Sunday, January 31, 2016

Moody throws light on conversion and smartness (satire)


#SmartCity Ever since he took over office, Moody has wanted to impress people with his visions and there is no denying the fact that he has succeeded in leaving behind his trademark on whatever he has touched. Including conversion. And, the conversion of a dull, lackluster city to a Smart City is one of his brainwaves.
‘Your plan to create Smart Cities is a smart one,’ Banka Nadoo told Moody who had called him to his office.
‘Good. My plans are always smart ones. Tell me, how have the people accepted the first list of 20 cities destined to become Smart Cities?’ he asked Banka Nadoo.
‘There has been mixed reactions,’ Banka said. ‘In fact, many of them do not know how to go about it.’
‘It is so simple,’ Moody said. ‘Varanasi will show them the way. It is not in the list now but it will soon be as smart and likeable as any Japanese city with kimono clad women on the roads.’
‘There had been ideas floating around of making Mumbai into Shanghai and Kolkata to London. Bit – they never pursued them.’
‘That is why they did not get to first base,’ Moody chuckled. ‘Actually, smartness is in our blood. We want to look smart. The girls go in for skin treatments, they follow the style of their heroines. And – the boys copy their filmi heroes or cricket heroes. Why can’t the cities follow suit and copy another city that boats of smartness.’
‘Pardon me, but I think many of the city fathers have no idea of smart cities.’
‘Can they not go on tours to the cities and gather information firsthand?’
‘They are doing it. One team had recently been to Andaman to study how to control flooding in cities,’ Banka Nadoo elaborated. ‘But, critics have bashed them saying that they have spent taxpayer’s money on a useless mission. It is common knowledge that drains are clogged by plastics and thermocol hence the flooding takes place.’
‘They should have gone to some European country to study how to paint the city walls. That way they would have earned bouquets and not brickbats. Anyway – tell me, how would you go about making your city smart?’
‘I will have only the smart looking men and women on the roads during the day. Others can use the roads at night.’
‘Not bad. What about vehicles?’
‘Same logic – only the smart vehicles will ply in the day. The ramshackle buses and more than 15-year-old vehicles will not see the light of day, they’ll do the night shift.’
‘How about the roadside hawkers? They spoil the beauty of any city. How will you eliminate them from the scenery?’
‘They hawk the goods to earn a living. They cannot be wished away because they are an integral part of our culture.’
‘And slums?’
‘They also are a necessary evil,’ Banka Nadoo replied. ‘We have to bear with them.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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