Moody comes face to face with a hijacker in midair (satire)

Moody was off on another of his foreign jaunts and his team of ministers were there at the airport to see him off. Once inside the aircraft, and surrounded by his henchmen and muscle men, he retired to his corner, looked out of the window and watched the ground staff applying finishing touches to the takeoff.
A steward came up with a tray on which was a glass of fresh water. He removed the cover of the glass and stood at attention as Moody picked up the glass, took a sip of pure water and returned the glass.
The purity of the water was certified by the Food and Drinks department.
He now closed his eyes and went over in his mind on what he would do in the course of his visit. Yes, he would ensure meeting NRIs in those places and invite them to return back to India and become a part of his projects. He would also try to influence the leaders to invest in his various drives, especially cleanliness. He will make it a point to extract information on how they keep their surrounding so clean and how their trains are so punctual and how they track down terrorists.

Suddenly his mobile phone rang. It was Sue Sharma on the line.
‘Yes,’ he wanted to know.
‘There has been a hijacking,’ Sue whispered.
‘Any Indians involved?’ Moody asked.
‘So far no news to worry about, but my men are checking up. I’ll keep you informed.’
‘Where did this happen?’
‘In the Middle East. The hijacker wore a suicide vest.’
The aircraft was airborne by now and Moody looked around him. His bodyguards were in their seats and in the yoga mood – they had their eyes closed and were breathing in and out and he could see their chests moving rhythmically.
Moody was happy – everything was going like clockwork.
Suddenly a woman came up to him and Moody was surprised. Except for a few of his ministers like Sue Sharma, Emma Melaney, Uma-ji and Ranee-ji, he tried to avoid coming in close contact with members of the opposite sex.
She smiled at him and sat on one of the empty seats. Moody could see the skirt ride over her knees and he turned his glance away. He was annoyed – his bodyguards should not have allowed her to come into his private area.
‘Hi,’ the girl greeted him. ‘Don’t look at me like that. I’ll not harm you if you listen to me.’
She was speaking in a low tome, just above the whisper.
Moody tried to ignore her.
‘Look at me,’ she said and removed her pullover. Beneath was what looked like a special vest. She now leaned over and smiled. ‘This is a suicide vest I am wearing. I plan to hijack your plane and I want you to help me.’
Moody was sweating by now. He suddenly found that he had lost is voice. He wanted to call out to his bodyguards but they were still in the yoga trance. He tried to get up from his seat but lost his balance – and discovered that he was alone in his cubicle. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Lord Shiva was deep in thought and Durga noticed the expression on his face and knew that he was intrigued by something – she had to find out what it was.
‘Did you sleep well?’ she asked.
The Lord grunted something and nodded his head.
‘Was the ganja not up to the mark?’ she asked the next question. ‘Did Bhringi give you stale ganja?’
‘No, it is not that. I am seeing the writing on the walls and am worried.’
‘What writing? Which wall?’
‘All the walls are crowded with colorful writings – artists are toiling day and night to display their artistic skills.’
‘It’s all a part of their Skill India initiative,’ Durga explained. ‘This is election time and West Bengal is probably the only state in the country where people let loose their imagination through beautiful slogans and equally beautiful wall paintings and writings.’
Yes,’ Saraswati joined the conversation. ‘Come election time, the walls become public property and artists descend with their buckets of paints and scores of brushes to make mincemeat out of political party leaders.

‘How are the artists faring?’
‘These boys and girls are experts with their brushes and also have a flair for playing with words,’ Saraswati said. ‘They can dream up rhymes that will leave you spellbound.’
‘That is the trouble with Bengalis,’ Durga sighed. ‘They are poets and artists at heart. It has been going on for ages and has become an integral part of their culture. That is why they are not interested in industries.’
‘Yes,’ Ganesh had also joined the group. ‘Even if industries did come to Bengal, the boys may not want to join them as employees. You can take a horse to the pond but you cannot force it to drink water.’
‘If you ask me, I’ll say let them be happy with their poetry and dreams,’ Saraswati said. ‘Heavy industries need strong and sturdy men. These boys would be misfits. That is why they should explore possibilities of pursing other industries.’
‘Wall paintings during election time is a tradition that has been going on for ages,’ Durga said. ‘I see it as a vent for pent up passions and anger that are released via artistic mediums like paintings and rhymes.’
‘Intellectuals may swear by poems that do not believe in rhymes, but, when it comes to slogans, rhymes are a must,’ Saraswati now said. ‘Otherwise, how can one express ones innermost thoughts and take swipes at the position?’
‘Anyway – the writing on the walls add to the excitement of elections,’ Durga went on. ‘The artists have to think out the words – they must be specific, humorous and must drive home the point. The words must leave a deep mark and must be selected with care so that they can form attractive jingles and slogans.’
‘But – these jobs are not full time jobs,’ Lord Shiva was puzzled. ‘What do they do for a living?’
‘They do odd jobs,’ Ganesh replied. ‘They have their own syndicates.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Moody realizes that it takes two to tango (satire)

The newspapers were full of it and the video had gone viral on the net – it showed Uncle Sam doing the tango while on a visit to a distant land. It was a shock to not only Moody but to all his colleagues because all of them belonged to a very conservative group where such casual relationships are just not accepted.
Moody kept aside the newspaper and reached for his intercom but the hot line rang and he was all attention. Think of the devil and he was on the line!
‘Hullo,’ he greeted his caller.
‘Hey man, I was just wondering if you have ever done the tango,’ it was Uncle Sam himself at the other end.
‘Tango?' Moody asked. ‘I know about mango – but, what is this tango?’
‘It is a form of dance,’ Uncle Sam said. ‘And – it takes two to tango.’
‘You mean it is not like those dance forms where one dancer can keep a hall-full of audience spellbound for hours like our Emma Melaney?’
‘No – tango is not a one man or one woman show. And – the partner need not be related.’

Moody cleared his throat. He was on a sticky wicket and did not want to stumble. Wherever he had gone, he had faced quizzical glances from people around him and skillfully avoided the silent question that must have made them suppress giggles.
‘Our culture is different to yours,’ he said.
‘But – when I see your movies, I get a feeling that our cultures overlap at times.’
‘The world of movies is a different kettle of fish,’ Moody tried to laugh away the uneasy feeling. ‘It is all about cultivating the global community – that is where the dollars come from.’
‘Good to know that you also have a weakness for dollars,’ Uncle Sam said. ‘Anyway – I did not ring up for that. I just want to know whether you have conducted family get-togethers for members of your ministry.’
‘Why do you ask such a question?’
‘Because I have heard that your people have a strong family feeling – and, with this festival of colors called Holi, families meet and throw water and color and drink some sort of concoction that plays havoc with their senses. The women and girls romp about in wet clothes that cling to their bodies. And, then, no one really knows what finally happens and who teams up with whom.’
‘I think you are ill informed,’ Moody said.
‘Aw – cummon man, let’s face it. There is nothing really wrong with tango. It is a means to let your hair down, to get rid of tensions. Once you try it out you will feel the difference.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

Moody gets a call from Uncle Sam and takes a trip to Mars (satire)

Narad queers the pitch for Didi & Co (satire)


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A 1939 Japanese Lilliput robot and Flash Gordon spaceship up for auction

Gujarat Police learn the finer points of crime from hardened criminals


Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'


Clash between people of a Roma settlement of Tula and Russian riot police

President Obama imposes tough sanctions on North Korea

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Doctor’s advice to Didi – walking is good for health (satire)

Didi has, of late, taken to walking. Her physician has said walking is a wonderful way to build stamina and, when a leader has to keep talking to convince the electorate, a simple exercise like walking can play a very important role.
‘How many roads have I traveled so far?’ Didi asked Moo Cool.
‘You have walked at least five kilometers every day for the last ten days.’
‘And how much have I covered?’
‘Quite a lot of territory,’ Moo Cool said. ‘You have really proved the point that walking is good for health. It gives additional stamina and power to shout down the opposition.’

‘Opposition? Where is the opposition?’ Patro asked. He was another of her close aides. ‘They can try to dislodge you but cannot succeed. That is why they have begun the mudslinging mission and their sting activities.’
‘We ignore such things. Anyway - what is the route you have selected today?’ she asked Patro.
‘We’ll begin from here and walk down to the Dorina Crossing.’
‘Good – but, you must select a time that will not disturb the traffic.’
‘Don’t worry, the police will take care of that aspect. They know exactly how to go about it. They have done it earlier also and it is not new to them.’
‘I don’t want school children to get caught in my walks.’
‘There are no schools in your route, you can rest assured.’
‘Fine. Now – who will be in the front line with me?’
‘I’ll be there,’ Moo Cool said. ‘And I know Patro Chatto will also be there and Omit Misra, Fear Had, Dee Wreck, Show Van, and Abhi Shake.’
‘And – what about the crowd?’
‘That is no problem. Whoever joins will get free lunch of fish curry and rice – machh bhaat.’
‘Add a cold drink also,’ Didi said. ‘There is a party who wants to market his lebur jal – he will gladly sponsor it. It will be a refreshing innovation. I bet no one else would have thought about it. Lebur jal in this summer heat will be an added attraction. By the way - what about Arra Bull and Money Rule? I hope they will be in the walk.’
‘I have given them the task of bringing in the crowds,’ Patro explained. ‘They have tremendous convincing powers and can bring truckloads within no time.’
‘I know,’ Didi said. ‘They are also useful members. OK then, let us get ready for our walk.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

Moody gets a call from Uncle Sam and takes a trip to Mars (satire)

Narad queers the pitch for Didi & Co (satire)


Budget airline from Dubai crashes during landing in Russia - 62 killed

A 1939 Japanese Lilliput robot and Flash Gordon spaceship up for auction

Gujarat Police learn the finer points of crime from hardened criminals


Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'


Clash between people of a Roma settlement of Tula and Russian riot police

President Obama imposes tough sanctions on North Korea

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Where is my Swatchh Bharat asks Moody (satire)

Moody and his cronies were in a closed door meeting – these meetings are quite common affair but, there is always a veil of secrecy surrounding such meetings and there are strict orders to the media to show a standard video footage where an invariably serious Moody is seen walking in the company of those he trusts most.
This meeting was a very important one because even after 22-months, his programs were not running as he would have wanted to.
‘I hear there is not enough water in many states,’ he looked at Banka Nadoo.
‘You have heard right,’ Banka nodded. ‘It is a perennial problem. People have got used to it.’
‘But non availability of water would spoil the charm of our Swatchh Bharat mission.’

‘The blame lies with the weather,’ Banka replied.
‘Yes,’ Uma-ji supported Banka Nadoo. ‘I am struggling with by huge amount of water and the sudden rains in the mountains are throwing my plans out of gear.’
‘What about our plan to link the rivers?’ Moody looked at Rajiv Rowdy. ‘I thought you would have developed some skills by now in all spheres.’
‘My learning process is on,’ Rajiv flashed his smile. ‘Our engineers are drawing up plans to join the rivers but there are hindrances.’
‘Hindrances?’
‘Yes – there is a body known as the Green body,’ Rajiv explained. ‘They want guarantees for a whole lot of areas like whether floods and droughts will really vanish. Presuming that floods would really vanish, they want us to spell out the disposal action for all the helicopters in the inventory and that are used to carry out aerial surveys of flood affected areas.’
‘That is a good thinking,’ Moody appreciated and looked at Banka. ‘We can constitute a committee to study this in detail.’
‘Yes,’ Banka agreed.
‘By the way, how are the toilets coming up?’
‘My trains will be totally transformed,’ Soo Race Babu said. ‘It will all be converted to bio toilets. No mess anywhere, the train tracks will be clean. My boys are studying with experts of foreign countries on whether we can bring it in the ambit of ‘Make in India’. I have sent teams abroad.’
‘What about public toilets and toilets in schools for girls?’
‘I have added a chapter in all social science books on hygiene,’ Ranee-ji said. ‘It is a compulsory subject and girls are loving the images of toilets in foreign countries. That exposure will make them change their mindsets. I have also asked my ministry to create videos to highlight the advantages of bio toilets and vacuum how to use them.’
‘Wonderful, they will learn to appreciate our efforts,’ Uma-ji added. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

Moody gets a call from Uncle Sam and takes a trip to Mars (satire)

Narad queers the pitch for Didi & Co (satire)


Budget airline from Dubai crashes during landing in Russia - 62 killed

A 1939 Japanese Lilliput robot and Flash Gordon spaceship up for auction

Gujarat Police learn the finer points of crime from hardened criminals


Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'


Clash between people of a Roma settlement of Tula and Russian riot police

President Obama imposes tough sanctions on North Korea

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Didi has come up from the ranks and knows just how to win friends and influence people. Believe it or not, she could have been a strong challenger to Dale Carnegie because she has her methods that she has perfected over a period of time.
Her main weapon is surprise – no one can foretell what is going in her mind.
That is why Moo Cool was always wary of her.
‘What are you doing with those forces that have landed up?’ she asked him.
‘They are new here,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They are looking around.’
‘For what?’
‘Needles in the haystacks,’ Moo Col replied with a straight face.
‘Have you seen to their comfort?’
‘Yes,’ Arra Bull said. ‘We have provided them with mosquito repellant creams.’
‘What about their accommodation?’
‘We have requisitioned some schools,’ Patro Chatto said.
‘And food?’

‘Well – their diets are different to ours,’ Money Rule said. ‘Many of them do not eat fish or rosogollas. But – our cooks are ensuring that they get what they want.’
‘Keep them well fed. I don’t want them to complain about these minor irritants like food, accommodation etcetera.’
‘Don’t worry, my boys are taking full care of them,’ Moo Cool said.
‘What about their patrolling duties?’
‘They have made a routine to go around in the mornings and evenings. No trouble so far.’
‘Good – maintain a good rapport with them. But – what about the officers from various parts of the country who have been sent here?’
‘They are also fully comfortable,’ it was now the turn of Dee Wreck.
‘Remember - they need to be kept in good humor.’
‘We had arranged special passes to watch the T20 match,’ Moo Cool explained. ‘And – there were special screenings of the latest movies released.’
‘Have you not suggested that they go marketing?’
‘Yes. My boys have arranged for that,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘After all, we have plenty to offer in the form of handicrafts plus wide range of sarees. They have heard about these and, now, they have seen them and are impressed.’
‘It is up to you to keep them happy. They should not interfere too much in our workings. They have a duty to perform, let them do it. They want to transfer my police officers – fine. They have to show their work to their higher ups. But – let them know the boundaries and not overstep.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Moo Cool assured. ‘They will not create trouble. When D-day comes, they may not be in the station. They could go to visit relatives or fall sick. Anything can happen – so keep your fingers crossed.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva does the treadmill as Sarasawti advises students (satire)

Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Didi announces holiday for Maha Shivratri (satire)


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Russia to train five dolphins for its underwater combat fleet

Iran gets ready to launch its Somorgh missile into outer space

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Moody gets a call from Uncle Sam and takes a trip to Mars (satire)

It was a long time that Moody had not gone abroad and, therefore, he was wondering if the world had forgotten all about him. He remembered the famous saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ and shook his head. No – he did not want the world to forget him. He had made a name for himself within a very short time knew that he held all the aces.
It was at this moment that his phone rang – it was the direct hotline with Uncle Sam.
‘Hi there,’ Uncle Sam wished him. ‘How are things out there?’
‘Fine,’ Moody said. ‘Everything is just fine. How about you? And, your retirement plans?’
‘It’s all taken care of. Tell me – I heard that you are getting waxing done.’
Moody laughed.
‘It is all for a good cause,’ he explained. ‘They want me in the company of celebrities and, I just cannot refuse them.’

‘You are lucky. You have blazed a trail like no other. With so many selfies to your credit, and so many millions of followers on Twitter, you have an identity. I have a suggestion.’
‘Go ahead, I am all ears.’
‘I think you have plans to send a satellite to Mars?’
‘Of course. My men have the capability. Remember – we have invented the flying machine long before the Wright Brothers. The Demon King Ravana used it to kidnap our beloved Sita-mata.’
‘Yes, I know all about that. Only – it has not been recorded properly in the annals of history. Anyway – what is latest about your Mangalyaan?’
‘It is working fine. You said you wanted to put forth a suggestion?’
‘Yes. I just want to know what items you will send to Mars in the first lot.’
‘My technical team is on the job. I hate to interfere in their workings.’
‘But – you must have given them some broad guidelines.’
‘Of course. Our first batch of items would include ayurvedic roots, barks of medicinal trees, CDs of yoga practices. These would be invaluable to the first batch of Indian astronauts who will land on the Red Planet Mars.’
‘You mean your men would depend on yoga and roots to survive on the distant planet?’
‘Why not? Our sages used to sit under trees and meditate for years. The journey to Mars would be no problem.’
‘What about space suits and zero gravity? How’ll your boys overcome that?’
‘Yoga my friend is the solution. Baba Someday is already on the job training the future astronauts. In a secret cave in the Himalayas he is busy on Mission Mars.’
‘Happy dreams,’ Uncle Sam rang off, Moody woke up with a start and rubbed his eyes. Then he reached for his intercom. He must get the latest on Mangalyaan. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva does the treadmill as Sarasawti advises students (satire)

Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Didi announces holiday for Maha Shivratri (satire)


Jaipur Railway Station goes solar - will mean annual savings of Rs 7.2 lakh on power bills

Alphonso mango, the King of Fruits, make its appearance in Mumbai

Legalise cannabis and pick up £1bn a year in taxes


Tila Tequila evicted from Celebrity Big Brother because of her praise of Hitler

West Bengal tourism to ride piggy-back on Amitabh Bachhan starrer 'Te3n'

‘Heidi’ based on the children’s novel of 1881 becoming a movie from Hollywood


Russia to train five dolphins for its underwater combat fleet

Iran gets ready to launch its Somorgh missile into outer space

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

A single video derails Didi’s poll campaign (satire)

Today’s world is too fast paced for comfort and, with video enabled Smartphones in practically every pocket, the world is flooded with videos of a wide variety from monkeys jumping the hoop to politicians getting caught in dangerous loops.
That is how a single video has derailed what should have been a smooth poll campaign.
And, Didi was not at all happy. She is known for her high level of honesty and, therefore, when she first saw it, she just could not believe her eyes. How can her trusted companions pull the rug from under her feet?
She immediately rang up Patro Chatto.
‘What is the latest?’ she asked.
‘There is utter confusion,’ Patro said.
‘The opposition must be happy at this video,’ she commented.
‘Don’t you worry,’ Patro assured. ‘It is acting as a diversion. Every party is trying to take credit in trying to discredit us but, they can never succeed. We have our Money Rule, Arra Bull and Anu Mandel.’

Didi sighed. She had faith in Patro Chatto and Omit Misra but she could sense some uneasiness in Patro’s assurances. So, she rang up to Omit Misra.
‘Omit-babu, how is your balance sheet shaping up?’ she asked.
‘The task of balancing is a tough one,’ he admitted. ‘Even more difficult than that of an acrobat on the rope.’
Didi was getting in a panic. In desperation, she now rang up Moody in Delhi.
But – he was busy with his Tussauds waxworks. He was excited like a child with a new toy. There were photographers all over his office with his PRO man in tow along with his fashion designer. They were arguing as to what dress would be most appropriate for the wax display. They had to keep in mind the latest modification from above – no half pant. Half pant does not look good in the international arena. Will khadi send out the right signal or should it be the gold embroidered one?
Failing to contact Moody, our Didi, therefore, tried to get in touch with Jet Lee.
She knew that Jet Lee will come up with a solution – but, he was in a holiday mood. There was a long weekend ahead with Holi and Easter and he had planned for a short trip away from the madding crowd. It seems he had not confided to even his close circle of friends about where he was going.
Didi sighed and looked out of the window. She was in the north for her campaign and looked out of her window at the mountains - they were laughing. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva does the treadmill as Sarasawti advises students (satire)

Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Didi announces holiday for Maha Shivratri (satire)


Jaipur Railway Station goes solar - will mean annual savings of Rs 7.2 lakh on power bills

Alphonso mango, the King of Fruits, make its appearance in Mumbai

Legalise cannabis and pick up £1bn a year in taxes


Tila Tequila evicted from Celebrity Big Brother because of her praise of Hitler

West Bengal tourism to ride piggy-back on Amitabh Bachhan starrer 'Te3n'

‘Heidi’ based on the children’s novel of 1881 becoming a movie from Hollywood


Russia to train five dolphins for its underwater combat fleet

Iran gets ready to launch its Somorgh missile into outer space

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Narad queers the pitch for Didi & Co (satire)

Narad came like a bolt from the blue and caught Didi and her band of trusted followers by unawares – Narad is known to create rift between the Gods and Goddesses in Heaven and his sudden appearance took everyone by surprise.
It was election time and Didi had built up the tempo but, suddenly, she had to change tracks.
Instead of proceeding with the rallies that were meant to generate mass contact and spread a feeling of ‘all-is-well’, Didi had to apply the brakes and recast her strategies.
She first rang up Moo Cool, her man of all seasons.
‘What is this I saw on TV about Narad?’ she asked.

‘I also heard about it,’ Moo Cool said. ‘It is a ploy of the opposition to derail our smooth functioning. They are in tatters and are clutching at every straw.’
‘Narad means a troublemaker,’ Didi murmured. ‘He goes about strumming his harp and creating problems. He loves to pit one against another.’
‘Yes,’ Moo Cool agreed. ‘It seems he has a nearly one-hour video that shows our members accepting wads of notes. Some of them even hid the notes in a towel.’
‘They have revealed some names?’
‘Yes.’
‘Ask them not to open their mouth to the media.’
‘Yes.’
‘And, I want to now full details about this Narad character.’
‘Dee Wreck is already on the job.’
‘Good. Let him get cracking on the social media and locate the brains behind the sting operation.’
‘Do you think this is a tactic of Moody & Co to counter your threats?’
‘Could be,’ Didi said. ‘Actually, one of his men disclosed the CD to the media. Moody could have engineered this just to disturb our campaigns. He wants to create a diversion. He knows that our attention would get diverted and disturbed as we try to prove our innocence.’
‘But – we are innocent.’
‘I am aware of that,’ Didi said. ‘But, the world is full on non-believers. I sold my paintings for crores of rupees and nobody believed. Still I am in power.’
‘You mean the cloud will pass?’
‘There is no cloud,’ Didi assured. ‘We have shown the world what we can do. Our cottage industries are flourishing, our tourist hubs are waking up thanks to promotion videos by Bollywood stars, our youth have their screen idols in Parliament, our cricketers and footballers walk shoulder to shoulder. Narad cannot waylay our plans.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Lord Shiva does the treadmill as Sarasawti advises students (satire)

Moody & Co to invite Eskimos for the Yoga meet (satire)

Didi announces holiday for Maha Shivratri (satire)


Jaipur Railway Station goes solar - will mean annual savings of Rs 7.2 lakh on power bills

Alphonso mango, the King of Fruits, make its appearance in Mumbai

Legalise cannabis and pick up £1bn a year in taxes


Tila Tequila evicted from Celebrity Big Brother because of her praise of Hitler

West Bengal tourism to ride piggy-back on Amitabh Bachhan starrer 'Te3n'

‘Heidi’ based on the children’s novel of 1881 becoming a movie from Hollywood


Russia to train five dolphins for its underwater combat fleet

Iran gets ready to launch its Somorgh missile into outer space

Mastermind of Paris terror attacks entered Britain through Dover easily

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Moody was on cloud nine – Parliament was in session and, orator that he is and egged on by his own men, he was able to talk down all sections of the opposition.
He now wanted to assess the progress on his pet projects that were to have brought in a sea change in the mindset of his people. Hence his dream projects ‘Skill India’, ‘Digital India’, ‘Swatchh Bharat’, and ‘Namami Gange’.
His backend boys had done a fantastic job by coining sets of words which are impressive no doubt but, how effective were they?
He had called in Banka Nadoo, one of his ministers who is associated with the ‘Swatchh Bharat’ project to get the low down on the latest status.
Moody moved aside the papers on his table and looked at Banka Nadoo.
‘You have already declared the first list of Smart Cities, right?’
‘Yes,’ Banka Nadoo said. ‘The next will also be announced on time.’
‘I believe that our schools now have sufficient toilets?’

Banka Nadoo nodded – actually, he himself was in the dark about how many toilets have sprouted up and who had made them. There was too much overlap of responsibilities. Some of these were to be built by respective municipalities, others by corporate houses.
‘Tell me, we have released a number of animation ads to spread the message of cleanliness. How is the response?’
‘The ads are impressive,’ Banka Nadoo said.
‘How effective are they? Have the children realized that they must wash their hands before taking food?’
‘Yes,’ Banka Nadoo said. ‘Ranee-ji’s ministry has added a compulsory chapter on hand washing in all books. It is made compulsory also.’
‘Good. Have we made enough provision of supplying water?’
‘Water will be no problem. Already we have started action on cleaning the Ganga. Uma-ji is on the job and once Namami Gange is ready, there will be an abundance of water.’
‘Fine,’ Moody appeared to be satisfied. ‘Now you must rope in all the soap companies and ensure that every child gets a monthly quota of soap free of cost to clean their hands before taking food.’
‘But – the soap companies would need some incentive,’ Banka Nadoo said.
‘Talk to our finance men, they will find out some way to compensate them,’ Moody said. ‘We must always keep the health of the Nation uppermost in our mind. The child is the father of the man and its health is our responsibility. I will talk on this subject in my next Monkey Baat.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

Lord Shiva knew that he was old-fashioned. Watching the antics of people on innumerable TV channels, he had realized that he was out of sync with the world of today. In his cave in Mount Kailash, he had for company his small family and a number of attendants. But, in his heart of hearts, he wanted to be the King of good times and live life King size.
‘I think you are worried,’ Durga broke the silence. ‘Want to share your thoughts?’
‘I was watching the antics of this character who believes that he is the King of good times. He has an impressive personality but, I feel sorry for him.’
‘The world is full of such characters,’ Durga said. ‘Remember that other guy who minted millions from the cricket field.’
‘Yes. He also lived life King-size – he had his own plane. Like this new gentleman. I believe he owns an airline and loves to have calendars with photos of selected beauties.’

‘That is not new’ Durga pouted her lips. ‘Here in our world also we have many apsaras like Rambha and Menoka and there is always a rush to win them over. It is human nature. You should not read much into these alliances.’
‘Alliances?’
‘Yes, it keeps happening in the tinsel world. The heroes keep changing their wives. It seems they just are not satisfied with what they get.’
‘I see,’ Shiva muttered. ‘That is why they have coined that phrase ‘yeh dil maange more’ - applicable from cold drinks to cold wife!’
‘Believe it or not, cricket is a great equalizer – it is a wonderful fixing agent,’ Durga said. ‘It brings people close so that everyone can enjoy the good times.’
‘Then why should the ringleaders try to go into hiding?’
‘That happens when you bite more than you can chew.’
‘And – those who were once with you feel cheated and embarrassed and try to wriggle out of partnerships.'
‘But, they’ll keep coming back in one form or the other, Durga reminded. ‘They are the descendants of the Asuras – they are masters of disguise and keep changing their forms to fool the people. They are always up to some trick or the other and cannot be taken at face value. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi knows that ghosts have their uses (satire)

‘Make in India’ concept to market Ganga water (satire)

Moody throws light on conversion and smartness (satire)


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Quantum jump for Priyanka Chopra from Quantico to Baywatch

Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

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Didi draws up her latest strategy (satire)

Didi was closeted with her confidantes Moo Cool, Dee Wreck, Abhi Shake and Omit Misra – she had a map spread out on her table and was deep in thought. Her men seated in front of her munched the piping hot singaras as they sipped on the tea. It is the custom of Bengalis to entertain anyone who drops in with some eatables – that not only changes the atmosphere but also helps to improve communication and conversation.
‘What does the scenario look like?’ Didi asked nobody in particular.
‘The opposition is in total disarray,’ Moo Cool spoke.
‘There are talks about alliances,’ Didi mused. ‘How is that shaping up?’
‘It’s all a pipe dream,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘I have already mentioned that the proposed alliance is like the water melon – green skin with red stuff inside.’

‘You forgot about the black seeds,’ Abhi Shake added.
‘Omit-ji,’ Didi now looked at the wizened old man, ‘how do you assess the situation?’
‘Well – if you mean finance, another batch of your paintings would be a great idea,’ the Finance wizard said. He was a wizard probably better than the wizard of Hogwarts because he had been able to generate enough finance to meet all the sudden requirements of the supremo. How he did it is his secret.
‘I know,’ Didi agreed. ‘But, of late, I am not able to concentrate on my canvases. There has been too much disturbance.’
‘May I suggest exploiting the potentials of your pen?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Auction your books as sets. Auction invariably brings in more than the cover price because it is a game of one-upmanship. Everyone wants to outbid the other and pushes up the net worth.’
‘That’s a god idea,’ Didi was pleased.
‘You have made a name for yourself in the world of fine arts with not only your canvases but also your books,’ Omit went on. ‘They have sold off like hot samosas in the Book Fairs and are bound to make booklovers pine for more and more. The proceeds from the sales would certainly augment our resources.’
‘I think Dee Wreck can set the ball rolling,’ Moo Cool suggested. ‘He can drop a hint on the popular social networking sites and announce the idea. Get the global community interested and then launch the online auction. The dollars would pour in and it would be a first in the history of politics.’
‘I think we can go in for another round of singara and chai,’ Abhi Shake said. ‘Such brain storming sessions need regular doses of energy.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

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‘Make in India’ concept to market Ganga water (satire)

Moody throws light on conversion and smartness (satire)


Loss of bees and butterflies is disturbing the ecological balance

Madhya Pradesh to promote tiger tourism

China wants to fight terrorism in Xinjiang with entertainment, singing and dancing


Quantum jump for Priyanka Chopra from Quantico to Baywatch

Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

British actor Tom Hardy could become the new face of James Bond after Daniel Craig


Airstrikes in Syria target schools and hospitals - nearly 50 children killed

F-22 Stealth Bombers of the US fly low over South Korea skies

North Korea plans to carry out terror attacks on South Korea

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)

It was spring time and sudden bursts of rain does dampen the spirits, especially the festivals like Shivaratri. It has gone out of fashion and everyone treats it just another day to enjoy.
Durga had been observing her husband from a distance and could guess that there was something on his mind. So, she sidled up to him.
‘What’s bothering you now?’ she asked.
‘Shivaratri is approaching and there is not much noise,’ Shiva murmured. ‘Why such a lack of seriousness?’
‘It is the social media,’ Durga explained.

‘Why do you all blame the social media for all evils?’
‘Because they have taken control of everyone’s lives.’
‘But what has that got to do with Shivaratri?’
‘Plenty,’ Durga said and occupied the hillock next to her husband.
‘Please clarify,’ Shiva leaned on his trishul (trident) and said.
‘You see in the good old days, Shivaratri was a must for all girls – at least till their marriage. Because every girl wanted to get a husband like Lord Shiva.’
‘Really? What is so special about him?’
‘Everything,’ Durga smiled. ‘He is a non-interfering individual and loves to roam about in his own dream world where he keeps aloof from the day to day problems. His demands are minimum and he is easy to satisfy.’
‘I see,’ Shiva sighed. ‘You mean I was their idol. They worshipped me in the fond hope of bagging a husband like me and I have ceased to be an idol.’
‘Sort of,’ Durga said. ‘Today they have a new concept. They do not wait for their perfect man to come along but searches on the net and zeroes in on him. Thanks to FB, there is no shortage of eligible men.’
‘FB? What is that?’
‘It is Face Book – a book in cyberspace where millions of girls are on the lookout for their dream boy to come along. They don’t ride bulls as you do but they zoom about on the latest motorcycles.’
‘And, their parents have no role to play?’
‘Well – they enter the scene at the last moment to finance the celebrations and be a part of the photo ops.’
‘Hmm – then what do they do on Shivaratri? Don’t they remain awake all night and fast?’
‘No - to them it is just another holiday. And, nights are for chatting. With packets of chips. Fasting is old-fashioned.’
‘Chatting? Why they have to chat at night?’
‘My dear hubby, the mobile phone rates at night are low and they take advantage of that.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi knows that ghosts have their uses (satire)

‘Make in India’ concept to market Ganga water (satire)

Moody throws light on conversion and smartness (satire)


Loss of bees and butterflies is disturbing the ecological balance

Madhya Pradesh to promote tiger tourism

China wants to fight terrorism in Xinjiang with entertainment, singing and dancing


Quantum jump for Priyanka Chopra from Quantico to Baywatch

Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

British actor Tom Hardy could become the new face of James Bond after Daniel Craig


Airstrikes in Syria target schools and hospitals - nearly 50 children killed

F-22 Stealth Bombers of the US fly low over South Korea skies

North Korea plans to carry out terror attacks on South Korea

Didi & Co wants 294 out of 294 (satire)

It was a really hectic day for Didi & Co because the all-important bugle had been sounded and she was ready to release her list. It was a well thought out list and, since her people loved cricket, she was determined to fulfill their wishes and include the glamorous boys and girls of cricket into her scheme of things.
‘How is the list?’ she asked Moo Cool who was with her. He was really indispensable to her and never let her down. The way he performed the drama had earned her respect. No one ever guessed that it was all a part of a well-rehearsed script penned by her backend boys.
‘It is a perfect foil,’ Moo Cool said and looked at the others seated around Didi. ‘Don’t you think that the list of a masterpiece?’
‘Of course,’ Dee Wreck agreed as did Omit Misra, Show Van, Patro Chatto, Abhi Shake and the gasng of Arra Bull and Money Rule.
They were all there because they had to emerge winners once again.

‘As you must have seen, there are a few new faces,’ Didi said. ‘I have faith in their abilities and know that they will draw the crowds not only in the meetings but also at the hustings.’
‘But – they are new to the game,’ Omit Misra obviously had reservations.
Didi smiled.
‘Everyone has to make a start at some time,’ she said. ‘And – they have the star value. We have so many of them with us – they have their usefulness.’
‘Yes, you are right,’ Moo Cool spoke. ‘They have a fan following and hence can sway public opinion which is our objective.’
‘What about Mudden Misra?’ Omit Misra asked. ‘He is still not well and in jail. How can he attend meetings and hold rallies?’
‘Don’t worry,’ Didi assured, ‘the best doctors are attending to him and I am certain that he will be fully fit soon.’
‘By the way,’ Didi now turned to Dee Wreck, ‘how is the seat sharing business progressing in the other camp?’
‘They are keeping everything secret,’ Dee Wreck replied. ‘I am watching developments but the new character that has suddenly entered the scene could be a problem.’
‘Use your social networking skills and nip it in the bud,’ Didi said.
‘That is what many others are trying to do,’ Dee Wreck said.
‘I want you to beat them to the punch,’ Didi was serious. ‘You know our target?’
‘Yes – 294,’ Dee Wreck and the others spoke in unison.
‘Remember - it must be a clean sweep,’ Didi said. ‘How you do it is your problem but that is my plan and I don’t like failures.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi knows that ghosts have their uses (satire)

‘Make in India’ concept to market Ganga water (satire)

Moody throws light on conversion and smartness (satire)


Loss of bees and butterflies is disturbing the ecological balance

Madhya Pradesh to promote tiger tourism

China wants to fight terrorism in Xinjiang with entertainment, singing and dancing


Quantum jump for Priyanka Chopra from Quantico to Baywatch

Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

British actor Tom Hardy could become the new face of James Bond after Daniel Craig


Airstrikes in Syria target schools and hospitals - nearly 50 children killed

F-22 Stealth Bombers of the US fly low over South Korea skies

North Korea plans to carry out terror attacks on South Korea

Moody wants to see smiling faces all around (satire)

It was a tough job to tackle growing menace of people who should keep their mouths shut but, no matter how he reacted, Moody discovered that there will always be people who spew venom and he had to rein in such rowdy elements. That was his agenda of the day and, in order to assist him in his exercise, he had with him the brains - on top of the list were his trusted lieutenants Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Banka Nadoo, Nitty Gadcurry and Rajanna King.
‘I pity the young man,’ Moody chuckled to himself. ‘He should know that little knowledge is a dangerous thing.’
‘It is a result of faulty upbringing,’ Banka Nadoo said. ‘Empty vessels make most sound.’
‘Yes,’ Sue Sharma agreed. ‘I felt pity for the kid. He was tying himself up into knots.’

‘Of course he had a purpose,’ Jet Lee sounded serious. ‘He was, no doubt, playing to the galleries but the galleries were empty. He is moving ahead. He has changed over time and will be fun to play around with.’
Moody looked at Rajanna King who was playing the role of a silent spectator.
‘What is your opinion?’ Moody asked him directly.
‘We should take a proper decision,’ he said.’ We must not rush into anything. It may boomerang as we have seen with that other kid.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Moody was calm. ‘That is a passing phase. Our people are there and they know how to tackle such situations. Youngsters will shout their heads off and we, as seniors, can keep a watch on developments. Talking about developments – where has your river linking project come Gadcurry-ji?’
‘Actually Uma-ji is deep into her Ganga cleaning activities and I am waiting for her feedback on how deep the water is. Once I get that feedback, I will plan my routes. Varanasi will, of course, be in the center of activities.’
“And – center of attraction,’ Moody reminded. ‘It will undergo sea change and become a mini Japanese city. Our friends in the land of the rising Sun are excited.’
‘I know,’ Nitty Gadcurry said. ‘Bullet and Varanasi are our trump cards. Folks from behind the bamboo curtain are unhappy but we cannot please everybody, can we?’
‘The black money is a tricky issue,’ Jet Lee admitted. ‘Baba Someday is also unhappy. He had expected that the money would roll in and fill our coffers but, that is not happening.’
Moody became philosophical.
‘We all know that Rome was not built in a day,’ he said. ‘We must have patience. We have many more miles to go. This is not the end of the world. I want to see smiling faces all around me. Let us smile for a selfie.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi knows that ghosts have their uses (satire)

‘Make in India’ concept to market Ganga water (satire)

Moody throws light on conversion and smartness (satire)


Loss of bees and butterflies is disturbing the ecological balance

Madhya Pradesh to promote tiger tourism

China wants to fight terrorism in Xinjiang with entertainment, singing and dancing


Quantum jump for Priyanka Chopra from Quantico to Baywatch

Kissing scenes in movies – why this fad has never caught on in Bollywood

British actor Tom Hardy could become the new face of James Bond after Daniel Craig


Airstrikes in Syria target schools and hospitals - nearly 50 children killed

F-22 Stealth Bombers of the US fly low over South Korea skies

North Korea plans to carry out terror attacks on South Korea