Didi wants to give Ilish at Rs 10 per Kg (satire)

Moo Cool looked at Abhi Shake, Patro Chatto and Omit Sen and shook his head. The demands of Didi was becoming more and more demanding with every passing day. All of them could sense that she was becoming desperate and wanted to be seen everywhere with her people – doling out the freebies.
‘What do we project now?’ Moo Cool asked others.
‘We have given way bicycles, school uniforms, school books, shoes and even rice at Rs 2 per Kg – what do we give away now?’ Dee Wreck spoke out his thoughts.
‘Mobile phones could be an idea,’Abhi Shake suggested. ‘That way Didi could have direct contact with one and all.’
Suddenly the lady herself entered – she came in like a gust of wind and looked hard at the assembled gathering and found some faces missing.
‘Where is Show Van? And – Fear Had?’ she asked.

‘Both are indisposed,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They had a heavy dinner – at a marriage party. You know how such parties are – it takes great resolve to miss out on those delicious fish fries and ice creams.’
‘I have repeatedly told all of you to stay away from such parties,’ Didi was not happy. ‘There is no knowing who will snap whose photo and flash it on TV. And - I’ll have to do the explaining. This will go down in my black book.’
A boy entered with a tray of tea cups and a kettle of tea – any meeting minus tea is meaningless.
Didi took a sip and put on her glasses.
‘Well – what have you decided? What should we project now?’
‘We could distribute free Padma Ilish,’ Patro Chatto suggested. ‘There is an improvement in relationship with our neighbor. Moody has laid the foundation and we can build on it.’
‘But – what is ilish without mustard oil?’ Dee Wreck asked.
‘Then we will make a package deal,’ Didi appeared to like the idea. ‘Make the announcement – we will distribute one ilish along with mustard oil on subsidized rates in my next meeting. If we keep them happy, they will not disappoint us.’
‘What will we charge?’
‘We are giving rice for Rs 2 per Kg – we will price Ilish at Rs 10 per Kg. Let our friends enjoy life. Omit-ji, please arrange necessary funds as you have been doing till now.’
‘But – the stock of your drawings is exhausted,’ Omit Misra said. ‘You’ll have to create some more.’ (to be continued …)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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A street food named jhal muri

Jhal muri is a street food that is unique to Kolkata – it has been there for ages and no one can really remember who invented this recipe. It is a very simple recipe and requires no cooking as such. It is a ready to eat mixture that is usually prepared and served to the customers on demand. It is always fresh and a delicious preparation that used to, once upon a time, be the catalyst for relationships between the boys and the girls – in the days when social networking, as we now know it, was nonexistent.
The art of making jhal muri is a well-kept secret of those who have mastered the art. Way back in the 1950s and 1960s, the sellers, wearing ghungroos (bells) around their ankles, would go about the neighborhood. The very sound of the bells was music to the ears and children would flock to the source of the jingling to get in queue and lay hands on the jhal muri packets.

These packets would be made of paper, mostly large size pages of magazines.
As to the ingredients – most important was the fluffed rice of muri. The dispenser of the concoction would put a fistful of muri into a container which would usually be a can that once held oil or ghee or some such product.
Then would follow a whole lot of ingredients like tiny pieces of onions, green chili, fried groundnuts, and a few other exotic items. He would then sprinkle a few drops of mustard oil in the container and stir the ingredients with a large spoon.
And – then he would remove a packet, pour the jhal muri into it and serve with a flourish. Usually, the quantity of jhal muri prepared would depend on the number of customers at that point of time.
Incidentally, jhal muri vendors are also seen in trains bound for Kolkata – they board the trains when they enter the borders of West Bengal and the long distance passengers are their patrons because jhal muri is an identity of Bengalis. (to be continued …)

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Prawns are the prized catch of the kitchen

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Prawns are the prized catch of the kitchen

Three fourths of the Earth is water and, water means fish and thousands of varieties from the tiny ornamental ones meant for the aquarium to the huge fish like tuna that can weigh in tonnes. Fish is an integral part of any Bengali’s life and, those who live in Bengal can have their choice of the best ones, subject to the strength of the purse while those who are denied such a privilege have to be content with whatever is available.
Therefore, prawns win hands down because of its easy availability all over the world. In India, it is called chemeen in down South in Kerala and jhinga in Mumbai. We, Bengalis, call them chingri and, the different methods of cooking can make the dish an unforgettable one.

Of course, it is a fish that has wastages in the form of the scales, but, the stuff inside the scales are something that one would get hooked on to and savor again and again.
If the size is too small, the method is to cook it in a base of lauki – the resultant lau-chingri with the typical kumro-bari, a unique Bengali food item, can bowl anyone over.
Once the size of the prawn is large enough, the fish can be cooked in a number of ways. One popular method is in a coconut base. The coconut is grated and the fish with mustard oil and a few green chilies thrown in is steam cooked in a closed container. The fish is not fried but, kept in the raw condition. When the lid is opened, the flavor of the prawns will hit you hard and, you will want to sit down to taste it.
The third equally tasty preparation of prawns is the spicy one. The shell of the fish is usually not removed fully and, once fried, it turns reddish in color and imparts an unmistakable glow to the final product. The fish is fried and then cooked in a paste of onion and garlic with the addition of regular spices. (to be continued …)
(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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