Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Moody’s diktat – send tomatoes underground (satire)


Moody was not his pleasant self. The glass of juice that he took in the morning after his yoga practice tasted different. He asked his man Friday about it and got a shocking reply. The juice was not the original tomato juice but a watered down one – because the reddish vegetable was selling at exorbitant rates. Hence, in keeping with the traditions of austerity, it was diluted with water.
He immediately summoned his core group for a meeting and, at the appointed hour, they trooped into his chamber. There was Jet Lee, Banka Nadoo, Pass One, Sue Sharma and Nitty Gadcurry.
‘Are you aware of what is happening?’ Moody asked.
No one replied because so many things were happening all the time and no one could guess which of these Moody was talking about.
‘I am in contact with our foreign missions,’ Sue Sharma broke the silence. ‘They have designed a system by which I will know immediately if some of our people wants assistance from us. Right now, my team is working on the girl who went missing while returning from a party.’
‘I am not talking on that subject,’ Moody said.
‘I have checked the highway extension plans and they are proceeding as we want them to, where we want them to,’ Nitty Gadcurry chipped in. ‘The benefits will go to those who toe our line.’
‘I am not interested in highways,’ Moody said.
‘I have already working on my next list of Smart Cities,’ Venka Nadoo said. ‘It will be a surprise.’
‘Why is no one talking about the most important topic of today?’
They all exchanged glances and shrugged their shoulders.
‘Do you know that my morning glass of juice tasted horrible?’
Again they all exchanged glances.
‘Tell me, why has the price of a simple item like tomatoes gone so high?’
‘Actually it is a product of Nature,’ Pass One said. ‘No one has any control over it. If there is more rain, the products rot. If there is less rainfall, the yield is less.’
‘Nonsense,’ Moody was not happy with the reply. ‘You should have foreseen the possibility and taken procurement action from other sources.’
‘We are taking action against hoarders,’ Pass One explained. ‘The tomatoes go underground heaping miseries on those above ground.’
Moody grinned.
‘Why don’t you take them underground first?’ he asked.
Pass One gulped as did all the others. How could Moody support such moves?
‘Dear Pass One,’ Moody explained. ‘Let us have underground storage facilities for items like tomatoes and onions. Let us beat the hoarders at their game.’ Then Moody looked at Venka Nadoo. ‘Do not give Smart City tags unless the cities create such provisions.’
‘I think that is a very good idea,’ Venka Nadoo said. ‘I’ll ask my men to recast the new list.’ (to be continued ..)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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