Didi in jitters – keeps flying in and out of her city (satire)

The whole world was enjoying the year end but not our beloved Didi – she had plenty on her mind. She had been in the saddle for a long time and, try as she might, she just could not convert the foundation stones that she had laid into reality.
She had to find a way out – like shifting to Delhi.
Her trusted lieutenant Moo Cool entered her chamber along with Dee Wreck.
‘I have arranged your flight,’ Moo Cool said.
‘Have you ensured that I would get priority landing at Delhi?’

‘Yes,’ Dee Wreck replied. ‘I have talked to my contacts there.’
‘I don’t want to waste even one minute extra hovering over the airport. My last experience was awful – I wanted to so badly stretch my legs and had to remain cramped up in the seat.’
‘What will be your real agenda?’ Moo Cool asked.
‘I love to keep people guessing,’ she said. ‘I make my own agenda depending on the circumstances. Right now, my mission is to tease the chaiwallah. He is fooling the common man with all sorts of promises.’
‘Yes. He had said that he would transfer huge sums of money into our bank accounts.’
‘He is still searching for the elusive hidden treasure in a fool’s paradise. Once he gets it, he will certainly share the spoils – but, he has to first f1nd them.’
She walked over to the easel and stared at the canvas - yes, she could see bright prospects in Delhi. The opposition parties were in confusion and she could reap the benefits if she played her cards right. Delhi was the solution to her troubles.
As someone has said, everyone has his own axe to grind. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Drone delivers hot food items and cold beverages to customers' homes in the US

18th rhino killed in Kaziranga - this exceeds the figures of last year

Christmas in Delhi - fancy Santa hats from China sell for Rs 400 a piece


Moody in silent mode over black money (satire)

Didi upbeat about Christmas tourism (satire)

Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga discuss swipe machines (satire)


London Police deputes anti-terrorism patrol units under Operation Servator

Australian police foil a IS terror plot targeting Melbourne during Christmas

12 persons killed as truck ploughs into Christmas shoppers in Berlin


Carrie Fisher of Star Wars fame stops breathing on board a non-stop London-Los Angeles flight

Aamir Khan's Dangal expected to cross Rs 100 crore in first weekend

Glastonbury Festival could shift from Somerset to a new location towards the Midlands

Lord Shiva wants winter favorites, Durga raises her hands (satire)

Lord Shiva was sulking. Winter had arrived in Mount Kailash and the Lord wanted to taste the winter favorites like nalen gurer sandesh and joynagarer moah. But, Durga had raised her hands in surrender. The will was there but not the means.
‘I just do not understand why you are refusing,’ he said. ‘Has my blood sugar level gone up?’
‘No,’ Durga replied. ‘It is not that. I know that your BP and blood sugar are in control.’
‘Then why can I not have the sweets?’
‘The basic ingredients required to make the delicacies are not there.’
‘Nonsense. I can see the palm trees and, if the trees are there, the saps also must be there.’

‘Times have changed,’ Durga sighed. ‘People are not there to tap the sap, neither are there dedicated men like Amitabh who can make the delicious gur.’
‘But nalen gur is sold in the shops,’ Shiva said. ‘Who makes them?’
‘There are factories to make gur – it is a part of the resurgence of industries in the state.’
‘I see,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘The old timers are bent with age and the young ones are more interested in moving out to cities to study and look around for jobs. So, whatever little gets created are from factories for sale over the internet to earn dollars, right?’
‘Yes, sort of.’
‘If the youth hanker after jobs, it means there are innumerable jobs in the market?’
‘Of course. Jobs are aplenty – may not be the regular 9 to 5 jobs but some job that pays money. As people say – money is flying in the wind, you must know how to lay hands on them.’
‘What is the nature of these jobs?’
‘One is muscle power – it pays good money so long as he can deliver.’
‘Any other options?’
‘The tinsel world. With so many TV channels, the need for actors is huge. Once he gets a toehold, he wriggles his way in.’
Lord Shiva sighed.
‘Then what about my winter favorites?’
‘I could make some green pea kachuri – I have got ghee made from cow milk and supplied by our Yoga guru. The kachuri fried in pure desi ghee would taste great.’
‘OK,’ Shiva shrugged his shoulders. ‘I’ll go for that.’
Durga smiled.
‘You will then have to shell the peas,’ she said. ‘I am going to watch the next episode of Cooking for Fun.’(to be continued ..)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Drone delivers hot food items and cold beverages to customers' homes in the US

18th rhino killed in Kaziranga - this exceeds the figures of last year

Christmas in Delhi - fancy Santa hats from China sell for Rs 400 a piece


Moody in silent mode over black money (satire)

Didi upbeat about Christmas tourism (satire)

Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga discuss swipe machines (satire)


London Police deputes anti-terrorism patrol units under Operation Servator

Australian police foil a IS terror plot targeting Melbourne during Christmas

12 persons killed as truck ploughs into Christmas shoppers in Berlin


Carrie Fisher of Star Wars fame stops breathing on board a non-stop London-Los Angeles flight

Aamir Khan's Dangal expected to cross Rs 100 crore in first weekend

Glastonbury Festival could shift from Somerset to a new location towards the Midlands

Moody in silent mode over black money (satire)

The ringing of the phone startled Moody. It was Tressa May on the line – she loves the saree - an Indian attire. So, she loves Indians.
‘My dear fellow, I hear that you have lost your sound box. Is it true?’ she asked.
‘Not really,’ Moody spoke softly. ‘It was a passing phase.’
‘Did it have any link to black money? Don’t get me wrong – but, have you bitten off more than you can chew?’
‘No, nothing of the sort. Black money is not a problem. I have stopped all avenues of generating the evil. I have plugged all loopholes.’

‘I see,’ Tressa May lowered her voice. ‘I read in the media that your people are not happy. Business is in the doldrums. How will your vison take shape?’
‘I think you are misinformed,’ Moody was calm as cucumber. ‘I don’t get rattled easily.’
‘I knew as much,’ Tressa said. ‘I have heard you speak. You are a fine orator. Your decibel levels are fantastic.’
‘I have come up from the ranks,’ Moody said. ‘You know I used to sell tea. And, unless you raise your voice, you just cannot survive as a tea seller.’
‘Yes. I have heard about your humble beginnings. It’s all about selling tea clad in half pants.’
‘And with the fifty six inch chest. That is my trademark.’
‘Then why did you maintain such a silence? I know silence is golden but, it depends on the situation. When the opposition bays for your blood, you must growl if not bark.’
‘My dear lady,’ Moody said. ‘The silence was forced upon me.’
‘Any blackmail in the background?’
‘No, no – nothing black can tarnish my image. I have a clean slate.’
‘Then why did you go on the silent mode?’
‘It was black of another kind – related to coal. It is difficult to explain.’
‘Have a try,’ Tressa coaxed him.
‘It was all because of Baba Someday and his Pat & Jolie outfit.’
‘You mean the Yoga guru? He tripped you?’
‘Yes. I had a toothache and he wanted me to try out his latest toothpaste. I paid the price. It was a coal based affair and left a black mark on my teeth. So, I had to keep my mouth closed.’ (to be contd …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Squirrels of Seattle, Boston and Toronto are stealing Christmas light bulbs

Petrol tanker crashes into other vehicles in Kenya - leaves at least 30 dead

Qantas to fly non-stop from Perth to London in 17 and a half hours


Moody and the half pant brigade (satire)

Lord Shiva cracks jokes and Durga fries samosas (satire)

Didi sharpens her weapons to conquer the Hindi belt (satire)


AR Rahman contender for Oscar nomination for Pele: Birth of a Legend

Julia Roberts of 'Pretty Woman' fame to star in her first TV series

Meryl Streep creates history with her 30th Golden Globes nomination


Suicide bomber kills at least 49 people in a military camp in Aden

US estimates that active ISIS fighters in Iraq and Syria have dropped considerably

Syrian forces shoot dead 82 Aleppo civilians in their homes

Didi upbeat about Christmas tourism (satire)

It was time for another festival and, our Didi knew that she must do something special for those sing Christmas Carols and wait for Santa Claus to come around on his sleigh drawn by Rudolf, the red nosed reindeer.
Dee Wreck was by her side as she watched out of her window overlooking the majestic Howrah Bridge – it was symbolic with the City of Joy with its hand pulled rickshaws.
‘This year let us have the festival on a grand scale,’ Didi said.

‘Yes, I agree with you,’ Dee Wreck agreed. ‘The areas like the Park Street, the New Market and surrounding places are well known. Let us venture beyond these territories.’
‘You mean to cater to the foreign tourists?’ Didi asked.
‘Yes. We already have the Chappal Chopper Service at our disposal,’ Dee Wreck explained. ‘It will take the tourists to watch the sights from up in the air. The tickets will be in dollars.’
‘That is a good idea,’ Didi nodded. Then she turned towards Omit Misra, her financial wizard. He had mastered the art of making money from nowhere and had never failed when there was a need for finance – be it for purchasing bicycles for the schoolgirls or shoes or clothes for the boys.
Or even paying out donation to the sports clubs. Sports are a must for healthy youth and donations to these clubs were a means to the end. Hence, investment in the youth was a stepping stone to becoming a successful leader.
You could always rely on their loyalty.
‘But how will the esteemed foreign tourists enter New Market? How will they enjoy the fragrance of freshly baked cakes?’
Dee Wreck grinned.
‘You can leave it to me,’ he assured. ‘Cakes will be available for sale in the choppers.’
‘Then why don’t you add our unique winter favorites like nalen gurer sandesh, joynagarer moah and kadaishutir kachuri?'
‘Don’t worry – that will also be there. I will make it a package deal. Cost of snacks will be inbuilt into the basic fare.’
‘Let us do it,’ Didi said. ‘Santa Claus will provide an opportunity to the poor bakers and sweetmeat makers to make some more money.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org
Use of wild animals banned in 21 circuses in Kolkata

Giraffes may soon vanish from the face of the Earth

Book comes back to the library after 130-years


Moody fires cannons to eliminate mosquitoes (satire)

Fuchka Festival in Kolkata and selfies (satire)

Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga discuss swipe machines (satire)


Beatles Ashram in Rishikesh sees more footfalls of Indians rather than foreigners

Legendary Hollywood actor Kirk Douglas celebrates his 100th birthday

Spider-Man: Homecoming - first trailer released


Two schoolgirls turn suicide bombers and kill 56 in a Nigerian market

All is not well in Europe - 1750 ISIS jihadists have returned to carry out attacks

Anonymous caller threatens terror attack in Los Angeles near a Hollywood theme park

Didi on black money and ‘Notebandi – the Note Bandits’ (satire)

Didi always plays her cards right. She knows just when to strike the red hot iron so that it takes the proper shape. The scrapping of old notes was what she needed – it was a chink in the armor of her opponents – black money continued to remain hidden.
She wanted to drive the wedge in.
‘What do I do now?’ she asked Moo Cool, her closest confidante.
‘Bulldoze,’ he replied.
‘Bulldoze? But bull is related to cattle,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to be associated with any form of cattle. It could send out wrong signals to my dedicated vote bank.’
Moo Cool sighed.

‘I can assure you that your vote bank will remain intact,’ he said. ‘What you must do now is to keep hitting the opposition. They are now at a disadvantage because the common man is still crying. They have money but cannot use it. They are wasting hours in front of ATMs or in bank queues and are even dying. These are your weapons.’
At this point, Dee Wreck joined the discussion.
‘I have studied the present situation,’ he said. ‘I think the time is ripe to launch an attack that will cripple the opposition.’
‘And what is that?’ Didi asked.
‘Bowl them over with your googlies.’
‘How?’
‘There are so many movie stars young and old in our ranks, right?’ Dee Wreck asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And - there is one from Bollywood who also owns a cricket club in our city. They can all be roped in for a special movie titled ‘Notebandi – the Note bandits’. It will be a runway hit.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Moo Cool added. ‘There could be a detective angle with a character like our so popular Boom Cash – the ultimate detective. He could go about hunting for the bandits.’
‘And – it will be in black and white,’ Dee Wreck added. ‘No color.’
‘Why?’ Didi asked.
‘Because its theme will be black. It will have blacks – right from black money, black market, blackout, black cat, black deed, black magic, black flags, blackbird etcetera.’ (to be continued…)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Use of wild animals banned in 21 circuses in Kolkata

Giraffes may soon vanish from the face of the Earth

Book comes back to the library after 130-years


Moody fires cannons to eliminate mosquitoes (satire)

Fuchka Festival in Kolkata and selfies (satire)

Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga discuss swipe machines (satire)


Beatles Ashram in Rishikesh sees more footfalls of Indians rather than foreigners

Legendary Hollywood actor Kirk Douglas celebrates his 100th birthday

Spider-Man: Homecoming - first trailer released


Two schoolgirls turn suicide bombers and kill 56 in a Nigerian market

All is not well in Europe - 1750 ISIS jihadists have returned to carry out attacks

Anonymous caller threatens terror attack in Los Angeles near a Hollywood theme park

Lord Shiva and Goddess Durga discuss swipe machines (satire)

The electronic age has finally caught up with Lord Shiva, Goddess Durga and the whole of Mount Kailash. People are really growing up at last and, in spite of polluted River Ganga and people sitting on railway tracks every morning, they are learning to swipe plastic cards.

‘Did you hear the news?’ Shiva asked Durga.
‘News are always happening,’ Dutga replied. Her eyes were on the TV screen. She was watching in rapt admiration as a woman fried brinjals and, simultaneously, explained the intricate process of how to make the final product attractive. Unless it appealed to her family members, there was no majaa.
‘The lovely tinkle of coins and the feel of crisp bank notes would soon be a thing of the past,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘That is a good idea,’ Durga replied. ‘It will create a healthy society.’
‘What do you mean?’ Shiva was surprised. ‘Do you know how many people have died standing in ATM queues to collect new bank notes? And the tension they suffer from to get change for Rs 2000 notes?’
‘My dear husband, don’t you realize that coins and notes carry germs and spread diseases. They pass from one hand to another and pick up unwanted germs. Is it not a good decision to ban such disease carriers?’
‘Agreed’ Shiva smiled. ‘But – it will put the doctors out of business. And – also the manufacturers of medicines.’
‘They will go in for manufacture of swipe machines,’ Durga said. ‘The market of these machines is growing. Even beggars are keeping these with them. They also have to survive.’
‘I never looked at it in this way,’ Shiva said. ‘It will give a huge boost to the Make in India campaign. But – there is another problem.’
‘What is that?’
‘What’ll happen to the piggy banks where housewives used to store their ill-gotten gains made out of their hubby’s wallets?’
‘They have become obsolete. Wallets today are all electronic wallets.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Make in Odisha conclave attracts investment of more than Rs 22000 crore on first day

Guwahati airport could become a major airline hub and gateway to the Southeast Asia

Patna zoo adds Chyawanprash to its menu to protect chimpanzees from cold


Lord Shiva cracks jokes and Durga fries samosas (satire)

Moody hates black money and strikes at midnight (satire)

Didi sharpens her weapons to conquer the Hindi belt (satire)


Ohio student stabs people with a butcher knife before being shot dead

Ukraine plans missile tests, Russia responds by sending warships to the Black Sea

London Police deputes anti-terrorism patrol units under Operation Servator


Sir Roger Moore says he could play James Bond once again

President Putin grants Russian citizenship to Hollywood star Steven Seagal

US President Barack Obama presents Medal of Freedom to Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, Robert De Niro, Diana Ross and Bill Gates

Moody gets a call from Ronald Grump (satire)

Moody, like any blacksmith, loves to strike when the iron is hot - striking has always been his strength. After the well planned and executed surgical strike, he went ahead with his black money strike. Black money is a subject that everyone loves to talk about. And black money when added to Swiss banks make for a heady cocktail.
Of course, Moody himself shies away from cocktails and no one knows for certain whether he has ever tasted the harmless mocktails.
The ringing of the hotline brought Moody back to reality. It was the new Uncle Sam better known as Ronald Grump – a man who is unpredictable.

‘Namaste Ronald-ji,’ Moody greeted him.
‘What’s that you said just now?’ Ronald asked.
‘It is our way of salutation,’ Moody explained. ‘A welcome message Ronald-ji.’
‘My name is Ronald, Ronny for short,’ Ronald grunted. ‘I hear you have taken a very bold step in a hurry and have fallen in a pit. It does not help your image. Your people are still one century behind us and you want to overtake us.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Moody replied. ‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours.’
‘That is why you have to hammer home the message about cleanliness, build toilets, clean your rivers, is it? Look buddy, your priorities are confused.’
‘Our civilization is way ahead of yours. We invented the flying machine much before you did. It was the flying chariot - Ravana used it to kidnap Sita.’
Ronald gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know all that. You invented the zero, you invented yoga, you invented the snake charmers and you have hundreds of Godmen who perform miracles. Wake up man, there is more to living than is revealed in your philosophies.’
‘OK,’ Moody replied. ‘What is it you want?’
‘I want you to know that I talked with your pal the other day. It was a pleasant surprise. He is such a nice man. I wonder why you can’t get along with him.’
‘I don’t understand who you are talking about,’ Moody murmured.
‘Your neighbor,’ Ronald laughed. ‘Both of you were buddies, you exchanged gifts and you even dropped in on him one day, unannounced. And – all of a sudden you don’t want to talk with him! What’s the problem?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Make in Odisha conclave attracts investment of more than Rs 22000 crore on first day

Guwahati airport could become a major airline hub and gateway to the Southeast Asia

Patna zoo adds Chyawanprash to its menu to protect chimpanzees from cold


Lord Shiva cracks jokes and Durga fries samosas (satire)

Moody hates black money and strikes at midnight (satire)

Didi sharpens her weapons to conquer the Hindi belt (satire)


Ohio student stabs people with a butcher knife before being shot dead

Ukraine plans missile tests, Russia responds by sending warships to the Black Sea

London Police deputes anti-terrorism patrol units under Operation Servator


Sir Roger Moore says he could play James Bond once again

President Putin grants Russian citizenship to Hollywood star Steven Seagal

US President Barack Obama presents Medal of Freedom to Tom Hanks, Bruce Springsteen, Robert De Niro, Diana Ross and Bill Gates