Didi to UP on a selling mission (satire)

Didi was in her chamber and the easel was on one side of the room. The huge glass window showed a view of the Howrah Bridge and the canvas on the easel was still untouched. She wanted to draw a bicycle and a hand – her dilemma was which should she draw first? Should the hand push the bicycle or should the bicycle be controlled by the hand?
‘I think you are worried?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ Didi nodded. ‘I always so many problems on my head and so many worries in my mind.’
‘Did you get a good night’s sleep?’
‘That is no problem. I don’t count sheep but count goats. There are so many of them around.’
‘Are you worried about Shoe Deep and Paposh Pal?’
Both Shoe Deep and Paposh Pal were behind bars. That too away from home. Paposh had tried to avoid the bars by using his acting skills – but did not succeed.
She brushed aside the question.
‘I want to go to Lucknow,’ she said.

‘To attend the rally?’
‘That will come automatically. I want to go with a specific mission.’
‘You mean you want to influence the voters?’
‘I want to spread the message of sweetness. Get it all arranged.’
‘Who will come with you?’
‘Those who make madur, shitalpati and shalpata. These have earned UNESCO recognition and I want to sell them to the people of Lucknow. Along with our unique brand of sweets – the sitabhog and mihidana, the Joynagarer moah, the nalen gurer sandesh. Charter a plane and send them with me.’
‘But where will you put up the stall?’
‘No separate stall. My people will remain in the plane and the items will be sold from the plane which will follow the venue of the rallies. Beginning with Lucknow it will go to Varanasi, Rae Bareilly, and Allahabad etcetera.’
‘And – you will be with them?’
‘Of course. It will give me time to assess the situation in preparation of 2019. And also to pen some more poetry. After all, I too need a break once in a while. ’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Didi upbeat about Christmas tourism (satire)

It was time for another festival and, our Didi knew that she must do something special for those sing Christmas Carols and wait for Santa Claus to come around on his sleigh drawn by Rudolf, the red nosed reindeer.
Dee Wreck was by her side as she watched out of her window overlooking the majestic Howrah Bridge – it was symbolic with the City of Joy with its hand pulled rickshaws.
‘This year let us have the festival on a grand scale,’ Didi said.

‘Yes, I agree with you,’ Dee Wreck agreed. ‘The areas like the Park Street, the New Market and surrounding places are well known. Let us venture beyond these territories.’
‘You mean to cater to the foreign tourists?’ Didi asked.
‘Yes. We already have the Chappal Chopper Service at our disposal,’ Dee Wreck explained. ‘It will take the tourists to watch the sights from up in the air. The tickets will be in dollars.’
‘That is a good idea,’ Didi nodded. Then she turned towards Omit Misra, her financial wizard. He had mastered the art of making money from nowhere and had never failed when there was a need for finance – be it for purchasing bicycles for the schoolgirls or shoes or clothes for the boys.
Or even paying out donation to the sports clubs. Sports are a must for healthy youth and donations to these clubs were a means to the end. Hence, investment in the youth was a stepping stone to becoming a successful leader.
You could always rely on their loyalty.
‘But how will the esteemed foreign tourists enter New Market? How will they enjoy the fragrance of freshly baked cakes?’
Dee Wreck grinned.
‘You can leave it to me,’ he assured. ‘Cakes will be available for sale in the choppers.’
‘Then why don’t you add our unique winter favorites like nalen gurer sandesh, joynagarer moah and kadaishutir kachuri?'
‘Don’t worry – that will also be there. I will make it a package deal. Cost of snacks will be inbuilt into the basic fare.’
‘Let us do it,’ Didi said. ‘Santa Claus will provide an opportunity to the poor bakers and sweetmeat makers to make some more money.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org
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Lord Shiva on the collapse of Burrabazar flyover (satire)

It was just after lunch and Lord Shiva was strolling in front of his cave. That is what Durga always insists – he must do some exercise after meals. Not necessarily the dumb-bells and parallel bars and treadmill but simple walking would also help digestion.
Yes – digestion has become a problem for him. It was not so even fifty years back but, the quality of eatables has gone down – there is adulteration galore. Even the fruits are getting a coat of artificial color to make them look attractive.
Suddenly he heard the noise. It sounded as if something had collapsed somewhere.
He peered into the distance and focused his attention in the general direction of Howrah Bridge – the sound came from that area.

Durga had also come out from her kitchen. Like a true housewife, she loved to spend time in her kitchen.
‘Did you hear that?’ Shiva asked.
‘Yes, I thought it is some explosion.’ ‘But – explosions happen during Diwali. Why now?’
‘May be some victory celebration,’ Durga said.
‘Victory? What victory? India lost the WT20 – what is there to make a noise about?’
‘Could be some election victory,’ Durga said.
‘There is time for that. The results will be declared by middle of May.’
Suddenly Ganesh came out of his cave. He was listening to someone on his mobile phone. Lakshmi was with him – she also was listening on her mobile.
‘What’s the matter?’ Shiva wanted to know.
‘Burrabazar is in trouble,’ Ganesh replied. ‘All the traders are worried – the flyover has collapsed. And – their business is in the doldrums. All of them want my advice. They love me and pray to me every morning and also whenever they are in trouble. They expect me to look after their interests.’
‘OK – fine. They offer you your favorite food daily and you have to stand by them. But why did the flyover collapse?’ ‘That is a mystery that Didi and Moody have to sort out,’ Ganesh said. ‘If you ask me, I think it is all the net result of underhand dealings.’
‘Yes, corruption has gone deep into the system.’ Shiva sighed. ‘Look at me. I am unable to get a tiger skin because tigers are a protected species. So, I have to either get it in the black market or wear make-believe tiger skins. Even the ganja that Bhringi gets for me does not have the kick. I think I’ll have to buy it online.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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