Moody agreed. ‘The foreign trips are fun but takes up too much time. And – I have to remember so many names and protocols.’
Sue Sharma now got a chance to speak. She was the foreign minister but Moody kept forgetting that and went everywhere himself.
‘Now that you have finished with the big countries, why don’t you let me handle some of the small ones?’ she asked. ‘I know you can handle them,’ Moody smiled at her. ‘But – I believe in doing things myself. Anyway, I now want to play with animals.’
‘Which ones should I take up,’ Pro Cash wanted to know.
‘I want animals that represent our country,’ Moody said.
‘Then we should begin with the cow,’ Pro Cash said. ‘What would you like to do with a cow?’
‘I will capture it,’ Moody said.
‘But it is not a wild animal,’ Pro Cash reminded.
‘I will capture it on my mobile – as a selfie,’ Moody said. ‘Then I want a monkey, a tame one that will cuddle up to me and sit on my lap. And – I want a peacock. That will dance as I play with the monkey. And – I want a tiger. Let it be seen in the background.’
‘No problem,’ Pro Cash grinned, ‘Your wish will be fulfilled.’
‘I want the photos and videos to be fed to the media properly – the world must know that we also can play with animals and birds.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Rice on rooftops – a masterplan (satire)

Didi to gift soaps and towels to kids (satire)

Saraswati and Lakshmi and their girlish talks (satire)


Juhi Chawla learns how to ride a scooty

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

Eagles Of Death Metal to perform at the Olympia Theatre on 16 February


No country liquor in Bihar from April - only Indian Made Foreign Liquor (IMFL)

Thieves make away with sandalwood trees from Santiniketan

76% of butterflies vanishing in Britain - a result of climate change


1,000 British troops and Special forces going to Libya to eliminate ISIS jihadists

United States faced with Syrian refugee influx - nearly 100,000 have entered since 2012

Scotland Yard launches biggest ever crackdown on guns in London

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Lord Shiva tries to buy tiger skins online (satire)


Till now, Lord Shiva used to have an ordinary cellphone to contact others in Heaven but, his daughter Saraswati had gifted him a new handset – it was bigger in size and it had a whole lot of buttons. He had difficulty in remembering which button was meant for which purpose. He was fiddling with the buttons when he accidentally clicked on one of the online marketing sites.
He wanted tiger skins very badly. Nowadays, there is a ban on killing tigers and he was stuck with skins that were several decades old - he was isolated from the latest fashion trends.
Durga was watching him from the corner of her eyes and enjoying herself.
Lord Shiva was confused by seeing so many thumbnails that depicted dresses, footwear, accessories, jewelry, cosmetics.
‘Click on what you want to buy,’ Durga said.
‘You mean you just click and buy?’ Shiva asked.
‘Yes – of course, before buying you must check if it is suitable for you.’
‘How can I do that unless there is a salesman or salesgirl?’
‘The mobile is your shop-cum-salesman. Click on the item you want to buy. Suppose it is a shirt. Once you click on it, it will ask you for your size, choice of color. Then it will display its variety along with cost. Select which one you want, put it in the shopping cart, pay the amount by credit card and it will be delivered at your doorstep. By drone if you want it urgently.’
‘Seems very simple,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘But don’t I get to touch and feel what I am buying?’
‘You don’t need to,’ Durga said. ‘The brands are famous and they don’t cheat. They deal in millions – they will not stoop so low as to cheat you out of a few thousands.’
Shiva did not bother to reply. He searched for tiger skins. And – he got tiger balm, posters of ‘save the tiger’, and books on Tiger Pataudi, Tiger Memon, Tiger Hill but no tiger skin.
He looked towards Durga – she was trying to get tickets online for the latest blockbuster.
‘I am not able to get tiger skin,’ he said.
‘Dear Lord, it is time for change. You must go for something else that will look like tiger skin but will not actually be tiger skin.’
‘Go in for a plain dress and get it colored to look like the original,’ she said.
‘But that is not ethical, that is cheating,’ Shiva was shocked.
‘My dear husband,’ Durga smiled. ‘That is what is happening all around us. Either join the stream or be left out.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Rice on rooftops – a masterplan (satire)

Didi to gift soaps and towels to kids (satire)

Saraswati and Lakshmi and their girlish talks (satire)


Juhi Chawla learns how to ride a scooty

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

Eagles Of Death Metal to perform at the Olympia Theatre on 16 February


No country liquor in Bihar from April - only Indian Made Foreign Liquor (IMFL)

Thieves make away with sandalwood trees from Santiniketan

76% of butterflies vanishing in Britain - a result of climate change


1,000 British troops and Special forces going to Libya to eliminate ISIS jihadists

United States faced with Syrian refugee influx - nearly 100,000 have entered since 2012

Scotland Yard launches biggest ever crackdown on guns in London

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Moody wants a selfie museum (satire)


Moody was closeted with his PR minister Jet Lee – he was actually his Finance Minister but doubled up as I&B Minister as well. He was Moody’s troubleshooter and has been doing a creditable job till now. Moody was pleased with him.
Moody had several winners in his team who were women and he held them in high regard. Apart from Sue Sharma who handled foreign affairs, there was Uma-ji, who was an expert of the River Ganga, and there was Ranee-ji who looked after education.
‘I want to have a museum,’ Moody said.
‘What sort of?’ Jet Lee enquired.
‘To display selfies,’ Moody said. ‘Selfie is the latest fad and everyone has become addicted to it. It is an indicator of our progress.’
‘I know,’ Jet Lee smiled. ‘My kids are mad. They keep taking selfies and out of 100, they will select a couple and post them on Facebook.’
Moody gulped. It was so unfortunate that he was born so late in the day.
In the days when he had been a humble tea shop owner or the days when he would go about in half pants, no one had conceived the idea of selfies. If they had, Moody would certainly have had many more in his collection. They would have been assets for his selfie museum and made it a global attraction and ‘must see’ spot in travel itineraries. Who knows – his selfie museum could even earn heritage status one of these days.
‘Tell me,’ he asked Jet Lee. ‘Who invented selfies on cellphone? Who clicked the first selfie on a mobile phone?’ ‘I will put our research team on the job,’ Jet Lee assured. ‘I will ask them to contact Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and Sundar Pichai. One of them must know.’
‘Please assign priority to this,’ Moody said. ‘Once you have identified him, get me his date of birth.’
‘You want to send him greetings?’
‘That will come later – once I know the date, I will pursue the matter with the United Nations to go in for a ‘Selfie Day’ – it should be the date of birth of the individual.’
Jet Lee grinned.
‘That will be just great,’ he said. ‘I am confident that the UN would listen to your proposal - as they did for Yoga Day,’
‘Yes - yoga had been there for centuries but no one bothered to assign it a proper place among the masses,’ Moody said. ‘Our yoga guru could have done it but he was busy making noodles and biscuits.’
Moody sat back in his throne – another plus point for him. No leader in the world would ever think on having a selfie museum. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Rice on rooftops – a masterplan (satire)

Didi to gift soaps and towels to kids (satire)

Saraswati and Lakshmi and their girlish talks (satire)


Juhi Chawla learns how to ride a scooty

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

Eagles Of Death Metal to perform at the Olympia Theatre on 16 February


No country liquor in Bihar from April - only Indian Made Foreign Liquor (IMFL)

Thieves make away with sandalwood trees from Santiniketan

76% of butterflies vanishing in Britain - a result of climate change


1,000 British troops and Special forces going to Libya to eliminate ISIS jihadists

United States faced with Syrian refugee influx - nearly 100,000 have entered since 2012

Scotland Yard launches biggest ever crackdown on guns in London

Monday, December 21, 2015

Moody and his travel plans for 2016 (satire)


Moody was staring thoughtfully at the globe in his chamber. The number of tick marks was insignificant when compared to the number of countries in the world. He wondered what travel plans his people had drawn up for him for the New Year.
Suddenly the door opened a fraction and Sue Sharma peeped in. She was the minister who looked after Foreign affairs. ‘Can I come in?’ she asked in her sweet voice.
‘Please do,’ Moody waved her in.
‘What are my plans for 2016?’ Moody asked. He still stood in front of the globe – critics have given him the name of ‘globetrotter’ and he did not mind. Travel helps to understand the people and provides umpteen plus one opportunities to click selfies.
He could soon get a name in the Guinness Records for being the most selfied leader in the World. That would be yet another feather in his cap that was getting too crowded with feathers.
‘Well,’ Sue Sharma cleared her throat. ‘My office is already on the job. They are identifying countries that you have not yet gone to.’
‘Good – New Year is just a few days away,’ Moody reminded.
‘No need to worry, once the countries are finalized I’ll bring the file to you for your selection,’ Sue Sharma assured. ‘And remember - their historical and cultural links with India, however remote, must be established,’ Moody said.
Sue Sharma knew the routine. That is the exercise that the backroom boys are always toiling for. Hunting for Indian connections is a massive task and they have to first locate an as-yet unvisited country, then hunt down its history, understand its culture, get to now its geography, eating habits and, most importantly, what makes it tick.
Those are the weapons that Moody has been using in his conquests and will continue to use to woo over and conquer the new countries.
His PR boys know just what elixirs to give in what doses and are experts in creating visions of Utopia to keep everyone in a good mood. Spread happiness is their message. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Rice on rooftops – a masterplan (satire)

Didi to gift soaps and towels to kids (satire)

Saraswati and Lakshmi and their girlish talks (satire)


Juhi Chawla learns how to ride a scooty

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

Eagles Of Death Metal to perform at the Olympia Theatre on 16 February


No country liquor in Bihar from April - only Indian Made Foreign Liquor (IMFL)

Thieves make away with sandalwood trees from Santiniketan

76% of butterflies vanishing in Britain - a result of climate change


1,000 British troops and Special forces going to Libya to eliminate ISIS jihadists

United States faced with Syrian refugee influx - nearly 100,000 have entered since 2012

Scotland Yard launches biggest ever crackdown on guns in London

Bengal’s solution to tackle air pollution (satire)


#airpollution The airport of Kolkata had to be shut down for eight hours because of fog – fog is not unnatural during winter. It slows down traffic on the roads, trains get delayed and there are accidents due to poor visibility. But, the problem is that such a condition has been blamed on air pollution. And – that is what has kept Didi awake night after night. She wanted to rid the menace of air pollution once and for all and, suddenly, an idea came to her early in the morning.
‘Abhi,’ she rang up Abhi Shake, ‘I want you in my office immediately. With all the others – this is a serious matter.’
Abhi Shake hated to leave the warmth of the blanket but, Didi’s order is an order. Therefore, he contacted Moo Cool, Patro Chatto, Omit Misra, and Dee Wreck and arrived on the trot. Didi does not like to be kept waiting.
Of course they knew that there would be gallons of hot tea and heaps of delicious jilebis and kachuris to help ease tensions. Didi never forgot these little things to keep her flock intact – the local tea and snack shop was also happy to be of service to Didi.
‘How many bullock carts do we have?’ she asked nobody in particular.
‘Why?’ Moo Cool asked.
‘I have a solution to tackle pollution,’ she smiled. ‘Delhi is going for odd-even formula. I want to go for a more down to earth formula. I want to ban all petrol and diesel run vehicles from our roads. They are the main culprits.’
‘I see,’ Moo Cool said.
‘So – how many bullock carts do we have in our state?’
‘We have not taken stock – but, on a rough estimate, there could be ten thousand.’
‘OK – I want ten times that,’ Didi said. ‘They must be equipped with cushioned seats and must have stocks of newspapers and magazines. There must also be steps for people to board and alight. The wheels must be rubber protected.’
‘Good idea,’ Omit Misra agreed. ‘Normally people waste time while going to office and while returning due to traffic jams. With bullock carts, there will not be any traffic jam and, of course, the travel time could increase.’
‘They must pay that much price to breathe fresh and unpolluted air,’ Didi said. ‘Omit-babu – contact the industrialists and ask them to go ahead with bullock carts. These factories will not need too much land and our land banks will be sufficient. Moreover, it will generate direct and indirect employment. And – those veterinary doctors and blacksmiths would get job opportunities.’
‘Didi,’ Dee Wreck grinned. ‘You are a genius. Your solution to pollution is a fantastic one. You only can deliver the goods. I will post it on Facebook.’ (to be continued ..)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Rice on rooftops – a masterplan (satire)

Didi to gift soaps and towels to kids (satire)

Saraswati and Lakshmi and their girlish talks (satire)


Juhi Chawla learns how to ride a scooty

All female pop-group Moranbong Band cancels China goodwill tour

Eagles Of Death Metal to perform at the Olympia Theatre on 16 February


No country liquor in Bihar from April - only Indian Made Foreign Liquor (IMFL)

Thieves make away with sandalwood trees from Santiniketan

76% of butterflies vanishing in Britain - a result of climate change


1,000 British troops and Special forces going to Libya to eliminate ISIS jihadists

United States faced with Syrian refugee influx - nearly 100,000 have entered since 2012

Scotland Yard launches biggest ever crackdown on guns in London

Friday, December 18, 2015

Lord Shiva’s solution for global warming – go under water (satire)


Lord Shiva was feeling uneasy – it was supposed to be winter but in a city like Kolkata, there was hardly anyone wearing pullovers. Instead of room heaters, people had switched on air conditioners. Instead of hot tea and coffee, ice creams and cold drinks were vanishing from the shops. And – Lord Shiva did not like the signs.
‘I hear the footsteps of proloy in the distance,’ he said.
‘I know,’ Durga agreed. ‘I am equally disturbed. I have woven pullovers for Lakshmi and Saraswati, but they are roaming about and do not even wear even the old sweaters or wrap the shawls to ward off the cold.’
‘Where has the cold vanished?’ Shiva asked. ‘Have you seen the bears? They are restless - this is the time for them to go into hibernation and they just do not know what to do.’
‘It is called global warming,’ Durga explained.
‘I know,’ Shiva was irritated. ‘I can feel the heat. I can see people losing their tempers because of the heat. Winter is the season for different fairs, for picnics. But, I don’t see any enthusiasm.’
‘It is all due to loss of trees. Population is increasing and they have got to live. They need houses and houses need land. So – cut down the trees and build high rise buildings.’
Lord Shiva was puzzled.
‘Why do they need on land?’ he asked.
‘Have you had an overdose of your ganja?’ Durga appeared to be annoyed.
Shiva smiled – he is never angry, he does not bear any grudge against anybody.
‘My dear wife,’ he looked at Durga. ‘Why don’t they go underwater?’
‘Underwater?’ Durga looked puzzled. ‘Do you mean underground?’
‘No – I mean underwater,’ Shiva said and grinned. ‘They are sending rockets to the Moon and Mars and plan to have human settlements there. Right?’
‘Yes – they do have such ideas.’
‘Well – why do they not explore possibilities of human settlements under the oceans?’ Durga nodded her had. Yes – that could be another solution to the global crisis. She would have to get her message across. She will pass it on to Moody via a dream. He will surely action on it. He has contacts in all the right places. Only the other day, he got a call from Big Brother – he will not let Moody down, he will certainly rise to the occasion. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody and the mystery of Didi in Delhi (satire)

Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Be careful of six things that can reduce your lifespan

Monkey business in Uttarakhand - Uttar Pradesh dumping its monkeys in Uttarakhand

Japan to give India her first Bullet Train from Mumbai to Ahmedabad


Quentin Tarantino wants to do 'Kill Bill 3'

Bangladeshi singer Runa Laila to perform in Kolkata to mark Vijay Diwas

Shah Rukh Khan to address alumni of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore


Two men of Syrian origin caught in Geneva with explosives

President Obama cautions Americans on new type of terror threat

USS Zumwalt, largest destroyer ever built, sets out for sea trials

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Rice on rooftops – a masterplan (satire)


Bengal is known for its intellectuals, its coffee house culture, its Ilish, its corner tea-shops, its power of speech, its ability to cope with innumerable road blocks and traffic jams – and, the wonderful ability of Bengalis to tolerate nonsenses.
Therefore, when Didi brought up the subject of growing paddy on rooftops, her disciples looked at one another. It was a Sunday and they were all there, closeted in her hut. The empty tea cups strewn about on the center table was proof that they had been there for quite a while.
‘Paddy on the roof?’ Abhi Shake tried to suppress a grin.
‘Well – many people grow tomatoes and chili on balconies,’ Patro Chatto said. ‘So – paddy on rooftops may not be impossible.’
‘Nothing is impossible,’ Moo Cool added. ‘Where there is will, there is a way.’
‘What about the cost effectiveness’ Omit Misra the economist was serious. He was having a hard time trying to balance the scales. When expenses go beyond earnings, anyone dealing in money matters will age before time.
‘I have seen photos of people who have planted mango trees on the roof,’ Show Van added.
‘Yes,’ Dee Wreck joined in. ‘I had seen it on TV – some place near Nagpur.’
‘Have you all finished your side talks?’ Didi asked.
There was pin drop silence – when she opens her mouth, others have to play dumb and follow the golden rule of ‘speak when you are spleen to’.
‘When I look at the skyscrapers in the city, I feel sad,’ she said. ‘The roofs are not fully exploited. They remain barren with only TV antennas and hoardings of ads. No one goes there to fly kites. I want to change all that, I want them to grow their own paddy.’
‘But – all of them do not eat rice,’ Show Van said.
‘Let them grow both rice and wheat,’ she gave the solution.
‘You mean the people who live in those high rise buildings will agree? They know nothing about farming,’ Show Van said.
‘Why should they know farming?’ Didi asked. ‘Regular farmers will do that. I will ferry them to the spots every morning and bring them back. I’ll use choppers. And – I’ll announce that skyscrapers who agree will get tax rebate.’
Poor Omit Misra sighed – more headaches for him.
‘Then we must draw up plans to first transport soil on to the rooftops,’ Mo Cool, the practical man said. ‘For that we will need huge helicopters.’
‘I will borrow them from the air force fellows. Their machines are idling and they will not mind. Moreover, I’ll ensure employment for the farmers.’
‘Don’t worry Didi, you will succeed,’ Dee Wreck grinned. ‘I’ll prepare my write-up for the Facebook – ‘Rice on Rooftops – a masterplan.’ It just cannot fail.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody and the mystery of Didi in Delhi (satire)

Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Be careful of six things that can reduce your lifespan

Monkey business in Uttarakhand - Uttar Pradesh dumping its monkeys in Uttarakhand

Japan to give India her first Bullet Train from Mumbai to Ahmedabad


Quentin Tarantino wants to do 'Kill Bill 3'

Bangladeshi singer Runa Laila to perform in Kolkata to mark Vijay Diwas

Shah Rukh Khan to address alumni of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore


Two men of Syrian origin caught in Geneva with explosives

President Obama cautions Americans on new type of terror threat

USS Zumwalt, largest destroyer ever built, sets out for sea trials

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Didi to gift soaps and towels to kids (satire)


Didi, like Moody, was always on the move and, while she travels within the country, Moody loves and prefers foreign locales. Of course, Didi did go abroad and was impressed by the sights and sounds of Singapore and London – but, that is history. Her vision is now on 2016.
‘Get me Patro Chatto,’ she ordered her PA.
And, within no time, the great Patro Chatto came up as if he was waiting in the wings.
‘Have you arranged my next tour?’ she asked.
‘Yes – this time it is the turn of the north,’ Patro said.
‘What is the plan?’ Didi asked. ‘How many of what?’
‘On last count, it was 40 each of inauguration and stone laying.’
‘That means a total of 80 – why don’t you make it a full 100?’
Patro blinked. Didi was to leave within a couple of days and it would be extremely difficult to arrange another 20 at such short notice. He knew she would not accept a ‘no’ for an answer and he would have to add another 20 to the list.
Didi loves to inaugurate projects wherever she goes, either inaugurate earlier projects or lay foundation stones of new ones. The projects she inaugurates would have been set in motion by her predecessors and include bridges, roads, hospitals etcetera.
The laying of foundation stones of new projects will be indicators of her ardent desire to see the betterment of her people. Here also the same categories get featured. If they get complete during her tenure, she can take credit – but such a situation very seldom happens.
In politics, he who initiates hardly ever get to reap the benefits. He does the hard work, someone else gets the credit.
Suddenly Didi broke into Patro’s thoughts.
‘And – what will I gift will I take with me for the kids in these areas?’
‘We have got ready bicycles,’ Patro replied.
‘Oh Patro, I want to do something new. Bicycles and laptops are outdated. Everyone gifts those. Let us be original.’ Patro kept quiet. He knew Didi had already decided on what to gift.
‘This time I want to gift the children soaps and towels,’ she said. ‘I want to spread the message of a Swatchh Bharat, a clean India. Our next generation should know that cleanliness is next to godliness.’
Patro gulped again. He would have to cancel order of bicycles and order soaps and towels instead. He realized that Didi wanted to impress Moody, hence her swatchh abhiyan. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody and the mystery of Didi in Delhi (satire)

Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Be careful of six things that can reduce your lifespan

Monkey business in Uttarakhand - Uttar Pradesh dumping its monkeys in Uttarakhand

Japan to give India her first Bullet Train from Mumbai to Ahmedabad


Quentin Tarantino wants to do 'Kill Bill 3'

Bangladeshi singer Runa Laila to perform in Kolkata to mark Vijay Diwas

Shah Rukh Khan to address alumni of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore


Two men of Syrian origin caught in Geneva with explosives

President Obama cautions Americans on new type of terror threat

USS Zumwalt, largest destroyer ever built, sets out for sea trials

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Didi’s palanquin tourism to woo foreign tourists (satire)


#palanquin Didi knew that tourism attracts money and, even though there are any number of tourist attractions around her that tourists would love to visit, they just do not come. And – that bothered her. So, she summoned Abhi Shake, Mo Cool, Patro Chatto, Omit Misra, Dee Wreck and a few others to discuss this all-important subject.
‘Abhi Shake – I want an action plan on promoting tourism in our state,’ she said. ‘We must think out of the box.’
‘There are spots in the hills, on the beaches, in the forests,’ Abhi said. ‘They are popular but are not attracting foreign tourists, only locals.’
‘I know,’ Didi said. ‘That is what I want to change. Give me ideas.’
‘Actually, our roads are so bad that foreigners hesitate to embark on journeys,’ Omit Misra mumbled. ‘They are used to comfort.’
‘Let us give it to them,’ Didi said. ‘Let us build necessary infrastructure.’
‘But – that takes time,’ Omit commented.
‘Don’t tell me,’ Didi was not happy with his reply. ‘You suffer from a defeatist mentality. Nothing is impossible.’ Her lieutenants looked at each other, confused.
‘Let us bring back the palanquin,’ she said. ‘It was so useful in those good old days when there were no roads. Only, let us make them more comfortable. Let them be air-conditioned with inbuilt TV. Let there be windows for the foreigners to watch the surrounding scenery.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Moo Cool opened his mouth. ‘We can make it a double whammy.’
‘How?’ Abhi Shake asked.
‘We can make the palanquins locally,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘That will be a part of our industry friendly activities. Making palanquins do not need hundreds of acres and we can set up factories in the land banks we hold.’
‘Exactly,’ Didi grinned, which was seldom. ‘I knew Moo Cool would come up with a good idea.’
Abhi Shake was a bit unhappy to see Didi praise Moo Cool sky-high.
‘And, of course, we can generate plenty of employment,’ he said. ‘We will have to recruit the palanquin bearers. They must be not only be sturdy but also experienced in long distance running and marathons.’
‘Yes,’ Didi said. ‘Someone can set up training institutes to teach them English and a few foreign languages like Japanese so that they can interact with the tourists.’
‘I’ll have to check out which industrialist will invest in this venture,’ Omit Misra said.
‘Why don’t you talk to Gourav Danguli about this?’ Didi suggested. ‘He can have a session on palanquins and how they have developed.’
‘Yes – that’s an idea,’ Omit Said.
Dee Wreck polished his glasses and grinned.
‘Didi, you are a genius,’ he was elated. ‘I’ll post a write-up on Facebook about this revolutionary concept. Your palanquin tourism will take the world by storm.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody and the mystery of Didi in Delhi (satire)

Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Be careful of six things that can reduce your lifespan

Monkey business in Uttarakhand - Uttar Pradesh dumping its monkeys in Uttarakhand

Japan to give India her first Bullet Train from Mumbai to Ahmedabad


Quentin Tarantino wants to do 'Kill Bill 3'

Bangladeshi singer Runa Laila to perform in Kolkata to mark Vijay Diwas

Shah Rukh Khan to address alumni of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore


Two men of Syrian origin caught in Geneva with explosives

President Obama cautions Americans on new type of terror threat

USS Zumwalt, largest destroyer ever built, sets out for sea trials

Monday, December 14, 2015

Didi discusses industries with Moo Cool and Omit Misra (satire)


Critics may talk ill of her but Didi knows that she is unstoppable – she has swept aside all opposition and over the last four years, she has woven a web of magic. She has promised her people the Moon and believes that it is within her grasp.
She was closeted in her humble house with a few of her trusted lieutenants like Dee Wreck, Omit Misra, Show Van, Fear Had, and Moo Cool and was trying to evolve new strategies for the future.
‘We must ensure that we project our positives in the industrial sector,’ she said.
‘Agreed,’ Omit Mitra wiped his glasses. ‘We have held several get-togethers with industrialists. They were happy with our arrangements. Especially the sweet dishes – they loved the tastes.’
‘What sort of business potential can we expect?’ Didi asked.
‘Well – it could run into crores,’ Omit Misra replied. ‘But – there could be a hitch.’
‘What sort of?’
‘It is the health aspect,’ Omit said. ‘The days of people gorging on dozens of rasogollas have gone with the wind – winds of change.’
‘I see,’ Didi was serious. ‘What about the pickle industry?’
‘That is OK – but the competition is stiff,’ Omit admitted. ‘Pickles from North India have already captured a major portion of the market.’
‘Then our cottage industries like mat making and hand fans.’
‘Today those are out of fashion, it is now the age of carpets and air conditioners.’
Didi now looked at the others.
‘We must promote our industries,’ Didi was serious. ‘We already have Gourav Danguli working on it through TV – let us organize some more industry fairs.’
Her lieutenants looked at each other – they dared not speak up in front of Didi. They knew that the trips to Singapore and London did not prove to be up to expectations. Neither did the local exhibitions and fairs.
‘Don’t you have any new ideas?’ Didi prodded them.
‘I am writing a book on how to play the game of politics,’ Moo Cool said. ‘If Dee Wreck can market it properly, it would rake in crores of rupees like paintings.’
‘What all have you revealed?’ Didi was curious.
‘It is all about how to keep everyone guessing,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘It is full of tension, emotion, intrigue, and suspense – there are thrills galore and the ending is a surprise.’
‘And – what is the name of your book?’
‘‘Double G – the Guessing Game’,’ Moo Cool gave his patent smile. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody and the mystery of Didi in Delhi (satire)

Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Be careful of six things that can reduce your lifespan

Monkey business in Uttarakhand - Uttar Pradesh dumping its monkeys in Uttarakhand

Japan to give India her first Bullet Train from Mumbai to Ahmedabad


Quentin Tarantino wants to do 'Kill Bill 3'

Bangladeshi singer Runa Laila to perform in Kolkata to mark Vijay Diwas

Shah Rukh Khan to address alumni of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore


Two men of Syrian origin caught in Geneva with explosives

President Obama cautions Americans on new type of terror threat

USS Zumwalt, largest destroyer ever built, sets out for sea trials

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Moody is surrounded by too many Ms (satire)


Moody loved Ms only when they meant mangoes but, when the syllable referred to individuals, he was apprehensive. In the East, there is this firebrand woman leader known as ‘Didi’ – her name began with M and she was a staunch believer in the philosophy of simple living and high thinking. The Hawaii chappal was her identity. This was so like Moody himself.
Madam M loved to wear her special brand of saree, it was unmistakably unique. She, like Moody himself, came from a simple background and, had emerged in the political scene to take the world by storm.
Once again, this was so very much like Moody – both of them had emerged victorious riding on the waves of change. However, while Moody had a whole team of experts working in the background to boost his image, Madam M hated to share the dais with anyone else. She wanted to set an example of daredevilry and take full credit for her achievements. Moody longed to cozy up to her because she had, at one time in the past, been in the good books of Moody’s predecessors.
But, she was playing hard to get. Even at election time, both of them had criticized the other to get noticed. They knew that it was a game and were contented with the results.
In order to win her over, Moody had asked one of his ministers to go to her state and praise her achievements sky high. The minister he chose was another firebrand leader and she played her part to perfection. She was Uma-ji and, she went on a trip down the Ganges and was impressed with the journey on a steamer.
But, Madam M appeared not to have noticed or heard her.
And she had a crony whose name had not just a single M but a pair of them. And, this gentleman kept falling sick at odd times of the day and night. The demon of Sharada kept haunting him – it was the name of a chit fund that had taken the lives of many and the hard earned savings of thousands.
Double M had been put in prison for his own safety because there were many who were baying for his blood. He did spend a major part of the past year there. But, it was a prison with a difference. It was not where ordinary criminals are usually lodged. He was no ordinary criminal and, hence, was accommodated in a special ward in hospital that had been specially equipped for him with all the luxuries so that he never felt the absence of a homely atmosphere.
Yet another M is the latest from the land of Didi – this M pretended to have fallen out with Didi but, as has now been revealed, he is back in favor. Obviously, it’s all part of a game called ‘Politics’ where there is no friend or foe. Today’s demon may become tomorrow’s most loved. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody and the mystery of Didi in Delhi (satire)

Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Be careful of six things that can reduce your lifespan

Monkey business in Uttarakhand - Uttar Pradesh dumping its monkeys in Uttarakhand

Japan to give India her first Bullet Train from Mumbai to Ahmedabad


Quentin Tarantino wants to do 'Kill Bill 3'

Bangladeshi singer Runa Laila to perform in Kolkata to mark Vijay Diwas

Shah Rukh Khan to address alumni of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore


Two men of Syrian origin caught in Geneva with explosives

President Obama cautions Americans on new type of terror threat

USS Zumwalt, largest destroyer ever built, sets out for sea trials

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Momo and sushi gear up to dislodge jilebi and pedhas (satire)


Lord Shiva was pacing up and down his cave in Kailash – he was watching an Indian city gradually turning Japanese and he did not want the identity to be lost.
Devi Durga was keeping an eye on him from a distance – she knew the signs. When he was disturbed, the Lord would go into the mute mood and she just could not tolerate him when he became silent.
‘What is biting you?’ she finally asked.
‘Have you not seem today’s TV news?’ he shot back.
‘There is nothing new,’ she replied. ‘The news was about snowfall in Kashmir, in Nainital, in Amarnath ..’
‘That is not news,’ Shiva grunted. ‘When it is winter and the temperature drops, snow fall is normal. I am talking about Japan.’
Durga was taken aback.
‘I must have missed it,’ she apologized. ‘I was in the kitchen trying out a new dish. It’s all about leaves and how to cook a khichdi of leaves. The celebrity cook used at least ten different varieties of leaves – and, she served it up on a banana leaf!’
‘Please don’t test my temper,’ Shiva growled. ‘I am talking about one of our cities turning into Japan. There is a huge program and soon we will have Japan right here in our country.’
Durga smiled.
‘Oh, you mean the bullet train?’ she asked.
‘No - I mean bye-bye to drains,’ Shiva said. ‘Once the city transforms into a mini Japan, what will happen to all those sadhus who earn their daily bread by sitting on the banks of the Ganga? And – all those bulls on the roads? And – the beggars? They are not seen in Japan.’
‘They will certainly be rehabilitated,’ Durga assured.
‘OK – and all those mithailwallahs? Will they shift to selling momos and sushis?’
‘Well – they are good to eat. The people will love the change from century-old jilebis and pedhas. Actually – they are bad for health. Too much of sweets leads to diabetes and obesity.’
‘My dear, you seem to have an answer for everything.’
Durga smiled.
‘Let me tell you a secret.’
‘What?’
‘An MOU has been signed to set up an academy in this city – it will teach how to make the mouth-watering momo and shushi.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody on climate change – promote bullock carts and tonga (satire)

Moody shelves black money, goes for gold (satire)

Moody wants dhokla to be the National dish (satire)


Amy Poehler set to receive Hollywood Walk Of Fame star

Malaika Arora Khan wants to open a restaurant

Nicole Kidman all praises for Bollywood


Laldighi in Kolkata to lose its trams and make way for East-West Metro

Radiation from Fukushima nuclear reactor in Japan has spread to the United States

Electric cars to combat greenhouse effect


RAF jets pound ISIS oil field in Syria

Britain bares its fangs - RAF Tornados bomb ISIS oilfields

United States sending 200 troops to help Iraqi and Kurdish forces take on ISIS

Friday, December 11, 2015

Saraswati and Lakshmi and their girlish talks (satire)


Lord Shiva and Devi Durga lived in their abode in Mount Kailash in the Himalayas with their children. They ventured out of their place very seldom. But – the world around them was changing very fast and being the world of consumerism, they were bombarded by ads on TV abut thousands of products. It was difficult to make a choice.
That is what the sisters were discussing.
‘I still think that the cream in that beautiful yellow bottle is the best,’ Sarasawti said. ‘I have seen one of the Bollywood actresses use it – she has such lovely curly hair and applies that cream.’
‘No,’ Lakshmi said. ‘Just because you are fond of yellow color does not mean that everything yellow is the best.’
‘Don’t argue,’ Saraswati glared at her sister. ‘Let me finish my music practice. I am trying to pick up that latest craze of a song from that Mastani movie.’
‘Go ahead. And – let me worry about my face cream,’ Lakshmi said. ‘But – tell me one thing. You are the goddess of learning and must know the answer.’
‘Shoot,’ Saraswati grinned. ‘If I don’t know, I can always google the answer, thanks to the internet. Google is such a help.’
‘The question my dear sis is – why do men go in for fairness creams to make their skin glow and look fair. How can they remain fair looking throughout the day when their beard keeps growing every minute?’
Saraswati stared hard at her sister.
‘Yeah, I also have wondered about it,’ she sighed. ‘It’s actually a sales gimmick. The common man loves to imitate his Bollywood heroes blindly.’
‘Not only heroes but heroines also,’ Lakshmi laughed. ‘Like you my sister. You are also star struck with the oil in the yellow bottle.’
Saraswati did not bother to reply.
She concentrated on the Mastani song. Immediately she struck the first chord, her pet swan woke up startled. It got up on its feet and moved away from her, frightened.
Saraswati looked at it and smiled.
‘Don’t be afraid dear Batakh,’ she said. ‘This is the new age music. Very loud, very peppy. You cannot help but dance to its tune.’
The swan was not amused. It waddled away towards the pond.
Meanwhile, Lakshmi had locked on to an online site that sold hair creams. She wanted to check out if the yellow brand of oil Saraswati was talking about was popular in Hollywood. If she could get some clue, she would try it out. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody on climate change – promote bullock carts and tonga (satire)

Moody shelves black money, goes for gold (satire)

Moody wants dhokla to be the National dish (satire)


Amy Poehler set to receive Hollywood Walk Of Fame star

Malaika Arora Khan wants to open a restaurant

Nicole Kidman all praises for Bollywood


Laldighi in Kolkata to lose its trams and make way for East-West Metro

Radiation from Fukushima nuclear reactor in Japan has spread to the United States

Electric cars to combat greenhouse effect


RAF jets pound ISIS oil field in Syria

Britain bares its fangs - RAF Tornados bomb ISIS oilfields

United States sending 200 troops to help Iraqi and Kurdish forces take on ISIS

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)


Kartika, the son of Lord Shiva and Devi Durga, is keen to become a hero and join Bollywood. He is impressed by not only the big hulky heroes and action heroes but also by the young ones who have not yet put of weight.
Kartika watches them dance and imitates their moves and actions as does his peacock – he has downloaded thousands of film songs on his mobile and practices them with his peacocks and the apsaras like Rambha and Menoka who entertain the folks up in Heaven.
As he was trying out the latest hits, his mobile rang. It was Menoka’s sister and she wanted to come down to Kailash. ‘Yes,’ Kartika connected. ‘What is bothering you?’
‘I want to try out the latest song and dance sequence from this Mastani movie,’ she replied. ‘I heard that it is the latest rage. Can I come down?’
‘I don’t know if it is the rage,’ Kartika said, ‘I have seen the video. The heroines are so thin – like sticks. I think they do not eat anything and live on just air and water.’
‘No Kartika-ji,’ Menoka’s sister laughed. ‘They also eat just like anybody else but then they go to the gym, do workouts and shed all the extra kilograms. Otherwise they cannot get the plum roles.’
‘Yes,’ Kartika agreed. ‘Competition is tough and with new faces appearing regularly, the seniors are getting branded as ‘old’ and have to make way for the newbies.’
‘But – they do not disappear from view,’ Menoka’s sister laughed. ‘They become models – old-age models. And they switch over to advertising products like joss-sticks, water purifiers and even noodles.’
‘Or – they enter politics,’ Kartika sighed. ‘And, being new, they say the wrong thing at the wrong time. They keep making mistakes and embarrass their mentors.’
‘Yes,’ Menoka’s sister agreed. ‘When do we meet?’
‘I have plans to go down to one of those Bollywood studios and find out how to get into films.’
‘Do you mind if I come with you?’
‘Well,’ Kartika hesitated, ‘I would have loved your company but, let me survey the situation first. Our visit can wait.’
‘You are jealous,’ Menoka’s sister complained. ‘You are afraid that the filmi folks might fall for my charms and select me instead of you?’
Kartika did not have a ready reply. (to be continued…)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

Moody on climate change – promote bullock carts and tonga (satire)

Moody shelves black money, goes for gold (satire)

Moody wants dhokla to be the National dish (satire)


Amy Poehler set to receive Hollywood Walk Of Fame star

Malaika Arora Khan wants to open a restaurant

Nicole Kidman all praises for Bollywood


Laldighi in Kolkata to lose its trams and make way for East-West Metro

Radiation from Fukushima nuclear reactor in Japan has spread to the United States

Electric cars to combat greenhouse effect


RAF jets pound ISIS oil field in Syria

Britain bares its fangs - RAF Tornados bomb ISIS oilfields

United States sending 200 troops to help Iraqi and Kurdish forces take on ISIS

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Moody and the mystery of Didi in Delhi (satire)


Moody was smiling which is unusual for him. Seeing him in such a mood, Jet Lee, Baba Someday and Nitty Gadcurry exchanged glances. Obviously, the Big Man was pleased with himself.
Sue Sharma was absent because Moody had sent her to attend a very important meeting in a neighboring country – one of the points on her agenda was a cricket match. Cricket brings people together, is a wonderful bonding agent and a diversionary tactic from day-to-day problems.
Suddenly his intercom rang – it was his Secretary.
‘Sir,’ Didi wants to meet you.
‘What is she doing here in Delhi?’ Moody asked. ‘Is she trying to entice others to join her brigade?’
‘Actually,’ Jet Lee spoke, ‘she is coming to attend my daughter’s marriage. Probably she wants to pay you a courtesy visit.’
‘I heard she has several items on her agenda this time,’ Baba Someday intervened. ‘She’ll probably attend our Sardarji’s son’s marriage. And – wish one of her old patrons on her birthday.’
‘Poor lady, Didi has her hands full,’ Moody commented. ‘I can guess why she wants to meet me.’
‘Could be about finances,’ Jet Lee suggested. ‘She is always complaining of no-money.’
‘Her constant pleas for money and more money reminds me of the nagging wife whose husband’s earnings are never enough,’ Moody sighed. ‘Poor Didi has not yet learnt to cut her coat according to the cloth.’
‘I heard she has plans to meet many more people,’ Nitty Gadcurry joined in. ‘She is ambitious and sees herself as a future Prime Minister.’
‘Wishful thinking,’ Moody grinned. ‘She had been to foreign countries to woo investors to her state – the response was too poor. In fact she had to make a hasty retreat from one place. She has to identify her priorities. She has to give something to get something – no one can get anything for nothing.’
‘Actually – she is too stubborn,’ Baba Someday added his opinion. ‘She has a one track mind and I feel she should learn and practice yoga. She is a great artist and yoga would help her.’
‘Yes,’ Jet Lee agreed. ‘She does have interests in non-political fields. Many of her MPs are from the film world. She loves cricket and one of the Khans is the brand ambassador for her state.’
‘Really?’ Moody was surprised, ‘I have not seen any such person promoting her state. Normally brand ambassadors are seen on TV talking about the positives of the state like tourist attractions – I don’t recollect seeing any such ad.’ ‘They are in the making,’ Nitty explained. ‘She is trying to work out what to project. With no major industries to boast of, she has to rely on cottage industries, pickles and handicrafts. But, the ad agency are not able to convince the brand ambassador to promote such products. That is the hitch.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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