Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

Kartika, the son of Lord Shiva and Devi Durga, is keen to become a hero and join Bollywood. He is impressed by not only the big hulky heroes and action heroes but also by the young ones who have not yet put of weight.
Kartika watches them dance and imitates their moves and actions as does his peacock – he has downloaded thousands of film songs on his mobile and practices them with his peacocks and the apsaras like Rambha and Menoka who entertain the folks up in Heaven.
As he was trying out the latest hits, his mobile rang. It was Menoka’s sister and she wanted to come down to Kailash. ‘Yes,’ Kartika connected. ‘What is bothering you?’
‘I want to try out the latest song and dance sequence from this Mastani movie,’ she replied. ‘I heard that it is the latest rage. Can I come down?’
‘I don’t know if it is the rage,’ Kartika said, ‘I have seen the video. The heroines are so thin – like sticks. I think they do not eat anything and live on just air and water.’

‘No Kartika-ji,’ Menoka’s sister laughed. ‘They also eat just like anybody else but then they go to the gym, do workouts and shed all the extra kilograms. Otherwise they cannot get the plum roles.’
‘Yes,’ Kartika agreed. ‘Competition is tough and with new faces appearing regularly, the seniors are getting branded as ‘old’ and have to make way for the newbies.’
‘But – they do not disappear from view,’ Menoka’s sister laughed. ‘They become models – old-age models. And they switch over to advertising products like joss-sticks, water purifiers and even noodles.’
‘Or – they enter politics,’ Kartika sighed. ‘And, being new, they say the wrong thing at the wrong time. They keep making mistakes and embarrass their mentors.’
‘Yes,’ Menoka’s sister agreed. ‘When do we meet?’
‘I have plans to go down to one of those Bollywood studios and find out how to get into films.’
‘Do you mind if I come with you?’
‘Well,’ Kartika hesitated, ‘I would have loved your company but, let me survey the situation first. Our visit can wait.’
‘You are jealous,’ Menoka’s sister complained. ‘You are afraid that the filmi folks might fall for my charms and select me instead of you?’
Kartika did not have a ready reply. (to be continued…)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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