Didi visualizes industrial revival via nalen gur (satire)

The day had arrived and Didi was on tenterhooks.
She was in her cabin and, on the easel in front of her was a painting – it was a design for the cover of her latest book of poems which she would release in the Kolkata Book Fair.
But, her mind was elsewhere.
Will her vision of an industrial revival really become a reality? She was not one to venture out in search of willing investors – still, she had been to Singapore, to London to Italy and even to Berlin. She had invited everyone to come and, they have obliged.
It was now her turn to ensure that they invested in industries and help her erase the memories of driving out what would have been a major industry today.
Suddenly Moo Cool entered – he was excited.
‘Any good news?’ Didi asked.
‘One party from Germany is interested in importing nalen gur,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They want to use it for fishing.’

‘Fishing?’
‘Yes. They want to use it in their baits,’ he explained. ‘They feel the beautiful fragrance would attract more fish.’
‘But how much would they import?’ Didi asked.
‘Initially they’ll take back some samples with them. Once they return to Berlin, they’ll get them tested in their labs. If they are satisfied, they’ll negotiate terms.’
‘When can I get a feedback?’
‘If you want, I can make a trip to Berlin to hasten up the issue.’
‘That is an idea,’ Didi agreed but did not give Moo Cool any indication that she would release him. ‘I hope nalen gurer sandesh is there in the dessert?’
‘Of course,’ Moo Cool relied. ‘It is a product that is unique to us and we must explore all possible avenues to promote it and export it to foreign countries. By the way, one of my close relatives is experimenting to make cakes with nalen gur.’
‘That will be wonderful. Ask him to patent it. I have a feeling that nalen gur will be the answer to the revival of industries here.’ (to be contd …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Didi loves bicycles – she keeps gifting these to school children to teach them that going green is the mantra of today. Those who use these human propelled two wheelers never complain of potholes. They learn to circumvent such terror of the roads early in life and that strengthens their resolve to conquer any obstacle.
Moreover, bicycle industry does not require much land!
She called in Moo Cool, her Jack of all trades, and he came running into her office.
‘I just now had a fantastic idea,’ she said. ‘I am sure no one can ever think about it.’
‘Is it about Durga Puja inauguration schedule?’ Moo Cool asked cautiously. He had drawn up a schedule keeping in mind innumerable points so that she did not have any complaint. If she changed it now, his efforts would have gone waste and he would have to struggle because time was running out.
‘No. It is about cycles,’ Didi smiled. ‘Bicycles. They will solve plenty of problems related to the roads riddled with potholes.’
‘I have already dispatched 10,000 bicycles for the school children,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They will be there for distribution before you reach the venue.’

‘I know about that,’ Didi said. ‘I am thinking about manufacturing bicycles under the head of industry. We can borrow expertise from Punjab. My friend Cage Reball will help us out. He has promised to help me.’
‘That is good news,’ Moo Cool heaved a sigh of relief. ‘But – you mentioned potholes. And, they are not good news. We want foreigners to come here but the condition of roads are bad.’
‘Don’t lose heart,’ Didi assured. ‘We will provide them with palkis and horse drawn carriages. Such attention will win them over. It will help us to prove our commitment to have a clean, pollution free environment.’
‘But, how are bicycles and potholes related?’
‘Don’t you understand - their combination would generate employment,’ Didi sounded excited.
Moo Cool scratched his head.
‘Arrey bhai, potholes mean broken axles of cars and buses and trucks and damage to vehicles, right?’
Moo Cool nodded.
‘To take care of them, thousands of repair shops have already sprouted up all over the cities. And – self-employment has increased, right?'
Again Moo Cool nodded.
‘We will make cycling to work compulsory for all employees who live within a five kilometer radius of his or her office. That will generate still more self-employed people. They will man cycle repair shops.’
‘Didi,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘You are a real genius.’
‘I know,’ she smiled. ‘We will also identify our ABCD and give an increment to those who cycle to work. For those who do not do so, we will penalize them by imposing a fine. We will change the work culture. We will promote the green concept.’
‘By the way, what exactly is this ABCD?’ Moo Cool appeared to be stumped.
‘All Bengal Cycling Day,’ Didi said. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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Will the Sun shine in Bengal on Sujjo Kanta? (satire)

The elections were finally over and, while all of them had heaved a sigh of relief, suspense hang heavily in the air because no one could hazard a guess on which way the wind was blowing. Will Didi score 294? Will the Sun shine on Sujjo Kanta? Didi and her band of followers had, suddenly, vanished from the scene and there were fears in certain quarters that many tall claims had fizzled out – after all, one cannot fool others indefinitely, the truth was bound to come out in the open.
‘I think we should draw up some action plan,’ Sujjo Kanta said. ‘I can feel power creeping back it into my bones.’
‘You are right,’ Audy Choudy agreed. ‘I am in contact with my bosses in Delhi and, once I get the go ahead, I can breathe easy. Our gang can give a new meaning to the people who have got fed up within five years.’

‘Yes, we must abandon the experiment that has fallen flat on its face,’ Sujjo Kanta said. ‘And – embark on a new experiment.’
Momad Sulley and Ritu Bruto had been listening till now. Sulley opened his mouth.
‘Agriculture is our power and we must weave industry into the fabric to get noticed,’ he said. ‘We must move with the times.’
‘Instead of one motor company manufacturing one type of cars we must have several of them – and, they must make use of common facilities,’ Ritu Bruto added.
‘You mean to say we must have dedicated groups of men to ensure that everything goes as per our plans? And – there will be no coercion or use of force?’
‘Yes – farmers must be willing participants,’ Ritu Bruto went on. ‘We do not want to burn our fingers again. Our strategy must be to marry agriculture with industry. That way, all parties will be happy. Our motto should be to spread happiness and goodwill.’
Audy Choudy looked from Sujjo Kanta to Ritu Bruto and Momad Sulley.
‘And – how do we do that?’ he asked.
Wee Man Bose, the wizened old man had been a silent spectator till now. It was now his turn to make his presence felt. ‘There is a time and place for everything,’ he said slowly. ‘Let us not put the cart before the horse. Once the time is ripe, all the jigsaw pieces will fall in place.’
‘And create a wonderful canvas,’ Sujjo Kanta said.
‘A canvas that will not be for sale,’ Ritu Bruto added. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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