Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Moody in deep trouble with river waters (satire)


Moody was jotting down points for his next monthly speech over the radio. He wanted to do so many things for the poor, especially ensuring lakhs and lakhs of toilets dotting the landscape. But, the sequence of events was taking him away from his objectives. There was the second infiltration and loss of several lives.
And, to add to that, he was having trouble with the river waters.
He was keen to clean the Ganges and create a Japan-like city on its banks. He longed to see steamers plying on the river carrying people from one place to another. He wanted water transport to share the burden of traffic. But, work on it was progressing too slowly. It could take another couple of centuries.
Then there was another river whose waters were shared by neighboring states. Here also there was continuous bickering about who will get how much water.
And, the latest river was one that originated in another country and, after passing through his own territory, emptied itself in a third country. This river was more important than the other two because it was a strategic option. If properly exploited, it could pay rich dividends.
As Moody was pondering over his line of action, the hotline rang. It was his really good friend Bee Rack O’Vama.
‘Hey man,’ he said. ‘What is this I hear? You want to block water supply to Na Buzz who is supposed to be your buddy?’
Moody gulped.
‘Why should I do that?’ he replied like a true leader. Answer awkward questions by posing a counter question. ‘Water is God’s gift and I cannot deny that to even my worst enemy.’
‘Worst enemy?’ Bee Rack was surprised. ‘I thought that you were real buddies. You had exchanged gifts.’
‘That is history,’ Moody sighed.
‘Why?’
‘He wanted something that I could not give.’
‘And – what was that?’
‘A crate of Alphonso mangoes. This year the quality of mangoes was bad so I could not agree. That made him angry.’
‘But don’t you think that waging a war over water is unbecoming of a man who boasted of his 56-inch-chest?’ Bee Rack asked.
Moody did not have a ready reply.
Suddenly the door to his office opened and Uma-ji entered. There were a number of files in her hand all marked Namami Gange. Behind her came the defense department people and external affairs team. Their files read Indus. And then there were others with files marked Cauvery and Teesta.
All the rivers were in spate and poor Moody was caught in the whirlpool. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

For pandal hoppers during Durga Pujas in Jamshedpur - try the pool bus service

Rejuvenate the lakes of Bengaluru - bring back the birds

Bengal unable to hold on to homegrown start-ups - they end up flourishing in other states


Lord Shiva in the world of deodorants (satire)

Didi off to Rome in search of goodies (satire)

Moody learns about honey traps (satire)


Syrian ceasefire breaks down - airstrike in Aleppo claims at least 45 civilian casualties

Construction begins on the Great Wall Of Calais to keep out illegal migrants

MI6 to recruit 1000 extra people to assist in solving modern day crimes


Tamil film Visaranai is India's official entry for Academy Awards 2017

Tension on the Indo-Pak border has its effect on Bollywood movies

Shah Rukh Khan could make a movie on tennis star Sania Mirza

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Lord Shiva in the world of deodorants (satire)


Lord Shiva had a lot of time on his hands because his better half Goddess Durga was busy preparing for her annual visit to her mother’s place. And, her children were also excited at the prospect of seeing and feeling the additions to the skyline that keep springing up everywhere.
Suddenly his trusted disciple Bhringi came up and drew him aside.
‘I hate to see you so lonely,’ he whispered.
‘I am waiting for them to leave,’ Shiva said. ‘Then I’ll have the whole of Mount Kailash to myself.’
‘I have an idea,’ Bhringi sidled up to him.
‘What?’ Shiva also lowered his voice.
‘Why don’t we go and visit one of those shopping malls?’
‘But I don’t need to buy anything.’
‘You don’t need to,’ Bhringi assured.
‘Why should anyone go to a shopping mall if he does not want to buy anything?’
‘The majority of them go for window shopping,’ Bhringi said. ‘Your bare body is OK, so is your long matted hair but, that tiger skin would not do.’
‘Why?’
'Tigers are a protected species and if anyone sees you in a tiger skin, they’ll put you behind bars.’
‘What is the solution?’
‘Give me a spare tiger skin and I’ll shape it into a Bermuda,’ Bhringi grinned. ‘Once the girls see you in that, they will want to take selfies with you.’
‘Selfies?’
‘Yes. That is the latest craze. They’ll presume that you are a celebrity of Bollywood or Tollywood or Hollywood or some other wood – and getting a selfie with you will boost their popularity among friends.’
And, so it came to pass that Lord Shiva and his trusted disciple landed up in one of the shopping malls in the City of Joy. At the entrance to one of the shops, enclosed in glass, were a bunch of boys and girls engaged in animated conversation.
‘What are they talking about?’ Shiva asked.
Bhringi eavesdropped and smiled.
‘They are discussing about a new brand of deo?’
‘Deo?’
‘Abbreviation for deodorant,’ Bhringi explained. ‘Obnoxious body odors ruin lives, especially for youngsters. And – good fragrance acts as magnet to attract the fair ones.’
‘You mean like animals who follow the scent to make a kill?’
‘Yes. Moreover, these deo manufacturers have spawned a whole new range of beauties who appear in ads. Their motto is to follow the scent and bag the prize.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Disneyland bans 25 things including selfie sticks in all its locations

Hillary Clinton has pneumonia - she fell ill at September 11 memorial

Lord Ganesh's laddu weighing 21-Kg auctioned for Rs 14.65 in Hyderabad


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi and her BMW dreams (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


Suicide bomb attack in Pakistani mosque during Friday prayers kill at least 25

Security beefed up for Munich Oktoberfest 2016

29 people injured in an explosion in New York - no evidence of any terror link


Shah Rukh's 'Fan' and Salman Khan's 'Sultan' to be screened at Busan International Film Festival

Sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy to release in US theaters on May 5, 2017

London-born singer Skepta wins the 25th Mercury prize fr his album Konnichiwa

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Didi’s version of ABCD - cycle to work to bypass potholes (satire)


Didi loves bicycles – she keeps gifting these to school children to teach them that going green is the mantra of today. Those who use these human propelled two wheelers never complain of potholes. They learn to circumvent such terror of the roads early in life and that strengthens their resolve to conquer any obstacle.
Moreover, bicycle industry does not require much land!
She called in Moo Cool, her Jack of all trades, and he came running into her office.
‘I just now had a fantastic idea,’ she said. ‘I am sure no one can ever think about it.’
‘Is it about Durga Puja inauguration schedule?’ Moo Cool asked cautiously. He had drawn up a schedule keeping in mind innumerable points so that she did not have any complaint. If she changed it now, his efforts would have gone waste and he would have to struggle because time was running out.
‘No. It is about cycles,’ Didi smiled. ‘Bicycles. They will solve plenty of problems related to the roads riddled with potholes.’
‘I have already dispatched 10,000 bicycles for the school children,’ Moo Cool said. ‘They will be there for distribution before you reach the venue.’
‘I know about that,’ Didi said. ‘I am thinking about manufacturing bicycles under the head of industry. We can borrow expertise from Punjab. My friend Cage Reball will help us out. He has promised to help me.’
‘That is good news,’ Moo Cool heaved a sigh of relief. ‘But – you mentioned potholes. And, they are not good news. We want foreigners to come here but the condition of roads are bad.’
‘Don’t lose heart,’ Didi assured. ‘We will provide them with palkis and horse drawn carriages. Such attention will win them over. It will help us to prove our commitment to have a clean, pollution free environment.’
‘But, how are bicycles and potholes related?’
‘Don’t you understand - their combination would generate employment,’ Didi sounded excited.
Moo Cool scratched his head.
‘Arrey bhai, potholes mean broken axles of cars and buses and trucks and damage to vehicles, right?’
Moo Cool nodded.
‘To take care of them, thousands of repair shops have already sprouted up all over the cities. And – self-employment has increased, right?'
Again Moo Cool nodded.
‘We will make cycling to work compulsory for all employees who live within a five kilometer radius of his or her office. That will generate still more self-employed people. They will man cycle repair shops.’
‘Didi,’ Moo Cool smiled. ‘You are a real genius.’
‘I know,’ she smiled. ‘We will also identify our ABCD and give an increment to those who cycle to work. For those who do not do so, we will penalize them by imposing a fine. We will change the work culture. We will promote the green concept.’
‘By the way, what exactly is this ABCD?’ Moo Cool appeared to be stumped.
‘All Bengal Cycling Day,’ Didi said. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Disneyland bans 25 things including selfie sticks in all its locations

Hillary Clinton has pneumonia - she fell ill at September 11 memorial

Lord Ganesh's laddu weighing 21-Kg auctioned for Rs 14.65 in Hyderabad


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi and her BMW dreams (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


Suicide bomb attack in Pakistani mosque during Friday prayers kill at least 25

Security beefed up for Munich Oktoberfest 2016

29 people injured in an explosion in New York - no evidence of any terror link


Shah Rukh's 'Fan' and Salman Khan's 'Sultan' to be screened at Busan International Film Festival

Sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy to release in US theaters on May 5, 2017

London-born singer Skepta wins the 25th Mercury prize fr his album Konnichiwa

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Moody is off mood – Na Buzz had fooled him again (satire)


Moody, like anybody else, wanted to enjoy his birthday. He wanted it to be a quiet affair but the media did not give him any elbow space. With nothing to talk about, they hit up on the plan to get him some sort of international recognition – one of them said: ‘let us keep count of people who wished him on his birthday.’
Anyway, Moody left it all to his PR men – they knew best how to project him where he would get talked about and benefit the most.
But – the phone call from his friend Bee Rack O’Vama shook him out of his slumber.
‘What man,’ Bee Rack sighed. ‘How can your security be so slack? How could they not know about the infiltrators?’
‘They had come dressed in our uniforms,’ Moody explained. ‘And – their hair was cropped like our men!’
Bee Rack sighed again.
‘You are planning to go to Mars but you don’t have any mechanism to identify the original from a duplicate!’ Bee Rack said. ‘Of course your movies are full of duplicates. But you must design some mechanism to prevent such attacks.’
‘It is all a fault of one of my neighbors.’
‘You mean the neighbor on whom you dropped in all of a sudden on his birthday?’
‘Yes. I had dropped in on him on his birthday to wish him and, on my birthday, his people kill my men!!’
Bee Rack disconnected the phone and Moody immediately convened a high level meeting with Pyari Kar, Rajanna King and Sue Sharma – they were all involved in looking after the defense aspects and foreign affairs.
‘How did it happen?’ he shot the question.
‘They took us by surprise,’ Pyari Kar replied. ‘It was early morning and the time of the day when the eyelids get heavy and it is difficult to keep them open.’
‘Moreover, they were dressed just like our own men,’ Rajanna King added.
‘Na Buzz has fooled us again,’ Sue Sharma ground her teeth in anger. ‘He is a slippery character and is buzzing all around the world and talking too much about the ‘K’ word at every forum.’
‘Not just slippery but more slippery than a snake dipped in oil,’ Moody added. ‘He will say something today and, do a ninety degree turn the next day. I never expected such behavior from him. I had believed him to be a true friend.’
‘We must teach him a lesson,’ Pyari Kar said. ‘We could do something similar to what they have done. The latest incident was nothing short of a betrayal. Just imagine an attack at dawn that killed a whole lot of innocent soldiers.'
‘I am hurt,’ Moody stared into the distance. ‘How could a leader who had exchanged gifts when we met for the first time do this to me?’
Just then his phone rang – it was Tressa May.
‘What is this I hear?’ she shrieked. ‘How could anyone fool you? Last time it was a group of men from across your border who were chasing runaway cows and entered your air base. What is it this time?’
‘I heard they were chasing some birds and lost their way,’ Moody replied. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Disneyland bans 25 things including selfie sticks in all its locations

Hillary Clinton has pneumonia - she fell ill at September 11 memorial

Lord Ganesh's laddu weighing 21-Kg auctioned for Rs 14.65 in Hyderabad


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi and her BMW dreams (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


Suicide bomb attack in Pakistani mosque during Friday prayers kill at least 25

Security beefed up for Munich Oktoberfest 2016

29 people injured in an explosion in New York - no evidence of any terror link


Shah Rukh's 'Fan' and Salman Khan's 'Sultan' to be screened at Busan International Film Festival

Sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy to release in US theaters on May 5, 2017

London-born singer Skepta wins the 25th Mercury prize fr his album Konnichiwa

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Lion King, Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse of Mount Kailash


As Goddess Durga and her family was engaged in small talks, in another part of Mount Kailash sat the group of animals who have become an integral part of Durga’s family. There was the Lion King, there was Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse apart from the Wise Owl and the peacock.
‘The visit down there is no longer interesting,’ Lion King moaned softly. ‘There is no jungle to romp about or chase animals.’
‘How come?’ Donald Duck quacked. ‘I keep hearing all the time about a flourishing Jungle Raj that makes things happen.’
‘That is the jungle of muscle men,’ Lion said. ‘The only jungle I know has trees and trees are hardly to be seen nowadays. They have been sacrificed to develop housing for the humans. I sometimes wonder how can they live copped up in such pigeon holes.’
‘I know how you feel,’ Donald Duck sighed. ‘Water bodies have also vanished and I miss the ponds and lakes.’
‘And – I keep sleeping,’ Wise Owl said. ‘Night never falls. There is so much artificial lighting and the merrymaking of revelers go on and on. I lose my appetite because unless night falls, I cannot go hunting for my food and have to remain hungry.’
Mickey Mouse now made his presence felt.
‘I also face difficult times when I go down there,’ he squeaked. ‘The cats have become lazy and do not chase us any longer. They cozy up with their owners and relax on sofas. They don’t need to hunt for food, it comes to them.’
‘The world is going topsy-turvy,’ Lion King yawned and stretched his muscles. ‘It is becoming monotonous trying to fight the Asuras – they are really indestructible and invincible. And – they actually keep changing their shapes. One minute they are so kind hearted, the next moment the devil in them rises.’
‘I can feel things will change,’ Wise Old Owl said.
‘Yes,’ Mickey Mouse nodded. ‘The bad ones need to be punished and Didi nows just how to get them in line.’
‘How?’ Donald Duck asked.
‘She will hold a meeting and ensure that everyone turns up to listen to her.’
‘Will they come?’
‘Of course they will come – it will be a picnic. They need not pay any fare and she will promise them a hearty breakfast of kochuri and jilepi, full lunch with machher jhol, plus tea and jhal muri. No Bengali can ignore such a spread.’
‘Where will the funds come from?’
‘From her paintings. She’ll paint a few masterpieces and sell them off.’
‘Fine. Then what?’
‘She will chide the bad ones. She will threaten them with dire consequences. And – they will never dare to go against her wishes.’
‘Good. But – will I get back my jungle?’ Lion King asked.
‘And – will I get back my pond?’ Donald Duck asked.
There was no response from the Wise Old Owl – he had fallen asleep. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Disneyland bans 25 things including selfie sticks in all its locations

Hillary Clinton has pneumonia - she fell ill at September 11 memorial

Lord Ganesh's laddu weighing 21-Kg auctioned for Rs 14.65 in Hyderabad


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi and her BMW dreams (satire)

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


Suicide bomb attack in Pakistani mosque during Friday prayers kill at least 25

Security beefed up for Munich Oktoberfest 2016

29 people injured in an explosion in New York - no evidence of any terror link


Shah Rukh's 'Fan' and Salman Khan's 'Sultan' to be screened at Busan International Film Festival

Sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy to release in US theaters on May 5, 2017

London-born singer Skepta wins the 25th Mercury prize fr his album Konnichiwa

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Goddess Durga and her kids wait for the annual bash (satire)


‘How are the preparations going on?’ Lord Shiva asked to nobody in particular. He seemed to be off mood because, once Durga leaves with her kids for her mother’s home, he would be left alone to fend for himself. It was an annual affair and he had got used to it – he would enjoy the freedom.
‘The number of pujas are increasing,’ Saraswati said. ‘Kids today do not pray any longer for my intervention - they have got addicted to coaching classes and are scoring nearly full marks.’
‘I know,’ Lakshmi joined in the conversion. ‘They have unearthed innumerable methods to make money and are deserting me.’
‘You are so very right,’ Ganesh intervened. ‘Earlier, only a section of people used to worship me in Bengal. But, today, the numbers have increased. They seek my blessings for their investments in chit funds. My image is taking a beating.’
Kartika had been a silent spectator till now.
‘And what is your opinion?’ Durga prodded him. ‘You are the one who is supposed to make the fashion statement.’
‘Fashion is not there anymore,’ Kartika sighed. ‘Actors go bare bodied, actresses wear the skimpiest of dresses. And – it is not due to fashion but due to convenience.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Have you seen them dance?’
‘Yes. Every movie has dance sequences. That is the tradition.’
‘Right. But – the nature of the dance has changed. Today it is all about throwing your hands and legs in all directions. And – to perform such antics, one cannot be tied down in too much dress. It is the requirement – like in sports. Those who run to win medals wear the scantiest of dress – just to ensure respectability.’
‘Where does that leave you?’ Durga asked.
‘Stranded,’ Kartika replied.
‘Actually, Bengalis are gradually losing their culture,’ Durga sighed. ‘They want everything on a platter. Gone are the days when the women would think up new recipes to win the hearts of her family members.’
‘They don’t have time to think about such trivialities,’ Shiva murmured from his corner.
‘You can’t blame the women,’ Durga protested. ‘They now chip in with their salaries to enjoy the goodies that life has to offer.’
‘I know,’ Shiva grinned. ‘I can see that from the huge crowds in the pandals – they do not have time to pray to you. They are busy taking selfies and wondering about the table booked in the restaurant to enjoy over long forgotten Bengali menus.’
Ganesh strolled up stroking his paunch.
‘I should now,’ he said. ‘The restaurants have master chefs who try hard to replicate the recipes of their mothers and grandmothers.’
‘And – the owners roll in money while the patrons roll in agony - at the size of the bill.’
‘One has to pay to enjoy the good things of life,’ Durga became philosophical. ‘Everything comes with a price tag.’(to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Clicking selfie with Ma Durga may be banned in Kolkata

Tackle the obesity crisis by outdoor activities like gardening

Cable cars stranded over Mont Blanc - 45 tourists had to spend the night suspended in air


Moody and the cow syndrome (satire)

Didi off to Rome in search of goodies (satire)

Lord Shiva and the auto hub that did not happen (satire)


At least 100 killed in airstrikes in Syria before ceasefire begins

Hillary Clinton reiterates that US will not put ground troops in Iraq and Syria

Abandoned car with gas cylinders found near Notre Dame cathedral


MTV's Video Music Awards in New York - Beyonce walked away with top honours

Sonakshi Sinha breaks bones and throws punches in Akira

Lindsay Lohan wants to participate in a Russian talk show with President Putin


Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan to star together in Thugs of Hindostan

Dwayne Bravo says Deepika Padukone is his favourite star

Hollywood inequality - women hardly get a chance to speak

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Didi and her BMW dreams (satire)


On the journey back home to Kolkata, our beloved Didi was trying to evaluate her gains on this trip to Germany. She seldom went out of the country and this was her third outing in search of industries. She had been to Singapore, then to London and now Germany. She had received assurances but nothing worth talking about had emerged.
Suddenly her mobile rang –it was her trusted lieutenant Moo Cool.
‘How did it all go?’ he asked.
‘Difficult to assess,’ she admitted. ‘I want to show the world that BMW is our watchword.’
‘Have they given any hints?’
‘I don’t want hints,’ Didi sounded hurt. ‘When I want something, I get it – by hook or by crook. I know how to bend my fingers. Tell me – how are things shaping up? How many have deserted their parties and joined ours?’
Moo Cool laughed.
‘They keep coming,’ he said. ‘Very soon, there won’t be any opposition.’
‘That is what I want,’ Didi said. ‘Opposition means interference and delays. I want things to go smoothly. Already I have controlled the bandhs and brought back good work culture among the employees. That is what foreign investors want.’
‘But – the potholes are an eyesore,’ Moo Cool reminded.
‘Don’t worry,’ Didi assured. ‘We will ferry them by choppers. They need not fear the bumps and jumps. Those are for the local people and the media – they also need some topics to talk about to raise storms in teacups. There are so many TV channels and so many reporters, especially the girls – they have to earn their living.’
‘Really Didi, you have a remarkable eye for details,’ Moo Cool was all praises. ‘You know all the tricks of the trade. Your road to Delhi is going to be a smooth one.’
‘Remember – the message is BMW.’
‘You mean BMW has agreed to set up a factory here?’
‘Don’t be so naïve, Rome was not built in a day. Everything needs a gestation period.’
‘It should not go into cold storage.’
‘BMW will always be in the news. BMW – Bangla Means Womanpower.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Clicking selfie with Ma Durga may be banned in Kolkata

Tackle the obesity crisis by outdoor activities like gardening

Cable cars stranded over Mont Blanc - 45 tourists had to spend the night suspended in air


Moody and the cow syndrome (satire)

Didi off to Rome in search of goodies (satire)

Lord Shiva and the auto hub that did not happen (satire)


At least 100 killed in airstrikes in Syria before ceasefire begins

Hillary Clinton reiterates that US will not put ground troops in Iraq and Syria

Abandoned car with gas cylinders found near Notre Dame cathedral


Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan to star together in Thugs of Hindostan

Dwayne Bravo says Deepika Padukone is his favourite star

Hollywood inequality - women hardly get a chance to speak

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Moody learns about honey traps (satire)


Even after being in office for more than two years, Moody still finds himself as helpless as a fish out of the water. He is now admired all over the world as a leader who can make things happen and the world listens to him when he talks.
But – he appears to have failed in his attempts to woo over one of his neighbors. He began with exchange of gifts and followed it up with a sudden visit. Unfortunately, his efforts have not borne any fruit.
Suddenly his hot line rang. It was his friend Bee Rack O’Vama.
‘Hi,’ he greeted Moody. ‘I hear you want Na Buzz to dance to your tune.’
‘I am a great dance master,’ Moody said. ‘I can do the garba and bhangra and the kathak. Wherever I go, I don their dresses and make them dance to my tunes. I have mastered the art. But – I wonder why I am unable to get Na Buzz fall in line.’
‘You must cultivate the art of honey traps,’ Bee Rack said. They will always pay dividends.’
‘Honey traps?’ Moody was surprised. ‘Actually, honey is a different matter altogether. My trusted friend Baba Someday is a master in extracting honey from unwilling bees – he makes the world’s best honey.’
‘Honey trap has no relation with bees.’
‘Then?’
‘It is a method to influence stubborn people, especially politicians,’ Bee Rack explained. ‘Those who set the traps are experts and level of satisfaction is of a very high order.’
‘I’ll ask my men to get more information on this.’
‘I think Emma Melanie could help you out,’ Bee Rack said. ‘She will know some of the tricks. A good student of honey trap must be a good actor and you have quite a few actors in your fold.’
Bee Rack hung up and Moody asked his secretary to send in Pyari Kar, Sue Sharma, Ranee-ji and Emma Melanie.
Since his worries were centered on Na Buzz, he wanted his foreign team for brainstorming. He must recreate a sense of bonhomie with his hard-to-get neighbor. And, if a suitable honey trap could be set up to snare him, it would solve plenty of problems.
When they were all seated, Moody looked up.
‘Have you heard about honey traps?’ he asked.
His audience squirmed uneasily in their seats.
‘If you have not heard then search and get the information,’ Moody said. ‘Then let us plan to set a honey trap.’ Suddenly Baba Someday burst into the room – perspiration glistening on his body.
‘This is not right Moody-ji,’ he complained. ‘You are discussing honey and have forgotten me who is master in all aspects of honey from honey bees to honeymoon.’
‘We are discussing honey traps,’ Moody said with a straight face.
‘What is that?’
‘Yes. That is what we are trying to find out.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Didi meets Puja organisers and outlines her do's and dont's

Researchers unearth reasons of why people snore

Population of blackbuck in Bareilly district have fallen by more than 71% in three years


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi to search for the stolen gold medallion (satire)

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)


Man slips while watching bull running in Spain and gored to death

Suicide bomb and gun attacks in northwestern Pakistan leave at least 13 dead

Explosion in a street market in Philipines kills at least 12


MTV's Video Music Awards in New York - Beyonce walked away with top honours

Sonakshi Sinha breaks bones and throws punches in Akira

Lindsay Lohan wants to participate in a Russian talk show with President Putin

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Lord Shiva and the auto hub that did not happen (satire)


Durga was happy that there was hardly one month left to go before she would make the annual journey to her mother’s place. But, she was worried about Lord Shiva. He seemed to be having a lot of worries.
‘What is preying on your mind?’ she asked him.
He gave a dry smile.
‘No, it is not what you think,’ he assured her. ‘I know that you are excited about your trip. I have got used to it. My disciples Nandi and Bhringi will keep me company as always.’
‘And – you will go high on the weeds,’ Durga said.
‘That is my way to maintain my balance,’ Shiva grinned.
‘Then what is biting you?’
‘It is that auto hub that finally did not happen,’ Shiva sighed. ‘The court has given its decision and the farmers will get back their land.’
‘They are happy,’ Durga said. ‘They are farmers and love the soil. They want to grow their crops and are not interested in making automobiles.’
‘Actually, they are a divided lot,’ Shiva murmured. ‘One group wants it. Another group does not want it. And, the leaders are laying a dangerous game.’
‘I saw in the TV news just now - a group of people have gone to Germany. They want to bring home German automobiles. But – where will they give them land?’
‘German cars are really small,’ Durga explained. ‘They do not need too much land. Moreover, they can go in for three or four tier manufacture. That way, the need for land will reduce. And, I believe, one section of farmers actually want an auto hub in the same plot of land.’
‘But – I saw bulldozers tearing up the roads and mowing down the grass.’
‘That is how change takes place. Keep the main idea intact and add frills so that there is happiness all around.’ ‘You mean it’s a game?’
‘Yes. They will rebuild them,’ Durga said. ‘I know. The syndicate is ready to take over when the bulldozers call it a day. The leaders play to the gallery. They repackage old wine in a new bottle. Everyone does it.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Didi meets Puja organisers and outlines her do's and dont's

Researchers unearth reasons of why people snore

Population of blackbuck in Bareilly district have fallen by more than 71% in three years


Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)

Didi to search for the stolen gold medallion (satire)

Lord Shiva stumped by the sea of humanity on 21st (satire)


Man slips while watching bull running in Spain and gored to death

Suicide bomb and gun attacks in northwestern Pakistan leave at least 13 dead

Explosion in a street market in Philipines kills at least 12


MTV's Video Music Awards in New York - Beyonce walked away with top honours

Sonakshi Sinha breaks bones and throws punches in Akira

Lindsay Lohan wants to participate in a Russian talk show with President Putin

Friday, September 2, 2016

Didi off to Rome in search of goodies (satire)


It was an invitation from The Vatican she just could not miss. It was the canonization of Mother Teresa who was dear to not only Didi’s heart but to all downtrodden. And Didi seized the opportunity to move out of her known circle to visit an unknown land in the hope of bringing home some some goodies. Yes, she needed them badly.
Moo Cool met her at the airport before her departure.
‘Any good news,’ Didi asked him.
‘We are becoming a big force to reckon with,’ he whispered.
‘I know,’ she said. ‘I have decimated the opposition.’
‘Actually, there is no opposition,’ Moo Cool said. ‘You have put the fear of God into them and they have become meek lambs.’
‘What about our Delhi goals?’
‘We are getting recognition as a national party. That will boost our chances in 2019.’
Suddenly her mobile rang. It was Abhi Shake on the line – he informed her that the so-called bandh is fizzling out. There are buses on the roads, people are seen on the streets, and shops have opened. Didi was happy. She had taken a tough stand and it has paid off.
‘Most of the buses are empty,’ Abhi added.
‘That is not important,’ she said. ‘The fact is that there are buses plying.’
‘What about gully cricket matches?’ Didi asked.
‘I could not see any such activity,’ Abhi replied.
‘What a change,’ Didi sighed. ‘Bandh meant all activities were banned except gully cricket. I have changed that concept.’
The mobile rang again. It was now Dee Wreck on the line.
‘The staff in Nabanna are enjoying their picnic,’ he said. ‘The menu was fantastic. Fish fry, mutton curry, alu dum, luchi, rasogolla, mishit doi.’
‘Are they happy?’
‘They are. But, they want something more to remain happy.’
‘What do they want now?’
‘An extra holiday during the Puja festival.’
‘My naughty boys must have their fun,’ Didi grinned and moved towards the departure lounge. Her mind was busy with her future activities. She wanted to drop in on a few countries on the way back home. She wanted to woo a few investors. She had heard that Germany made small cars – and, she had links to Germany though Netaji. His wife was a German lady. Could Germany be persuaded to invest in Bangla? (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Cannes bans burkinis on its beaches due to terror threats

Street vendors in Bengaluru want to remain open and do business till 1am

Karnataka bans selfies in specific tourist spots like waterfalls, dams, cliffs etc


Didi’s naughty boys tie her up in knots (satire)

Lord Shiva loves and enjoys dancing (satire)

Moody discusses women’s fashion with Baba Someday (satire)


War waged on ISIS by the US and UK has destroyed 26000 targets

France to impart lessons in schools on survival techniques in case of ISIS attacks

Suspected chlorine gas attack in Aleppo kill at least four


Action hero and Rustom star Akshay Kumar talks about daredevil stunts

'Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah' crosses 2000 episodes - enters Limca Book of Records

Next James Bond movie would not come before 2018

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Moody wants Gold medals from Olympics (satire)


Moody was all praises for the participants of the 2016 Rio Olympics but was saddened at the lack of gold medals – gold is the accepted recognition and when tiny nondescript countries can boast of a crop of gold, such is not the case with Moody’s land of several billion.
Moody therefore called in his team of specialists – Jet Lee, Sue Sharma, Uma-ji, Ranee-ji, Hash Budden, Baba Someday, Emma Melaney, Pro Cash, Banka Nadoo and Rum Mudda. Each of them was a gem and could contribute to the cause.
‘Koel-ji,’ Moody looked towards Vee Jay Koel who had a close association with the Olympics team in Rio. ‘You have seen the Olympics from very close quarters. What is your impression? Why could others bag so many gold but not us?’ ‘It is their attitude,’ Koel-ji said. ‘They train from the KG stage – and aim for the gold.’
‘Why can’t we do it here?’ Moody asked.
‘Who said we can’t?’ Koel retorted.
‘Then let us do it,’ Moody said. ‘All the heads are here today and we can work out a strategy.’
‘We could concentrate on swimming,’ Koel-ji said. ‘Our children swim to their schools and there is a cry to build bridges to cross the rivers. I think we should not do that.’
‘Nonsense,’ Moody said. ‘We must look after their welfare. They are our assets.’
‘I know,’ Koel-ji smiled. ‘We will give them swimwear and encourage them to swim to school. Give award to kids who prove their stamina.’
Jet Lee now cleared his throat.
‘Actually, here our farmers toil in the fields to grow crops – but, that does not get us any gold,’ he said. ‘We must train them to always have the concept of gold in front of their eyes.’
‘I can help in this respect,’ Baba Someday intervened.
‘Let us hear your idea,’ Moody glanced towards the shiny black beard of the Baba.
‘I can rename the fertilizers as Gold fertilizers,’ he said. ‘And my ad pitch for it would be – use bags of Gold to bag Olympics Gold.’
It was now the turn of Pro Cash to have his say. He was the man responsible to develop human resources.
‘In my opinion, we have a brilliant pool of gold medalists who break their heads to unearth IT solutions,’ Pro Cash said. ‘They are in great demand abroad. It is difficult for them to divert their attention to Olympics Gold.’ Moody laughed.
‘Exceptions can always emerge,’ he said. ‘There are engineers who are stars in cricket. Then why can’t a gold medalist in computers bag a gold in shooting? That does not require physical strength like in boxing or wrestling or in gymnastics or in marathon running.’
Pro Cash gulped.
‘I think we can take inspiration from some famous songs,’ Emma Melaney said. ‘Songs like ‘mera dharti sona ugle, ugle heera moti …’
‘Let me make it clear,’ Moody spoke again. ‘We must reverse the trend. I want our sportspersons to bag golds – one for each state.’(to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org


Some more interesting links -

Cannes bans burkinis on its beaches due to terror threats

Street vendors in Bengaluru want to remain open and do business till 1am

Karnataka bans selfies in specific tourist spots like waterfalls, dams, cliffs etc


Didi’s naughty boys tie her up in knots (satire)

Lord Shiva loves and enjoys dancing (satire)

Moody discusses women’s fashion with Baba Someday (satire)


War waged on ISIS by the US and UK has destroyed 26000 targets

France to impart lessons in schools on survival techniques in case of ISIS attacks

Suspected chlorine gas attack in Aleppo kill at least four


Action hero and Rustom star Akshay Kumar talks about daredevil stunts

'Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah' crosses 2000 episodes - enters Limca Book of Records

Next James Bond movie would not come before 2018