Didi’s palanquin tourism to woo foreign tourists (satire)

#palanquin Didi knew that tourism attracts money and, even though there are any number of tourist attractions around her that tourists would love to visit, they just do not come. And – that bothered her. So, she summoned Abhi Shake, Mo Cool, Patro Chatto, Omit Misra, Dee Wreck and a few others to discuss this all-important subject.
‘Abhi Shake – I want an action plan on promoting tourism in our state,’ she said. ‘We must think out of the box.’
‘There are spots in the hills, on the beaches, in the forests,’ Abhi said. ‘They are popular but are not attracting foreign tourists, only locals.’
‘I know,’ Didi said. ‘That is what I want to change. Give me ideas.’
‘Actually, our roads are so bad that foreigners hesitate to embark on journeys,’ Omit Misra mumbled. ‘They are used to comfort.’
‘Let us give it to them,’ Didi said. ‘Let us build necessary infrastructure.’
‘But – that takes time,’ Omit commented.
‘Don’t tell me,’ Didi was not happy with his reply. ‘You suffer from a defeatist mentality. Nothing is impossible.’ Her lieutenants looked at each other, confused.

‘Let us bring back the palanquin,’ she said. ‘It was so useful in those good old days when there were no roads. Only, let us make them more comfortable. Let them be air-conditioned with inbuilt TV. Let there be windows for the foreigners to watch the surrounding scenery.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Moo Cool opened his mouth. ‘We can make it a double whammy.’
‘How?’ Abhi Shake asked.
‘We can make the palanquins locally,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘That will be a part of our industry friendly activities. Making palanquins do not need hundreds of acres and we can set up factories in the land banks we hold.’
‘Exactly,’ Didi grinned, which was seldom. ‘I knew Moo Cool would come up with a good idea.’
Abhi Shake was a bit unhappy to see Didi praise Moo Cool sky-high.
‘And, of course, we can generate plenty of employment,’ he said. ‘We will have to recruit the palanquin bearers. They must be not only be sturdy but also experienced in long distance running and marathons.’
‘Yes,’ Didi said. ‘Someone can set up training institutes to teach them English and a few foreign languages like Japanese so that they can interact with the tourists.’
‘I’ll have to check out which industrialist will invest in this venture,’ Omit Misra said.
‘Why don’t you talk to Gourav Danguli about this?’ Didi suggested. ‘He can have a session on palanquins and how they have developed.’
‘Yes – that’s an idea,’ Omit Said.
Dee Wreck polished his glasses and grinned.
‘Didi, you are a genius,’ he was elated. ‘I’ll post a write-up on Facebook about this revolutionary concept. Your palanquin tourism will take the world by storm.’ (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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Didi discusses industries with Moo Cool and Omit Misra (satire)

Critics may talk ill of her but Didi knows that she is unstoppable – she has swept aside all opposition and over the last four years, she has woven a web of magic. She has promised her people the Moon and believes that it is within her grasp.
She was closeted in her humble house with a few of her trusted lieutenants like Dee Wreck, Omit Misra, Show Van, Fear Had, and Moo Cool and was trying to evolve new strategies for the future.
‘We must ensure that we project our positives in the industrial sector,’ she said.
‘Agreed,’ Omit Mitra wiped his glasses. ‘We have held several get-togethers with industrialists. They were happy with our arrangements. Especially the sweet dishes – they loved the tastes.’
‘What sort of business potential can we expect?’ Didi asked.

‘Well – it could run into crores,’ Omit Misra replied. ‘But – there could be a hitch.’
‘What sort of?’
‘It is the health aspect,’ Omit said. ‘The days of people gorging on dozens of rasogollas have gone with the wind – winds of change.’
‘I see,’ Didi was serious. ‘What about the pickle industry?’
‘That is OK – but the competition is stiff,’ Omit admitted. ‘Pickles from North India have already captured a major portion of the market.’
‘Then our cottage industries like mat making and hand fans.’
‘Today those are out of fashion, it is now the age of carpets and air conditioners.’
Didi now looked at the others.
‘We must promote our industries,’ Didi was serious. ‘We already have Gourav Danguli working on it through TV – let us organize some more industry fairs.’
Her lieutenants looked at each other – they dared not speak up in front of Didi. They knew that the trips to Singapore and London did not prove to be up to expectations. Neither did the local exhibitions and fairs.
‘Don’t you have any new ideas?’ Didi prodded them.
‘I am writing a book on how to play the game of politics,’ Moo Cool said. ‘If Dee Wreck can market it properly, it would rake in crores of rupees like paintings.’
‘What all have you revealed?’ Didi was curious.
‘It is all about how to keep everyone guessing,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘It is full of tension, emotion, intrigue, and suspense – there are thrills galore and the ending is a surprise.’
‘And – what is the name of your book?’
‘‘Double G – the Guessing Game’,’ Moo Cool gave his patent smile. (to be continued …)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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Kartika wants to become a Bollywood hero (satire)

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Monkey business in Uttarakhand - Uttar Pradesh dumping its monkeys in Uttarakhand

Japan to give India her first Bullet Train from Mumbai to Ahmedabad


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Bangladeshi singer Runa Laila to perform in Kolkata to mark Vijay Diwas

Shah Rukh Khan to address alumni of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore


Two men of Syrian origin caught in Geneva with explosives

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USS Zumwalt, largest destroyer ever built, sets out for sea trials