Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)

Lord Shiva, sitting on top of Mount Kailash, was peering through his binoculars and watching the sea of humanity in the city as it made its way to the central place – the reason: it was the 21st. It was an undeclared holiday for many and a day of rejoicing.
The city used to witness bandhs when there would be a total breakdown of transport and a forced holiday. Nowadays there are no bandhs as such but calls for assembling in a central place has the same effect as a bandh.
Durga had come out of her kitchen. She was wiping her wet hands on the pallu of her saree and observing the Lord.
‘Things are always happening down there,’ she said. ‘What is it now?’
‘I don’t know. Is there any festival that I am not aware of?’ Shiva asked.
‘Yes,’ Durga replied. ‘It is a festival of free meals.’
‘How come?’
‘The leader wants to talk to her subjects and has called them to the city,’ Durga explained.

‘What does she want to talk about?’
‘About her vision,’ Durga said. ‘She is a visionary and loves her Hawaii chappal and the plain white saree. And - she does cover her head on certain occasions to impress certain groups.’
‘That is nothing new,’ Shiva muttered. ‘All political leaders do it – they love to get themselves photographed in the dress of other cultures. Leaders are like chameleons. But – tell me. How did she get the villages to come to the city all together? What is the magic?’
‘It is the magic of free food,’ Durga said. ‘They have arrived in the night and had dinner. Next morning it was breakfast followed by lunch.’
‘But they were supposed to listen to her messages.’
‘It is all a one-woman show,’ Durga sighed. ‘She loves to hear her own voice. She allows her imagination to run wild and build castles in the air. She is not bothered about who has heard her and who has not.’
‘She is no exception. That is what all politicians do.’
‘Moreover, our lady is an accomplished artist,’ Durga reminded. ‘Her canvases sell for lakhs of rupees. She can paint real rosy pictures.’
‘Yes,’ Shiva said and placed the binoculars on the hillock. ‘She is an asset.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Monsoons and Didi’s flipflops aka Hawaii chappals (satire)

It was raining cats and dogs and Didi had to be escorted from her car to her house by Abhi Shake who protected her with the umbrella. Of course, only her head was protected because when the rains are accompanied by gusts of wind, the clothes will get wet – as well as her trademark Hawaii chappals. Abhi had a standby pair of chappals and, once she entered her house, he dutifully placed the dry chappals at her feet.
Didi was pleased and rewarded him with a smile and it did not escape Moo Cool’s eyes. Neither dirt it escape the gazes of Dee Wreck, Omit Misra, Show Van and Patro Chatto.

They had been waiting to meet her and seeing Abhi Shake with herm they knew that Abhi had stolen a march over them. ‘I don’t see some of our people,’ Didi murmured as she occupied her throne.
‘These sudden rains must have delayed them,’ Moo Cool said.
‘It is monsoon time and it will rain. Does it mean we will not do our regular work? Do we not have our lunch and dinner?’
Moo Cool did not have a ready answer. He wanted to say that rains meant khichdi – piping hot khichdi with a dollop of ghee and begun bhaja plus omelet but he checked himself. Unless he knew her mood, he just could not open his mouth.
Suddenly the kettle of tea arrived with a basket of onion fries or piyaji – there were two boys who worked in the nearby restaurant. It supplied the tea and snacks.
Didi took a sip of tea and glanced at the bunch of papers on her desk. There were the daily newspapers and some mail of importance that she needed to go through.
It was Omit Misra who finally dared to speak.
‘How do we celebrate this time?’ he asked. His question was not addressed to anyone – he just wanted to start a discussion.
‘As usual,’ Moo Cool volunteered a reply.
‘There are reports that others may take over some areas,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘I have been studying the social networking sites and get a feeling that things are not as rosy as we would like them to be.’
‘Rubbish,’ Patro Chatto shifted his bulk in the chair. He had put on a lot of weight and, this time, he must get a home gym to ensure that his weight was in check.
The ringing of the mobile phone drew all eyes on Show Van. He listened and his face lit up with a huge smile.
‘It is the man from the Embassy,’ he said.
‘Which Embassy?’ Didi asked.
‘The Chinese Embassy,’ Show Van said. ‘They want to know about the Durga Puja and their travel plans during the festival.’
‘Tell them that Nabanna will keep them informed,’ Abhi Shake said.
‘And – one of them has developed Hawaii chappals for the monsoons. It is covered and the feet won’t get wet. They want Didi to try it out.’ ((to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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