Lord Shiva tries to understand Moody magic (satire)

‘You have something on your mind?’ Durga-devi asked Lord Shiva as he sat staring into the distance. They had finished lunch and were sitting on top of a hillock in Mount Kailash enjoying the winter sunshine. The Lord was bareback as usual – Bhringi, his trusted assistant, never forgot to apply the special ash powder on his body. It was far better than any prickly heat powder or dandruff powder.
The Lord’s hair was tied in a huge knot on top of his head and he had never been troubled by dandruff.
‘I want to learn the tricks of the trade,’ Shiva said.
‘What tricks? Which trade?’ Durga did not understand.
‘Tell me why this Moody character keeps running from one country to another?’
‘He is certainly not playing musical chairs,’ Durga smiled.
‘Then why does he not stay in his own country for long? Is he running away from trouble?’
‘Actually he is new to this job. He is like a child with a brand new toy. He wants to show it off and impress the people. He is a lonely soul – he does not stay with his wife. So, he keeps himself distracted by meeting new people, visiting new places, learning new languages, tasting new food.’

‘Don’t tell me he loves to taste new food,’ Shiva objected. ‘From what I have heard, he never bites a morsel of food when away on tour. That is why his guests swoon over him – they do not have to bother what food to serve him. A glass of water or a glass of lime juice is all that he takes – and, an occasional slice of apple.’
‘Well – everyone has his likes and dislikes,’ Durga said. ‘But you must admit that he has showcased our culture and heritage wherever he has gone. When visiting other countries, he takes with him long lost boys. He has also instructed his people to search for lost souls who are stranded in other countries. He wants to bring them back.’
Lord Shiva sighed.
‘Yes – and he reciprocates good gestures with neighbors. He also wants to send back lost souls from neighboring countries who are stranded in his territory. He loves doing good deeds.’
Durga looked at the lengthening shadow of the trees and left her seat.
‘Tell me,’ Shiva asked, ‘If he is always on the move, when does he get the time to look into problems that need his attention.’
Durga laughed.
‘His problems are associated with cleanliness,’ she said. ‘There is dirt everywhere. He wants a clean slate to write on and is searching for just a slate. Then only can he begin writing.’ (to be continued…)

Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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The 'Pat & Jolie' instant noodles worry Lord Shiva (satire)

Lord Shiva sniffed the air, stared into the distance and saw the range of mountains in his very own Kailash. His wife Durga sat beside him - she was engrossed in the memories of her mother's home and tried to piece together those fond memories in her mind.
'What is that smell?' Lord Shiva asked.
Durga also sniffed and became serious.
'That is the smell of instant noodles drying in the open,' she said.
'Instant noodles? Drying in the open?' Shiva was stunned.
'Yes - it is that new noodle factory that Pat & Jolie have set up,' Durga replied.
'Unbelievable!!' Shiva was surprised no end. 'Just imagine a noodle factory in this part of the world! Wonders will never cease! Where is this factory?'
'In Haridwar.'

'And - they are being dried in the open?'
'Yes - that is to ensure that the stuff absorbs the UV rays from the Sun,' Durga said. 'These noodles are not just safe but also much more healthy than what is available in the market.'
'That is good news,' Shiva said.' But - what are these UV rays?'
'UV rays means ultra violet rays. These are good for health. Actually - instant noodles available in the market had impurities like MSG in them. They are not safe for consumption. That is what prompted the new venture.'
'MSG?' again Lord Shiva appeared stumped.
'MSG is a chemical known as Monosodium Glutamate (MSG).'
'I thought MSG was the abbreviation you used in SMSs - short form of 'message'!' the Lord was satisfied. But - he had some other doubts.
'You said that Pat & Jolie have started this setup. Why should foreigners enter into a joint venture and interfere in our domestic affairs?'
Durga sighed.
'My dear husband - there are no foreigners in this. The name might sound to be imported but it is a totally Indian affair. Of course, Pat & Jolie does have an eye on taking over the international brands.'
'That would be great,' Shiva agreed. 'What is their USP?'
'Instant noodles - no MSG but with loads of UV rays added.'(to be continued ...)

(Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org)

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