Moody wants a selfie museum (satire)

Moody was closeted with his PR minister Jet Lee – he was actually his Finance Minister but doubled up as I&B Minister as well. He was Moody’s troubleshooter and has been doing a creditable job till now. Moody was pleased with him.
Moody had several winners in his team who were women and he held them in high regard. Apart from Sue Sharma who handled foreign affairs, there was Uma-ji, who was an expert of the River Ganga, and there was Ranee-ji who looked after education.
‘I want to have a museum,’ Moody said.
‘What sort of?’ Jet Lee enquired.
‘To display selfies,’ Moody said. ‘Selfie is the latest fad and everyone has become addicted to it. It is an indicator of our progress.’
‘I know,’ Jet Lee smiled. ‘My kids are mad. They keep taking selfies and out of 100, they will select a couple and post them on Facebook.’

Moody gulped. It was so unfortunate that he was born so late in the day.
In the days when he had been a humble tea shop owner or the days when he would go about in half pants, no one had conceived the idea of selfies. If they had, Moody would certainly have had many more in his collection. They would have been assets for his selfie museum and made it a global attraction and ‘must see’ spot in travel itineraries. Who knows – his selfie museum could even earn heritage status one of these days.
‘Tell me,’ he asked Jet Lee. ‘Who invented selfies on cellphone? Who clicked the first selfie on a mobile phone?’ ‘I will put our research team on the job,’ Jet Lee assured. ‘I will ask them to contact Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and Sundar Pichai. One of them must know.’
‘Please assign priority to this,’ Moody said. ‘Once you have identified him, get me his date of birth.’
‘You want to send him greetings?’
‘That will come later – once I know the date, I will pursue the matter with the United Nations to go in for a ‘Selfie Day’ – it should be the date of birth of the individual.’
Jet Lee grinned.
‘That will be just great,’ he said. ‘I am confident that the UN would listen to your proposal - as they did for Yoga Day,’
‘Yes - yoga had been there for centuries but no one bothered to assign it a proper place among the masses,’ Moody said. ‘Our yoga guru could have done it but he was busy making noodles and biscuits.’
Moody sat back in his throne – another plus point for him. No leader in the world would ever think on having a selfie museum. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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The moment I set foot in Howrah station on my return to Kolkata after the interview in Nashik, I sensed something amiss. The picture on every front page of newspapers showed a West Indian batsman who was running on Red Road with his cricket bat raised in the air. It seems the previous day there was some problem in the Eden Gardens while an India West Indies test match was in progress.
In 1966, there was no cellphone and landline connections were few and far between – therefore, I did not have a chance to announce my homecoming in advance – I just had to knock on the door and say I have come.
I had very little luggage and I took a bus and while sitting in the bus, I had time to recall my interview and felt in my heart of hearts that I may not make the grade – but, I must put up a brave face in front of my parents and among my friends, especially those who were my colleagues in Moitra & Company.
I decided to keep a straight face and smile – it can be interpreted in many ways.
Anyway, within a fortnight I was a much relieved man because the offer of appointment had come by post and I now had to wait for the firm appointment letter. I was literally on cloud nine and celebrated the occasion with my friends and colleagues.
I also informed my Principal and he congratulated me.
But, the final letter was getting delayed. January came and went and February was also half way over and the final letter had still not arrived. I therefore wrote a letter to the Personnel Manager and enclosed a self-addressed and stamped envelope for a reply. I wanted to know my fate!!
Well – the reply came. It was brief and to the point. I had been selected for the next financial year and my firm appointment letter would come only after March. It actually came in the middle of April and I boarded the Howrah-Mumbai Mail via Nagpur to enter a new phase of my life. The train fare from Howrah to Nashik, a distance of nearly 1800-Km, was Rs 35 and reservation charges was just 25 paise. (to be continued …)

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