Lord Shiva tries to buy tiger skins online (satire)

Till now, Lord Shiva used to have an ordinary cellphone to contact others in Heaven but, his daughter Saraswati had gifted him a new handset – it was bigger in size and it had a whole lot of buttons. He had difficulty in remembering which button was meant for which purpose. He was fiddling with the buttons when he accidentally clicked on one of the online marketing sites.
He wanted tiger skins very badly. Nowadays, there is a ban on killing tigers and he was stuck with skins that were several decades old - he was isolated from the latest fashion trends.

Durga was watching him from the corner of her eyes and enjoying herself.
Lord Shiva was confused by seeing so many thumbnails that depicted dresses, footwear, accessories, jewelry, cosmetics.
‘Click on what you want to buy,’ Durga said.
‘You mean you just click and buy?’ Shiva asked.
‘Yes – of course, before buying you must check if it is suitable for you.’
‘How can I do that unless there is a salesman or salesgirl?’
‘The mobile is your shop-cum-salesman. Click on the item you want to buy. Suppose it is a shirt. Once you click on it, it will ask you for your size, choice of color. Then it will display its variety along with cost. Select which one you want, put it in the shopping cart, pay the amount by credit card and it will be delivered at your doorstep. By drone if you want it urgently.’
‘Seems very simple,’ Lord Shiva said. ‘But don’t I get to touch and feel what I am buying?’
‘You don’t need to,’ Durga said. ‘The brands are famous and they don’t cheat. They deal in millions – they will not stoop so low as to cheat you out of a few thousands.’
Shiva did not bother to reply. He searched for tiger skins. And – he got tiger balm, posters of ‘save the tiger’, and books on Tiger Pataudi, Tiger Memon, Tiger Hill but no tiger skin.
He looked towards Durga – she was trying to get tickets online for the latest blockbuster.
‘I am not able to get tiger skin,’ he said.
‘Dear Lord, it is time for change. You must go for something else that will look like tiger skin but will not actually be tiger skin.’
‘Go in for a plain dress and get it colored to look like the original,’ she said.
‘But that is not ethical, that is cheating,’ Shiva was shocked.
‘My dear husband,’ Durga smiled. ‘That is what is happening all around us. Either join the stream or be left out.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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