Didi and her brainstorming session (satire)

Didi has grown old too fast – it was evident in the way she talked and even behaved. Gone were the days of showing off and crying herself hoarse over petty issues like cartoons. She seemed to be a reformed individual.
She had called for a brainstorming session in her Cully Ghat house which doubled up as her party’s office – the topic was industries. The reason for having a home-cum-office meant she was always at hand. Moreover, it translated into good business for the tea stalls nearby.
They supplied tea and snacks not only for her meetings but also for thousands of media persons who had to be always at hand to pick up sound bites, first hand, and who needed a place to rest their legs and gossip.
‘I want industries,’ Didi began. ‘What suggestions have you brought?’

‘My vote will go to nolen gur,’ Abhi Shake said. ‘It will be a certain winner. We can market it overseas and earn dollars. Moody-ji always harps on ‘Make in India’ – we will modify it to ‘Make in Bengal’. We will include in one of the online food portals. It will mean not just income in dollars but also be a boost to international flights from Kolkata airport.’
Didi looked towards Omit Misra who sat in one of the front row seats.
‘Omit babu, what do you think? Will it click?’ she asked.
‘Let me study the PPR, then only I can comment,’ Omit replied. He was a tired old man – over the past four years, he had been breaking his head to get a break. He had traveled with Didi to Singapore and London but, except sightseeing, nothing positive transpired.
‘What is PPR?’ Abhi asked.
‘It is the Preliminary Project Report. It should outline all relevant details. Once it gets approval, the DPR would also be necessary.’
‘DPR?” What is that?’
‘The Detailed Project Report. These are vital basics to set up any industry.’
‘How does it help?’
‘Such reports give a clear concept of what is being planned, how the work should proceed, what benefits would accrue etcetera.’
‘Omit-ji, I don’t need these. It is my people who will toil and manufacture the nolen gur. Dee Wreck will market it through the online portals. Bengalis from Hiroshima to Honolulu to Houston will go mad once they know that nolen gur has gone global and will be available at the click of the mouse. Omit-babu, you just keep track of the dollars, OK?’
‘But – who will finance these?’
Abhi Shake gave a hearty laugh.
‘There is no shortage of chit funds and gullible public who will use every opportunity to double their money in one year,’ Abhi explained. Then he looked at Didi. ‘What do you think?’ he asked her. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Abhi Shake for industries to boost Bengal’s image (satire)

Things were getting jittery for Abhi Shake – from the way Didi behaved, he had got the impression that Moo Cool was a goner and Abhi could occupy the seat quite easily. But – that may not happen so soon.
‘What is biting you?’ Omit Misra asked. He was a wizened old soul and knew from experience that there was trouble brewing.
‘Nothing,’ Abhi replied – ‘actually, I was thinking about nolen gur. This year, winter has not set in properly and nolen gur is suffering.’
Omit Misra grimaced. Abhi had, unknowingly, touched a tender spot. Didi had asked to invest money in the nolen gur industry and, with the climate playing truant, how could such an industry survive?

‘I am worried about the return of Moo Cool,’ Abhi admitted.
Omit Misra knew that the return of Moo Cool had spoilt the party for many stalwarts. He had heard that Moo Cool and Didi had a long association and he also knew that Moo Cool always thought up winning strategies. Omit had an inkling that Didi would suddenly spring some surprise.
Suddenly Dee Wreck entered with Show Van and Patro Chatto.
‘Why are you so forlorn?’ Dee Wreck occupied the chair beside Abhi and asked.
‘I am worried about nolen gur,’ Abhi said. ‘It has vanished from the market.’
‘If you want I can get you loads of them,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘Do you want the raw gur or the finished product like nolen gurer sandesh? I know a shop that can supply in Kgs.’
Before Abhi could reply, Patro cleared his throat to draw attention.
‘As you all know, Didi is worried about the new-found energy of the Reds,’ he spoke. ‘She wants to wipe them off the slate. And, we must help her retain her position. Remember, if she goes, we are sunk.’
‘I will launch a campaign in the social media,’ Dee Wreck assured. ‘That is the best way to attract attention.’
‘I will gather support from the poor gur makers,’ Abhi said. ‘Their votes will also count. Since nolen gur is what our brothers pine for, I will take up the issue and fight for their cause. If they survive, our industry will also survive. It does not require much land. Whatever land bank we have will be sufficient. Investment also is less but profits are huge. Remember the Amitabh Bachhan movie Saudagar – the name means ‘businessman’.’
Omit Misra heaved a sigh of relief. If only some business house invested in nolen gur it would open up the doors for others. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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