Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Moody was all praises for the participants of the 2016 Rio Olympics but was saddened at the lack of gold medals – gold is the accepted recognition and when tiny nondescript countries can boast of a crop of gold, such is not the case with Moody’s land of several billion.
Moody therefore called in his team of specialists – Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Uma-ji, Ranee-ji, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Emma Melaney, Pro Cash, Banka Nadoo and Rum Mudda. Each of them was a gem and could contribute to the cause.
‘Koel-ji,’ Moody looked towards Vee Jay Koel who had a close association with the Olympics team in Rio. ‘You have seen the Olympics from very close quarters. What is your impression? Why could others bag so many gold but not us?’ ‘It is their attitude,’ Koel-ji said. ‘They train from the KG stage – and aim for the gold.’
‘Why can’t we do it here?’ Moody asked.
‘Who said we can’t?’ Koel retorted.
‘Then let us do it,’ Moody said. ‘All the heads are here today and we can work out a strategy.’
‘We could concentrate on swimming,’ Koel-ji said. ‘Our children swim to their schools and there is a cry to build bridges to cross the rivers. I think we should not do that.’
‘Nonsense,’ Moody said. ‘We must look after their welfare. They are our assets.’
‘I know,’ Koel-ji smiled. ‘We will give them swimwear and encourage them to swim to school. Give award to kids who prove their stamina.’

Jet Lee now cleared his throat.
‘Actually, here our farmers toil in the fields to grow crops – but, that does not get us any gold,’ he said. ‘We must train them to always have the concept of gold in front of their eyes.’
‘I can help in this respect,’ Baba Someday intervened.
‘Let us hear your idea,’ Moody glanced towards the shiny black beard of the Baba.
‘I can rename the fertilizers as Gold fertilizers,’ he said. ‘And my ad pitch for it would be – use bags of Gold to bag Olympics Gold.’
It was now the turn of Pro Cash to have his say. He was the man responsible to develop human resources.
‘In my opinion, we have a brilliant pool of gold medalists who break their heads to unearth IT solutions,’ Pro Cash said. ‘They are in great demand abroad. It is difficult for them to divert their attention to Olympics Gold.’ Moody laughed.
‘Exceptions can always emerge,’ he said. ‘There are engineers who are stars in cricket. Then why can’t a gold medalist in computers bag a gold in shooting? That does not require physical strength like in boxing or wrestling or in gymnastics or in marathon running.’
Pro Cash gulped.
‘I think we can take inspiration from some famous songs,’ Emma Melaney said. ‘Songs like ‘mera dharti sona ugle, ugle heera moti …’
‘Let me make it clear,’ Moody spoke again. ‘We must reverse the trend. I want our sportspersons to bag golds – one for each state.’(to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Moody’s solution for dental care – eat drumsticks (satire)

Moody normally gets very little time to watch TV programs but, suddenly one day, he chanced to see a commercial for a brand of toothpaste. In the ad, the heroine clad in jeans, literally, dropped from heaven, suggested a toothpaste which had neem and charcoal in it and vanished up in the air.
Moody also remembered a discussion by a panel of doctors who suggested that children should eat more of stuff like drumsticks and sugar cane to strengthen their teeth.

He, therefore, summoned his ministers to his office. One was Jaypee Gadda, health minister, the other was Pro Cash, minster of human resource development.
‘Have you noticed that dental care is an important part of our lives?’ Moody asked.
Both his ministers nodded. They did not know which way the discussion would turn.
‘And, there are too many brands of toothpaste in the market,’ Moody went on.
‘Teeth are an asset that must be taken care of,’ Gadda said cautiously. ‘Good teeth adds an aura to any face. Especially for the women and girls.’
Moody shook his head.
‘My dear Gadda-ji, I now that,’ he said. ‘My worry is for the children. Their parents are not giving them proper guidance on are of their teeth.’
Gadda and Pro Cash exchanged glances.
‘Parents ensure that the kids get up and brush their teeth,’ Gadda said. ‘They have small size tooth brushes and use tooth paste that have good flavor. The result is sparkling white teeth.’
My dear friend,’ Moody sighed. ‘That is not the point I am making. I am looking into the future. Unless we act today, our future generation will become toothless soon. Yes – they will lose their teeth because they are not eating drumsticks.’
Gadda gulped as did Pro Cash.
‘Have you seen any child of today chewing drumsticks? Or- sugar cane? Those are food items that strengthen the teeth. But – alas – they do not find any importance in our menu. We must rectify that.’
‘We will make it compulsory in our midday meal scheme for schools,’ Pro Cash said.
‘Yes – and we will coin a slogan ‘Drumstick khao, daant bachao,’ Gadda added. ‘We will also rope a celebrity to promote it. I know of an old man who will seize another opportunity to showcase his talents.’
‘We must also plant drumstick trees everywhere,’ Moody said. ‘That will increase the green cover, will be eco-friendly and, we might even begin exporting the sticks.’ (to be continued …)


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Moody gifts his neighbor a turban on his birthday (satire)

Moody was in a good mood, he had set yet another trend in diplomacy. He has gifted his neighbor a turban on his birthday and has been hailed as a true statesman who does not believe in boundaries between neighbors.
‘Yes,’ Sue Sharma was all praises for her boss. ‘You have shown real courage in dropping by on our neighbor disregarding normal procedures.’
‘I have always wanted to take everyone by surprise. I want to do things in my way,’ Moody said.
‘I know,’ Jet Lee joined in – he had just entered. He was accompanied by Nitty Gadcurry, Pro Cash, Uma-ji and Baba Someday. ‘Formal meetings do not produce desired results. It is the age of short cuts.’
‘Tell me, do they have plans to link up to our Golden Quadrangle?’
‘That did not come up for discussions,’ Moody said. ‘We must not rush our fences. We have to proceed cautiously.’ ‘You must have broached the subject of Pat & Jolie?’

‘It was just a courtesy call,’ Moody reminded. ‘I had gone to wish him on his birthday. And – the turban I always carry with me came in handy. He was so happy.’
‘What was the sequence of events?’ Pro Cash wanted to know.
‘Actually when I was waiting for the flight to take off from Kabul, I checked the list of birthdays stored in my mobile,’ Moody explained. ‘That is when I came across his name. I wanted to send him an SMS but decided against it - SMS is so impersonal’
‘So?’ Jet Lee prompted.
‘I rang him up,’ Moody went on. ‘He was overjoyed. Poor fellow – he does not have any close friends to talk to.’
‘And?’ it was now Sue Sharma’s turn to prompt him.
‘The rest is history,’ Moody said. ‘He invited me over for lunch – just like a good neighbor. I checked and found that I had a turban with me. That would be fine as a gift.’
‘What else do you carry with you on your trips to give as gifts?’ Baba Someday asked.
‘That is my trade secret,’ Moody smiled – which was very seldom.
‘Tell me, how dirty are the rivers there?’ Uma-ji asked. ‘Would I get a chance to clean up their rivers? With my experience, I think I could do a good job.’
‘I don’t think it matters much,’ Moody said. ‘River cleaning was not on my agenda.’ (to be continued ..)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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Moody to do stunts with animals (satire)

Moody was impressed with Putty's stunts with animals like flying with cranes and snuggling with a polar bear in the North Pole. Moody is keen to go one better – he wants to do stunts with at least four animals. His selection is peacock, cow, tiger and monkey – they are all dear to his heart.
This was a problem he had to solve – it had been bothering him while he was on the flight back home. Therefore, he called up Pro Cash, his environment minister and Sue Sharma, the foreign minister.
‘Do you think I can handle animals?’ he asked.
Pro Cash and Sue Sharma looked at each other unable to understand what Moody wanted.
‘What sort of animals?’ Pro Cash asked cautiously.
‘If someone can fly with cranes or play with polar bears, can I not do something similar?’

‘You can do better than that,’ Pro Cash said. ‘If the circus fellows can play with tigers and elephants, there is no reason why others cannot do that,’ Pro Cash said. ‘It will require some training and determination.’
‘Then let us get started,’ Moody said. ‘Find out a trainer.’
‘But - will you be able to devote any time? You have such tight schedules – will you be able to find time?’
‘I know,’ Moody agreed. ‘The foreign trips are fun but takes up too much time. And – I have to remember so many names and protocols.’
Sue Sharma now got a chance to speak. She was the foreign minister but Moody kept forgetting that and went everywhere himself.
‘Now that you have finished with the big countries, why don’t you let me handle some of the small ones?’ she asked. ‘I know you can handle them,’ Moody smiled at her. ‘But – I believe in doing things myself. Anyway, I now want to play with animals.’
‘Which ones should I take up,’ Pro Cash wanted to know.
‘I want animals that represent our country,’ Moody said.
‘Then we should begin with the cow,’ Pro Cash said. ‘What would you like to do with a cow?’
‘I will capture it,’ Moody said.
‘But it is not a wild animal,’ Pro Cash reminded.
‘I will capture it on my mobile – as a selfie,’ Moody said. ‘Then I want a monkey, a tame one that will cuddle up to me and sit on my lap. And – I want a peacock. That will dance as I play with the monkey. And – I want a tiger. Let it be seen in the background.’
‘No problem,’ Pro Cash grinned, ‘Your wish will be fulfilled.’
‘I want the photos and videos to be fed to the media properly – the world must know that we also can play with animals and birds.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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