Didi’s idea - deflate tyres to punish unruly drivers (satire)

Didi hates rash driving and unruly drivers and, in spite of her instructions, there are rash drivers who get involved in hit-and-run affairs and land up with blood on their hands. Some of them do not survive the accidents and, in spite of roadside hoardings advising them of safe driving, they just do not bother and end up either in the hospital or in the morgue.
There was pin drop silence in the room as Didi entered.
Seated with grim faces were her trusted lieutenants Patro Chatto, Omit Misra, Dee Wreck, Moo Cool, Fear Had and Show Van. Only Abhi Shake was missing – he was in the Bell View hospital, recuperating from the effects of rash driving.
No, he was not behind the steering wheel. He was an occupant of the car and was lucky.

‘Have you released the circular?’ she asked her administrative officer.
‘I have drafted it,’ he cleared his throat and replied.
‘Is it applicable for both two and four wheelers?’ Didi wanted to know.
‘Yes. And also for three wheelers.’
‘Three wheelers?’
‘Yes, the auto rickshaws. They must also be reined in. Today one of then behaved badly with my daughter on her way back from school.’
‘Have you made helmets compulsory for two wheelers?’ she asked.
‘Yes. We will revive the no-helmet, no-petrol rule. Plus - seat belts and air bags for four wheelers.’
‘Good,’ Didi seemed satisfied. ‘And, to enforce discipline, I want to punish those who do not toe the line. My punishment will give instant results.’
‘You mean the police will book them on the spot?’
‘No. That takes a lot of time.’
‘Then what is your punishment?’
‘Hawa nikal doh. Take the air out of their tyres,’ Didi said.
‘But who will do that?’ Patro Chatto gulped and asked. ‘They are all rowdies.’
‘What Patro,’ Didi chided him. ‘Instruct the local clubs to position their members at every petrol pump and deflate tyres. They’ll not refuse and do it gladly because I give them annual grants for their chai and singaras.’ ‘Sorry,’ Partro said. ‘I did not think on those lines.’
‘Didi is great,’ Dee Wreck quipped. ‘She thinks of everything.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Pine needles to produce electricity in Uttarakhand

Lost £250 wedding ring retrieved after the eight million gallon lake was drained

Jakarta to pay $1.5 for every rat caught to contain rat menace


Fuchka Festival in Kolkata and selfies (satire)

Moody fires cannons to eliminate mosquitoes (satire)

Lord Shiva’s Durga puja is about selfish people and selfies (satire)


Carey Mulligan leaves teddy bears outside gates of 10 Downing Street to protest attacks on Aleppo

Battle to liberate Mosul rages and ISIS fighters flee the city dressed as women

Group clashes in prisons in Brazil kill at least 18 inmates


The Guardians of the Galaxy 2 trailer released

Trailer of xXx: Return of Xander Cage starring Deepika Padukone launched in four Indian languages

Jackie Chan's Kung Fu Yoga to release on 28th January 2017

Shiva learns about dhanteras from Durga (satire)

Lord Shiva wore a worried look in his abode in the wilderness of Mount Kailash. Durga had returned with her children and was settling down to the dull dreary routine life but the bombardment of ads on the TV was a major distraction for Shiva.
He was unable to concentrate of how to lay hands on fresh tiger skins. Yes, he had got used to the duplicate stuff but, the feel of the original was missing.
Durga guessed that Lord Shiva had something on his mind because he was twirling his trident between his fingers.
‘A paisa for your thoughts,’ she said as she sidled up to him and occupied a seat beside him on a hillock.
‘What is this dhanteras?’ he asked.
‘You know what is dhan?’
‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘It means wealth.’
‘Well – dhanteras is a word coined to mean accumulation of wealth.’
‘I see,’ Shiva mumbled. ‘That is why jewelry shops are offering discounts on making charges of ornaments to attract customers, right?’

‘Partially. In fact, dhanteras has become a huge business opportunity for even the online fraternity. They are selling items from jewelry to sweets and clothes and footwear apart from TV sets and smart phones.’
‘You forgot to add – buying two and four wheelers on instalment. In short, dhanteras is yet another festival to milk the people.’
‘Yes, it is another festival to spread a feeling of goodness and well-being.’
‘Then why are they banning firecrackers during Diwali?’
‘That is to prevent air pollution and keep the children safe.’
‘But they burst crackers on the roads when they win elections.’
‘Those are exceptions. Remember, exception proves the rule.’
‘Then what about those who do business in firecrackers? Do you want them to switch over to making jewelry or making rasogollas or pickles?’
Durga sighed.
‘They can go in for alternate jobs like making clay lamps for Diwali. Clay lamps, wicks, bottled oils. These are in great demand because there is a ban on imported toony bulbs and Diwali means lights to drive away the darkness and evil.’
‘I doubt if Evil will ever be frightened by lights and run away,’ Shiva said. ‘They need to be bombed out.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Pine needles to produce electricity in Uttarakhand

Lost £250 wedding ring retrieved after the eight million gallon lake was drained

Jakarta to pay $1.5 for every rat caught to contain rat menace


Fuchka Festival in Kolkata and selfies (satire)

Moody fires cannons to eliminate mosquitoes (satire)

Lord Shiva’s Durga puja is about selfish people and selfies (satire)


Carey Mulligan leaves teddy bears outside gates of 10 Downing Street to protest attacks on Aleppo

Battle to liberate Mosul rages and ISIS fighters flee the city dressed as women

Group clashes in prisons in Brazil kill at least 18 inmates


The Guardians of the Galaxy 2 trailer released

Trailer of xXx: Return of Xander Cage starring Deepika Padukone launched in four Indian languages

Jackie Chan's Kung Fu Yoga to release on 28th January 2017

Fuchka Festival in Kolkata and selfies (satire)

Didi was in top gear. She had won a battle and had returned land to the farmers. She had ousted an automobile manufacturing company from her land, had uprooted the buildings and had returned the land back to the farmers. It was a promise she had made and, she had fulfilled it.
‘I think this calls for a celebration,’ Patro Chatto said in a low voice. He had, of late, come closer to Didi and he loved to bask in her glory.
‘Let us arrange a festival,’ Didi said. ‘We have ilish festival and sandesh festival, let us organize another interesting festival that has universal appeal.’
‘We can go in for jhal muri festival,’ Dee Wreck suggested. ‘It is a unique product of Bengal and has taken London by storm. I have seen rave reviews in the social media. We can use the opportunity to woo the British to come to our city.’
‘That is a good idea,’ Fear Had said. ‘I know you also love jhal muri. The other day you were having jhal muri in front of Victoria Memorial with one of your guests and it became hot news. Just like the hot jhal muri.’ Didi gave Fear Had a hard look.
‘I have a better idea,’ Omit Misra cleared his throat. ‘It has a mass appeal because it is loved equally all over the country.’
‘What is it?’ Didi asked.

‘Fuchka,’ Omit Misra replied and wiped his glasses. ‘It is also known as the golguppa or pani puri. Whenever I get a chance, I have several mouthfuls.’
‘Not a bad idea,’ Didi was serious. ‘I’ll invite my friends from Delhi and Mumbai to set up stalls for variety.’ ‘What about the venue?’ Show Van asked.
‘The Milon Mela,’ Didi said. ‘That is where we hold all festivals.’
‘But – it is a huge area. Can it be filled?’
Didi grinned.
‘Don’t be silly,’ she chided him. ‘There will be stalls for selling fuchka and golguppas and pani puris. Then there will be a section on cookery where experts will come and talk about how to make fuchkas. And – there will be books on fuchkas. I will write one book of poems about fuchka. The possibilities are unlimited.’
‘When do we have this festival?’ Dee Wreck asked.
‘Get hold of the oldest fuchka man and his date of birth. That will be the date,’ Didi said. ‘He will probably be from Bihar. I will honor him on the occasion and my fans will increase. I will also declare a holiday on that date so that everyone can make a beeline for Milon Mela to enjoy fuchkas.’
‘There is one problem,’ Patro Chatto mumbled.
‘What?’ Didi asked.
‘Can you take selfie while gulping fuchkas?’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Calcutta Tramways Company to increase frequency of tram service at night from November

Tampara wetland, a tourist spot in Ganjam district, to get a facelift

Durga idol of 2016 to be preserved in Park Street metro station


Moody becomes moody after surgical strike (satire)

Lord Shiva in the world of deodorants (satire)

Three cheers for Didi – the Jill of all trades (satire)


Terrorist attacks and suicide bombing kill at least 46 in Iraq

21 school girls of Chibok, abducted by Boko Haram in 2014, return home

Indications are there that both United States and Russia are preparing for war


Power Rangers to return after a decade and hit the screens on March 24 next year

Bob Dylan, the 75-year-old American folk singer, wins Nobel Prize for literature

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Moody not happy with the outcome of the meeting (satire)

Moody was in a serious closed door meeting with his lieutenants. Present were Sue Sharma, Jet Lee, Pyari Kar, Baba Someday, Banka Nadoo, Rajanna King and others.
His agenda was bricks, tons of them including brickbats and he was not happy with the outcome of the meeting.
‘What did I do wrong?’ Moody asked.
‘You just cannot do anything wrong,’ Sue Sharma assured him.
‘Then why did Vlady Putty not scold Na Buzz?’
‘But, he did agree that our neighbors are not following procedures,’ Jet Lee said.

‘I wanted Putty to do much more,’ Moody sighed. ‘I had boosted him sky high when I said that one old friend is an asset and much more than ten new friends.’
‘He did appreciate that,’ Sue Sharma said. ‘I was watching him and I saw him smile.’
‘I know, I also saw that,’ Moody went on. ‘Just to keep him happy, I made him and the others wear my trademark jacket – and they gladly did that.’
‘That was a master stroke,’ Pyari Kar added. ‘It was a memorable photo ops.’
‘I even signed the contract with Putty to buy so many choppers from him,’ Moody said. ‘I wanted him to chide Na Buzz for all the tricks he is playing. His cattle roam into my house, his pigeons fly into my territory. But – Putty found nothing wrong.’
‘Neither did Jean Ping,’ Banka Nadoo complained. ‘He also sidestepped the issue. And we were hoping that he would take our side.’
‘He is probably not pleased with our policy of banning his items this Diwali,’ Baba Someday had his say. ‘He must realize that our products must get a market. I have asked my Pat & Jolie setup to make clay lamps. I will sell them along with a bottle of oil – it will come free. I want my people to light these lamps. Diwali is a festival of lamps, not of flickering bulbs.’
When the world leaders had gathered at the beachside venue to discuss serious matters, Moody was happy. When they agreed to wear jackets like him, he was still more happy. And, when Moody mentioned that an old friend was always an asset compared to ten new friends, and Vlady Putty smiled, Moody’s joys knew no bounds.
But it did not end the way he wanted it to – it left a bad taste in his mouth. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Calcutta Tramways Company to increase frequency of tram service at night from November

Tampara wetland, a tourist spot in Ganjam district, to get a facelift

Durga idol of 2016 to be preserved in Park Street metro station


Moody becomes moody after surgical strike (satire)

Lord Shiva in the world of deodorants (satire)

Three cheers for Didi – the Jill of all trades (satire)


Terrorist attacks and suicide bombing kill at least 46 in Iraq

21 school girls of Chibok, abducted by Boko Haram in 2014, return home

Indications are there that both United States and Russia are preparing for war


Power Rangers to return after a decade and hit the screens on March 24 next year

Bob Dylan, the 75-year-old American folk singer, wins Nobel Prize for literature

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Lord Shiva and Durga discuss opportunities for hand fans (satire)

Durga had returned to her abode in Mount Kailash and was settling down to another dreary routine life when Lord Shiva called her.
‘Did you hear anything about this new fad of immersion carnivals?’ he asked.
‘Immersion carnival?’ Durga was surprised.
She came over to Shiva and looked at the TV screen – it was a live demonstration of immersion processions presided over by the grand lady of Bengal. It is rumored that not a single leaf dares to turn or a bird dares to sing or a dog dares to bark without her permission.
‘Seems to be an interesting affair,’ Durga said as she sat down beside Shiva.
‘People are comparing it to the Rio Carnival,’ Shiva remarked.
‘That is noisier, livelier and more colorful,’ Durga said.

‘But, can this Sharad carnival draw audience from abroad?’
‘Time only can tell that,’ Durga replied.
‘I hear she had the idea during her recent visit to Europe,’ Shiva said. ‘She has already installed a Big Ben in the city and will have a giant Eye soon on the Hoogly. Probably she feels that foreigners will be impressed if they can get all such landmarks compressed into one city. A street carnival will add some weight.’
‘She certainly has outlandish ideas,’ Durga added. ‘There are rumors that next year onwards, the festival will be a 10-day affair.’
‘That means your annual trip will be a 10-day one?’
‘Yes. And – you’ll have to fend for yourself for ten whole days.’
‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll manage,’ Shiva assured. Inwardly he was happy, he would enjoy still more ganja. ‘You worry about yourself. You will have to remain cooped up in the pandals for ten days. It will be a terrible experience in the hot, humid surroundings.’
Durga laughed.
‘The organizers will install air conditioners and air blowers,’ she said. ‘They will replace the agarbatti manufacturers and become the main sponsors.’
‘Why not hand fans?’ Shiva asked. ‘It could give a boost to the hand fan manufacturing industry. If properly marketed, it could earn recognition among the foreign tourists who would be to watch the gala immersion parade on Red Road.’
Durga did not have any ready answer. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Calcutta Tramways Company to increase frequency of tram service at night from November

Tampara wetland, a tourist spot in Ganjam district, to get a facelift

Durga idol of 2016 to be preserved in Park Street metro station


Moody becomes moody after surgical strike (satire)

Lord Shiva in the world of deodorants (satire)

Three cheers for Didi – the Jill of all trades (satire)


Terrorist attacks and suicide bombing kill at least 46 in Iraq

21 school girls of Chibok, abducted by Boko Haram in 2014, return home

Indications are there that both United States and Russia are preparing for war


Power Rangers to return after a decade and hit the screens on March 24 next year

Bob Dylan, the 75-year-old American folk singer, wins Nobel Prize for literature

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Moody fires cannons to eliminate mosquitoes (satire)

Moody was basking in the glory of surgical strikes. He had proved to the world at large that his boast of a 56-inch chest was no figment of imagination. He could deliver the goods when required. But – all of a sudden, a couple of unwanted visitors dropped in and he had to use cannons to fight off some measly mosquitoes.
The first man to congratulate him on his achievement was Vladdy Putty.
‘I have loved every moment of your 58-hour episode to eliminate a couple of mosquitoes,’ he said. ‘How many rounds of ammunition have you used up?’
‘Actually my man Pyari Kar will know the exact figures,’ Moody said. ‘And – it was a 57-hour battle, not 58.’ Moody corrected. He wanted to put the records straight.
‘Battle?’ Vladdy Putty was surprised.
‘Of course,’ Moody said. ‘They had holed up in a seven-storied building and it had sixty rooms and sixty bathrooms. It took time to locate them without damaging the items in the rooms. My men have done a wonderful job.’

After Vladdy Putty finished, Angel Miracle came on the line.
‘Congratulations on winning yet another round,’ she complimented Moody. ‘But why did it take so long? Don’t you think that 57-hours was a bit too long to eliminate only two miscreants?’
‘It was a tricky job,’ Moody explained. ‘We had to keep the building surrounded. Time was no problem because it was a sort of practical training for my boys. They have to always be battle ready.’
‘I believe that you had choppers circling overhead?’
‘Yes. We wanted to maintain continuous surveillance. We did not want them to slip away.’
‘But – your expert fighters could have taken the aerial route and dropped from the skies. They could have entered from the roof or through the windows.’
‘They did what was best,’ Moody said. ‘My man Pyari Kar was following their moves.’
‘If you ask me, I would have finished the elimination within a few hours.’
Once Angel Miracle finished, there was Tressa May on the line.
‘You have done a great job,’ she said. ‘But – do you not use tear gas? If I had to do it my way, I would have lobbed in a couple of tear gas shells. That would have brought them out in the open faster.’
‘Actually we tried to starve them,’ Moody explained. ‘We knew they had brought dry food with them and once that finished, they would have to come out.’
‘But, I believe that there was a canteen on the topmost floor. Then how would they starve?’
Moody could feel his overseas friends laughing behind his back.
They had lauded his surgical strikes but could not swallow the fact that it took 57-hours to eliminate two mosquitoes. And, hundreds of bullets were spent in the process as well as manpower plus expenses related to diesel for continuous chopper and drone operations. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Taiwan struck by Typhoon Megi, third typhoon in two weeks

Terrorist alarm in Uran was the figment of a 12-year-old schoolgirl's imagination

Tourist season in Kaziranga National Park to start from October 1 instead of November 1


Moody is off mood – Na Buzz had fooled him again (satire)

Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


9300 people killed in Russian airstrikes in Syria during last year

MH17 flight shot down by rocket over Ukraine in 2014 was work of pro-Moscow rebels

Shooting in Burlington - gunman on the run after shooting dead four women in a shopping center


Mark Wahlberg talks about movie on Deepwater Horizon explosion in the Gulf of Mexico

Adele creates a record - her latest album 25 has gone platinum in the US

Movie memorabilia go under the hammer - Batman's batpod fetches £312,000

Three cheers for Didi – the Jill of all trades (satire)

Didi is a unique leader and has no parallel – she is a wonderful orator, she can paint rosy pictures sitting on the dais, she can swing votes in her favor, she can sing songs for almost any occasion – she is, in short, the Jill of all trades.
Suddenly her smartphone rang – it was Moo Cool, her trusted lieutenant.
‘Yes,’ her voice sounded tired. She had just returned to her office after inaugurating one dozen Durga pujas that evening.
‘I know you are famished, ‘Moo Cool was apologetic. ‘But – there is one more inauguration.’
‘But I have completed the schedule for the day,’ Didi was irritated.
‘This is not a puja but a toy train.’
‘In Darjeeling?’
‘No. In one of the pandals. You have inaugurated the puja but missed out the toy train. And – the kids are crying. They are waiting in queue and want you in the driver’s seat.’

Didi sighed.
She could not antagonize the kids. They were the future. Who knows, one of them could very well become her Nemesis and the reason for her downfall.
This Durga Puja had been hectic for her. All her fans wanted her to inaugurate the pujas and she did not have the heart to refuse. The popularity of movie stars faded when she came on the stage. And Tollywood had accepted the fate.
Didi had accommodated many of them into her menagerie and had never worried about the age factor. There were those bent down by age alongside the youth bubbling with energy. To her, the ability to draw crowds was what mattered.
As her car moved towards the venue, she remembered that she has yet to paint more pictures, sell them and make money to bring the Eiffel Tower into Kolkata. She had already brought the Big Ben and the London Eye was on its way. Now, it was the turn of the Eiffel Tower.
That was the feedback from the social media circuit as confirmed by Dee Wreck – he managed her internet interaction.
She was the only woman leader who could paint, write poems, sing, and walk – and hold the stage on her own. She could hold her audience spellbound with her oratory powers. She was, in essence, a Jill of all trades. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Taiwan struck by Typhoon Megi, third typhoon in two weeks

Terrorist alarm in Uran was the figment of a 12-year-old schoolgirl's imagination

Tourist season in Kaziranga National Park to start from October 1 instead of November 1


Moody is off mood – Na Buzz had fooled him again (satire)

Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


9300 people killed in Russian airstrikes in Syria during last year

MH17 flight shot down by rocket over Ukraine in 2014 was work of pro-Moscow rebels

Shooting in Burlington - gunman on the run after shooting dead four women in a shopping center


Mark Wahlberg talks about movie on Deepwater Horizon explosion in the Gulf of Mexico

Adele creates a record - her latest album 25 has gone platinum in the US

Movie memorabilia go under the hammer - Batman's batpod fetches £312,000

Lord Shiva’s Durga puja is about selfish people and selfies (satire)

Lord Shiva was totally relaxed. Durga had gone to her mother’s and the surroundings of Mount Kailash were calm and quiet. No sound of cooking came from the kitchen. Durga had, like a dutiful and loving Indian wife had cooked in advance and stocked the freezer with a variety of ready-to-eat dishes.
It was afternoon and Shiva was sitting in the shade of a tree after a dose of chillum when his smartphone rang. Durga was on the line.
‘Are you feeling lonely?’ he asked.
‘Not lonely but confused,’ Durga sighed.
‘Why?’
‘In one pandal, I am surrounded by broken bricks, in another pandal, it is sea shells, in a third it is coconuts. My devotees are exploiting me. To them, I have become a means to make money. There is no devotion.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Shiva consoled her. ‘It’s all for a good cause.’
‘How?’
‘This annual ritual surrounding your visit to your mother’s place has spawned a whole number of industries and generated thousands of jobs. It has reduced unemployment.’
‘I think your dose of ganja has gone to your head. You must be hallucinating.’
‘I am serious,’ Shiva said. ‘The annual puja that you are seeing is the result of a whole year’s effort by a group of people. And, these people are artists, artisans and think tanks. They are intellectuals and scour the internet to come up with revolutionary ideas to mint money.’
‘Don’t talk in riddles,’ Durga was irritated.
‘The brains behind these pujas work overtime to conjure up ways and means of making money. They select a design for the pandal and then sets the ball rolling. They have to generate enough employment potentials for their trusted followers to keep them happy.’
‘I really think you are stoned.’
‘No. I am absolutely sane. You must remember Rome was not built in a day.’
‘What has Rome got to do with Kolkata?’
‘Plenty. Believe me –the puja organizers are real genius. They dream up a theme like making the pandal out of seashells. And – procure them from people who will pay them back when required. It’s a major political game. Sponsors shell out the money and the organizers make the most of the opportunity.’
‘Now I understand why the awards go to those with political connections.’
‘Durga Puja today is about selfish people and selfies,’ Shiva said. (to be concluded …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Taiwan struck by Typhoon Megi, third typhoon in two weeks

Terrorist alarm in Uran was the figment of a 12-year-old schoolgirl's imagination

Tourist season in Kaziranga National Park to start from October 1 instead of November 1


Moody is off mood – Na Buzz had fooled him again (satire)

Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


9300 people killed in Russian airstrikes in Syria during last year

MH17 flight shot down by rocket over Ukraine in 2014 was work of pro-Moscow rebels

Shooting in Burlington - gunman on the run after shooting dead four women in a shopping center


Mark Wahlberg talks about movie on Deepwater Horizon explosion in the Gulf of Mexico

Adele creates a record - her latest album 25 has gone platinum in the US

Movie memorabilia go under the hammer - Batman's batpod fetches £312,000

Moody becomes moody after surgical strike (satire)

Moody had got the news about the surgical strikes and elimination of a pack of nuisance – they kept infiltrating into his house and destroyed his garden. He wanted to erect a wall and demarcate the boundary because the infiltrators gave the excuse that their literacy was low and since there is no visible boundary, their flocks keep making mistakes.
Suddenly the hot line rang – it was Clean Ton, a woman leader who could mean a lot.
‘Yes,’ Moody picked up the receiver.
‘How did you hit upon the idea?’ she asked.
‘What idea?’
‘This surgical strike,’ Clean Ton said. ‘I thought it was about some surgical operation on a serious patient.’
‘Well – it was one such operation done on the sly, in the dark.’

‘You mean there was no light in the Operation Theater?’
‘No, it was after midnight.’
‘You mean an operation in the dark?’
‘Sort of,’ Moody said. ‘Outsiders had entered my area. They kept entering on some pretext or the other. Once it was about chasing honey bees. Then there was the case of coming for their cattle that had strayed into my territory.’
‘I see,’ Clean Ton lowered her voice. ‘I think you are the fittest man for the job I have in mind. Your experience would be an asset to me.’
‘What do you have in mind?’ Moody asked.
‘I want you to eliminate the reign of terror in the Middle East. I am determined to rid the world of the mess and, with the expertise that you have gained, I feel it would be a cakewalk for you. I have discussed it with Angel Miracle and Tressa May – both of them agree with me.’
Moody gulped. He had eliminated infiltrators from his backyard but taking it to a global level would be tough, especially the type of people who were behind the terror outfits.
‘I can’t give any guarantee,’ Moody said.
Clean Ton laughed.
‘You have a 56-inch chest, this work would be easy for you. Of course, they have teams of suicide bombers. You will have to neutralize them first.’
Clean Ton rang off and Moody called in his associates Sue Sharma, Pyari Kar and Rajanna King. They came in and Pyari Kar had three files on boundary walls – one was barbed wire, second was brick and mortar and the third was laser wall.
‘Just now Clean Ton had rung up,’ Moody said. ‘She is impressed with our surgical strike and wants us to replicate it in the Middle East to eliminate you-know-who.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Taiwan struck by Typhoon Megi, third typhoon in two weeks

Terrorist alarm in Uran was the figment of a 12-year-old schoolgirl's imagination

Tourist season in Kaziranga National Park to start from October 1 instead of November 1


Moody is off mood – Na Buzz had fooled him again (satire)

Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


9300 people killed in Russian airstrikes in Syria during last year

MH17 flight shot down by rocket over Ukraine in 2014 was work of pro-Moscow rebels

Shooting in Burlington - gunman on the run after shooting dead four women in a shopping center


Mark Wahlberg talks about movie on Deepwater Horizon explosion in the Gulf of Mexico

Adele creates a record - her latest album 25 has gone platinum in the US

Movie memorabilia go under the hammer - Batman's batpod fetches £312,000

Didi on a lotus growing mission (satire)

Didi’s hands were full – she had a whole lot of Durga Puja inaugurations to do. It was a trying job but, since they were all big budget pujas with her own people heading the committees, she could not disappoint them. And – they enjoyed the attention and loved every minute of it.
The TV cameras followed the team and Didi chanted the shlokas with perfection.
But – she had also to listen to complaints from all committee members. The complaint was about non availability of lotus flowers. 108 of these flowers are required for every puja and with nearly 3000 pujas being held, the shortage was a major problem.
Moo Cool was walking alongside Didi and he sidled up close to her.
‘What is this lotus they are talking about?’ she asked.

‘It is in short supply,’ Moo Cool replied in almost a whisper.
‘Why? Are there any lotus eaters around?’
‘It is not due to that.’
‘Then?’
‘Waterbodies have dried up and lotus need water to survive.’
‘That is the problem with industrialization,’ Didi murmured. ‘They occupy too much land and choke the waterbodies out. The result is shortage of fish and, now, lotus.’
‘Yes,’ Moo Cool agreed.
Just then Dee Wreck came up to her.
‘I don’t think we should discuss lotus so openly,’ he also spoke in a low voice. ‘It could send out wrong signals.’ ‘But – this lotus is different,’ Moo Cool said.
‘Don’t argue,’ Didi warned them. ‘My people have put up a problem and I must help them out. Tell me – how can we increase the production of the lotus?’
‘We could convert the land in the land bank to water bodies,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘That way we can solve two problems.’
‘Two problems?’Didi asked.
‘Yes,’ Dee Wreck replied. ‘We can produce more number of lotus and, also, breed more fish. That will take care of these two shortages.’
‘But – the land bank is kept reserved for industries.’
Dee Wreck sighed.
‘Right now there are no takers for that land,’ he said. ‘It is lying idle. We can exploit it till industries come along.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Taiwan struck by Typhoon Megi, third typhoon in two weeks

Terrorist alarm in Uran was the figment of a 12-year-old schoolgirl's imagination

Tourist season in Kaziranga National Park to start from October 1 instead of November 1


Moody is off mood – Na Buzz had fooled him again (satire)

Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


9300 people killed in Russian airstrikes in Syria during last year

MH17 flight shot down by rocket over Ukraine in 2014 was work of pro-Moscow rebels

Shooting in Burlington - gunman on the run after shooting dead four women in a shopping center


Mark Wahlberg talks about movie on Deepwater Horizon explosion in the Gulf of Mexico

Adele creates a record - her latest album 25 has gone platinum in the US

Movie memorabilia go under the hammer - Batman's batpod fetches £312,000

Mahalaya is here and Durga is set for her annual trip (satire)

At last it was Mahalaya. The much awaited day had arrived and Goddess Durga was as excited as a child – waiting to go to her mother’s place for a few days of rest away from the humdrum of routine life. Suddenly Lakshmi came up to her.
‘Mummy,’ she looked worried. ‘I heard that mosquitoes are killing people down there. What should I do? I don’t want to get bitten by those pests and catch dengue.’
‘I know,’ Durga said. ‘It is a problem for not only you but for all of us. We will not die or fall sick but we can be bitten and that will hurt.’
‘Shall I get in touch with that yogi baba who creates magic potions?’
‘You mean Baba Someday?’
‘Yes. He can give us some sort of paste to rub on our body so that it acts as a shield against mosquito attack.’

Just then Lord Shiva came up to them.
‘That is why I feel you should stop this annual visit,’ he said. ‘The people down there do not bother about us. They have become selfish and are showoffs.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Durga objected. ‘You look at the women on Ashtami day. They fast and come to pray and get my blessings.’
Shiva smiled.
‘Actually they come to display their sarees and jewelry. There is no sincerity. They fast all right but, come for Anjali after booking a table at the restaurant.’
‘I agree with you,’ Ganesh said. He had also sauntered over to hear what was being discussed. ‘These people are so hungry. Immediately the anjali is over, they rush to enjoy the five course meal. Sorry – not five but it is a much longer meal.’
‘A twelve course meal,’ Shiva said. ‘It starts with begun bhaja, luchi and chholar dal and ends with rasogolla and mishti doi. In between comes the pulao, topshey fry, murgir theng, dab chingri, kasha mangsho, aloo bakhra chutney. That adds up to a twelve course meal, right?’
Durga nodded as did Ganesh.
‘Moreover the so-called devotees are more devoted to setting fashion trends,’ Shiva went on. ‘The puja is supposed to start on Saptami but, pujas ae inaugurated much before that. Do you know why?'
‘Yes, I know,’ she replied. ‘It is because celebrities are overworked. They have to inaugurate so many big budget pujas and they can’t do that in one day. So – they have to spread it out over a period of time.’
Shiva grinned.
‘I will not criticize your beloved devotees,' he said. ‘Have a happy journey and be careful of the potholes.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

For pandal hoppers during Durga Pujas in Jamshedpur - try the pool bus service

Rejuvenate the lakes of Bengaluru - bring back the birds

Bengal unable to hold on to homegrown start-ups - they end up flourishing in other states


Lord Shiva in the world of deodorants (satire)

Didi off to Rome in search of goodies (satire)

Moody learns about honey traps (satire)


Syrian ceasefire breaks down - airstrike in Aleppo claims at least 45 civilian casualties

Construction begins on the Great Wall Of Calais to keep out illegal migrants

MI6 to recruit 1000 extra people to assist in solving modern day crimes


Tamil film Visaranai is India's official entry for Academy Awards 2017

Tension on the Indo-Pak border has its effect on Bollywood movies

Shah Rukh Khan could make a movie on tennis star Sania Mirza