Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Didi loves bicycles – she keeps gifting these to school children to teach them that going green is the mantra of today. Those who use these human propelled two wheelers never complain of potholes. They learn to circumvent such terror of the roads early in life and that strengthens their resolve to conquer any obstacle.
Moreover, bicycle industry does not require much land!
She called in Moo Cool, her Jack of all trades, and he came running into her office.
‘I just now had a fantastic idea,’ she said. ‘I am sure no one can ever think about it.’
‘Is it about Durga Puja inauguration schedule?’ Moo Cool asked cautiously. He had drawn up a schedule keeping in mind innumerable points so that she did not have any complaint. If she changed it now, his efforts would have gone waste and he would have to struggle because time was running out.
‘No. It is about cycles,’ Didi smiled. ‘Bicycles. They will solve plenty of problems related to the roads riddled with potholes.’
‘I have already dispatched 10,000 bicycles for the school children,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They will be there for distribution before you reach the venue.’

‘I know about that,’ Didi said. ‘I am thinking about manufacturing bicycles under the head of industry. We can borrow expertise from Punjab. My friend Cage Reball will help us out. He has promised to help me.’
‘That is good news,’ Moo Cool heaved a sigh of relief. ‘But – you mentioned potholes. And, they are not good news. We want foreigners to come here but the condition of roads are bad.’
‘Don’t lose heart,’ Didi assured. ‘We will provide them with palkis and horse drawn carriages. Such attention will win them over. It will help us to prove our commitment to have a clean, pollution free environment.’
‘But, how are bicycles and potholes related?’
‘Don’t you understand - their combination would generate employment,’ Didi sounded excited.
Moo Cool scratched his head.
‘Arrey bhai, potholes mean broken axles of cars and buses and trucks and damage to vehicles, right?’
Moo Cool nodded.
‘To take care of them, thousands of repair shops have already sprouted up all over the cities. And – self-employment has increased, right?'
Again Moo Cool nodded.
‘We will make cycling to work compulsory for all employees who live within a five kilometer radius of his or her office. That will generate still more self-employed people. They will man cycle repair shops.’
‘Didi,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘You are a real genius.’
‘I know,’ she smiled. ‘We will also identify our ABCD and give an increment to those who cycle to work. For those who do not do so, we will penalize them by imposing a fine. We will change the work culture. We will promote the green concept.’
‘By the way, what exactly is this ABCD?’ Moo Cool appeared to be stumped.
‘All Bengal Cycling Day,’ Didi said. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


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