Moody wants a selfie museum (satire)

Moody was closeted with his PR minister Jet Lee – he was actually his Finance Minister but doubled up as I&B Minister as well. He was Moody’s troubleshooter and has been doing a creditable job till now. Moody was pleased with him.
Moody had several winners in his team who were women and he held them in high regard. Apart from Sue Sharma who handled foreign affairs, there was Uma-ji, who was an expert of the River Ganga, and there was Ranee-ji who looked after education.
‘I want to have a museum,’ Moody said.
‘What sort of?’ Jet Lee enquired.
‘To display selfies,’ Moody said. ‘Selfie is the latest fad and everyone has become addicted to it. It is an indicator of our progress.’
‘I know,’ Jet Lee smiled. ‘My kids are mad. They keep taking selfies and out of 100, they will select a couple and post them on Facebook.’

Moody gulped. It was so unfortunate that he was born so late in the day.
In the days when he had been a humble tea shop owner or the days when he would go about in half pants, no one had conceived the idea of selfies. If they had, Moody would certainly have had many more in his collection. They would have been assets for his selfie museum and made it a global attraction and ‘must see’ spot in travel itineraries. Who knows – his selfie museum could even earn heritage status one of these days.
‘Tell me,’ he asked Jet Lee. ‘Who invented selfies on cellphone? Who clicked the first selfie on a mobile phone?’ ‘I will put our research team on the job,’ Jet Lee assured. ‘I will ask them to contact Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and Sundar Pichai. One of them must know.’
‘Please assign priority to this,’ Moody said. ‘Once you have identified him, get me his date of birth.’
‘You want to send him greetings?’
‘That will come later – once I know the date, I will pursue the matter with the United Nations to go in for a ‘Selfie Day’ – it should be the date of birth of the individual.’
Jet Lee grinned.
‘That will be just great,’ he said. ‘I am confident that the UN would listen to your proposal - as they did for Yoga Day,’
‘Yes - yoga had been there for centuries but no one bothered to assign it a proper place among the masses,’ Moody said. ‘Our yoga guru could have done it but he was busy making noodles and biscuits.’
Moody sat back in his throne – another plus point for him. No leader in the world would ever think on having a selfie museum. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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Moody wants ODIs in Silicon Valley (satire)

Moody wanted to create a diversion because his people continued to land him and his Bosses in unpleasant situations. People kept pointing fingers at him and criticize him for his inability to keep his flock in check.
Therefore, he called Jet Lee to discuss diversionary tactics.
‘Jet Lee,’ he began. ‘You love cricket, don’t you?’
‘Well,’ Jet Lee wiped the sweat from his bald head. ‘I do.’
‘Your idols are the fast bowlers Brett Lee and Sir Richard Hadlee – right?’
‘Yes. They bowl wonderful bouncers.’
‘I want ODIs to be taken to Silicon Valley.’
Jet Lee gulped. The Americans had their own version of cricket known as Baseball and making ODIs popular in Silicon Valley could make him lose whatever few strands of hair he still sported.

‘That would be a good idea but, why do you want this?’
‘Cricket is a wonderful means to keep the attention of people diverted. They must be given a new toy to play with. I am tired of listening to leaders who say something today and clarify next day that they were misquoted.’ ‘Then ODI is certainly an antidote,’ Jet Lee rubbed his hands in glee.
‘Let us set the ball rolling. I am sure Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Sundar Pichai, Steve Jobs and their likes would love to own ODI cricket teams.’
‘Steve Jobs is dead.’
‘But, not his Apple,’ Moody displayed his depth of general knowledge.
‘They will need brand ambassadors.’
‘That should not be a problem. There are many reputable cricketers who have retired and are twiddling their thumbs and are busy working as models to advertise fancy products. I am sure they would love to get back into the game.’
‘Fine – and, who do we rope in as the main sponsor?’
‘There would be no dearth of willing Corporates. Just leak the news to the media and wait for reactions. I am sure it will serve its purpose.’
‘I think I will drop the hint to one of those over enthusiastic reporters like Bakra Madam.’
‘Yes, she would be OK,’ Moody appeared to be relieved. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)


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