Rum Mudda reminds Moody about temples (satire)

Moody was subdued. Normally he took the lead but, of late, he was apprehensive. The ringing of the phone kept jolting him out of his trance. Yes, he was in a sort of a trance. Ever since the infiltration of bees, his friends from across the Seas kept reminding him that he must tread with greater caution. One must be careful while handling roses, they have thorns.
Suddenly the dreaded phone rang.
‘What is happening to my temple?’ it was Rum Mudda at the other end. He was Moody’s Boss and he sounded to be in a not-too-happy mood.
‘Temple?’ Moody squirmed in his chair.
‘Yes,’ Mudda expressed his annoyance. ‘I expected that you would put the matter on the fast track. But you are moving at a snail’s pace.’
‘I have my liabilities,’ Moody tried to explain. ‘It is a sensitive issue and it has to be given sufficient time. It falls in the category of ‘handle with care.’ Haste will make waste.’

‘What do you mean?’ Rum Mudda was impatient.
‘Work is on in full swing,’ Moody said. ‘I am keeping a tab on the progress and am getting regular feedback.’
‘But – we must declare a timeframe.’
‘Don’t worry Mudda-ji, all will come in due course. You cannot put the cat before the horse. Therefore, you must have patience.’
‘Oh Moody-ji, we have waited too long, we want to see the temple.’
‘Our boys have made a model. I have seen it when I last visited the workshop. It is just the right size to fit into the cavity of the rocket.’
‘Workshop? Rocket? What are you talking about?’ Rum Mudda flared up.
‘I am talking about the model of the temple that our boys in ISRO are making. They will send it to Mars in Mangalyaan-2. We will do what America or Russia or France or Japan have never thought of doing. We will position our temple, the first ever temple, on the Red Planet Mars. It will be a tribute to my Make in India philosophy.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva wants temples on the Moon and Mars (satire)

Lord Shiva came out of his cave in Mount Kailash and was surprised to see a festive mood all around. Nandi, his faithful bull was chewing the cud leisurely at the entrance to the cave while Bhringi, his trusted Man Friday was busy hanging up colored festoons.
‘What is the matter? Shiva asked no one in particular. He knew that Durga must be somewhere nearby and would brief him.
‘We will be celebrating,’ Durga came into view followed by her tame lion, swishing its tail. ‘What celebration?’ Shiva wanted to know.
‘New Year Day,’ Durga replied. ‘I have sent SMS to Menoka and Rambha. They are brushing up on the latest dance numbers and will be here with their troupes.’

‘I don’t recollect holding of any such celebrations in the past in Mount Kailash,’ Lord Shiva leaned on his trishul and mused.
‘Times are changing,’ Durga said. ‘Today, everyone wants an occasion to celebrate.’
‘That may be OK for the measly humans, but why should we copy their lifestyle? We belong to a different world!’
‘My dear husband, boundaries are crumbling,’ Durga said. ‘Sworn enemies suddenly drop by to meet over a birthday, shake hands and return home hoping to end hostilities.’
‘I heard earthlings want to leave this earth and go and settle on other planets.’
‘Yes – I have also heard about that,’ Durga said. ‘They want to settle on the Moon and on Mars. I wonder whether they will find other Durga and Shiva up there! If they do, then our days will be numbered’
‘I have an idea,’ Shiva whispered.
‘What?’
‘You know that Moody fellow? The one who is always on the move?’
‘What about him?’
‘I believe he is a dynamic go-getter,’ Shiva went on. ‘Get into his dream one of these days and tell him to send our statues to the Moon and to Mars in the next space ship that ISRO plans to send. That will be the solution.’
‘How?’
‘He and his people are obsessed with temples, right?’ Shiva grinned.
‘Yes.’
‘Well – let them be the first to build Shiva and Durga temples on other distant planets like the Moon and Mars before anybody can even think of building churches or gurdwaras or mosques.’
‘That’ll be a great idea,’ Durga agreed. ‘I’ll target Moody and all of his followers, especially that Rum Mudda character.’ (to be continued …)

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Winning elections is not as simple as making tea (satire)

The official stand of the debacle in Bihar and the preliminary findings that it was an example of collective failure has not gone down well with the old-timers of the party. These once popular leaders have now been sidelined because of their age. But have, still, had their say – and, they have, in one voice, condemned the people who had been at the helm of affairs in the state.
They have not mentioned names but have dropped enough hints to help identification.
‘The smell of success has gone to their heads,’ Lal-ji lamented. ‘And, they have begun to pay the price. First in Delhi and now in Bihar.’
‘This is the trouble of improper upbringing,’ Yashu-bhai added. ‘They feel politics is as simple as making tea. Just sir in a few ingredients to maintain the heat.’

‘They have become a family with no proper head,’ Double M sighed. ‘What they lack is a strong head. They may appear to be loaded with strength but it is all muscle strength. Their brains are not yet developed.’
‘The drubbing they got will keep haunting us forever,’ the cool one said. ‘Why did they have to stoop so low to conquer what should have been easy pickings?’
‘Actually, they have mixed up their priorities. They feel lung power coupled with muscle power will pay dividends,’ Lal-ji said.
‘That does not always happen when you have people who don’t know when to say what,’ Yashu-bhai was not happy. ‘Like the DNA affair. The problem magnified when the post offices were overloaded with samples of DNAs and did not know how to store them.’
‘Then the talks about fireworks across the border,’ Double M said. ‘Why should we worry about what they fire so long as those are not bullets or mortars? Moreover, Diwali is our festival and, we do not want to burst crackers to pollute the atmosphere. So, why bring it up at all?’
‘We all know the priorities but some people keep mixing them up. Why should we talk about dogs? We all know that dogs are a menace – not just in our country but all over the world. Why should we not let the sleeping dogs lie?’
‘Yes, we need to, instead, concentrate on building the temple. That was our priority.’
‘But, our folks seem to have forgotten which temple and where.’
‘And – not worry too much about cows. They provide us with milk and milk products but not votes.’
‘By the way – there is a drive on to locate adulterated sweets. Has anyone researched as to why these surface only during festivals? An answer to this question could get us more votes the next time around.’ (to be continued …)

(Image source wikimediacommons.org)

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TV and close association with Gods and festivals

Indians are a God fearing lot and, no matter how liberal we may project ourselves to be, the fact remains that we are still haunted by superstition. We still have full faith in God and know that he will always stand by our side and deliver us from all evil. That is why the set on practically every TV serial will have a space devoted to God.
This in-house temple will be a place where all family members will assemble – not just to pray on regular festivals but also to pray for a death-bed member of the family to recover. He (or she) might have been involved in a serious head on collision on the road. The accident would have been engineered by a member of the family who is not on good terms with the victim or who feels he has been wronged.

The spot of red on the forehead of the victim would signify the seriousness of the injury. And, the prayer sessions in front of God would prove that God can perform miracles, doctors are not really necessary. Once in a while, the prayer venue would shift to an outside temple – or even a temple in the premises of the hospital.
So much so for praying to God on selfish motives. There are other occasions to pray and celebrate and that is during festival times and, in the Indian calendar, there is no shortage of festivals.
Regular and large scale festivals mean Dussera, Diwali, Holi, and Ganesh festival and others include kite festival, karwa chauth etcetera. And then, there are the marriage rituals right from the pre wedding song and dances to the actual marriage ceremonies. On these occasions, the stars of the glittering world of TV grab the chance to showcase latest fashion trends and the online business of the products soars.
That is what TV is all about – enjoy and let others enjoy, let business flourish, let there be smiles on people’s faces. As an ad of a popular two-wheeler goes – why should boys have all the fun? Let the fun not be restricted to only a few. (to be continued …)
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