Monday, January 2, 2017

Moody in the world of pickpockets and beggars (satire)


Moody had a mission in life – to cleanse society of all evils. He wanted a clean society – clean in all sense right from their toiletry habits to dirtying the pure waters of the Ganga to everything that is black.
The color black signifies all that is bad right from black magic to black money and black market.
The buzzing of the phone brought him back to reality.
It was Ronald Grump on the line.
‘Hi reformist,’ Grump said, ‘how was your New Year Eve?’
‘I beg your pardon,’ Moody cleared his throat, ‘New Year Eve is a western concept, to me it is just one evening like any other evening. Why should there be anything special for that?’
Ronald Grump gave a hearty laugh.
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I heard you have tied yourself into knots over your sudden decision to ban notes. Your people are not happy.’
‘They do not realize the amount of thought that had gone into arriving at that decision,’ Moody explained. ‘It was not only to stop corruption in all walks of life but also to plug the loopholes of those who create and store black money.’
‘I believe that you have put a whole lot of people out of business.’
‘Certainly not,’ Moody did not agree. ‘Shopkeepers are shifting over to cashless schemes and embracing e-wallets and debit cards.’
Ronald gave another hearty laugh.
‘My dear reformist – have you not put pickpockets out of business? And the beggars? If there is no loose cash, how will they survive?’
It was now Moody’s turn to laugh.
‘You must understand – the pickpockets and beggars are out of business, I agree. But that is a passing phase. Once they get trained in some trade, they will get regular employment.’
‘What trades?’
‘My cabinet is working out the details,’ Moody was not one to be hurried. ‘I am creating a new Ministry – the Ministry of Pickpockets & Beggars. It will carry out a census and keep a count of all PP & Bs and, each of them will get a one-time grant of Rs 1000 as a goodwill gesture.’
Ronald Grump laughed.
‘You mean the pickpockets and beggars will have a change of heart and mend their ways with that?’
‘Yes, I am certain they will.’
‘And – what is your timeframe?’ Ronald Grump was curious.
‘Once I make a start, everything will fall in place, as it has for notebandi,’ Moody replied. ‘Rome was not built in a day.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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