Lord Shiva loves and enjoys dancing (satire)

It was time for the telly and Lord Shiva, like any other addict of the idiot box, was watching a dance program of children. He loves dancing – not only his tandaba dance but other dances as well. Durga sat beside him. ‘It is nice to see kids learn dancing so early in life,’ Shiva said. ‘Some of these kids are hardly five or six year old.’
‘Yes,’ Durga sighed. ‘They are getting trained on how to make others dance to their tunes. When they come of age, they’ll turn into stars of the big screen.’

‘Catch them young seems to be the message,’ Shiva said.
‘Yes,’ Durga agreed. ‘The world is tough and early grooming ensures for them a better future. Their parents go to any length to see their kids appear on these shows.’
‘What about their studies?’
‘Who worries about studies if they can mint money by virtue of their skills in dancing?’
‘You must not forget singing also,’ Shiva reminded. ‘If you ask me, the kids should go in for singing or mimicry rather than dancing.’
‘Why?’
‘Well – a dancer minus beauty would not get any place,’ Shiva said.
‘But –they are so sweet and beautiful.’
‘Will that last for another twenty years?’
Durga laughed.
‘My dear Lord,’ she said. ‘Keeping them beautiful is the work of experts. And – there is no shortage of beauticians and stylists. Once these kids make the grade on this platform, they need not look back.’
‘But they may put on weight and become ugly. They will then lose their market value.’
Durga laughed again.
‘That will never happen,’ she said. ‘They will have sponsors running after them with teams of beauticians and stylists and, loads of offers.’
‘Fine,’ Shiva was not convinced. ‘How many dancers can climb on the bandwagon?’
‘Plenty. The number of movies being made runs into thousands if you consider the number of languages. And – dance is a common factor. The really good dancers become stars, the others become the crowds.’
‘Do you think RUM could teach them a thing or two?’
‘Ram?’ Durga was surprised. ‘He was no dancer.’
‘I know. I am talking about RUM – the combination of Rambha, Urvashi and Menoka.’
‘Oh,’ Durga grinned. ‘Why don’t you ask them yourself?’
‘I will – when they come next time.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

Lord Shiva knew that he was old-fashioned. Watching the antics of people on innumerable TV channels, he had realized that he was out of sync with the world of today. In his cave in Mount Kailash, he had for company his small family and a number of attendants. But, in his heart of hearts, he wanted to be the King of good times and live life King size.
‘I think you are worried,’ Durga broke the silence. ‘Want to share your thoughts?’
‘I was watching the antics of this character who believes that he is the King of good times. He has an impressive personality but, I feel sorry for him.’
‘The world is full of such characters,’ Durga said. ‘Remember that other guy who minted millions from the cricket field.’
‘Yes. He also lived life King-size – he had his own plane. Like this new gentleman. I believe he owns an airline and loves to have calendars with photos of selected beauties.’

‘That is not new’ Durga pouted her lips. ‘Here in our world also we have many apsaras like Rambha and Menoka and there is always a rush to win them over. It is human nature. You should not read much into these alliances.’
‘Alliances?’
‘Yes, it keeps happening in the tinsel world. The heroes keep changing their wives. It seems they just are not satisfied with what they get.’
‘I see,’ Shiva muttered. ‘That is why they have coined that phrase ‘yeh dil maange more’ - applicable from cold drinks to cold wife!’
‘Believe it or not, cricket is a great equalizer – it is a wonderful fixing agent,’ Durga said. ‘It brings people close so that everyone can enjoy the good times.’
‘Then why should the ringleaders try to go into hiding?’
‘That happens when you bite more than you can chew.’
‘And – those who were once with you feel cheated and embarrassed and try to wriggle out of partnerships.'
‘But, they’ll keep coming back in one form or the other, Durga reminded. ‘They are the descendants of the Asuras – they are masters of disguise and keep changing their forms to fool the people. They are always up to some trick or the other and cannot be taken at face value. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva wants temples on the Moon and Mars (satire)

Lord Shiva came out of his cave in Mount Kailash and was surprised to see a festive mood all around. Nandi, his faithful bull was chewing the cud leisurely at the entrance to the cave while Bhringi, his trusted Man Friday was busy hanging up colored festoons.
‘What is the matter? Shiva asked no one in particular. He knew that Durga must be somewhere nearby and would brief him.
‘We will be celebrating,’ Durga came into view followed by her tame lion, swishing its tail. ‘What celebration?’ Shiva wanted to know.
‘New Year Day,’ Durga replied. ‘I have sent SMS to Menoka and Rambha. They are brushing up on the latest dance numbers and will be here with their troupes.’

‘I don’t recollect holding of any such celebrations in the past in Mount Kailash,’ Lord Shiva leaned on his trishul and mused.
‘Times are changing,’ Durga said. ‘Today, everyone wants an occasion to celebrate.’
‘That may be OK for the measly humans, but why should we copy their lifestyle? We belong to a different world!’
‘My dear husband, boundaries are crumbling,’ Durga said. ‘Sworn enemies suddenly drop by to meet over a birthday, shake hands and return home hoping to end hostilities.’
‘I heard earthlings want to leave this earth and go and settle on other planets.’
‘Yes – I have also heard about that,’ Durga said. ‘They want to settle on the Moon and on Mars. I wonder whether they will find other Durga and Shiva up there! If they do, then our days will be numbered’
‘I have an idea,’ Shiva whispered.
‘What?’
‘You know that Moody fellow? The one who is always on the move?’
‘What about him?’
‘I believe he is a dynamic go-getter,’ Shiva went on. ‘Get into his dream one of these days and tell him to send our statues to the Moon and to Mars in the next space ship that ISRO plans to send. That will be the solution.’
‘How?’
‘He and his people are obsessed with temples, right?’ Shiva grinned.
‘Yes.’
‘Well – let them be the first to build Shiva and Durga temples on other distant planets like the Moon and Mars before anybody can even think of building churches or gurdwaras or mosques.’
‘That’ll be a great idea,’ Durga agreed. ‘I’ll target Moody and all of his followers, especially that Rum Mudda character.’ (to be continued …)

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Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

Kartika, the son of Lord Shiva and Devi Durga, is keen to become a hero and join Bollywood. He is impressed by not only the big hulky heroes and action heroes but also by the young ones who have not yet put of weight.
Kartika watches them dance and imitates their moves and actions as does his peacock – he has downloaded thousands of film songs on his mobile and practices them with his peacocks and the apsaras like Rambha and Menoka who entertain the folks up in Heaven.
As he was trying out the latest hits, his mobile rang. It was Menoka’s sister and she wanted to come down to Kailash. ‘Yes,’ Kartika connected. ‘What is bothering you?’
‘I want to try out the latest song and dance sequence from this Mastani movie,’ she replied. ‘I heard that it is the latest rage. Can I come down?’
‘I don’t know if it is the rage,’ Kartika said, ‘I have seen the video. The heroines are so thin – like sticks. I think they do not eat anything and live on just air and water.’

‘No Kartika-ji,’ Menoka’s sister laughed. ‘They also eat just like anybody else but then they go to the gym, do workouts and shed all the extra kilograms. Otherwise they cannot get the plum roles.’
‘Yes,’ Kartika agreed. ‘Competition is tough and with new faces appearing regularly, the seniors are getting branded as ‘old’ and have to make way for the newbies.’
‘But – they do not disappear from view,’ Menoka’s sister laughed. ‘They become models – old-age models. And they switch over to advertising products like joss-sticks, water purifiers and even noodles.’
‘Or – they enter politics,’ Kartika sighed. ‘And, being new, they say the wrong thing at the wrong time. They keep making mistakes and embarrass their mentors.’
‘Yes,’ Menoka’s sister agreed. ‘When do we meet?’
‘I have plans to go down to one of those Bollywood studios and find out how to get into films.’
‘Do you mind if I come with you?’
‘Well,’ Kartika hesitated, ‘I would have loved your company but, let me survey the situation first. Our visit can wait.’
‘You are jealous,’ Menoka’s sister complained. ‘You are afraid that the filmi folks might fall for my charms and select me instead of you?’
Kartika did not have a ready reply. (to be continued…)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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