Madame Tussauds welcomes Moody – Didi waits for her turn (satire)

Moody was excited – he is finally getting international recognition in the galleries of Madame Tussauds and would be standing tall alongside his pals Bee Rack O'Vama, Day Weed and others.
He had already received congratulatory messages from his colleagues because he was one of a few Indian leaders who had entered the portals of history. He did have a few jitters because in the galleries were several Indian beauties of the silver screen and they were, to him, avoidable distractions.
Yes, he had to admit that he felt weak at the knees in front of women who oozed charms. But, there was one woman he would have liked to be near him in Madame Tussauds – she was Didi.

He reached for his telephone and was lucky to get her at the first attempt.
‘Didi, how are things shaping up?’ he asked.
‘Nothing is happening the way I want,’ she complained.
‘Why? I have told my men to help you in your plans,’ he said.
‘I am just not able to see how they are helping. Those people came down from Delhi and made fun of me. I can understand some Hindi but they talk so fast and have so different accents that I can’t follow what they are saying.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Moody gave a light laugh. ‘I think you know that I will be in London for life.’
‘What?’ Didi was shocked. ‘Then who will run the country? What will happen to our dreams of Utopia? And the cleaning of the Ganga? And the unearthing of black money?’
‘I was joking,’ Moody assured her. ‘My wax model will be in the Tussauds museum.’
‘Oh. And, how did you manage it?’
‘It just happened,’ Moody said. ‘One day they called me up and then sent across their artists. They came with all sorts of gadgets and measured me hundreds of times. I had to spare time for them.’
‘Why are you telling me all this?’ Didi was cautious.
‘I want you to be with me in the museum,’ Moody said. ‘You also are a great leader and must get recognition.’
‘I am thankful that you want me near you. But – I have my own problems. And – I cannot devote time for such projects. Painting is my hobby and, in fact, I have very little spare time. My painting work is badly affected. I think the last canvas I did was five years back – during the agitation to drive out the small car unit.’
‘Don’t worry Didi,’ Moody was in a light mood. ‘I’ll talk to the museum.’
But Didi cut him short.
‘I have heard that they keep changing the location of the models. And – one day they could send us to the Chamber of Horrors with models of Jack the Ripper and Adolf Hitler.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Baba Someday’s Pat & Jolie to create an Indian Disneyland (satire)

Moody heard the news of Baba Someday waxing eloquent over his Pat & Jolie outfit that was going great guns and doing a roaring business in products that ranged from noodles and biscuits to tooth paste and face cream with pure cow ghee thrown in for good measure.
Suddenly his hot line rang – the caller was Bee Rack O’Vama.
‘Hey man,’ Bee Rack’s voice came across loud and clear. ‘Why are you hitting below the belt?’
‘I never hit below the belt,’ Moody replied. ‘In fact I never hit anyone. My policy is to win others over with love. If anyone hits me, I offer the other face to him so that he can repeat his actions again.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Bee Rack said. ‘No one does that. Not in this twenty-first century. I am talking about this Baba character. I believe he wants to take over our businesses and has his eyes on a Disneyland of his own.’

Moody gulped. He has told Baba Someday repeatedly to maintain a low profile but he has gone overboard in his enthusiasm and Moody would now have to pacify Bee Rack O’Vama and others. Baba’s announcements would queer the pitch for Moody’s Make in India initiatives.
‘Do you mean Baba Someday, the yoga expert?’
‘Yes. His Pat & Jolie outfit is into all sorts of products and he seems to be determined to wipe out all foreign competition. He even has zeroed on a site to create his version of our Disneyland! And – you are inviting us to join your Make in India initiative? Does it not amount to a conflict of interests?’
‘My dear Bee Rack, ours is a huge country and there is plenty scope for your business to flourish alongside Baba’s,’ Moody explained.
Bee Rack rang off and this time Moody’s external phone rang. It was a direct line known to only a few selected world leaders.
The caller was Day Weed. He was also apprehensive and, by the time Moody calmed him down, Angel Miracle rang up followed by Fancy Holland and Vladdy Putty. All of them were worried. All of them wanted to be a part of the Make in India projects but if Baba Someday takes over all businesses from foreigners, where would it leave them? What would happen to their biscuits and noodles and face creams and fruit juices? (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Didi and the unique case of morphed photo (satire)

Didi never bothers about what anyone says, she has a certain fixed idea in her mind and she believes in pursuing an agenda totally of her own. And, to assist her in activities, she has at her disposal a group of sincere and dedicated supporters who never blink an eye – even when the chips are down.
She was on her innumerable tours to the remote corners to bring home the message to the masses that she is their only savior and, it was during one of these sojourns that she heard about the bombshell. It was about some of her men (and women) who had gone beyond the call of duty and had got involved in some dealings that were not quite what she had expected.
‘Find a way out,’ she told Moo Cool – he was a person who had a ready solution to any problem, no matter how complicated.
‘You mean we must use a thorn to weed out the thorn?’ Moo Cool asked.

‘I don’t need to spell it out to you,’ Didi said. ‘’You have been with me long enough to know what I mean.’
‘Very well,’ Moo Cool replied. ‘I’ll teach them not to interfere in our methods. They have shown some people accepting money. Therefore, I’ll send across a couple of my men who will also offer money to one of their leaders.’
‘And, get the media involved. They’ll jump at the chance of laying hands on some spicy matter.’
‘OK – it’ll all be done. You can go ahead with your task of winning friends and influencing people.’
Didi was satisfied but Moo Col’s plan did not work out as planned. The target went ahead and lodged a police complaint and even reported the matter to his bosses in Delhi. The result – more confusion and, brickbats from all quarters.
When Didi got the message, she was furious. She never wanted to annoy or antagonize the people in Delhi. Therefore, she now rang up Dee Wreck, the wizard of social media.
‘I want some action,’ she said. ‘One plan has misfired. Think up another one – and, it must not blow up in our face.’ ‘I think we can go in for morphing,’ Dee Wreck suggested.
‘Morphing? What is that? I have heard of morphine – it’s a medicine,’ Didi was surprised. ‘Are you suggesting that we use some tantric medicine on them?’
‘No. I mean use latest technology to create illusions,’ Dee Wreck explained.
‘Please explain,’ Didi said.
‘Morphing is the art of altering appearance through computer programs. One can modify any image and replace the face of one person with the head of another.’
‘You mean the photo of Moo Cool eating rasogollas will be altered to show that you, and not Moo Cool, are eating rasogollas?’
‘Yes, that’s the idea.’
Unfortunately, this plan also fell flat on its face because the artist had chosen the wrong one. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

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Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

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Moody wonders why American space research firms are jittery (satire)

They had assembled in the chamber of our good friend Moody – there was Hash Budden who looked after science and technology along with Jet Lee, Nitty Gadcurry, Baba Someday, Sue Sharma and even the ladies Uma-jee and Rane-ji.
Hash Budden was excited because news had come about superiority of our scientists – it seems America space giants wants restrictions to be imposed on our space agencies. Obviously, there was fear that products like Mangalyaan could spell doom for their pet projects related to space exploration.
Hash Budden had the newspaper clipping with him and he handed it to Moody who read it and reached for his intercom.
‘Get me Williams,’ Moody spoke into the intercom.

‘You mean Prince William?’ Moody’s PA asked. ‘He has already left.’
‘I know. I mean the Williams girl from Gujarat,’ Moody said.
His PA scratched his head, unable to pinpoint the individual who the Boss wanted to talk to.
‘Arrey, I want that Williams who had gone to space,’ Moody clarified.
‘Oh, you mean the astronaut Sue Neeta Williams who had come to visit us?’
‘Yes, I want to talk to her. She must be knowing what is brewing in space.’
But Sue Neeta was not readily available – she was in the gym and could not be disturbed.
‘Why are the Americans jittery?’ Moody leaned forward and wanted to know from Hash Budden.
‘They are envious of our low cost satellites and other space items. They feel we will spoil their lucrative business.’
‘I knew this would happen,’ Moody turned to Baba Someday. ‘Our forefathers invented the pushpak rath long before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane. Remember Ravana who kidnapped Sita Mata and flew off to Sri Lanka in his airborne chariot?’
‘Yes,’ Baba Someday stroked his beard and muttered. ‘Not just the flying chariot but we discovered the zero.’
‘And,’ Nitty Gadcurry added. ‘Some of our people have already settled on the Moon.’
‘You mean the Malayalees and the Coorgis?’ Sue Sharma asked.
‘Yes,’ Gadcurry elaborated. ‘There are Malayalees who have set up facilities for remolding of tyres. Then there are the Kamats who have established outlets for idli, and dosa. And our Gujju friends who are ready with their dhoklas.’
Moody looked hard at Gadcurry.
‘How authentic is your information?’ Moody asked.
‘Hundred percent,’ Niity smiled. ‘Baba Someday will vouch for me. He makes regular visits to the Moon to train his boys for our Mars mission.’
‘But then, how is it that the American astronauts who had landed on the Moon did not see these men?’
‘They must have landed on the wrong face of the Moon,’ Hash Budden explained. ‘The Moon like everything else has two faces.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Lord Shiva pities the people who try to beat the heat (satire)

It was afternoon and Lord Shiva had finished his lunch. Then, with nothing much to do, he took the binoculars and sat beneath the shade of the banyan tree. He began to peer at the people on the streets.
Durga has also sidled up to him.
‘What do you see?’ she asked.
‘People who are trying to beat the heat,’ Shiva replied.
Durga laughed.
‘It is summer and bound to be hot and humid – it’s an annual phenomenon and people should get used to it. This is planet Earth and it will always be hot in summer.’
‘Still they love to listen to the weather man who is always serious,’ Shiva muttered. ‘His prophecies are meaningless because no one can predict the weather.’
‘Don’t blame him, he has a duty to perform,’ Durga said. ‘He is employed by the Met Department and has to have his say. Anyway – what do you see happening down below?’

‘Roads look deserted, umbrellas are in plenty, the women have their faces covered, there are queues in front of stalls selling cold drinks, there is a rush for lassis and even sugarcane juice and plain water with a dash of nimbu – a mockery for nimbu pani.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘From the look on the faces of those who are buying it.’
‘Focus on the banks of the Hoogly – what do you see?’
‘Right now it all looks empty.’
‘But – things would be totally different if there was some cricket match,’ Durga said. ‘People are crazy for cricket. Moody should declare it as the national game and ask his sports ministry to take it over and introduce a uniform policy for players.’
‘You mean he should ask the players to wear uniforms? Like khaki half pants?’
‘That is a possibility,’ Durga said. ‘Right now there is a gross disparity in their earnings. Those who do not perform earn much more than those who do. And – there is no age limit.’
‘That is the problem,’ Lord Shiva sighed. ‘The summer heat is on the rise – a result of deforestation and industrialization. The extent of pollution is going out of control. Why do they not stop manufacturing automobiles?’
Suddenly Vishwakarma materialized from nowhere.
‘Please do not interfere in my affairs,’ he cautioned Lord Shiva. ‘Industry is my headache, not yours.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


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Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Moody gives Sue Sharma a chance to go abroad (satire)

Moody is seldom in any dilemma. He is always one step ahead of others and has mastered the art of always being in the limelight. But, there comes a time in the life of every man when he finds himself at the crossroads and has to make a judicious decision.
Therefore it came to pass that he called in his elite group of most trusted lieutenants and announced his decision. ‘I think Sue Sharma will be the best choice,’ he said.
Sue Sharma appeared surprised while Jet Lee and Nitty Gadcurry exchanged glances and Baba Someday looked at Ranee-ji and Uma-ji and shrugged his shoulders.
‘Yes,’ Moody clarified. ‘I will be busy with my tours to the states because my voice can win over the people from there into our camp. I want to see lotuses flourish everywhere.’

‘And – Sue Sharma-ji will make the trips to follow up the latest development on the port in Iran and also have talks with the leaders behind the bamboo curtain on terrorism, right?’ Jet Lee asked.
‘Yes,’ Moody said. ‘Only – Sue-ji must wear something that does not hurt the feelings of our hosts. They are very conservative, especially with their attire.’
‘The women there cover their body from head to toe with their unique dress. And – the cover must include the hair also.’
‘I know,’ Sue Sharma said. ‘I’ll never wear anything that will harm our interests. I, like all of us here, want good relation with everybody. I will be a brand ambassador for our country and will always have an eye open for business potentials.’
‘Yes – keep in mind our buzzwords,’ Moody reminded. ‘Skill, digital, swatchh, make - and, it all has to do with our country. We want to shed all the earlier tags and prosper.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Sue assured. ‘I know the tricks of the trade.’
‘The bamboo curtain people are two faced,’ Moody cautioned. ‘They lost out on the bullet train and are trying to twist our arm on the terrorism affair.’
‘I will take care of that,’ Sue smiled. ‘I can put a spoke in their plans to market their cheap decorative garlands this Diwali.’
‘Yes,’ Baba Someday was all ears. ‘I have set up a separate factory to manufacture those multicolored garlands and the products will hit the markets before Diwali. I can easily ease out foreign competition.’
When Sue Sharma left the chamber, she was in high spirits. At last she was getting some sort of recognition. Probably her boss was tired of spending his days and nights cooped up in the aircraft on the tarmac. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Lord Shiva intrigued by the writing on the walls (satire)

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)


Taj Mumbai welcomes Prince William and Kate, the fourth generation of British monarchy

Huge 26ft python found in Penang - could become a new a Guinness Record holder

Lok Sabha ethics committee probing Narada sting feels the videos are genuine


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


James Cameron, writer director of Avatar, promises his fans four sequels

'Deadpool' sequel planned and in the pipeline with Ryan Reynolds

Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Didi wants to move around fast and wants a solution (satire)

Didi has, of late, been losing her sleep. She is a sincere politician who believes in maintaining a clean slate and sleep, to her is just a few hours of zooming in and out of a world devoid of the dirt and grime of politics.
Moo Cool did not miss the signs. He was an old hand at the game and knew just how to soothe the nerves of others.
‘Would you like to use the helicopter again?’ he asked Didi.
‘Yes, I want one,’ she replied. ‘Actually, I wish I had wings built into my body. Then I could take off like the birds and land wherever I want.’

‘That would be a wonderful idea,’ Moo Cool nodded.
‘If you want, I can float the proposal on our website,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘We have bright young men and women who can develop such a machine. And - we can even market it.’
‘I think that would be a proposal worth looking into,’ Omit Misra said. ‘It would fall in the category of industries and would generate employment also.’
‘What about land?’ Didi asked.
‘We will ask the designers to design it in such a way that requirement of land is kept to the minimum.’
‘We could name it Icarus Industries – or Double I,’ Dee Wreck said. ‘We could invite participation of the Greeks because Icarus was a Greek.’
‘It is all Latin and Greek to me,’ Didi sighed. ‘I want a comfortable mode of transport. The road journeys take up too much time and I get tired sitting cooped up for hours on end. I want a solution.’
‘I have a suggestion,’ Abhi Shake spoke.
‘What is it?’ Didi looked at him.
‘We could go in for drones,’ Abhi said. ‘That is the latest in flying. Online shopping portals are planning to use drones for delivery of their products. We could have drones to transport one person to a predetermined location. And – there would be no need for pilots. It would be programed in advance.’
Didi looked at Dee Wreck.
‘I think you can give this some thought,’ she said. ‘This could be another proposal for an industry.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

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Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

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Lord Ganesha is not happy with Poila Boishakh (satire)

Lord Ganesha was in a bad mood – it was Poila Boishakh and it should have been a good day with plenty of admirers who would be performing pujas to please him. He would be on call every minute from his devotees. But – the charm usually associated with the occasion was missing.
Lord Shiva watched him from a distance and turned to Durga who was sitting on a nearby hillock on Mount Kailash. ‘Our son appears to have something on his mind,’ he said.
‘Yes,’ Durga agreed. ‘I have been watching him since morning. He is not happy. Today is New Year and everyone connected with business big or small prays to Ganesha to be at their side to help the earnings.’

‘I know, that has been the tradition,’ Shiva said. ‘It is all about loyalty. Those who are in business welcome their customers and would-be customers. They put some money in the donation box and get in return a packet of sweets and a Bengali calendar. Some even offer fresh lime juice.’
‘Those times have gone into the history books,’ Saraswati joined the conversation.
‘You mean people have stopped doing business?’ Shiva asked.
‘No Daddy, they have revolutionized the concept of doing business,’ Saraswati explained. ‘Over the counter sales is making way for online trading. Money does not change hands – cards are swiped.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Plastic money is taking over from those loose coins and dirty soiled and tattered notes.’
“But how do they maintain records of their money? What about those huge book of accounts that they would worship on this auspicious day?’
Saraswati laughed at Shiva’s ignorance.
‘It is the world of IT – accounts are maintained on Excel worksheets.’
Lord Ganesha sauntered into view with his mouse tagging along. Both looked forlorn.
‘The number of people who worship their red colored ledger books has reduced drastically,’ he said. ‘They have forgotten my existence.’
‘My dear brother,’ Sarasawati consoled him. ‘Try to live with the times. When manual account keeping was King, you had millions of followers. But – today’s world is fast paced and automation is taking over.’
‘Then how do they celebrate Poila Boishakh?’
‘They eat out. They book seats in the hotels to enjoy pure Bengali cuisine.’
‘And – pay with credit cards?’ Ganesh asked.
‘Exactly – the account keeping is accurate and foolproof and the figures are always kept updated. No hanky-panky.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody’s policy – love thy neighbor (satire)

Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

Narad queers the pitch for Didi & Co (satire)


France continues to attract tourists despite the terror attacks

Summer sees high occupancy rates in Kanpur cinema halls

Five killed in sightseeing helicopter crash near Great Smokey Mountains National Park


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Tom Hiddleston denies that he would be next James Bond

“Sicario 2” - Emily Blunt, Josh Brolin and Benicio Del Toro will team up again

Moody hates hotels and feels more at home in his aircraft (satire)

It was a conference of world leaders and Moody was supposed to attend. Present in the hall were Bee Rack O’Vama, Day Weed, Vladdy Putty, Angel Miracle, Fancy Holland, Na Buzz and a host of others. The subject of discussion was, obviously, terrorism.
Suddenly a mobile phone rang – it was for Day Weed.
‘Yes,’ he spoke, ‘his flight has landed?’
There was a huge sigh of relief all around. Moody had arrived and would soon be with them. The vehicle had been sent to the tarmac to pick him up and bring him directly to the hall.

‘Hey man,’ Bee Rack O’Vama leaned towards Day Weed. ‘I think Moody hates hotels.’
‘Yes,’ Day Weed said. ‘That’s why he remains in his aircraft and we have to arrange his transport to and from the tarmac.’
‘Actually he could have modified his aircraft to something like Air Force One which can carry his special vehicle,’ O’Vama said. ‘He can use it wherever he goes instead of being cooped up in the aircraft.’
‘If you ask me, I think he feels more comfortable among his own people,’ Vladdy Putty added his comments. ‘Moody has seen enough of the world to realize that he needs to be more accessible to others.’
‘Yeah,’ O’Vama said. ‘Wherever he goes, he meets and mingles with his own people.’
‘You can’t blame him for that,’ it was now the turn of Na Buzz to have his say. ‘Moody is a good man – he makes it a point to give gifts.’
‘That helps to create a sort of bond,’ Day Weed said. ‘But the novelty soon wears off.’
‘Can anyone tell me why he loves to remain in his aircraft,’ Angel Miracle now asked. ‘Is it a hidden fear of terrorist attacks?’
Vladdy Putty gave a hearty laugh.
‘No, I don’t think so,’ he replied.
‘Why do you rule out the possibility?’ Day Weed asked.
‘He always moves about with his special band of security,’ Putty explained. ‘They are experts in yoga and can wield a stick like no one has ever done. They are his own brand of soldiers.’
‘You mean the half-pant brigade?’ Day Weed asked.
‘You have hit the nail on the head,’ Putty grinned. ‘But – they are changing over to trousers.’
‘Why?’
‘Because half-pants look strange outside Moody’s country. And, the frequency of his foreign visits is on the increase. Therefore, the men entrusted with his security have to be in step with the times. Hence, the changeover.’
It was at this moment that Moody entered the conference hall and beamed at the august gathering – he was flanked by his bodyguards who wielded stout sticks. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Moody’s policy – love thy neighbor (satire)

Lord Shiva wants to be the King of good times (satire)

Narad queers the pitch for Didi & Co (satire)


France continues to attract tourists despite the terror attacks

Summer sees high occupancy rates in Kanpur cinema halls

Five killed in sightseeing helicopter crash near Great Smokey Mountains National Park


ISIS still holding 30 workers out of 300 kidnapped from cement factory in Dumeir

Another Bangladeshi blogger killed in Dhaka because of his views on religion

Florida hunters bag a 15-foot 800-pound massive alligator


Indonesian pop star dies after being bitten by a cobra on stage

Tom Hiddleston denies that he would be next James Bond

“Sicario 2” - Emily Blunt, Josh Brolin and Benicio Del Toro will team up again

Moody’s policy – love thy neighbor (satire)

Moody’s policy – love thy neighbor (satire) Moody is a very religious leader – he follows all the rituals dutifully and when the situation demands, he can remain active as always on just a few glasses of water. It was all thanks to the discipline and yoga – both are necessary to take care of uncertainties.
But – the behavior of his neighbor had him totally confused even though his policy is ‘love thy neighbor’.
That is why he had sent an urgent SMS to Sue Sharma and Jet Lee – the two individuals who were closest to him. They had heaps of knowledge on anything pertaining to other countries.

‘The sudden about turn of our neighbor is really strange, don’t you think so?’ Moody asked Sue Sharma.
‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘We had high hopes for him. And – the opposition is now saying that the shawl-saree strategy has backfired.’
‘No, I don’t think so,’ Moody shook his head. ‘My poor friend is passing through terrible times. He has few people that he can trust. He was not knowing about that incident in our air force base. I think it was a case of mistaken identity. Something to do with cattle that had crossed the borders and entered our base searching for fresh grass.’
‘Yes,’ Jet Lee joined the conservation. ‘We can’t blame the poor animals – after all, our side of the border is greener as compared to theirs. And - animals don’t believe in borders and barbed wires. When hungry, they just locate new pastures.’
‘Tell me,’ Moody leaned forward in his chair and asked – ‘how does one define terrorism? Who is a terrorist?’
‘A very tough question,’ Jet Lee cleared his throat and gave a diplomatic reply.
‘I find it difficult to accept the fact that when people are on the give and take concept with regard to shawls and sarees, how can the relationship sour up so soon?’ Sue Sharma commented. ‘There must be something that we are missing.’
‘Exactly,’ Moody heaved a sigh of relief. ‘I want to get to the bottom of this. Let us form a committee to go deep into the matter and find a solution.’
‘I think that would be just fine,’ Jet Lee said. ‘I’ll get it organized.’
‘Also, check up the latest design of pashmina shawls that have come in the market,’ Moody added. ‘I must keep another set ready to gift my neighbor the next time we meet.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Lord Shiva with Moody, Didi and salted biscuits (satire)

Lord Shiva is, by and large, a non-interfering type of man and loves to keep his counsel to himself. But, of late, he was getting confused as he watched the TV news.
‘What is that Moody character doing on Didi’s turf?’ he asked Durga who was keeping him company as she knitted sweaters for the coming winter. Of course winter was some months away but Durga’s time was always at a premium. She had to attend to her devotees whenever they wanted her – and, that was becoming more and more frequent. They would do some mischief and pray to her to set things right.
‘Moody has a soft corner for Didi,’ Durga replied. ‘And – none of them want to admit it. They share mutual dependency but do not want to admit it in public.’
‘Very strange,’ Lord Shiva picked up a biscuit from the plate, put it in his mouth, munched a bit and made a grimace. It did not escape Durga’s glance.

‘Anything wrong?’ she asked.
‘It is supposed to be a salted biscuit but it tastes funny.’
‘Oh – then it must be rom Baba Someday’s bakery.’
‘And – who is this character?’
‘He is a true son of the soil,’ Durga said. ‘He has set up his own farm, oil mill, a confectionary, bakery, cosmetics plant and, of course, medicines. His products are flooding the market – his intention is to drive out competition.’
‘But – why should his salted biscuit not taste like salted biscuits?’
‘Probably he has used Moon salt.’
‘Moon salt? What is that? I have heard of rock salt but not Moon salt.’
‘It is rumored that he has the prescription to make Moon salt here on Earth,’ Durga explained. ‘This Baba is a very learned and well-traveled individual. He is a yoga master and has mastered the concept of time travel and tele transportation. He has even visited the Moon on the sly.’
‘Where is his spacecraft? I’d love to see it.’
‘He doesn’t need those contraptions,’ Durga said. ‘To him it is a mind game – he can beam himself up whenever he wants.’
‘Tell me – why is Moody yelling his head off? And – who are those people sitting in the field in front of him? Are they listening to him? Will they not suffer from sunstroke?’
‘No – they have come to earn some money.’
‘What is that?’
‘It is election time and the TV cameras are everywhere.’
‘That is but natural.’
‘Yes. When leaders make a speech, there must be a huge crowd. An empty or near empty stadium gives a bad impression. Therefore, the organizers bring in truckloads of people to make the crowd. These people understand nothing except hunger and each of them gets paid some money. The noise they make could very well be jeers instead of cheers.’(to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Moody learns about the Panama Papers (satire)

It had come like a bolt from the blue and had got Moody worried – it was the Panama Papers scandal and involved innumerable big names from all over the world. Some of them were Big names from the cine world. And – all of them had apparently stashed away millions of their money in this offshore tax haven.
Moody had heard about Panama hats and the Panama Canal and also a cigarette whose brand name was Panama – but, this Panama Papers was a new one.

Suddenly Jet Lee entered his office. He had shed some more weight.
‘What is this Panama Papers leak all about?’ Moody asked him.
‘It is another tax haven,’ Jet Lee replied. ‘Some big names have emerged and they are big enough to take care of themselves.’
‘You mean we do not have to worry?’
‘Yes, sort of,’ Jet Lee assured.
‘I heard some of our movie stars feature in the list,’ Moody said.
‘Well – when they boast of earnings of crores of rupees from every movie, they know how to keep their money secure.’
‘Then how about working out a scheme to make them part with a portion of that money?’
At this point, Baba Someday entered. He looked excited.
‘Have you heard?’ he came up to Moody and asked. ‘First the Swiss banks and now the Panama connection. Achhe Din is fast approaching. I think you can now fulfill your pre-election promise of transferring Rs 35,000 to everybody’s bank account.’
‘Baba-ji, it is not so simple,’ Jet Lee explained. ‘There are lots of formalities and legal hurdles. My boys are already on the job. We will get the money back and happy days will be here again.’
The Panama Papers connection had added yet another dimension to the hunt for Black Money that Moody has talked about. He had been led to believe that all unaccounted money was hidden in Swiss banks. He had also presumed that those who held money there used to go on Swiss vacations and bring back portions of their ill-gotten gains.
But – it was not a simple affair. He had sent Sue Sharma to try and convince the bankers to part with the information and she came back with a list of a few hundred when the expectation was in millions. Moody had also sent Jet Lee on the mission and he himself was always trying to bring up the subject at every forum. However, the expectation of quick results did not materialize and, his promises of acche din kept going out of reach. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Didi finds jhal-muri too hot to handle (satire)

The henchmen of Didi were finding it extremely difficult to keep pace with her activities and whirlwind tours. It was election time and she kept her people on their toes – her regular walks set the mood for the fight and she was loving every moment. Her secret has always been the element of surprise.
‘Shall I ask them to send in another round of jhal-muri?’ Abhi Shake asked her.
Didi gave him a hard stare.
‘I think we can go in for tele bhaja for a change,’ she said. ‘Beguni or aloor chop would be fine.’
Abhi Shake relayed the message to the restaurant in the corner.
‘Tell them to use fresh mustard oil,’ Didi reminded him. ‘I don’t want to get ulcers.’

Moo Cool coughed discreetly to get her attention.
‘Yes,’ Didi looked at him.
‘I have arranged a chopper for your next trip,’ he said. ‘It will be faster and the villagers will be impressed. They will turn up in large numbers to see a chopper from close quarters. We can be assured of a full house.’
‘Good,’ she was satisfied. ‘We must blow away all opposition. Leave no stone unturned. All of you know our strategies. Let us coin slogans that will send out proper messages.’
‘That is what we are doing,’ Patro Chatto said. ‘There are innumerable freelancers in the field – they are educated and waiting for proper jobs. They are doing a beautiful job and work for a pittance. Many of them are from the IT industry and are waiting to go abroad. This slogan making is a stop-gap arrangement for many of them.’
‘What about our engineers?’ Didi wanted to know.
‘They are studying the intricacies of flyovers,’ Patro explained. ‘Especially the art of making flyovers that can come down so that it can be rebuilt. We have to keep our workforce bagged and create prospects for the lower level to prosper.’
‘Yes – we are a party of the masses that works for the masses,’ Didi said.
By then, another round of refreshments had come. The attendant placed a plate in front of Didi and she loved the aroma of freshly fried beguni in mustard oil – she bit into one and closed her eyes. It was much better than jhal-muri. (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'

Lord Shiva on the collapse of Burrabazar flyover (satire)

It was just after lunch and Lord Shiva was strolling in front of his cave. That is what Durga always insists – he must do some exercise after meals. Not necessarily the dumb-bells and parallel bars and treadmill but simple walking would also help digestion.
Yes – digestion has become a problem for him. It was not so even fifty years back but, the quality of eatables has gone down – there is adulteration galore. Even the fruits are getting a coat of artificial color to make them look attractive.
Suddenly he heard the noise. It sounded as if something had collapsed somewhere.
He peered into the distance and focused his attention in the general direction of Howrah Bridge – the sound came from that area.

Durga had also come out from her kitchen. Like a true housewife, she loved to spend time in her kitchen.
‘Did you hear that?’ Shiva asked.
‘Yes, I thought it is some explosion.’ ‘But – explosions happen during Diwali. Why now?’
‘May be some victory celebration,’ Durga said.
‘Victory? What victory? India lost the WT20 – what is there to make a noise about?’
‘Could be some election victory,’ Durga said.
‘There is time for that. The results will be declared by middle of May.’
Suddenly Ganesh came out of his cave. He was listening to someone on his mobile phone. Lakshmi was with him – she also was listening on her mobile.
‘What’s the matter?’ Shiva wanted to know.
‘Burrabazar is in trouble,’ Ganesh replied. ‘All the traders are worried – the flyover has collapsed. And – their business is in the doldrums. All of them want my advice. They love me and pray to me every morning and also whenever they are in trouble. They expect me to look after their interests.’
‘OK – fine. They offer you your favorite food daily and you have to stand by them. But why did the flyover collapse?’ ‘That is a mystery that Didi and Moody have to sort out,’ Ganesh said. ‘If you ask me, I think it is all the net result of underhand dealings.’
‘Yes, corruption has gone deep into the system.’ Shiva sighed. ‘Look at me. I am unable to get a tiger skin because tigers are a protected species. So, I have to either get it in the black market or wear make-believe tiger skins. Even the ganja that Bhringi gets for me does not have the kick. I think I’ll have to buy it online.’ (to be continued …)


Image courtesy wikimediacommons.org

Some more interesting links -

Didi rolls out the red carpet (satire)

Moody’s cleanliness drive - free soap for all children (satire)

Lord Shiva cannot relate to today’s Shivaratri (satire)


Teenage girl jumps off moving bus in Mehsana to avoid molestation

Transgender candidate to contest against Mamata Banerjee in West Bengal polls

Japan kills 333 whales in its latest Antarctic hunt - the figure was 252 whales in 2014


ISIS claims responsibility for Brussels attack and warns Britain of more severe attacks

Tragedy in chicken eating contest in Indonesia - a competitor chokes to death

Terror attack in Ankara kills at least 37 - one suicide bomber was a 22-year-old woman

Star Wars Episode VIII to get delayed till December 2017

Antonio Banderas gifted a pair of monkeys to Salma Hayek on her birthday

Frieda Pinto talks about 'Jungle Book - Origins'